25 Things Every Father Must Teach His Daughter About Life
Are you teaching your daughter what she needs to know to become a confident, well-adjusted woman?
Yesterday, I wrote about how our daughters are under attack in our toxic culture. I expounded on all the messages they hear that are leading them astray.
Today, I want to offer what we as fathers must be teaching our daughters if we want them to grow up to be happy, independent and productive.
Teach daughters these 25 things and they will love you for it!
These are the things I want to teach my two daughters. I am convinced these are the things necessary to counteract all the other crap they hear elsewhere.
1. Family is forever
I want her to know that I will always love her mother. Her family will always be here as a complete unit for her to depend upon. I will model the loving marriage I want her to have.
2. She is beautiful just the way she is
I will tell her this regularly to affirm her belief in it. I will let her know that her natural beauty is all the attractiveness she will ever need and that I love her just the way she is.
3. She is enough and capable of anything
I will reassure her regularly that she has all the intelligence, confidence and capability she needs to conquer anything she wants to do in life. She is more than enough!
4. How to say “no” and mean it
Over the years, her girlfriends and boyfriends are going to ask her to do things that aren’t good for her. I will teach her it is okay to say “no” and stick to it. Practice makes perfect!
5. What I believe is right and wrong
Where else are our daughters going to get moral clarity? We must teach them what we believe is ethical and right so they have a measure to live by.
6. Humility
Yes, I want my daughter to be confident and independent, but I also want her to respect others and to treat everyone with dignity. I want her to give due regard to those in authority such as teachers, public servants and her parents!
7. How to eat to remain healthy
I want my daughter to have a healthy view of food. I don’t want her to overindulge, but I also don’t want her to be obsessed with dieting. Modeling a healthy diet and lifestyle are vital.
8. Men should treat her with gentleness and respect
She will learn this by observing the way I treat her and her mother. I will teach her that she should refuse to accept anything less.
9. Modesty
It is much more attractive to create a modest and authentic look. Young women that wear clothes that are revealing are crying out for attention. I will teach my daughter that there are boundaries to what is acceptable.
10. Relationships and family matter most in life
I will teach her that most of her joy and fulfillment in life will come from the relationships she builds. It is of the utmost importance that she chooses and acts wisely.
11. Not to drink too much and to stay away from drugs
Alcohol consumption in excess is dangerous and impairs judgement. Alcohol before she is an adult is especially harmful. Educating her on the perils and providing firm supervision is paramount.
12. Her father will always defend her
She needs to know that if someone wrongs her, that I will defend her. I will be her champion and hero. She will never need to look elsewhere to find protection.
13. How to manage her money
I will teach her that debt is dangerous and that thrift and frugality are wise. I will show her how to budget her money and ways to save. I will involve her so she can learn from an early age.
14. The value of honesty and integrity
I want my daughter to understand that you are only as good as your reputation. If you lie or cheat, word will spread and you will be discredited. It is always better to tell the truth.
15. Patience
Wait. Wait to have sex. Wait until you find the right man. Wait so you can finish college. Wait so you can travel. Be patient. There is no need to rush into things.
16. Keep things simple
You will never regret keeping your life simple. Complexity is burdensome. It is tiring. The simpler the solution, the more eloquent it is. Keep your life simple!
17. Put God first
God is your compass. He will show you the way. I will live so she knows what God means to me and that I have a relationship with Him. He will never fail her.
18. How to pray
Lift up all your concerns and thanksgiving to God! It will help you to always remain humble and grateful. You are blessed!
19. We have more than enough
Be content. Don’t fall victim to hyper-consumerism. It will put you in a hole that you won’t like. Recognize when you have enough. Give generously.
20. Appreciate nature
A good deal of the wonder and beauty in life is found in nature. Spend time outdoors. Take care of the environment. Take time to appreciate all nature has to offer.
21. Be persistent
Perseverance is one of the key characteristics of the successful. Don’t give up too easily. Stick with things until you conquer them. Try and try again.
22. Be practical and pragmatic
Stay grounded. Look for solutions that work. Solve problems for people and they will appreciate you. Keep your head about you. Be logical.
23. She alone has authority over her body and life
Don’t let people push you around. It is okay to be nice, but you also have to know when to put your foot down. Draw the line when it is necessary.
24. Ask yourself, “So, what can I do about it?”
This goes along with being practical. Follow the wisdom in the Serenity Prayer. It will decrease the stress in your life and increase your effectiveness.
25. Your father will always, always, always love you!
I want her to know above all else that my love is unconditional. I may not always like her behavior, but I will always love her. She needs to understand this separation.
This is a big job, but I’m up for it because my daughters matter
I’m not going to kid you. Raising a daughter in today’s culture is a big job. The stakes are high. The opposition is fierce.
However, I will not give in. I am drawing a line in the sand today. I will be a father to my daughters. I will fight for them. I will live as an example. This world and our society will not claim them as victims.
Time is wasting. I’d better get busy!
What did I leave out? What else do we need to be teaching our daughters?
Photo by DAHstra
Great list! I’m right with you on all of those.
Read Nicki at Domestic Cents´s latest article – I’m Willing To Do Without
2, 4 and 25 are my favourites, really nice list Jeff.
Stumbled as always
Cheers
Glen
Read Glen Allsopp´s latest article – The Most Inspiring Video You’ll Watch This Year
Outstanding post! Your daughter is fortunate to have you as a father. One more: fathers show their daughters what a good spouse is like. Research shows the main determinant of the kind of person a woman marries is her father — pretty heavy!
They watch how we treat them. . . and how we treat their mothers! That’s quite a lesson!
Keep up the good work! Best wishes.
Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
author of Save The Marriage
Nice, list. Two I would add would be a good left hook. And how to throw a football. Being a guy coming out of college, there is nothing cooler than having a simple football catch with a girl while tailgating/beach/park and actually enjoy that. I know that is off topic to the point of your list but just thought I would add it.
This is great. As the father of 2 daughters. I totally appreciate this. I’m sharing this with all my other fellow “doods” (fathers of only girls).
Read Christopher´s latest article – More Secrets to Happiness
This is a beautiful and meaningful post. Perhaps my favorite ever. My husband is doing a wonderful job teaching our daughters. It’s always encouraging to see other fathers doing the same.
Your girls will benefit as long as they live and their offspring too, and on and on and on.
@Craig – A left hook might be very valuable!
@Christopher – I hope others pass this around as well. All the “doods” out there need it!
@valerie – Raising daughters is an awesome responsibility. Thanks for your encouraging words.
I appreciate the comments!
Beautiful article, Jeff. The only thing I would add is to teach your daughters about being kind and generous to those less fortunate.
Girls who are raised to be confident in their father’s love and attention tend to be less needy when they’re shopping for boyfriends.
Fathers and daughters have a special bond and it sound like you are planning to do all you can to nurture that relationship. Good for you!
Read SimplyForties´s latest article – Yikes – Has Someone Got My Debit Card Number?
[...] over at My Super-Charged Life wrote 25 Things Every Father Must Teach His Daughter About Life. Having a daughter, I really loved this post. Jeff, you should think of re-printing this one [...]
Well done Jeff! I think it is so important to encourage, support, defend, love and teach your daughter. It’s amazing how important the relationship between father and daughter is and often that is overlooked. You will be her biggest and most influential male role model.
I love how SimplyForties says it in her comment above “Girls who are raised to be confident in their father’s love and attention tend to be less needy when they’re shopping for boyfriends.” This is so true.
Your daughter is very fortunate to have a dad that is so aware and from the sounds of it will fight very hard for your relationship with her. Well done!
Read Sherri (Serene Journey)´s recent article – Tips To Enjoy Life
Super list, No. 25 is huge! Children need to know unconditional love, and the difference between themselves and their behavior. I’m sharing this with my daughters father, as well as, some other dads out there.
Read .:robyn:.´s latest article – RobynBryant: "Don’t spend your life wishing away what you have. You never know when it will be gone." -Katherine ?
Great list. I have two daughters myself
Read B Simple´s latest article – Simple Personal Financial Tips and Reminders – Week 10
“I will Love you, no matter what happens…”thats the ultimate line.Awesome list.
What a great post! I’m printing it and putting it in my office at home. The one thing I’m going to add is “Teach Her Self Discipline” because with that she can accomplish her long term goals. This made my day!
Read Scott´s latest article – California Dreaming
my dad did none of that so…my mom was there for me instead.
Fantastic article. My dad taught me a lot of that, as did my mom. The older I get, the more fortunate I realize that I was.
Read Mrs. Micah´s latest article – What is Your Financial Story?
[...] of children, for the men out there, this is a great post on 25 things every father must teach his daughter about life. One thing missing from that list is teaching your child to appreciate the outdoors; the Grass [...]
My husband, over at AdventureinProgress directed me here and now I’m tearing up. The world would be a much better place if all fathers were as loving as yourself and my husband.
Read renee @ FIMBY´s latest article – A Blogging Mama Does the Numbers
[...] start with Jeff’s post at My Supercharged Life 25 Things Every Father Must Teach His Daughter About Life. I am a sucker for well created lists, and despite not being a financial one, this list will be [...]
[...] hearts in loving and nurturing our daughters to become excellent young women. I have even created a list of things I want to teach my daughters to be successful in life. After giving so much, I want to know that the men that marry my daughters will be gentle with [...]
Ohh really awesome post. I am a daughter and while reading this post my eyes got filled up with tears reminiscing that all these things my father did for me. He is really best father of this world. He is the person whom I love and respect most in this world. He is not only a best father he is a best person too I have ever seen in my life.
I love you papa…I love you a lot.