Five Happiness Myths That Leave Us Feeling Unfulfilled
Is one of these myths ransacking your happiness?
We believe a lot of erroneous things about happiness. These happiness myths cost us a great deal in terms of enjoyment and fulfillment in life. They send us off on wild goose chases seeking a better life in all the wrong places.
Fortunately, as with most myths, once they’ve been debunked, they lose their power over our lives. Furthermore, once we are exposed to the truth, we can embrace new beliefs about happiness and experience all that we’ve been missing.
Five common happiness myths debunked!
I have compiled what I believe are five very common falsehoods we often believe about happiness. I hope that by exposing these I can help you debunk the way these myths rob you of happiness in your day-to-day life.
By the way, I have bought into all of these at one time or another in my life so I know firsthand how they destroy our happiness.
Myth #1 – You are either happy or you’re not and that’s that.
Some believe that you are either born happy or you’re not and while it is true that as much as 50% of our happiness level is determined by our set point, research reveals that ample opportunity exists for us to affect our happiness through some effort. It is important that we take personal responsibility for our own happiness and educate ourselves on ways to make ourselves happier. Increasing happiness is possible and it’s not that hard.
Myth #2 – Happiness is a feeling that mysteriously comes and goes
Happiness can sway with our emotions, but again we have a significant level of influence in this process if we choose to exercise it. Our happiness level really isn’t as mysterious as it may seem. Scientists have compiled ample research to show that by engaging in intentional happiness activities, we can lastingly elevate our happiness level.
Myth #3 – Happiness should be effortless
Sustained happiness requires conscious effort. Real happiness is not just a result of designing our lives with all the right circumstances either. In fact, researchers have discovered that our circumstances, whether we are rich or poor, married or single, healthy or unhealthy, only determines a small portion of our happiness level. Those that experience happiness without effort just have a higher genetic set point. The rest of us need to exert effort to experience greater happiness.
Myth #4 – I’d be happy if I was rich and didn’t have to work
The way you perceive your life has a lot more to do with your happiness than your actual circumstances. We all know or have heard of rich people that seem exceedingly unhappy (e.g. Paris Hilton, Britney Spears). We also are aware of poor folks that seem incredibly happy (e.g. Mother Teresa). Exercising gratitude for what you have instead of focusing on the negative side of your circumstances can greatly influence your sense of well-being.
Myth #5 – I’d be happy if all these people weren’t irritating me
It is easy to blame other people for our lack of happiness. However, the truth is that most of our happiness lies in our attitude and reaction to what people do around us. If you teach yourself to think differently about these situations, you will stop giving up the power to be happy. Happiness is a choice that we make daily.
Expose the lies and set yourself free to be happy!
Living life to the fullest requires us to acknowledge many miss held beliefs. We have to debunk the myths and find the truth to discover the freedom to be happy.
Letting go of these myths isn’t always easy. In some cases, we’ve been conditioned over many years by our families, society and the popular media to believe these are true. It takes work to turn your thinking around, but I’m finding that it is definitely worth it.
I’ve been working hard lately to overcome these myths and it is paying off! I hope you too are able to see these for the lies that they are and start to experience more happiness every day!
Which of these myths are you most prone to believing?
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I don’t understand why people find it so hard to be happy, and why people keep on trying to measure it. “I’m happy.” “I’m happier.” “I’m the happiest to buzz off” LOL. I mean people can be _just_ happy. Sure they can be happier, but being happy is enough, isn’t it?
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Oh, wow! At one point or another, I’ve been plagued by each of these myths and they’ve seriously impeded on my ability to be happy. However, Myth #3 is definitely the most important one for me. I always believed that happiness should just come to you and if it didn’t, well, that meant you weren’t supposed to be a happy person (Myth #1). Over the last, say, six months I’ve really come to realize that happiness is a choice and it’s not something that comes easily for everyone. For me, happiness is a LOT of work. It requires time and money spent on therapy, hours and hours blogging and keeping up with other great blogs (like this one!), and a huge amount of emotional effort doing my best to stay positive. I love that you’ve addressed these myths today because they are so important and they are likely to impact a lot of people’s happiness. Thanks for an excellent, well-written, and though-provoking post!
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Excellent post! Our culture demands that we be happy (or something is wrong), piles these myths in our backpacks and sends us off on our way, destined to be miserable thanks to the boulders piled on our backs. My favorite is Number #1.
Thanks for the well-written post!
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@Positively – It sounds like you are really putting some effort into your happiness. I applaud you! Most of us buy into these myths to one degree or another during our lives. Keeping your head straight and staying motivated is very important to achieve lasting happiness. Keep up the great work!
@Joelle – There is certainly some guilt involved if you aren’t as happy as you feel like you should be. I’ve also wondered, “What’s wrong with me?” Realizing we all have a set point for happiness and that true feelings of well-being take work, have helped me drop the “boulders”.
Thanks for your great comments! Be happy!
I think this goes hand and hand with idea of contentment. I have reached a point where I can not only be content at where I’m at, it’s brought me to a realization of the dangers of the statement “I’d be happy if…” There can always be another if. I’m learning to be happy where I’m at. Great post.
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Everyone needs to read this list!
And they need to understand it, in that their own happiness and contentment are largely with in their own control.
I think that most of us know on some level that true happiness starts within each of us. It is just easier to point our finger and blame things outside of ourselves for our unhappiness.
Remember, every time you point a finger there are three more on your hand pointing at you! (from Mr.Kennedy in 4th grade)
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If money doesn’t buy happiness, what’s the point of frugality?
You are right, the first step toward true happiness is redefining your perception of what it means to be happy. Many people are unhappy simply because they don’t know how to be happy.
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I agree completely. Happiness is an consciously created state of mind. It all begins with understanding who we really are, and realizing what we want out of life. There is a lot of advise out there, your insights really get to the heart of the issue.
It comes from within. If we are dependent on our external environment, or on the people around us to be happy, we will always be chasing it without ever finding the true path to contentment.
Jeff, these are great! I think you are spot on except for one thing. I’m not sure I would call Mother Theresa happy. I think you need to find another example
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Right on, Jeff! As with many things, the key to happiness is shifting your outlook, concentrating on one small progression at a time, and celebrating your “small wins.”
As small as this sounds, I find that getting regular exercise makes a huge difference in my happiness level. I can feel absolutely, completely miserable and go out for a bike ride, or go to the gym. By the time I’m done, I’ll be tired, relaxed and happy. I also find myself happier when I get a decent amount of sleep – I find myself less happy if I repeatedly get less than 8 hours.
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