3 Essential Building Blocks for Greater Happiness

How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Regardless of the answer, most people believe there is still a higher level of happiness out there for them.  However, they have no real, concrete ideas about how to go about increasing their happiness.

This leads them to all kinds of crazy pursuits that almost always turn out to be dead-ends.  Finding happiness can definitely be a frustrating experience.

However, it really isn’t as complicated as we make it out to be.  There are some very simple building blocks for happiness that once recognized can significantly increase our feelings of well-being.

The Wrong Ways to Try to Increase Happiness

It is important to begin by identifying some of the wrong ways that we seek happiness.  These will serve as a contrast to the real building blocks that we will discuss later.

Most of us apply the trial and error technique for finding happiness.  We go wherever our whims and desires lead us hoping and thinking it will make us happy.  Unfortunately, this very behavior is usually what leads to unhappiness.

We try a thing believing it is the solution to our happiness dilemma only to discover that it is a false promise.  This produces feelings of despair, confusion and sometimes embarrassment.  Of course, all of these reduce our happiness level leaving us less happy than we were before.

In addition, we often confuse pleasure with happiness.  We think more food, money, possessions, prestige, recognition, adventure or sex will appease that insatiable hunger inside us.  These things may produce a temporary high, but generally they are not long-term solutions.  Why?  Because it continually takes more and more of these fixes to produce the same good feelings.  It is not sustainable nor is it the path to real happiness.

Others of us have turned to trying to numb the hunger for more happiness.  We bury ourselves in work, hobbies, television, drugs, video games or alcohol trying to deaden the desire.  Of course, this never works either and instead just leaves us feeling burned out and desperate.

These are all counterfeits.  They can never really make us happier.  They are deceptions.  Think of them like mirages in a desert.  They only offer false hope and fail to deliver true satisfaction.

The Real Building Blocks for Greater Happiness

What are the real solutions for finding greater happiness?  Well, there is a unique recipe for each individual.  Therefore, I can’t tell you to do this or do that and you’ll be happy.  No one can. 

What I can do is give you three building blocks.  These lay the foundation for creating happiness.  They are the groundwork and from there you can add your own unique style to the final outcome.  Real happiness starts with these three essentials weaving them uniquely into your own tapestry.

Here are the three real building blocks for greater happiness:

1.  Trust

In order to be happy you have to be in an environment where trust exists.  Trust is where you derive your sense of safety.  If you don’t feel safe, then you can’t really begin to be happy.  You need to know that you aren’t going to be taken advantage of around every corner.  Societies where trust is very low are some of the unhappiest countries on Earth.

To experience greater happiness, we need to be able to trust and feel a relatively high degree of safety with:

• Our spouses and family
• Our government
• Our job security
• Our financial means
• Our access to basic necessities

I’m sure this list is not 100% complete, but it gives you the idea.  We have to be able to trust that we are safe and that our basic needs are going to be met in order to experience greater happiness.

This is the first building block.  If you are in a situation where your sense of trust is low, then you need to rectify that before you are going to be able to find more happiness.  This means that you might need to improve your relationships or find a new job or get on a budget to better your financial situation.  The point is that if you increase your trust in your well-being, you’ll begin to increase your happiness.

2.  Community

We all desire a sense of connectedness.  I know there are differences in this area when it comes to introverts versus extroverts, but it is really just a difference in scale.  Introverts want a small, intimate group of close friends where extroverts want a large, looser group of what a lot of us introverts usually refer to as acquaintances.  The point is that we all want to feel like we belong somewhere.

This is why there is such a strong social element in schools, workplaces and churches.  Of course, you also find people flocking together at pubs, around hobbies and even online.  Once we feel a sense of trust, then we are free to start building a sense of community or connectedness with others.

Community gives us a sense of affirmation.  We feel loved and accepted by the group and this is very important to our overall well-being.  Your community could be your family, a club, a church

You might think that you like to be alone, but this really isn’t the case.  It is an avoidance mechanism.  You have likely been hurt by others in the past and don’t want to subject yourself to the possibility of future pain.

If you desire a greater sense of happiness, then you have to find that place where you fit in and can become a part of the community.  I know it is sometimes risky, but your happiness depends upon it.

3.  Purpose

Once we have trust and community, then finding our purpose is essential to greater happiness still.  Generally, people find this purpose in their community, whatever kind of group that is.  For example, if you belong to a club of some sort, then you might seek to become president or serve in some other capacity necessary to the group’s proper functioning. 

Purpose gives you a sense of being needed and valuable.  This is a crucial part of feeling happier.  We all want to know that we matter.  We want to feel like we are contributing to the greater good.  We also want a few pats on the back from others.  All of this gives us a warm feeling inside that is a part of our overall happiness.

There are a ton of ways to find purpose in your life.  You can volunteer.  You can help family.  You can work at a career that you feel fulfills a worthy cause.  Again, this purpose is unique to your personality and desire, but finding it will definitely boost your happiness.

Use These Building Blocks to Create Greater Happiness

I challenge you to consider these building blocks in your own life.  Where are you lacking?  Where do you need to concentrate to increase your happiness?  What do you need more of?  Explore these building blocks and you will find that it really is possible to build a better life.

Photo by StarMama