Are you living on autopilot?
Planes have autopilots so they can fly themselves for awhile. This frees the human pilots up to relax a little during less critical phases of flight.
All too often, we think we can put important parts of our lives on autopilot as a way to cope with being over committed and stressed out.
Automated navigation systems guide planes when they are on autopilot to keep them on course, but there is no GPS for life.
If you aren’t actively engaged in running your life, then it is straying off course and who knows where you might end up?
You Never Know Where You’re Going Until You Get There
You probably heard about the Delta-Northwest Airlines flight that flew 150 miles past the airport it was supposed to land at while on autopilot in October.
These guys seriously screwed up and they endangered the lives of the 140+ passengers onboard not to mention the other crew members.
The pilots flew 45 minutes past their intended destination and didn’t answer radio calls for an hour and twenty minutes! This is a very dangerous thing to do in Post 9-11 America.
However, I’ve been thinking that we often do the same thing with critical aspects of our lives. We dangerously lull ourselves into thinking that it will all work out somehow whether we are giving it the attention it needs or not.
When we do this, we are not only endangering our own livelihood, but the future of our entire family and possibly generations to come. Our children learn their behavior from us and they are likely to pass it along to their kids — good or bad.
It is imperative that we WAKE UP and take care of the important things in life or we might wind up so far off course that it is impossible to recover without serious consequences.
By the way, the FAA revoked the licenses of the two Northwest pilots. I guess now they can rest or talk or work on their laptops in the unemployment line instead of in the cockpit.
It is a shame really. Their lapse in attention to what was important has cost them their career, their reputation and a ton of heartache. How do you recover from all that?!? You don’t.
The 7 Areas Where You Can’t Afford to Live on Autopilot
I’m convinced that there are certain areas of life that just won’t take care of themselves. We have to give these things the attention they deserve or it will cost us big time down the road.
Here are 7 critical areas you need to take off autopilot:
1. Raising Your Children
You absolutely cannot afford to let your children grow up on autopilot. You have to provide them guidance, correction and boundaries. They are either following you or someone else. If it isn’t you, then how do you know what they are being taught?
As parents, it is easy to become complacent. It takes a lot of work to engage with your children and provide the discipline they need. It is tiring and sometimes it feels like you are just spinning your wheels. It is often hard to discern any progress, but I can assure you that involved parents make a difference.
2. Loving Your Spouse
An ignored marriage will grow stale and distant. I’ve written before about how love is a verb. It takes commitment and action for your marriage to flourish. Both partners need to offer 100% to the relationship for it to be successful, but things have to start somewhere. Why not with you?
It is easy to rationalize excuses for not engaging in your marriage. You can think things like, “He wouldn’t appreciate it even if I tried” or “There is no way to please her”. Of course, these are just excuses rooted in fear and laziness. Seek guidance and give your marriage your best and you might be surprised. You might end up with the dream marriage. Are you willing to live with the alternative? Get busy and get your marriage off autopilot!
3. Managing Your Career or Business
What have you done lately to move yourself forward in your career or business? This is another area that we often put on autopilot. We get comfortable where we are at and stagnate. It takes concentrated effort to move to the next level. You can’t do it on autopilot.
Set a goal and make a plan to achieve your objective by a certain date. Write it down and talk about it with your spouse and friends. You have to focus your thoughts and actions if you want to get moving again. Don’t let yourself remain stuck where you are at for another minute!
4. Controlling Your Personal Finances
Way too many people let their personal finances run on autopilot. I know because I’ve been there. The primary symptoms that result are spending more than you earn and piling up debt on credit cards. The bad news is, that for most, there is a day of reckoning. We’ve seen a lot of people experience that day lately as they’ve lost their jobs, homes and hope.
You have to get on a budget if you want to get control of your money. I just heard a collective whine out there! I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but it is the only way you are ever going to turn your life around and fix your finances. Yes, you will have to make some changes, but these sacrifices are gains, not losses! Get control of your finances today.
5. Preparing for Your Retirement
We are all getting older. The march toward retirement goes faster than you think. Ignoring it will not make it go away. Are you saving for your retirement? Some of you think you are too young for this to be a concern, but I can assure you that you are not! You are simply leaving this part of your life on autopilot.
You should be putting as much as possible back in your 401k and other investments for retirement. You should also be learning what you can about health insurance options once you retire. I’ve been helping my mother with a lot of this lately and believe me, it is never too early to start educating yourself.
6. Protecting and Improving Your Health
You reap what you sow when it comes to your health. It really doesn’t take that much to live a healthy lifestyle, but it is easy to ignore. Although there are some immediate benefits to exercising and eating right, the real payoff is down the road. Long-term thinking is your greatest tool for success when it comes to health and many other important areas of life.
We all need to start making healthy living a priority if we want to live long and prosper. I’d hate to think that I’d saved and sacrificed in other areas of my life only to have poor health rob be of the fruits of my labor once I retire. I don’t know about you, but this is not an area that I want to leave on autopilot!
7. Growing in Your Faith
Last, but certainly not least, you can’t leave your spiritual life on autopilot and expect a good outcome. I recently wrote about how growing in my faith is a key component of my life purpose. Faith adds significance and meaning to a world that otherwise seems random and chaotic. It also provides a critical moral compass that we all need.
Just as with all these other areas of life, your faith doesn’t grow unless you give it the attention it needs. It is so easy to backslide or veer just a little off course if you aren’t paying full attention to your spiritual walk. Sometimes these little detours can cost you big time. Don’t let it happen to you! Seek to grow continually in your faith.
What other ways do we live on autopilot?
Photo by Peter Kaminski
Hey Jeff,
Great post and I love all the points especially the first one. Even though I don’t have any of my own I take a big interest in working with children and equiping them with the knowledge and skill to live life more consciously.
Great to connect with you!
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..Choose Your Inspirational Acronym For The Week =-.
Thanks for a great, and motivating post, Jeff. I know that I personally have issues with only focusing on one thing at a time, but with great intensity (obsession). For a few months, I may read exclusively financial books and look at our budget twice a day. Fitness may then jump ahead as my focus for a while and I’ll drop some pounds. I need to work on better balance in my approach to staying off of autopilot.
And thanks for the link to Engaged Marriage!
.-= Dustin | Engaged Marriage´s last blog ..7 Ways Children Teach Us About God =-.
@Amit – That’s awesome that you invest in the lives of children! You are doing a very good thing. I hope you can help plant some of the seeds of good living in their lives.
@Dustin – It is true that you can’t give every area of your life your full attention all the time, but there are certain areas where neglect can have an especially ill effect. I’ve tried to point those out here. However, even in these areas you don’t have to devote 100% of your attention to them constantly. You just need to be consciously managing them on a regular basis to stay on course.
Thanks for your great comments!
Children – I have none; not applicable.
Spouse – I have none; not applicable.
Career – What am I supposed to be moving forward towards?
Personal Finances – Some people would say that automating your finances is a good thing, not a bad. Not the same thing as ignoring them, of course. I’d argue that accumulating debt like you describe is WORSE than autopilot; it’s like crashing intentionally. I’m working on this one, paying off debt.
Retirement – I need work on this one. I have no retirement savings. I’m 28, and more worried about paying off debt first.
Health – Very true. I have health issues which have been examined and no concrete diagnosis came out of it. Alas, sometimes there isn’t much you can do.
Spirituality – I would say “last, and certainly least.” You don’t need faith to find purpose, meaning, or morality. It might help some people, but this idea that it’s something we all need is nonsense.
@prufock – First, thanks for responding to my article. I like knowing that people are considering what I write.
Second, I acknowledge that not all of what is in this article applies to everyone. You’ve noted that. Please disregard whatever isn’t helpful to you.
Third, what sticks out to me about your response is that you don’t seem to have any purpose or direction in your life. You ask, “What am I supposed to be moving forward towards?” regarding your career. I think this is an important question that you need to answer for yourself. What are you moving towards? Don’t you want your life to count for something? What are you passionate about? Go make a difference somewhere! You have value, skills and insight that will advance the cause of your choice. Apply yourself consciously and you will see a clearer future.
In regards to automating your personal finances, I don’t have a problem with automation. However, you should NOT set and forget forever. You have to monitor and adjust.
We agree on retirement and health so I’ll skip those except to address your comment of “…sometimes there isn’t much you can do.” I’d disagree. This is a victim mentality. It sounds like you’ve accepted defeat. Don’t stop fighting! You are worth more than that. In every situation, there is always more that can be done.
Finally, I respectfully disagree with your opinion of spirituality. Faith is very important. What is the purpose of life if you don’t have faith that God is out there and that all this is part of a bigger plan? Is humanity just a random occurrence? You say that you don’t need faith to find purpose, meaning or morality, but it seems to me from your comments here that you lack faith and purpose. It seems you are wandering aimlessly. I’ve chosen to build my life on a strong foundation of faith. I’ve got meaning and purpose. What is your life built upon? If there is no God, then why live a moral life? What’s the point? I’d really recommend that you read Mere Christianity to help answer some of these questions.
I hope this gives you a few things to ponder. Thanks for commenting and for giving me the chance to respond directly!
Have a great day!
You say, “Faith is very important. What is the purpose of life if you don’t have faith that God is out there and that all this is part of a bigger plan?”
What utter nonsense. Faith in the supernatural is irrational and unnecessary at best. It might be comforting to believe in an invisible god and the fanciful stories and promises that accompany him(?), but it does not make him real. Suspending all logic in order to believe in the supernatural is not necessary to make one happy, successful, or fulfilled. I am kind and generous to others not out of fear of retribution from a vengeful god; instead I act decently to others because I possess empathy and compassion. God does not enter in to the equation.
Also, when you speak of “God,” which god are you referring to? Zeus? Apollo? Vishnu? Why are you an atheist towards these gods but not the invisible god you worship? Your article was compelling at first, but you just couldn’t resist proselytizing and digressing in to irrationality.
Jeff,
I agree with you on automation – you still need to be aware of your spending. Also, I know that nearly every list such as this one is going to contain things that don’t apply to everyone. Point well made.
“This is a victim mentality.” No, it’s realistic. There are many diseases and disorders for which there are no cures. Some of them have manageable symptoms to varying degrees. There are inoperable cancers, there’s Parkinson’s, there’s Ebola. Luckily I have nothing so serious. And sometimes there are symptoms for which no cause is apparent.
Regarding career: It just isn’t that important to me. I work so I can pay rent, eat, and do things that I enjoy. Moving up a corporate ladder or making piles of cash don’t matter that much, as long as I have enough.
“What is the purpose of life if you don’t have faith that God is out there and that all this is part of a bigger plan?”
To live. To enjoy your life and make of it what you will. There is no inherent purpose, only purpose that you give yourself. You live on your own terms, not the terms of a mythical being.
“Is humanity just a random occurrence?”
Not random, though chance plays a part in evolution. We, like every other species, are the result of a long and arduous process of mutation, heredity, and survival.
“You say that you don’t need faith to find purpose, meaning or morality, but it seems to me from your comments here that you lack faith and purpose.”
I have many purposes, just none that correspond to those you listed here. The main one, for me, is creating music.
“I’ve chosen to build my life on a strong foundation of faith. I’ve got meaning and purpose. What is your life built upon?”
My life is built on creating, on learning, and on enjoying the time I have. As I said, we define our own purpose.
“If there is no God, then why live a moral life? What’s the point?”
Morals hold society in check. They create a sense of safety and security, which has helped us, historically, to survive and thrive. There is a reason there are so few species that prey on their own members. Such a species would likely wipe itself out.
Without gods to give us a helping hand, it is up to us to help ourselves and each other.