Be a Giver: Help Others & Improve Your Relationships

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• Tags: charity, donation, giving, Marriage

This is a guest post by Dustin at Engaged Marriage.

“It is better to give than to receive.” Have you heard that one before? Of course you have.

This is timeless Biblical advice that is both powerful and, more importantly, very true. If you have had the opportunity to truly bless another with your time, talent or treasure, you know first-hand how incredible it feels to make a difference.

It is easy to see how the act of giving helps others. Those who are less fortunate benefit directly from the generosity of charitable folks, and society in general is made better when the “haves” provide assistance to the “have not’s” through their own free will.

What’s In It For Me?

In an ideal world, acts of charity would be performed freely and without the need for incentive. However, we do not live in Utopia and pure altruism is not the sole motivation for most charitable works. And the great thing is, there’s nothing wrong with that!

If you honestly assess why you give, you will probably recognize numerous personal benefits from your efforts. There is a sense of pride and self-fulfillment that accompanies a charitable act.

If you do something particularly generous, there could be substantial notoriety and even a degree of fame. Being known as “A Giver” is practically a universal badge of honor.

And, of course, there are the fabulous tax breaks! These are noble, worthwhile reasons to give, and there is no shame in acknowledging that you benefit from your generosity. After all, there is this old saying that goes “It is better to give than…”, well you get the point.

But Wait, Your Relationships Benefit, Too!

As someone who writes regularly about life and how it relates to marriage, relationships and parenthood over at Engaged Marriage, I submit that giving has even deeper and wider-ranging impacts. As you become a giver, you change the lives of not only the recipients of your charity, but (often much more subtly) the lives of those closest to you. Let’s take a moment to think about a few important relationships you may share.

• Marriage. I can tell you from first-hand experience that being married to a loving, giving person adds immeasurable quality to my own life. Those who achieve the extraordinary in their marriage are invariably selfless, generous and willing to put the best interest of others before their own. A self-centered, greedy spirit will never result in a successful marriage. If you want to be a respected and supportive spouse, you must develop the heart of a giver.

• Parenting. There is probably no relationship that more fully requires a charitable spirit than that of being a Mom or Dad. As good parents, we give up many things for the welfare of our children. We give up money, lots of time and sometimes a bit of our own sanity. However, if you have kids, you already know that what you give up to be a parent is repaid to you in multiples. This is likely the easiest relationship to recognize the real benefits of living with a giving spirit.

• Friendship. What characteristics do you most desire in a close friend? I bet you would look for someone who is trustworthy and shares common interests. But don’t you also, whether you realize it consciously or not, most enjoy associating with those who give freely of their time and are available to lend a hand or an ear when you are in need? Givers make the best friends.

• Career. There is a reason that many organizations require, or strongly encourage, their employees to give a small portion of their paycheck to a charity (such as the United Way). When you can see beyond your own self-interest and view the big picture in life, you are better able to serve others, including your clients and customers.

• Spiritual Life. Of course, the opening phrase to this post was taken from a Bible verse. The idea that giving is important for the good of others, the good of yourself and even the good of your soul is a common thread among all major religions. God even provides a suggestion for a worthy giving goal: 10%. The word “tithe” literally means “a tenth,” and it is still the benchmark for most that give advice on such matters, whether they have religious overtones or not. In my opinion, we are not asked by God to be givers solely for the benefit of others or to support our religious institutions. He asks us to trust and give our of “first-fruits” because he wants us to be givers first and see the world through unselfish eyes.

How Can I Get In On This?

The best way to realize the sometimes ambiguous benefits that giving brings to your relationships is by actually giving it the ole college try. So how do you become “A Giver”? You give. And you give generously. And you do it from your heart.

An excellent place to start would be to contribute to the Make-A-Wish Foundation fundraiser underway right here at My Super-Charged Life.  You might even win a free iPod nano!

Any small gift of charity is a worthwhile endeavor that will change you for the better. You do not need to be wealthy to be a great giver. In fact, money doesn’t even have to be involved. Remember, the tenets of true charitable works consist of time, talent and/or treasure. And the greatest part is that the best works of charity begin right at home.

Spend some quality time with your spouse, give your children the gift of a strong example, and live your life with an ever-present intent to help those you encounter. Tax breaks are great, but harnessing your own ability to impact and change the lives of others for the better is simply awesome. It really is better to give than to receive.

Dustin Riechmann created the Engaged Marriage site with the mission to help good people achieve the extraordinary in their marriage and their life. Please read a bit more about Engaged Marriage and see what it may have to offer you. You can also chime in on the conversation by visiting Engaged Marriage on Facebook.

Photo by Hamed Saber