Have you accepted certain bad habits as normal behavior?

You can bypass a quagmire of difficulties in your life by steering clear of this one tendency.

We all get sucked into it at one time or another.

We normalize bad habits.

We do this so we can stop feeling guilty for engaging in habits that we know ultimately harm us or others.

A little knowledge can go a long way toward defeating this hidden snare.

How You Normalize Bad Habits

You normalize bad behavior by adjusting your standards.

You accept what you once thought was unacceptable, wrong, mischievous or possibly even hurtful to be normal when it is not.

Perhaps you heard someone say it is okay and so you buy into their logic.

You might think to yourself one or more of the following:

• I was just being a stick in the mud.
• I was too judgmental.
• I need to lighten up.
• I must be getting old.
• I just didn’t understand before.
• I need to be more tolerant.

You start to modify your standard because you are getting some payoff.

In other words, your bad behavior produces some comfort that you desire and don’t want to stop receiving.

It could be physical comfort or the attention of another.  It can be anything.  You just know that if you don’t accept the bad behavior, the nice place you are in right now is going to evaporate.

This motivates you to normalize the behavior.  I mean how comfortable can it be when there is that nagging little guilt in the back of your mind?

Normalizing and accepting the behavior as ordinary eliminates the guilt and frees you to proceed unabated.

Normalizing Is Dangerous

Normalizing a bad habit so it becomes acceptable behavior is dangerous.

Bad habits hold you back.  They inhibit growth.  They are roadblocks.

To overcome a bad habit, you must first be aware that you need to change.  In other words, you have to see the habit as something that is bad.

Once a behavior is normalized in your mind, you no longer think of it as bad.  It is just accepted.  It becomes a part of your everyday life.

No harm.  No foul.  No guilt.

You will continue to repeat your bad habit and defend it to others indefinitely.

You will even become blind to the negative consequences your bad habit produces.

This is dangerous.

It is a downward spiral that won’t end until you hit bottom.

You’ve probably seen this sort of thing in the lives of others.  You think, how can they go on like that?  They seem completely oblivious to the mess all around them.

They have normalized the behavior.  They are blind to it.

What bad behavior have you normalized in your life?  What mess have you become blind to?

The danger is that it could rise up and smack you and you won’t even see it coming.

Some Areas Where We Normalize Bad Behavior

I will warn you right now.  This is where the denial will begin.

Are you brave enough to do an honest self-evaluation?  Can you take the blinders off for a few minutes?  I should probably ask if you are willing to do this.

If so, then here are some common areas where we normalize bad habits:

1.  Personal Finances

How much debt do you owe?  Do you spend more than you earn every month?  What is your net worth?

Do you even know the answers to these questions?

You can make all the excuses you want, but the reality is that you could be doing a better job of managing your money.

Hey, I’m familiar with all the bad habits in this area.  You can even read about how I resisted solid money management for years.

I’m a walking, talking case study for normalizing bad behavior in this important area of life.  But, I turned over a new leaf a few years ago.

If you’ve normalized bad habits related to your personal finances, then take a moment and read about my personal economic recovery.

2.  Home Organization

Is your house overcrowded and full of clutter?  When was the last time you had a garage sale?

We often normalize messy and disorganized surroundings.  However, there is a cost to keeping all that stuff.

I challenge you to find the most extreme neat-freak that you know and have them walk through your house with you.

Ask them to point out places in your home where you could rid yourself of clutter.

Are you a hoarder?  If not, then prove it.

3.  Health and Fitness

Are you overweight?  How often do you exercise?  When was the last time you dared to look at yourself in the mirror – naked?

This has got to be the area where most of us have gone completely blind (by choice).

Over a third of Americans are obese.  That’s one in three!  I didn’t say overweight.  I said obese.

However, we’ve normalized it.  Bad eating is normal.  A sedentary lifestyle is just the way we live.

Being fat is okay.  In fact, it is politically incorrect to even call people fat now.  See how it has been normalized?

The day of reckoning is coming.  Unfortunately, for many, it will be in the emergency room.  Don’t let it be you, get your mind right about fitness.

4.  Job Performance

Are you 100% engaged at work or do you do just enough to get by?  Do you rationalize your bad behavior as payback to your employer?

I know that there are many employers out there that take employees for granted.

But, I can tell you that being disengaged at work hurts you the most.

This is a serious mental hurdle that you need to get over.  If you’ve normalized this behavior, then you need to face it and change your ways.

5.  Relationships

Is there a trail of failed relationships in your past?  Is there dysfunction in your family?  Do you feel truly loved and accepted?

You know the old saying, “It’s not you, it’s me,” right?  Perhaps, it really is you.

Maybe you’ve normalized some behavior that is seriously damaging your relationships.  Or maybe you enable or unknowingly condone bad behavior in those around you.

You may be completely blind to this.

Take some time to look closely at the condition of your connections.  If you see things that are out of whack, you should probably read how to keep a relationship before it is too late.

Normalizing Is Common, But Not Normal

You have to be constantly vigilant in your fight against normalizing bad habits.

Again, it is a very common tendency that I think we are all prone to.

Hopefully, this will wake you up and help you do a little reality check.

Where have you normalized bad behavior in your life?  It is time to face up to it.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Do you want a deeper and more enjoyable life?

I have three simple, yet powerful things you can do to drastically enrich and expand your happiness.

These are things that anyone can do.

Yet most people neglect them.  They fail to understand the power of these three simple things.

Of course, you won’t be one them because you’re reading this!

What You Can Do to Enrich and Expand Your Life

Many people fail to recognize that most of our enjoyment and fulfillment in life comes from the simplest things.

They waste their time chasing money, power and prestige when, in fact, most of our happiness is derived from plain, straightforward strategies.

Concentrating on the right things will enrich your experiences.  It will enlarge your world.  And it will make you happier.

Here are three extremely powerful things you can do to enrich and expand your life:

1.  Focus on the Things That Matter

We live in a busy, noisy world.

We worry incessantly about everything.

We have investigative reporters endlessly uncovering one troublesome matter after another.

Our employers or clients are constantly demanding we do more with less.

We are badgered by guilt, stress and non-stop activity.

Bottom line, our attention is pulled in a million directions and it drains us.

We get confused and chase after hollow things.  ”The packaging may glitter and sparkle, but there’s nothing inside but emptiness,” says Ken Wert at Meant to be Happy.

Ken recently wrote an article I found very insightful called 4 Things That Truly Matter.

When you stop and define what you value, you can then refocus.  You can redirect your time, energy and resources to those key areas where you find meaning, opportunity, love, joy and success.  That’s how to enrich your life.

2.  Slow Down and Savor the Good Times

Again, because we live at a breakneck pace, we fail to really soak up the good times.  They whiz by with barely any acknowledgement.

In addition, we often over-complicate things so much that it is impossible to derive any enjoyment from them.  Take the holidays, for instance, in our desire to make them grand, we bleed all the pleasure right out of them.

“By taking the time to savor both ordinary and extraordinary moments in your life, you will stay rooted to what you truly value: your relationships, your health, your accomplishments, and nature,” says Stephen Borgman.

Stephen reminds us of the value of slowing down and savoring the good times in Here’s a Secret for Living Life Now.

I think we can all learn a great deal from Stephen’s suggestions.

Savoring the good times is grossly under-valued in our culture.  Instead, we like to reward people for busyness.  How backward is that?  A big, rich life comes from savoring the moments.

3.  Appreciate the People that Make It All Worthwhile

“We are social beings, and for us to truly experience life, we have to find ways to reach out to those we love and include them in our lives,” says Bryan Thompson.

I totally agree with Bryan that It’s Time to Thank the People Who Made Your Moments Unforgettable.

When was the last time that you told those you love that you deeply value them?

Heck, when was the last time that you stopped long enough to even think about it?

The people in our lives make all the difference and it goes beyond just our immediate families.  Your friends, co-workers and extended family have a lot to do with the quality of your life.

I encourage you to take a minute to express your feelings for them this week.

You’ll be amazed at how this will enrich and expand your life.

Do These Things Today

Here’s the deal.  For what I’ve said today to make any difference in your life, you have to take action on it.

I want to prod you to act upon these three things.  Incorporate them, in at least some small way, into this day.

When I say this day, I mean today, not tomorrow.  By tomorrow, you will have forgotten all of this unless you see some positive result from it today.

Try these things on for size.  I think you’ll be pleased at the results you get.

Let me know what you think.  I’d love to hear from you!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

You are absolutely a masterpiece.  Everything about you adds up to brilliance.

If you can’t acknowledge this, then you are selling yourself short.

You need to embrace your worth.

Perhaps you haven’t lived up to your full potential yet, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t.

Accepting just how awesome you really are is a great first step toward a more amazing and fulfilling future.

The Truth About You

You are like a treasure that has been hidden in a closet for decades.

You have art in you that no one has had the opportunity to fully appreciate.

You keep it locked up.

I’m here to tell you that it is time to let it out.  The world needs to see what a masterpiece you are.

You are valuable.  You are priceless.

You have a unique combination of talent, emotion and personality that the world, your community and your tribe is waiting for.

Whatever Moves You, Needs You

So, how can you show the world who you really are?

You apply your full set of gifts to whatever moves you.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What is it that I am deeply passionate about?
• What really gets me excited and motivated?
• What is it that am I doing when I totally lose track of time?
• What makes me the happiest?

By the way, if you aren’t sure how to answer these questions, then I’d highly suggest that you check out Discover Your Passion.

Anyway, your genius is most needed where you are most moved.

It is like putting together a puzzle.  Your job is to find the pieces that fit together perfectly and then voila!  A masterpiece is revealed.

Until you apply yourself to the right purpose, your greatest strengths remain hidden.

That’s why it is so important that you find the thing that moves you.  That is where you will shine.

Your masterpiece qualities will finally be unveiled.

Assessing Your Value as a Masterpiece

It is often said that masterpieces are priceless.  They are so valued and beneficial that they surpass what money can buy.

Why is that?

What makes a masterpiece (like you) so valuable?

Here are a few reasons that masterpieces are treasured:

1.  Inspiration

The world desperately needs inspiration.  Living as the masterpiece that you are, you will serve as a role model to others.  You will demonstrate that it can be done.  You will arouse, enliven and provoke others to also seek their purpose.  This alone is priceless.

2.  Vision

A masterpiece expands our vision.  It enlarges our world.  It clarifies reality and boldly pushes us beyond what we believe is possible.  When you invest all your talent in whatever moves you, you will naturally define a vision for others to follow.  A clear and motivating vision is a treasure beyond measure.

3.  Sense of the Infinite

A masterpiece gives us a sense of the infinite possibilities that exist in our world.  What is impossible anyway?  As a masterpiece, you will challenge others to believe the impossible is obtainable.  You will push them beyond the limits of what they believe they can achieve.  You will stretch their idea of what reality can hold.  Expanding the limits of human achievement is a rare and incalculable value to humanity.

4.  Perpetuation

Masterpieces create a legacy that is passed down for ages.  What will you pass along to your children?  As a masterpiece, you will not only give your family, but many others as well, a lasting, priceless heirloom that will be perpetuated for decades and beyond.  You are going to bestow some legacy upon your family.  Why not make it a masterpiece?

5.  Awe

Finally, masterpieces always leave people in awe.  As a masterpiece, you will astound others with your accomplishments and benevolence.  Your life will serve as an example to others.  Your words will be treasured and passed along.  Your life will be revered.  This awe will catapult others to follow in your footsteps creating lasting change.  What a rich contribution you will make!

Live as the Masterpiece You Are

I invite you – no more than that – I implore you to find what moves you because that thing desperately needs you.  It needs your unique combination of talents, personality and insight.  It needs you, the masterpiece, to step forward and unveil all that you are to the world.

Your purpose is calling.  Will you answer?  Will you seek it out?  Will you become the priceless masterpiece we all need?

Don’t keep it hidden any longer.  Let your masterpiece shine!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Are you making this mistake?

Avoiding this one common mistake in life will significantly increase your happiness, fulfillment and success.

Overcoming it will immediately lift some severe restrictions off of what you are able to accomplish.

This defective behavior accounts for why you – at least occasionally – feel unfulfilled, negative and trapped.

Therefore, you want to identify this behavior and correct it as soon as possible.

I’m going to help you do just this.  I’ll tell you what this common mistake is and give you three ways to eliminate it from your life.

The One Mistake You Want to Avoid

I see people making this mistake all the time.

Heck, I’m guilty of it too.

It is extremely common and yet I’d say it accounts for the bulk of the dissatisfaction in life that we experience.

What is it?

The mistake I’m speaking about today is: the failure to change.

It seems that we mistakenly believe our lives can run successfully on autopilot.

We just keep trucking along doing the same thing today that we did yesterday.

All the while, we feel unfulfilled and unhappy.

We gripe about it.  We wallow in our dissatisfaction.  We even search the Internet for solutions, but we never actually change.

This is pure craziness I tell you!

Evaluate yourself on this.  Are you perfectly happy and content?

If not, when was the last time that you actually made a significant change in your behavior, circumstances or surroundings?

This one mistake is what you need to fix.

Overcoming Your Failure to Change

You can’t expect your life to improve if you keep doing the same old things, right?

If you want different results, then you have to take different action.

Garbage in.  Garbage out.  It is that simple.

Even a small change in the way you live can produce a meaningful difference.

In fact, I think small changes are the way to go.  Small is not insignificant.  Small is smart.

The reason self-improvement usually fails is that we try to change too much all at once and then end up right back where we started.

I challenge you to pick an area of your life where you aren’t completely satisfied and then make a small, incremental change in that area.

Keep working on it, one little change at a time.  In short order, you will have broken the impasse and you’ll be amazed at how much better things will seem.

You’ll be happier, more fulfilled and excited.  The despair will be gone.

Don’t fear change, embrace it.  Make it a habit.

Here are three ways you can avoid the failure to change:

1.  Be a Doer Instead of a Reader

You are reading a self-improvement blog right now.  You probably have already read some self-improvement books.  Have you actually implemented the strategies recommended in these resources?  Have you done what the books and blogs tell you to do?

It is time to become a doer instead of just a reader.

I know that I’m guilty of reading a book or blog with lots of great ideas on how to live a better life and then just moving on.  Oh, I’m impressed in the moment, but I don’t really integrate the wisdom into my life.  In other words, I fail to change.

Quality is better than quantity.

It isn’t about the number of books or blogs you read.  It is about the quality of your life.  I challenge you to slow down.

Pick one book or article, read it carefully and try to really incorporate the changes it recommends into your life.  By doing this, you’ll alter your outcomes.  You’ll quite possibly experience an improvement.  Keep doing this and you will overcome the most common mistake of all.

2.  Stop Worrying About Making a Mistake

We often fail to change because we fear that we’ll make a mistake.  In other words, we are afraid that we might make the wrong change and wind up regretting it.

I understand this concern.  However, we can’t let it stop us dead in our tracks.

I’d argue that being stuck in a place of “quiet desperation” is worse than making a mistake.  The negative outcomes that you worry about are quite likely over-inflated.  They are imagined. However, the dissatisfaction you feel is real.  Are you going to let imagined mistakes trump real dissatisfaction?  I hope not.

Life is an experiment.  There is no one recipe for success.  If there was, then we’d have figured it out by now and everyone would be following it.

You’ve got to be willing to take some calculated risks if you want to get out of this slump and on to the life you really desire.  You must be willing to create change.

Stop worrying about things that probably won’t happen and get busy living.

3.  Quit Thinking Your Situation Is Hopeless

Finally, you absolutely have to stop thinking your situation is hopeless.  This is a mental trap, one more reason you fail to change.

You might say, “Jeff, I know my situation isn’t completely hopeless, I just haven’t found the right solution yet.”

How long have you been stuck feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled?

If it has been awhile, then you have bought into hopelessness more than you are willing to admit.  Also, the longer you procrastinate on creating change, the more hopeless you will become.

You need to nip this in the bud.

There is plenty of advice out there for creating the change you want.  You just have to be bold enough to try some of it.  My advice?  Get on with it!

I know that change is scary, but the only way you are going to get out of this rut is by making a change.

Make that leap.  Take that first step.  Rip off the band-aid.

You must defeat hopelessness swiftly and without remorse.  The sooner you do, the better you’ll feel.

Don’t Keep Making the Same Mistake

Stop wallowing in passivity, worry and hopelessness.  I saw a quote on Facebook the other day that said, “Life has no remote.  Get up and change it yourself.”  How appropriate!

The only way your life is going to improve is if you make it happen.

What changes are you going to make?  Why not start today?

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

What to know something that will make a huge difference in your life?

You’ve come to the right place.

I’ve got ten incredibly amazing things that you absolutely, positively need to know to be a success.

If you can understand and adopt these insights, you will grow, succeed and achieve like never before.

They will open up the possibilities and set you on the path to achieving your dreams.

This wisdom will make a phenomenal difference – but only if you apply it.

The Ten Things You Need to Know

An new idea, a new way of seeing things or a new plan can change your life in an instant.

The amazing things in the list below have the power to do just that.  They can revolutionize your life – if you let them.

Here are the ten things you need to know to be a success:

#1 Everything You Want Is Just Outside Your Comfort Zone

We love to remain comfortable.  We adore feeling safe, secure and in control.  Unfortunately, staying where you are won’t produce any new results in your life.  Keep doing what you’ve always done and you are going to keep getting what you’ve always got.  Is that what you want?

I’m sorry to tell you that to create the life you really want, you are going to have to get uncomfortable.  You are going to have to shimmy out to the edge where things are scary and stay there for awhile.  You are going to have to push yourself to change.  Do you want it bad enough?

#2 Now Is Exactly the Right Time for Your Idea

You are a master of procrastination.  You have lots of great ideas.  The trouble is you sit on them and don’t ever do anything with them.  Sound familiar?

There is no better time than right now to act.  The sooner you learn this and believe it down to the very core of your being, the quicker you are going to start seeing things change for the better.  Action is what creates a new reality.  When will you take action?

#3 Be Yourself – You Are Wonderful

Stop trying to be someone else or what someone else wants you to be.  Be yourself.  You are wonderful!  Your unique talents, ideas and personality are what makes you a masterpiece.  Copies are a dime a dozen.  Originals are priceless.

Who cares if people think you are weird or off your rocker?  I’m sure they thought the same of Steve Jobs, Pablo Picasso and Albert Einstein.  As I’ve said before, normal is not all it is cracked up to be.  Do you have the guts to be your self?

#4 If You Do Not Ask, the Answer Will Always Be No

Things change when you ask the hard questions.  Ask for a raise.  Ask for a promotion.  Ask for help.  Ask for whatever it is that you want the most.  When you ask, you have at worst a 50/50 chance of getting a good answer.  If you don’t ask, the answer will almost certainly remain a resounding, “No!”

I don’t know why we are so hesitant to ask.  I’ve been pleasantly surprised over and over again when I ask.  People usually want to give you what you ask for.  Therefore, the more often you ask, the more often you are likely going to win.  Ask.  Ask.  Ask.  I can’t emphasize this one enough.  It is definitely a key to success.

#5 Opposition Is Greatest When You Are Near the Goal Line

There is a reason they call it the RED zone in football.  How you perform in this area of the game ultimately determines whether you win or lose.  The nearer you are to the goal, the harder the opposition is going to fight to keep you from scoring.  They are going to test your mettle.  Therefore, you have to be mentally and physically ready to execute at your very best if you want to succeed.

You need to come to understand that resistance means you are close to winning, not losing.  When your opposition sees you are about to reach the goal, they pick up their intensity.  Too many of us give up and quit at this point.  We surrender and yet, we are so close.  One last push might be all that is needed for the score.  Getting this right in your head is crucial and can mean all the difference in your success.  What will you do in the face of fierce resistance?

# 6 The Best Way to Predict the Future Is to Create It

What would movies be like if film directors simply let things unfold haphazardly on the set?  How would the story ever make sense?  Would the film be a success?  It wouldn’t.  The whole project would be a big mess and would die a quick death on the cutting room floor.  The film would meander and lack a clear purpose or point.

Peter Drucker knew this to be true in life as well.  That’s why he penned the words above.  You can’t just lazily go with the flow in life.  You have to develop a clear vision for the future and then do everything in your power to direct your time, energy and resources toward making that one desire a reality.  Is this how you run your life?

#7 – Promote What You Love Instead of Bashing What You Hate

Choose to be on the positive side in life.  It is always more fruitful to fight for what you are passionate about rather than fighting against what you despise.  A lot of people miss this important distinction and it drains them of true success.

Your life will simply be more satisfying if you live by this axiom and isn’t that a big part of feeling successful?  Your victories will just taste sweeter.  Your progress will mean more and you will have a greater sense of accomplishment.  Have you chosen the right side to fight for?

#8 – Don’t Trade What You Want Most For What You Want Now

There are so many ways we trade tomorrow for today.  Debt.  Lust.  Greed.  Impatience.  Power.  The list could go on and on.  What is it that you really want out of life?  How do you measure success?  I’m here to tell you that you better get a firm grip on your answer.  Otherwise, you will end up in all the wrong places.

Build your life carefully.  Weigh each choice you make against your ultimate goals.  Don’t compromise your integrity or your principles for a quick win.  The shine will wear off that deal before you can get it out the door.  Life can be unforgiving.  A bad trade today may cost you big time tomorrow.  Will you trade away your success?

#9 – Someone Else Is Happy with Less Than What You Have

No matter what your situation is, there is always someone worse off than you.  Learn to be grateful.  Keep your feet on the ground and your head screwed on straight.  There is nothing wrong with wanting more, but at the same time, you need to learn to be happy with what you have.  You need to appreciate how far you’ve come and how much you’ve acquired.  If you don’t appreciate it the way you should, trust me, you won’t have it for very long.

The real kicker is that you never miss what you have more than once it is gone.  Are you aware of what you have?

#10 – The Difference Between Who You ARE and Who You Want To BE…Is What You Do

Your good intentions don’t mean squat.  You will remain who and what you are today until you take specific action to change things.  If you’ve read this far, you’ve gathered a lot of amazing wisdom about how to achieve success in your life.  The question is, “What are you going to do with it?”  Will it make even the slightest difference?  Only if you DO something with it.

How you spend the next hour, the next day, the next year is going to determine your level of success.  Sitting around reading, dreaming and theorizing is okay, but in the end, it is what you DO that counts.  If you are 30 years old, you only have about 2,860 weekends left to live.  If you are older, you have even fewer.  How will you spend this weekend?

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Why are you so hesitant to move forward?

The time is now.  The day is today.  Stop stalling and start living!

I know that first step looks scary, but trust me, it won’t be as bad as you think.

Moving forward, taking that leap, is the only way that you will ever discover what’s on the other side.

If you continue to hesitate, the door of opportunity may suddenly close.  When it does, you’ll kick yourself for stalling.  Don’t let it happen.  Launch into life!

Where Are You Hesitating?

So, what is it for you?

You stand on the edge looking out at some possibility, but you hesitate to step into it.

It makes you nervous.  It makes you uncomfortable.  It scares you (at least a little).

It seems that if you step through this door, there will be no turning back.

Where you are right now isn’t bad.  That makes this all the harder.

It creates just enough apprehension that you are frozen.  You’re stuck.

A part of you wants it, but another part, isn’t quite so sure.

What is it for you?

• Is it a new job?
• Is it making a new commitment?
• Is it striking out on your own?
• Is it moving to a new place?
• Is it ending something that you know is over?
• Is it starting a brand new thing?
• Is it speaking up?
• Is it stepping out?
• Is it creating change?
• Is it unveiling your masterpiece to the world?

What is it?

Sometimes you don’t even want to say it out loud.  It is there in the back of your mind, but you don’t want to acknowledge it because then you’ll have to admit that you are hesitating.

I understand.

However, I love you too much to let you stay stuck.

It Is Time to Stop Hesitating

Stop telling yourself, tomorrow.  It is too risky.

“Tomorrow you promise yourself will be different, yet tomorrow is too often a repetition of today.”

~ James T. McCay

Tomorrow is most likely going to be a repeat of today.

You will just go with the flow.  You will remain hesitant.

That’s risky.

Because the flow isn’t taking you to where you really want to be.

Call it inertia, momentum or a failure to launch.  Call it whatever you like, but the truth is that tomorrow isn’t good enough and you know it.

Tomorrow might be too late.  Windows of opportunity close all the time.  You and I both know this is true.  I’m sure you are as familiar with regret as I am.  Don’t add another regret to the pile!

It is time to stop hesitating and get on with it.

Look around you.  What opportunity are you about to miss?

Today is the day.

Push yourself over the edge and make today the day you stopped hesitating.

It might feel like a free fall at first, but you will come alive for doing it.

Tomorrow might be too late.

Welcome Back to the Land of the Living!

Once you launch, you’ll feel more alive than you’ve felt in a long time.

Think back to a instance where you took a risk and stepped out into the unknown.

Wasn’t it exhilarating?

I know it was a little scary at first, but after you got over the initial shock, didn’t you feel so alive, so energized?

Don’t you want that again?

It is yours for the taking.  All you have to do is launch.

When you do, you’ll wake up into the land of the living.  You’ll come alive again.

Food will taste better.  Colors will be more vivid.  You’ll be happier.

You just have to exert the initial energy it takes to get the ball rolling.  Once you do, look out, because things will start happening.

If you’ve been hesitant for a long while, it might send your system into shock when you first come alive.

It might feel like you just got hit with 10,000 volts of electricity.

Don’t panic.  Just lean into it and enjoy the wind in your hair.  Welcome back to life!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

There is a big life waiting for you out there.

Opportunity abounds if you can free yourself up to pursue it.

Get past a few of the things that have you all tied up and you’ll soon be soaring.

Believe me, you can be your own worst enemy and not even realize it.

The very things you think are protecting you are actually what’s limiting you.  They are robbing you of  your best life.

You May Be Limiting Yourself and Not Know It

Incorrect beliefs limit you.  They also blind you to the truth.

Therefore, you can be limiting yourself and not even recognize it.

So often, it is as if we have bound and gagged ourselves with false beliefs.

If you simply don’t understand why you can’t:

• Find a job
• Get promoted
• Build the life you really want
• Feel satisfied and at peace
• Start or maintain a fulfilling relationship
• Live up to your full potential
• Break your bad habits
• Pursue your dreams
• Be successful at what you already started

It is likely because you are unknowingly limiting yourself in some BIG way.

That’s why I’m writing this today.  I want to help you identify self-limiting beliefs so you can overcome them.

Generally, once they are pointed out, you will be able to maneuver around these obstacles.  Freeing yourself from these shackles is revolutionary.

3 Questions for Self-Diagnosis

In what ways are you limiting yourself?  That’s the $60,000 question, isn’t it?

With a little assistance, I believe you can start to see some of your limiting beliefs.

Are you ready to admit where you might be holding yourself back?  If so, then read on.

Use these questions to do some self-diagnosis and get started freeing yourself up to live a better life.

Question #1 – What do you refuse to do or even consider?

The first place to look for self-limiting beliefs may seem obvious on the surface, but in my experience it is way more rampant than you’d expect.

When people write me asking for help, they often provide a list of things that they won’t do.

“Don’t tell me to…<insert list here> …because I’ve tried all this and it doesn’t work,” is what they say.

They have closed and locked potential doors of opportunity.  They’ve decided to limit their options and usually this list of what they have chosen to eliminate as possibilities is fairly long.

You must be willing to put everything back on the table as an option if you want to live your best life.

Of course, I’m not talking about immoral or unethical things, but everything else.

What things have you ruled out up front as options in your life?  These are likely some of your biggest roadblocks to success.

How would you complete this sentence, “I will never…”  For example, you might say:

• I will never forgive him/her for what they did to me.
• I will never take a job like that.
• I will never love/trust someone like that again.
• I will never go to church.
• I will never be able to get over this.
• I will never try that (again).

Your answer(s) here reveal a place where you are limiting yourself.  What you do with it now is up to you, but I’d suggest you re-evaluate your position.

Question #2 – In what area are you most discouraged?

The area of your life where you are most discouraged is where you need to look for limiting beliefs.

Is it in your career, relationships, health, finances, spiritual life or somewhere else?

Perhaps you just don’t have a lot of hope for the future overall.

Maybe you feel boxed in and trapped by your circumstances.

What do you fear the most in this important area of your life?

In many cases, this fear is what you need to address.  It has you paralyzed.  It is holding you hostage.

The funny thing is that usually these fears are unfounded.

We imagine that if we take action toward what we really want in this area that bad things will happen.  We might get fired, ridiculed, divorced or go broke.  We might fail, go bankrupt, get embarrassed or be rejected.

I think we often fear that if we try and don’t succeed that it will prove our fears to be accurate.

In other words, if you ask for a promotion and don’t get it, then it will confirm the fear that you don’t measure up.  If you give it your best shot and don’t make it, then where does that leave you?

These fears (or false beliefs) leave us dead in our tracks.

I’d suggest writing down the things that are popping into your head right now and exploring them further.

Also, you might want to take a moment to read my thoughts on how to cure your fear to get the most out of life.

Bottom line, there are false beliefs hiding behind your greatest fears in the area of your life where you are most discouraged.

You need to expose and defeat these falsehoods so you can move on.

Question #3 – What labels do you use to describe yourself?

Write down twenty words that you feel best describe who you are or the situation you are in.  Make this list while thinking about a discouraging area of your life.

Once you have all twenty words, you need to challenge every word on it.

I can guarantee you that there are false beliefs in these labels that you’ve been carrying around for a good long while.

For example, maybe someone in the distant past mentioned that everyone in your family is heavyset.  Maybe they didn’t even say this to you, but you heard it.  Therefore, you blindly and unconsciously accepted this as your fate and have resigned yourself to always being overweight.

Maybe someone, once upon a time, said you were shy.  You adopted this word and made it your own.  Now you use it as a crutch so you can avoid social situations even though you know this is significantly limiting your future.

Are you really the things you think you are?  I bet you are a lot more.  You just need to break through these old labels.

It won’t be easy.  It will feel very awkward and uncomfortable at first.  But, you have to understand that comfort is the enemy of personal growth.

Are you willing to see yourself and/or your situation through a new lens?

Circle the words on the list that are holding you back the most (regardless of whether you think they are true or false).

I dare you to press into these labels.  I dare you to challenge yourself in these arenas.  I dare you to prove them false.

New frontiers are just beyond these old labels.

Break Free of the Ties That Bind

If you have taken some time today to do some honest self-evaluation, then I’m willing to bet that you have identified one or more ways that you are limiting yourself.

Knowledge is power, but only if you act upon it.

I mean what good would it do if you went to the doctor and he told you what was wrong and even wrote you a prescription for how to treat it, but then you refused to do what he told you to do?

Obviously, you wouldn’t get any better.  You’d remain sick.

Don’t let that happen here.

It is time to break the ties that are limiting you.  It is time to be free!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

This is a guest post by Mark Swedberg.

If you could have one thing in life, what would it be?

Wealth? Happiness? Love?

This was the question I asked myself after dropping out of college in 2006.

What’s the point of this living thing? It just didn’t add up. Nobody seemed to have an answer and I was tired of being empty and unfulfilled.

No matter what I did or how much I accomplished, I was left dissatisfied with life.

Finally, in a fit of desperation and despair, I made a deal with myself. I would devote my life to understanding satisfaction.

Either I would succeed and gain the one thing in life that always seemed to evade my grasp, or I would reach 30 years old and give up, resigning myself to the laws of other people’s reality.

Since then, I’ve owned a non-profit corporation, hacked my way into a multimillion dollar web venture, been part of a Federal sting operation, traveled across the US and Canada (without spending a dime), studied quantum physics, became a bio-hacker, and performed dozens of other experiments on myself and others.

Can’t Get No Satisfaction? Here Are Some Tips!

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters.”

~ Audrey Hepburn, British actress and humanitarian

Somewhere in-between all of this, I stumbled upon a true and lasting source of happiness. Here’s a few lessons I learned while backpacking my way across the States.

1. Life Is a Journey, Not a Destination

It doesn’t take a 1,000 mile hitchhiking trip to realize that 99% of life is spent trudging through the mud to reach the 1% of ballrooms and banquets. And yet, for some reason, we glorify the champagne and olives-on-a-stick, focus all our attention and energy on reaching those happy occasions, and then spend half the night complaining about the music selection or comparing our costumes to others.

Maybe it’s time to kick off the heels and run barefoot across the hors d’oeuvre table. Hell, drop your dress and take a swim in the fountain. Let’s not lose sight of what life really is: a single moment passing through consciousness. There are no beginnings or ends, just the present path we tread.

2. The End Is in the Means

And what are we to do with this present moment? Well, we can invest it for some later date, stealing from today to provide for tomorrow. But is that really a path you want to take?

What if tomorrow never comes? Even worse, what if it does? Can any accomplishment, no matter how great, make up for all the missed opportunities for joy and happiness it took to get there?

The answer is no! You can never replace a moment of your life. It’s the one natural resource we share equally. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, handsome or ugly, healthy or sick. We’re all stuck with the same moment of consciousness and a choice: what kind of experience should we fill it with?

Stop worrying about tomorrow. Trust your instinct and believe in yourself. Do what you love and let the rest work itself out. Live as if you only had a moment left and make it count.

3. Every Man Is an Island

Ah, I can see your objections already. How can we live for today with bills looming on the 15^th? It’s a legitimate problem, but certainly not something worth ruining your life over.

Here’s the deal, the quality of your life really isn’t determined by what happens on the outside, “out there.” It’s all about your internal environment. After all, it’s the only place you really control.

A lot of people confuse satisfaction for a state, like happiness or contentment. Well it’s not. Satisfaction is a verb, “to act in the most satisfying way every moment.” This action doesn’t have to be external. Maybe you have to go to work. Welcome to reality. But that doesn’t mean you have to hate it, nor does it mean you have to be content with your lot in life.

When the going gets bad, it’s time to make the bad get going. Stop complaining and start growing. You can’t always rely on other people to bail you out. It’s time to build some inner strength and master your emotions.

4. The Both/And Philosophy

Satisfaction is a balancing act. It isn’t enough to live in the present, nor does it work to save for the future. You need to get the best of both worlds.

In 2009, I quit my job, loaded a backpack with a spare change of clothes, and hit the road. I was done with corporate America and desperately in need of change. Life had become dismal, boring, a complete blur.

Twenty-four hours later, I sat in a dew drenched ditch, shivering convulsively and wishing for sleep. Why oh why did I walk into the middle of nowhere only to freeze to death? And that’s when it hit me: life isn’t supposed to be a walk in the park.

It takes planning, resolve, and an indomitable spirit to get through this mire, but it’s worth it in the end. In fact, the dividends for your effort pay off surprisingly fast, but only when you pursue both what you need and what you want.

So find a way to enjoy every moment of life in the most fulfilling way. Once you can do that, the rest is a cinch!

5. There Is No Failure, Only Quitting

Real adventures aren’t pleasant. They’re sweaty, nasty, stinking things that rear their ugly heads with crooked teeth and send swarms of mosquitoes and biting gnats to torment your every waking moment. Big deal. Swat dem flies and move on with life.

Things will always get better as long as you leave the swamp. But that’s the problem with some people. They just stop moving. They get tired and discouraged and sit down for a little rest. Before you know it, they’ve donated half their blood to the local wildlife and have even less energy to move forward.

So don’t stop moving. That’s the point of satisfaction, it’s about constant forward motion, always acting to satisfy the most pressing desire.

6. You CAN Change the World

Because as long as you keep squashing critters and slogging forward, you’re bound to reach dry land (or die of malaria, but let’s not dwell on that). And as any traveler knows, once you’ve beat one swamp, you’ve beat them all (mainly because you know not to go back).

But seriously, life is a journey. So take it one step at a time. Always move in the direction of your deepest desires. Say no to the distractions and bite me’s, the naysayers and dumb-dumb heads. Never give up. Instead, decide to grow stronger. And step-by-squishy-step, you’ll conquer that marsh and leave a trail through the lily pads for the next unfortunate soul who comes along.

Good luck fellow journeymen, and next time buy bug spray!

About the Author

Mark Swedberg is one of those crazy lifestyle experimenters . . . you know, the kind of guy who runs split tests on his dinner date or randomly finds himself in the middle of a Federal sting operation. Keep track of his latest adventures on A Journey’s Tale, or catch his experiments in real time on Facebook.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Are you seeking a breakthrough in your life?

A better life is just around the corner.  All it takes is a little understanding.

Saying yes to change is where you begin.  You see, if you want a big breakthrough, you have to be willing to make BIG changes.

You can’t go on living your life like you always have and expect to wake up tomorrow and receive different results.

Life just doesn’t work that way.

New results flow from new actions.  Therefore, to achieve a breakthrough – change is required.

A Key Area for Change and Breakthroughs

One of the key areas where we need to change is in how we handle our relationships.

So much of our success or failure in life is derived from our relationships.

Think about it.  To feel successful, you need to know that you are loved and valued. Also, it takes others working with you to achieve your biggest goals.

No man or woman is truly an island.

Much of our satisfaction in life relates directly back to the quality of our relationships.

Therefore, if you are seeking a breakthrough in your life, closely examining the condition of your relationships is paramount.

Coming to a Crossroads

Sometimes our lives can be headed for disaster and we don’t even realize it.  We believe we are doing fine, but then WHAM, we get hit with reality.

That’s what happened to Alex Blackwell.

“In the summer of 2003, when I turned 41, I was separated from my wife, emotionally and psychically, distanced from my children, and alienated from God.  My life was in emotional and spiritual decay.”

~ Alex Blackwell, author of Saying Yes to Change

After 17 years of marriage, Alex’s wife wanted out.  Enough was enough.

Alex had a rough childhood.  His mother was an alcoholic that largely neglected her family.

At the age of six, he developed a pronounced stuttering problem and, due to poor eyesight, had to start wearing glasses.

This made him a target for bullies and playground taunting.

As an adult, Alex was driven to prove his childhood antagonists wrong.

He poured himself into his career and he was successful, in fact, he was an overachiever, but at a cost.

That’s when Alex found himself alone and no longer able to deny the reality of his situation.

He was at a crossroads.

Alex could let this destroy him or he could say yes to change.

Saying Yes to Change

Alex was imprisoned by his past.  He’d closed his heart off to those he needed the most.  This was holding him back from enjoying what he had.

“My fears were holding me captive. I was terrified to let go and relinquish my need to be perfect in everything I did. My pursuit of perfection kept me from seeing what was right in front of me – waiting there, perfectly for me.”

~ Alex Blackwell, author of Saying Yes to Change

Alex summoned the courage and faced his demons.  Along the way, he learned some valuable lessons.

For example, Alex learned the importance of relationships.  In his words:

“I learned if my heart was going to connect with the hearts of others, I had to be the one to connect it. I learned it was up to me to create the life I want.”

~ Alex Blackwell, author of Saying Yes to Change

Just like Alex, you have a choice.  You stand at a crossroads.

You can continue on the path you are on, and if you are truly happy, then by all means proceed.

But, perhaps, you fit one of these situations:

• You never feel quite fulfilled and you know there just has to be more to life.
• You’ve experienced a devastating blow like Alex and need to put the pieces of your life back together.
• You are suffering with pain from a troubled past and desire freedom.
• You know your relationships aren’t what they should be and you want to change.

If you can identify with any of the circumstances above, in the slightest way, then I’d highly encourage you to read Alex’s new book.

In Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change, Alex walks us through his journey.  He explains how he confronts the pain from his past and learns to move beyond it to enjoy what the present moment offers.

Through this process Alex was able to restore his marriage and reclaim his family.

That’s powerful!

Here are the lessons that Alex talks about in the book:

• LESSON 1: PREPARE YOUR SOUL FOR CHANGE
• LESSON 2: FIND FREEDOM FROM PAIN
• LESSON 3: LISTEN TO YOUR INNER PHILOSOPHER
• LESSON 4: RECOGNIZE YOUR BEAUTY
• LESSON 5: LEARN TO L IVE WITHOUT ASTERISKS
• LESSON 6: BE INSPIRED BY LOVE
• LESSON 7: LIVE BEYOND YOUR SKIN
• LESSON 8: FIND THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF FAILURE
• LESSON 9: TAKE DOWN THE WHITE FLAG
• LESSON 10: LET FAITH BE YOUR GUIDE

I’ve been reading a copy of the book that Alex sent me and I can tell you that it is absolutely awesome!  I’d highly recommend it.

Breakthrough to Your New Life

Even if you don’t think this book applies to you, it does.  Trust me, you’ll learn a lot about how to improve your relationships and overcome some hidden demons in your own life by reading Alex’s book.

If you think I’m just saying all this because it benefits me in some way, you’re wrong.  I don’t make a dime if you buy Alex’s book.  I’m simply sharing a terrific resource that I know can make a difference in people’s lives.

It made a big difference in Alex’s:

“I’m certain the lessons I have learned up until now, and the ones I’m still learning, are ones that will continue to make a difference in my life and my family’s life.”

~ Alex Blackwell, author of Saying Yes to Change

If you need a breakthrough, then take a look at this book.  Read through the lessons that Alex learned and discover how to say yes to change!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Where do you see yourself a year from now?

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become,” said James Allen author of the success classic As a Man Thinketh.

Every accomplishment begins in the mind.  Therefore, what you see is truly what you get.

Whether you hit your target or not is largely dependent on how clearly you see it.

So I ask you, “How vivid is your vision for where you want to be one year from now?”

Getting What You Want

“It is very dangerous to go into eternity with possibilities which one has oneself prevented from becoming realities. A possibility is a hint from God. One must follow it.”

~ Sören Kierkegaard

Before I talk about getting what you want out of life, I feel it is important to address a related matter to avoid confusion.

Specifically, I want to share my thoughts on the Law of Attraction.

I have seen many write about the Law of Attraction.  In its simplest form, this law states that you attract into your life whatever you constantly think about (a key reason I believe in positive thinking, by the way).

Another way to say it is, that your dominant thoughts or your vision for the future will become your reality.  I agree with this simple, unadulterated version of the Law of Attraction.

However, some have gone on to espouse that by simply focusing one’s mind that you activate cosmic forces that will manifest what you desire without you really having to do anything.

I don’t buy this expanded version.

Even prayer generally requires a step of faith before it is answered.

As Kierkegaard says above, one must follow a possibility before it becomes a reality.

Focusing your mind on a distinct and vivid goal is extremely important.  I don’t want to take away from that.

However, one must go further.  If you want to achieve what you most desire, you must define and execute specific, intentional actions towards your goal.

Otherwise, you are simply practicing wishful thinking.

Some will no doubt disagree with me.  They will even provide examples of how once they focused their minds on a particular goal that miraculously things started to happen for them without an ounce of effort on their part.

Here’s my take on their experience.

When you focus your mind on a specific vision for your desired future, you begin to notice opportunities that you would have otherwise missed.

So, what about that chance meeting in the coffee shop?  It was a possibility all along, what made the difference was your action to follow the possibility because you had a clear vision in your head for where you were going.  You recognized the opportunity and took action by asserting yourself toward your goal.

Vision alone won’t get you anywhere, but it is still the place you must begin.

The Importance of Vision

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”

~ Mark Twain

My intent when I started writing today was to emphasize the importance of having a vision for your future.  I feel like I’ve wandered off a little, but that’s okay.  It was an important diversion.

Let me bring us back on track by once again asking, “Where do you want to be one year from now?”

“Wow!  How did they become so successful in such a short time?”  This is what those around you will be asking if you grasp hold of what I’m saying here today.

In 52 weeks, you can make a major difference in your life and it all starts with vision.

You are going to spend your time and energy doing something, what will it be?  That’s the answer your vision provides.

Here are four reasons that vision is so incredibly important:

Reason #1 – Life Is Boring Without Vision

“Dissatisfaction and discouragement are not caused by the absence of things but the absence of vision.”

~ Anonymous

Are you bored, disengaged and disillusioned with life?  If so, it is likely because you lack vision.  You haven’t spent the time and energy needed to define your future.  You are wasting your time and your life.  It is slipping past you, one dull moment at a time.

I challenge you to formulate a vision for where you really want to be a year from now.  I promise you that having a clear and vivid vision for your future will enliven things considerably.  It will energize you.  It will inspire you.  It will drive you.  Ignite your passion to super-charge your life!

Reason #2 –  Vision Provides Purpose

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”

~ Rosabeth Moss Kanter

You are capable of so much more.  A clear and concise vision provides purpose.  Suddenly all that confusion and procrastination will dissipate.  Your path will become clear.  You will march with intent.

You will rise up and become the person that your vision demands you become.  Plant the seed and watch it grow.

I guarantee you that a year from now, you will be amazed at what you’ve accomplished.

Reason #3 – Vision Guides Action

“You’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.”

~ Alvin Toffler

I believe you accomplish big things one small task at a time.  Every day ask yourself, “What one thing can I do today to move myself one step closer to my vision?”  Is there a conversation you can have?  Is there a book you can read?  Is there a job to be done?  Your vision will guide your action and drive you to the bullseye.

How do you get to the top of the Eiffel Tower?  Elevators aside, you get there one step at a time.  Each time you put one foot in front of the other, you get a little closer to your goal.  Of course, if you didn’t clearly understand your mission is to get to the top, you might stay stuck forever going back and forth, up and down between two floors in the middle.  Vision guides your actions.

Reason #4 – Vision Leads to Outcomes

“So many of our dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable.”  

~ Christopher Reeve

Ultimately, vision bubbles up to results.  As you apply action toward your vision, your mind will shift in how it sees the possibilities.  Eventually, you’ll become aware that reaching your goal is inevitable.  You just have to follow-through.  Victory will be yours!

Get your sights focused on the target and you will significantly improve your outcomes.  Your life will blossom.  You will thrive like never before.

Define Your Vision Now

Have you struggled with creating a clear vision for your life?

Do you really know where you want to be a year from now?

This isn’t something that gets taught to us in school.  Therefore, you may need a little help figuring it out.  That’s nothing to be ashamed of.

If you need help envisioning your ideal future, then try this:

• Discover Your Passion, a strategic approach for creating the life of your dreams

Get a vision for your life and exciting things will happen!

It all starts with vision.  What do you see?  Remember, what you see is what you get.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com