How To Build A Strong Bond With Your Children
Do you want a close relationship with your kids?
A strong bond with your children won’t happen automatically. You have to be intentional about developing these deep and meaningful ties.
One of the best ways to foster such closeness in your family is to read aloud to your children. Reading to your kids has multiple benefits not the least of which is the bond it forms between you.
Four strategies for building a strong bond with your children
The time I spend reading to my kids is special. We get to snuggle and enjoy a great story all at the same time. This makes my kids feel safe and loved. The perfect environment for bonding!
Here are some strategies I use to create bonding opportunities:
1. Establish the habit of reading aloud
I read aloud to my kids just before putting them to bed. They expect it. It has become a good habit for us. It is a part of our bedtime routine.
This comforts them and calms them so they are ready to go to sleep when they get in bed. It also gives us the chance to be close to each other just as the day is ending. It is a special time that we all look forward to each night.
2. Make reading aloud to your children a treat
Let your children know that you enjoy reading aloud to them. Express it verbally and non-verbally. Smile while you are reading. Don’t rush things. Take your time and read expressively.
Your children will enjoy it more if they know you enjoy it too. They will come to think of it as a treat. My kids are very disappointed on the rare occasion that we miss reading aloud for some reason. They relish the story and the time to be loved.
3. Encourage others to read to your children
Of course, parents also want their children to form close relationships with others. It is a healthy part of growing up. We all need a broad base of love and emotional support.
Encourage grandparents, teachers and daycare workers to read aloud to your child. This will promote their learning and help them to bond with people besides just their parents.
An encouraging word from you may be just the stimulus a family member needs to grow in their relationship with your child. I see the joy on my kids’ faces whenever one of their grandparents reads aloud to them. It is an awesome sight to behold!
4. Keep reading aloud even once your child can read
I still read aloud to my third grader. She is a terrific reader on her own, but I wouldn’t give up our special time together for anything. I know one day she will probably think she is too old for Daddy to read to her, but for now, I’m going to use this time to bond as deeply as I can with her.
There is no reason to stop reading to your child once they have mastered reading for themselves. In fact, it might be even more important. As children get older you have fewer opportunities to nurture your bond. Don’t relinquish this one too soon!
Sometimes my daughter and I trade off reading a page each out of a chapter book. This gives me the dual opportunity to bond and to praise my daughter for her excellent reading skills. What a bonus!
Read aloud often to build a strong bond with your children
I believe reading aloud to your children on a daily basis is a fantastic way to build a strong bond with them. I place great value on this. The benefits are immense! Give it a try. I think you’ll agree that reading aloud to your child is a great way to invest your time.
How do you bond with your children?
Photo by jaaron
Jeff, this was great! I never ever thought of reading to my daughter after she learned to read, but that is a fantastic idea! She’s 24 and I think it’s too late now
, but maybe I can do this with future grandchildren. Thanks!
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Thank God It’s Today
@Stephen – Thanks! My 9-year old really enjoys it when we read to her. I’ll bet your grandchildren would love it. Pick a book that you enjoyed when you were a kid and read them a chapter a day. Reading to your kids ROCKS!
Thanks for letting me know you liked this!
I love this. I read to my boys for many years after they could read for themselves. I was still reading to my oldest when he was 12 or so. The younger one decided he was “too old” for me to read to him at about 10 or 11. Different personalities. As they began to read for themselves, I found that what they wanted from me was to read books that were above their reading level. They had the ability to understand more complex material than they could comfortably read for themselves. We don’t read aloud any more, but they still read avidly and we talk about what they are reading – now they like to share with me!
Paula´s last blog ..What do you want?
I like the idea of reading very much, and it’s part of our routine too! We are also trying to get the daily devotional (also read aloud) to be part of our daily lives as well. Still working on that one.
Also, before lights out, I take a few minutes to lie down with each child and talk through the day and the following day. It’s a great tradition for our family and bonds me very closely to my kids despite navy deployments and duty.
Dan Smith´s last blog ..Overcoming a Disadvantage
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@Paula – That’s great! Obviously this technique worked well for you. Reading is so important to a child’s success in school and beyond. Reading books above their level to them is a fantastic suggestion!
@Dan – Reading children stories from the Bible is a great way to build their interest and plant seeds for the future. Also, I think your investment in time with your kids will pay off big dividends down the road!
Thanks for adding your thoughts!
I think it’s also really beneficial that your children see you reading for yourself. Sometimes just being camped out on the couch each reading your own book or magazine silently (but together) is a nice bonding time too. And it subtly sets the example that reading isn’t just for kids.
We read to our toddler each night before bedtime and quite often at random other times. Other parents talk about their kids re-watching the same DVDs over and over – our son is that way with books! He has a fistful of favorites and he gravitates to those well-worn books repeatedly.
And by the way, there’s a huge bonding tip – turn off the TV! There’s NOTHING on TV that’s as richly interactive and mentally stimulating on so many subtle levels as time spent with you, the parents, can be.
Rob O.´s last blog ..Can Apple Save Handwriting?
Reading aloud to your children not only builds a bond with you but encourages a love of books, reading, and imagination which will be invaluable to them in the future!