Fathers – Your Daughter Is In Trouble And Needs You!
Fathers, do you want your daughter to have a happy and successful life?
Of course you do! We all want our children to grow up and enjoy life.
We want them to be well-adjusted, productive citizens with happy marriages and great families. Right?
Well, if this is what you want for your daughter, then you better get busy. Your daughter is in trouble and needs you now more than ever.
She needs a loving and committed father more than anything else in this world!
Our daughters are at-risk and under attack!
Daughters are under attack in our society. They are bombarded every day with stuff we don’t want them to see or hear.
Our culture via television, magazines, web sites and advertising persuade young women to think that it is cool to be promiscuous and sexy. From a very young age, it sells them clothes that are too revealing and designed to sell their bodies.
It teaches them they need to be wafer thin and perfectly shaped to be attractive. Media ads sell them diets, plastic surgery and other procedures as a way to achieve this unrealistic, Barbie-like look.
Our society tells our daughters that there is a drug (prescription or otherwise) to treat every malady in life. It makes the use of alcohol look cool and chic.
All this is a recipe for depression, sexually transmitted diseases, eating disorders, failed relationships, teen pregnancy, drug addictions and alcohol abuse.
Doubt me? Think I’m over-exaggerating?
I don’t think so. Look at the world through your daughter’s eyes. Watch the television programs she watches. Observe what the girls in the programs are wearing, saying and doing.
Open your eyes and ears to really see and hear. Try to look at the world through the innocent eyes of a young girl. Trust me, we have grown desensitized to it all.
She can’t even pass through the checkout stand at the grocery store without seeing Cosmo, Vogue and Allure selling her sex, fashion and diets. Check it out for yourself to see if I’m crazy.
Think back to when you grew up. Was television so violent and provocative? Were you exposed to such steamy sex scenes and so much nudity? I don’t think so.
Did you have the Internet with such easy access to all kinds of stuff we do not want our daughters exposed to? No way! Take just a moment to consider what is available to her with just a few keystrokes. Frightening! It sends chills down my spine!
Where does all this negative influence lead our daughters?
What affect is all of this having on the minds and attitudes of our young, impressionable daughters?
Reflect on all the young, pretty girls you’ve seen or known that do things you wouldn’t want your daughter to do. They wear revealing clothing, get boob jobs, move in with their boyfriends, go out drinking regularly, get tattoos, get pregnant, drop out of school or worse.
What you don’t know is that many of these same young women are depressed, some even suicidal, using drugs, being treated for STDs, struggling with eating disorders and fighting desperate loneliness.
Every last one of them is someone’s daughter. Their fathers never believed it would happen to their daughter either. It can and does!
Still don’t believe me? Want more proof?
The book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
She has personally treated and counseled countless girls that have suffered the consequences I have written about here.
She believes that fathers are the most important person in a young girl’s life. We stand in the unique position of being able to save our daughters from many of the ills of society.
Dr. Meeker doesn’t just rely on her 20 years of clinical experience when she says this, she also cites numerous studies with data supporting her claims.
Her book is terrific and I believe one of the most important ones I have ever read!
What can we fathers do to save our daughters?
I have two daughters and I definitely want to love them as well as I can. I want them to know they have a father that is there for them and is committed to their best interests.
I want to be present in their lives to protect, guide and encourage them in all they do. I want them to know that I believe in them. I want them to know I have high expectations for them and that they can depend on me now and forever.
A large part of what we can do as fathers is to just be present. Be involved. Hang in there and remain your daughter’s father despite her moods, rebellion and resistance.
Dr. Meeker believes this will make a difference. She thinks we let go too soon.
Tomorrow, I will share a list of the things I plan to do based on the suggestions I read in Dr. Meeker’s book.
WOMEN - What do you think? From your experience, is this article on track?
MEN – What do you think? Are you doing enough to protect your daughters?
Photo by lemonhead1632
I look forward to your post tomorrow. I don’t need the proof. I couldn’t agree with you more. I have an almost-3-year-old daughter and my hubby and I are committed to raising a woman of integrity who knows she has worth and value – tough to come by these days.
Boys need us to and believe it or not daughters need moms too. We all have something of value to give and believe me we all need each other.
Good post in that it gives insight as to what families are up against.
Companies that sell alcohol have huge advertising budgets that are directed at everyone. Same for other industries.
I have 2 daughters 25 & 27 and 2 boys 13 & 23. My 2 daughters are married and productive citizens. My youngest son is ok so far but my oldest son has had nothing but issues brought on by outside influences that we and him struggle against.
This is a huge subject and one that needs to be addressed badly. We have left our family secrets in the closet to long and it’s time to let them out.
Thanks for a great subject !
Read Scott´s latest article – Developing Objectives for a Social Media Strategy Part 2
@Nicki – Great to hear that you plan to parent your daughter! It seems that many people simply let them grow up with little to no real guidance. All children need boundaries and direction to succeed.
@Scott – I agree that boys and girls need both of their parents. I’ve just focused this article on the special issues surrounding daughters and the opportunity fathers have to play a vital role in their lives.
According to Dr. Meeker’s book, and the many studies she cites, fathers have an especially important impact on determining how their daughter behaves as she grows up.
I hope this article helps to bring some needed attention to these issues for the sake of the many young women out there struggling.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
Jeff, it’s alarming just how many parents haven’t considered the meaning of the Sexualization of Children in our society, and the harmful effects this has on girls and boys.
I’ve found that there seems to be more focus on sexualizing girls than boys, but there are sexualized clothes and other products that are targeting boys too.
What some parents think is “cute” for their kids to wear these days is quite scary. And then people wonder why girls especially grow up to be teens and young women dressed in very skimpy clothes.
Girls, women, boys and men need to ask to ask themselves: What do your clothes say about you? and carefully consider the impact today’s clothes and sexualized images have on our young people today. (thanks for the link!)
@Lin – It is sad to go to the mall and see what young girls are wearing. What is even sadder is that their parents are often right there with them and even helping them pick out their clothes!
Whatever happened to modesty? Young people need guidance. I’m obviously preaching to the choir!
Thanks for your input!
[...] or micro-mini skirts, sequined crop-tops and other hooker-style “fashionable” outfits, and the trouble you’re having with your daughter will be unlike anything you could have [...]
Jeff, I used to be shocked at some of the things that my children would say that they heard other kids talk in school. What’s more disheartening is when responsible parents try to raise kids by restricting tv and inappropriate programs at home and then the children go to school and hear absolute crap there.
It’s sad to see children lose their innocence by the time they’re in even 2nd grade.I wish schools would regulate better, discipline more, and educate children on what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior/talk in school.
The current fashion trends are very scary too. What’s even scarier is when mothers dress like their teenage daughters!
I have a 10 year old and fortunately, I’ve raised her to be a sensible, modest girl who considers performing well in school to be the most important goal of her life.
Read Nithya´s latest article – Love for Learning Begins at Home
A great post. I couldn’t agree more. I could easily get on a tangent but that wouldn’t benefit anyone. Thanks for your post though.
I believe dad is very important in the lives of daughters. The father-daughter relationship shapes the foundation of what she will grow up to desire and expect in her future relationships.
We have 4 girls and a boy. I did not spend as much time as I should have with them when they were very young and am playing catch up now.
In fact my blog was set up as a means of communicating with my kids.
I think you have made a great point. The large companies, and their huge advertising budgets practice what Punny Money termed as “Advertising Terrorism”. Never have truer words been written, I believe.
I look forward to your next post on this.
REgards
Read fathersez´s latest article – MLM – a way out for those wanting to make a change in their lives
I would say I’ve turned out well in spite of my dad, so I’m not really convinced. I personally think that mothers set more examples of what is and is not appropriate behavior.
Read Slinky´s latest article – Roth IRA progress
Jeff, I couldn’t agree more, I have a daughter as well, 10 years old and the media are delivering a message I’d rather she not hear. Good post and a great list on your next post.
JoeTaxpayer´s last blog ..This week’s Best PF Blog reading
It’s important to protect our children from dangerous situations when they are young, but it is not realistic to try to shield them from every possible negative influence.
We can’t be with our children every minute of the day, so we must teach them how to discern between the cultural expectation of superficiality/sexual availability and true quality. As a parent, my job is to prepare my child for adulthood. To me the most important thing to simply be present and supportive of them, and to empower them to scrutinize the status quo and make their own decisions.