Comments on: Avoid The Pitfall Of Comparing Yourself To Others http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/ Good Habits for a Great Life! Sun, 20 May 2012 06:34:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: a http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-12269 a Fri, 03 Jun 2011 20:51:41 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-12269 i came across this today and it was much needed. it's a gem. i've struggled with this a good portion of my life. it's not the easiest thing to shake but persistence pays off. if you keep grinding back your negative thoughts (no matter how hopeless you think it is) some day....and in some way your brain/heart/soul will become attuned to that. if you turn it into a habit then you'll never stop doing the steps jeff illustrates above. i've come to a point in my life where i'm starting to automatically counterattack thoughts- i rationally invalidate the negative comparisons, focus on at least one positive thing and in the end just let it go. a couple suggestions on my part: MEDITATE. MEDITATE. MEDITATE. can't stress this enough. even 5 mins in the morning after you wake up, but before you start filling your day with to do lists and the news. you can do traditional methods like focusing on your breath and allowing all thoughts to drop away. if you keep practicing this then when your faced with negative thoughts in the future they wont have SUCH a grasp on you. you can also spend a few minutes telling yourself (and really feeling it) positive affirmations. things like "i know the life i want. i create the life i want." or "i attract the very best life has to offer" etc... the second thing is to bless or celebrate what others have. it might be tough because it's hard to do this when you're envying or comparing. but honestly, imagine one person with certain qualities that you want. whether they are successful at their job, have countless friends, or a supportive family....imagine them in your mind exuding that quality. then with everything you got, feel as much happiness for them as you can. celebrate them as if your favorite rock band just got on the stage. see, here is a fundamental thing: we ALL, on some level, share everything. what you see in others is an extension of YOUR qualities. when you extend gratitude and celebration to another human being you are celebrating something that you have within yourself. so, to anyone reading hope that helped. thanks again to jeff. what a great post!! i came across this today and it was much needed. it’s a gem.
i’ve struggled with this a good portion of my life. it’s not the easiest thing to shake but persistence pays off. if you keep grinding back your negative thoughts (no matter how hopeless you think it is) some day….and in some way your brain/heart/soul will become attuned to that. if you turn it into a habit then you’ll never stop doing the steps jeff illustrates above. i’ve come to a point in my life where i’m starting to automatically counterattack thoughts- i rationally invalidate the negative comparisons, focus on at least one positive thing and in the end just let it go. a couple suggestions on my part:

MEDITATE. MEDITATE. MEDITATE.
can’t stress this enough. even 5 mins in the morning after you wake up, but before you start filling your day with to do lists and the news. you can do traditional methods like focusing on your breath and allowing all thoughts to drop away. if you keep practicing this then when your faced with negative thoughts in the future they wont have SUCH a grasp on you.

you can also spend a few minutes telling yourself (and really feeling it) positive affirmations. things like “i know the life i want. i create the life i want.” or “i attract the very best life has to offer” etc…

the second thing is to bless or celebrate what others have. it might be tough because it’s hard to do this when you’re envying or comparing. but honestly, imagine one person with certain qualities that you want. whether they are successful at their job, have countless friends, or a supportive family….imagine them in your mind exuding that quality. then with everything you got, feel as much happiness for them as you can. celebrate them as if your favorite rock band just got on the stage. see, here is a fundamental thing: we ALL, on some level, share everything. what you see in others is an extension of YOUR qualities. when you extend gratitude and celebration to another human being you are celebrating something that you have within yourself.

so, to anyone reading hope that helped.

thanks again to jeff. what a great post!!

]]> By: Jeff http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-9940 Jeff Mon, 17 Jan 2011 14:04:53 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-9940 Vance, I'm glad you found what you needed, when you needed it. That's what my site is all about. Thanks for letting me know my article helped! Vance, I’m glad you found what you needed, when you needed it. That’s what my site is all about. Thanks for letting me know my article helped!

]]> By: Vance http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-9936 Vance Sun, 16 Jan 2011 18:22:25 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-9936 David, I can feel your struggle as I read your post. Many people are taught to compare themselves to others at a very young age. Our society and culture reinforce this practice. This is why it is so difficult to give up the practice even when you know it's not helpful. Since the negative impact of comparing yourself to others is connected to other beliefs you learned between infancy and about 6 to 8 years of age; not comparing yourself is a good start but may not always put an end to feeling bad about yourself. However, there is hope because you can learn to challenge and modify any belief you have that may be causing you problems. I am not a professional in the health field, but I know that it can be helpful to get professional help. A professional will be able to direct you to ways of healing the emotional wounds you have suffered and help uncover beliefs that may be keeping you from feeling good. I have been on my own 35 year journey to emotional health and I know that there is hope. Hang in there and don't give up. Vance David,
I can feel your struggle as I read your post. Many people are taught to compare themselves to others at a very young age. Our society and culture reinforce this practice. This is why it is so difficult to give up the practice even when you know it’s not helpful. Since the negative impact of comparing yourself to others is connected to other beliefs you learned between infancy and about 6 to 8 years of age; not comparing yourself is a good start but may not always put an end to feeling bad about yourself. However, there is hope because you can learn to challenge and modify any belief you have that may be causing you problems. I am not a professional in the health field, but I know that it can be helpful to get professional help. A professional will be able to direct you to ways of healing the emotional wounds you have suffered and help uncover beliefs that may be keeping you from feeling good.
I have been on my own 35 year journey to emotional health and I know that there is hope. Hang in there and don’t give up.
Vance

]]> By: Vance http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-9935 Vance Sun, 16 Jan 2011 17:38:53 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-9935 Jeff, I came across this information today. Even though it was posted a couple of years ago, it really helped me. You were able to put into words what I would feel when I compared myself to others. Your advice is really appreciated. Great job and keep up the good work. Vance Jeff,
I came across this information today. Even though it was posted a couple of years ago, it really helped me. You were able to put into words what I would feel when I compared myself to others.
Your advice is really appreciated.
Great job and keep up the good work.
Vance

]]> By: David http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-8626 David Wed, 27 Oct 2010 22:52:06 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-8626 This is a topic very close to my heart. I have remember compareing my self to others way, way back. I am talking childhood. I wasn’t that good looking crooked teeth, (my parents either did not realize that I need braces or did not have the money. I had them put on-myself when I was in my late 30’s) there were other physical features that “I thought” made me look funny also. And of course it was no help that it was supported by the outside world. All the girls were always attracted to my friends and never to me. Even when I was older and at the beach with my two friends, a girl and her mate called me ugly! Wow, so you can see that it has been with me along time. As I grew older I started to use money and “people pleasing” to show that I was as good as anyone else. Well I got married and was still very competitive with my friends. As mentioned in an earlier post, I compare my self on everything, looks, money, size, career, etc, etc,etc, I am close to fifty years old, I have been unemployed over 12 times during my career, have been on welfare twice, lost the 2 homes in my adult life because of job loses. Ok, I am not looking for pity I just sometimes wonder if this is my lot in life and that Almighty GOD will have something better for me on the other side. I know for a fact that I have not always made the best decisions but dam, sometime you think when can I get a break, Sorry for rambling. Back to the topic at hand, this comparison thing is killing me. I am going to try again and stop it because it is so destructive. Because this issue started for me so long ago maybe I need professional help. It just make’s me tired! I am never good enough, and in my own mind I may never be. Maybe I should just give up and be a looser. It would be allot easier and then I could get some rest. Thanks for being a friend. This is a topic very close to my heart. I have remember compareing my self to others way, way back. I am talking childhood. I wasn’t that good looking crooked teeth, (my parents either did not realize that I need braces or did not have the money. I had them put on-myself when I was in my late 30’s) there were other physical features that “I thought” made me look funny also. And of course it was no help that it was supported by the outside world. All the girls were always attracted to my friends and never to me. Even when I was older and at the beach with my two friends, a girl and her mate called me ugly! Wow, so you can see that it has been with me along time. As I grew older I started to use money and “people pleasing” to show that I was as good as anyone else. Well I got married and was still very competitive with my friends. As mentioned in an earlier post, I compare my self on everything, looks, money, size, career, etc, etc,etc, I am close to fifty years old, I have been unemployed over 12 times during my career, have been on welfare twice, lost the 2 homes in my adult life because of job loses. Ok, I am not looking for pity I just sometimes wonder if this is my lot in life and that Almighty GOD will have something better for me on the other side. I know for a fact that I have not always made the best decisions but dam, sometime you think when can I get a break, Sorry for rambling. Back to the topic at hand, this comparison thing is killing me. I am going to try again and stop it because it is so destructive. Because this issue started for me so long ago maybe I need professional help. It just make’s me tired! I am never good enough, and in my own mind I may never be. Maybe I should just give up and be a looser. It would be allot easier and then I could get some rest. Thanks for being a friend.

]]> By: Joe http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-7461 Joe Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:06:02 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-7461 Great post!! I desperately need help. I lost my job a month before my wedding last year. I had been there for almost 5 years and was gone with less than 24 hours notice. Anyway I hated what I did and what the job was doing to my personal life. Four months after my wedding, I finally found another employment opportunity. From a financial perspective the opportunity is where I wanted to be if not better, but in terms of career progression, it is not what I had imagined. My biggest problem is that I constantly compare myself to everyone, specifically people close to me (Brother, friends, co-workers and more importantly people I use to work with as we all chose the same career path). This constant comparison with others makes me feel very dejected. I feel like I have no motivation and in need of desperate help. It's gotten to a point where my marriage is being negatively impacted due to my lack of self esteem and built up frustration. Great post!! I desperately need help. I lost my job a month before my wedding last year. I had been there for almost 5 years and was gone with less than 24 hours notice. Anyway I hated what I did and what the job was doing to my personal life. Four months after my wedding, I finally found another employment opportunity. From a financial perspective the opportunity is where I wanted to be if not better, but in terms of career progression, it is not what I had imagined. My biggest problem is that I constantly compare myself to everyone, specifically people close to me (Brother, friends, co-workers and more importantly people I use to work with as we all chose the same career path). This constant comparison with others makes me feel very dejected. I feel like I have no motivation and in need of desperate help. It’s gotten to a point where my marriage is being negatively impacted due to my lack of self esteem and built up frustration.

]]> By: Ellen http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-7012 Ellen Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:24:03 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-7012 good post. I just suffered from comparing myself to my boyfriend's ex the whole day. I couldn't sleep. Once I lie down and close my eyes, I start having all these negative thoughts and analysing everything good he's said about her. This makes me feel extremely bad and not confident at all. I hate the insecurity inside of me. I don't want to ruin my relationship because of this. I really need to stop. It feels much much better when I am not comparing. good post. I just suffered from comparing myself to my boyfriend’s ex the whole day. I couldn’t sleep. Once I lie down and close my eyes, I start having all these negative thoughts and analysing everything good he’s said about her. This makes me feel extremely bad and not confident at all. I hate the insecurity inside of me. I don’t want to ruin my relationship because of this. I really need to stop. It feels much much better when I am not comparing.

]]> By: Link Medley Personal Growth - Forty Plus Two http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-2138 Link Medley Personal Growth - Forty Plus Two Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:36:47 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-2138 [...] My Super-Charged Life posts about how to Avoid The Pitfall Of Comparing Yourself To Others. [...] [...] My Super-Charged Life posts about how to Avoid The Pitfall Of Comparing Yourself To Others. [...]

]]> By: fathersez http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-2116 fathersez Sat, 20 Sep 2008 20:33:59 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-2116 Sometimes it may be good to compare. Look to the people of places like Mali and Darfur and be grateful for what we got. I do this when it comes to material issues. On spiritual issues, I compare against the more knowledgeable ones. Sometimes it may be good to compare. Look to the people of places like Mali and Darfur and be grateful for what we got. I do this when it comes to material issues.

On spiritual issues, I compare against the more knowledgeable ones.

]]> By: Weekly Roundup: Part One | Frugal Dad http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/comment-page-1/#comment-2081 Weekly Roundup: Part One | Frugal Dad Sat, 13 Sep 2008 13:13:54 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comment-2081 [...] Avoid the Pitfall of Comparing Yourself to Others.  I spent a lot of energy (and money) in my younger days trying to keep up with others who were older, more wealthy, and further along in life than I was.  Ultimately, it only set me back further, and it wasn’t until I quit comparing myself to others that I finally gained control of my finances. (@My Super-Charged Life) [...] [...] Avoid the Pitfall of Comparing Yourself to Others.  I spent a lot of energy (and money) in my younger days trying to keep up with others who were older, more wealthy, and further along in life than I was.  Ultimately, it only set me back further, and it wasn’t until I quit comparing myself to others that I finally gained control of my finances. (@My Super-Charged Life) [...]

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