Comments on: Family Member Loan: Three Reasons I Would Reconsider

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Las Vegas shopping-best.com/vegas.html — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 13:34:01 +0000

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By: hitotito

hitotito — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 02:24:42 +0000

Completely agree with this article. I lent money to my brother. I was supposed to be paid back in full within days, turned into years and yet to see a single dime.

In my case, it started out small, but as he got into more money troubles, he came back for more. Obviously my mistake. Last time he came to me, I told him that this was the last penny that he will borrow from me.

Our relationship is still OK, although I know that he is feeling some pressure when I see him. Also, I see my own attitude changing towards him. I am starting to become very critical of his decisions, although I keep it to myself. When his decisions does not agree with mine, I often feel the necessity to express my view due to my monetary tie, although it is his life.

Just don’t lend my to your family member. There are other ways to support them if necessary.

By: What???

What??? — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 13:43:52 +0000

A gift, are you serious! If you don’t have money and someone else has to give it to you for whatever reason, you are obligated to pay it back. Do you think because it’s your mother or father or any other family member for the matter that you are entitled to the funds that they have worked hard to save? If you’re paying back high interest debt than you already spent the money, you’ve obtained the goods. Now you feel that someone else should pay that back for you? Don’t ask for, or don’t accept money from anyone (family, friends, BANKS, CREDIT CARD COMPANIES, etc.) if you don’t fully intend to pay the money back. Live life in the 500 credit score range, you’ll be humbled and realize the importance of paying back your debt.

According to Merriam-Webster online:

Loan: 1. money lent at interest b : something lent usually for the borrower’s temporary use

Entitlement: 3. belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

Either you don’t understand the English language very well or you’re a very selfish person.

– Shocked

By: Jeff

Jeff — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 16:50:54 +0000

Darwin – Obviously, I think loans between family members is a bad idea for the very reason that you are experiencing right now. It is difficult to deal with especially when things don’t go as planned because too many complications are involved. However, once you are in this situation, I think you have to deal with the situation head on. Of course, you have to be diplomatic about it, but still have the conversation. As far as letting other family members know, I think you have to be careful. It depends on their perspective. You might want to feel out the situation with other family members before you go ratting out someone they may feel close to. It could cause you further trouble. Bottom line, you are in a sticky situation with very few really good options.

By: Darwin

Darwin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:12:58 +0000

I have lent money to a family member. While I thought I will get it back, obviously it has been months now. (Sure I got the random phone call saying that I will give you the money), but as much you have seen them so do I.

I really think it is a mistake to loan. (expensive lesson) The thing is that I have to warn the rest of the family as I think they have been scammed too from the same (innocently looking) member.

Suggestions?

By: Jeff

Jeff — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 14:46:37 +0000

Robert – I’m really sorry to hear about this situation. It is definitely a tough one. I don’t think you are wrong to be upset. However, I do think you need to forgive because holding on to it will only hurt you and your marriage. I understand this won’t be easy because of the sum of money involved, but it is something you have to do. Forgiving doesn’t mean letting the son off the hook. It just means that you let go of your bitterness about it. Otherwise, this will be a cancer that will cause more trouble. Don’t let it have that kind of power in your life.

You just paid the high tuition the school of life sometimes charges. Chalk it up to experience and go on. Hopefully, your wife has learned a big lesson from it and will not “loan” her son anymore money. I wish you the best!

By: Robert

Robert — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:29:59 +0000

Don’t loan family members money, don’t do it.
My wife “loaned” her son a large, large sum of money to purchase a home. He and his wife walked away from the home after they ran the property into the ground. They obviously couldn’t afford it. Now, after one year, she hasn’t seen as much as one dime. What kind of person would do that to their mother. I don’t wish to have anything to do with him or her. Am I wrong?

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 00:57:18 +0000

I 100% agree with you. Make it a gift, and be absolutely clear if it will be the one and only gift you ever give them in terms of money. .-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Simple Sunday Recipe: Cranberry Cheese Melt =-.

By: Bobbi

Bobbi — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 01:15:40 +0000

My sister and I have loaned between us and we have ALWAYS gotten a loan agreement. We have never had any kind of awkwardness or regrets and it has always been paid off.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:46:28 +0000

Noel – Glad to hear from you in Australia!

Agreed. Only co-sign if you are ready to make the payment yourself without owning the associated asset. Of course, I don’t do debt so I would never co-sign anyway. Hopefully, none of you will either!