How To Combat Dread And Welcome Adventure Into Our Lives
Are you excited about today?
What was your attitude this morning as you got out of bed about the day that lay before you? Were you expectant or were you dreading something?
Life can either be a chore or an adventure. It is really up to us. We choose how we view our days.
Danger lurks all around us, but one of the sneakiest and deadliest menaces we face is this tendency to start a day dreading it.
How your mind will rob you of all the adventure in life if you let it
It is so incredibly easy to slip into thinking negatively about a day, event or activity. It might be because it is going to be too hot or too cold or too far to travel or with the wrong people or because you have to be away from home or it’s out of your comfort zone or whatever.
A negative thought creeps in and suddenly, before you know it, you are dreading the day. Your expectations for the period are totally twisted and knotted to the point that you become completely apprehensive about the whole thing.
It could be a day at work, a meeting, a trip or even something that is supposed to be fun like a date, a vacation or a holiday. We have an amazing ability to psych ourselves out over the most trivial of details.
This negative thinking and dread is the mass murderer of all the fun and adventure in our life. It silently and efficiently destroys our enjoyment leaving us bound up in fear, boredom and isolation. It is truly a cancer of the mind!
My personal experience dealing with this cancer of the mind
I’ve made the mistake of dreading way too many of my days. I’m not a complete sourpuss, but at times I have fallen into a rut of viewing a lot of things, things that could be seen in a positive light, with dread.
For example, I remember back when I was in the Air Force. I was part of a flight crew that got deployed to various parts of the world. I often dreaded these trips because they took me away from my home and loved ones for extended periods of time.
Obviously, being away was less than optimal, but at the same time I got to travel to places that many people never get to see. I got to experience cultures and happenings that broadened my view of the world. As a result, I know things many others do not.
However, the dread often overshadowed the opportunity in these trips. It hung as a dark cloud over me for days before and even during these trips. It robbed me of some of the enjoyment and adventure that I could have experienced if I wouldn’t have focused so intensely on the negative.
I’m not saying that being away shouldn’t have bothered me, but I should have controlled it instead of letting it control me.
There are also simpler examples in my day-to-day life. For instance, on occasion, my wife suggests we do something like go to the zoo with the kids or take a day trip somewhere. I have to admit that my first thought is sometimes a negative one. I think it will be too much walking or too much time in the car or that I’d rather just stay home and relax.
If I let these thoughts run wild, then they can blossom into full-blown dread. Fortunately, I am learning to squelch these thoughts quickly.
How to overcome dread and embrace the adventure in life
Dread can arise in our work or personal life. It will derail you from living life to the fullest. It is truly a cancer that kills your adventure and enjoyment.
Here’s how I have started combating it:
1. Consciously examine your thoughts and attitudes
I have really become aware lately of the little ways that I start developing a negative attitude toward something. I’ve been listening closely to my speech and my thoughts and I’m amazed at how often subtle forms of negativity have crept into my life. This conscious awareness is the starting point for defeating dread. Recognizing what you are up against is often the first step in beating it.
2. Halt the negative thinking as soon as you recognize it
Whenever you realize that you are starting down a path toward dread, then stop immediately. Squelch the negative thoughts! Shake them off! Sometimes I actually physically shake my head (when I’m alone) to get the negative thoughts out of my mind. Another technique I use to overcome negative thinking is distraction. I divert my mind by reading a positive book or engaging in an absorbing hobby. The point is that you have to immediately stop yourself from continuing down the path to dread.
3. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
I make a list of the positive benefits I’ll gain from what I’m beginning to dread. You can do this in your mind, orally with another person or on paper. For me, it depends on the situation. If I’m alone, then I often just do this mentally. If I’m with someone else like my wife, then I’ll start discussing with her the good things that could result from the activity. If it is something that will occur further out in the future, then I often write down my positive thoughts so I can refer back to them often. Emphasizing positive outcomes in your mind is a powerful antidote.
4. Accept and be open to new experiences
We often control all the adventure right out of our lives. We over plan and over analyze to the point that we drain the fun out of most things. As I start thinking more positively about a situation, I automatically relax and feel more open to the new experience it brings. This openness leaves room for adventure. It makes serendipity or unexpected fortunate discoveries possible! It is truly the path to a full and fun life!
A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.
~ John A. Shedd
These simple steps are all it takes to welcome adventure!
These are truly basic, simple steps that anyone can take. Some might write them off as being too simplistic, but I’ve been using them myself and I can tell you that they work. A positive, expectant attitude is such a better way to live! It opens doors for new adventures and experiences. It frees you from fear and worry. And it will take you places that you would have never gone otherwise!
Have you let dread get the better of you? How will you combat it?
Photo by pjf@cpan
Thank you for writing such an important article! I can absolutely relate. Congratulations on overcoming your sense of dread and sharing that story with us!
Have you ever heard of the expression “getting up on the wrong side of the bed”? There was a time when I would wake up with a sense of anxiety and dread. It was awful. The worst part was my inability to identify the specific reason for these feelings. No matter how well my life was going,
these feelings persisted.
Unconsciously, I learned to move away from this feeling by getting up so quickly that I would not have to notice it was there. The alarm would ring full blast. I would push
the covers away, switch on the bright lights, and hit the shower running. Frantic distractions to bypass the uncomfortable feelings were somewhat successful.
However, a distraction strategy is not the same as waking up
delighted to be alive. One day, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I finally realized that the feeling of dread was not going to vanish with the passage of time. I
wanted to wake up and have the first minutes of my day match the rest of the great life I had created. I wanted to wake up feeling safe, comfortable, and optimistic.
I wrote about what it took to overcome dread in my recent book “Body Redesign”. In short, those steps were similar to the ones you described: Make a decision about what you want to have more of and then engage in a series of creative action steps that support new beliefs and a new unity between mind body and spirit.
It takes persistance to desire to overcome deep inner feelings, but your article proves that it is possible to overcome the oppression within so that we may shine and live a fulfilling life.
With love,
Annette
Dr. Annette Colby´s last blog ..Giving Yourself Permission To Feel Better
@Annette – I appreciate you sharing your insights on this topic! I agree that there is no good reason for a person to go through life dreading a good portion of their days.
As you pointed out, distraction is certainly not a cure. It is merely a tactic to help you along the way as you are retraining your mind to become more positive. Relying on distraction as a long-term strategy will not work as you discovered. Thanks for helping me to clarify this.
It takes a plan and commitment to overcome feelings of dread, but it is 100% worth it!
Thank you so much for lending your expertise to this article!
[...] How to Combat Dread and Welcome Adventure Into Our Lives. This is one I really need to work on. I tend to dread anything out of my routine, rather than looking at these new experiences as “adventures.” (@ My Super-Charged Life) [...]
It only takes one thing to live a life of adventure rather than dread. That is to “live in the moment”. Be conscious of right now ‘cos ‘this is your life’ – not the past and not the future. By being present you feel alive, right here and now, and actually want to experience life, feel it, touch it. Living in the moment isn’t easy. It takes practice but it is definitely worth the effort.
I’m guilty of those niggling little negative thoughts to when someone suggests doing something. Which is silly, because I usually enjoy the activity. Plus the negativity can suck the enjoyment out of it for the person who had the idea. I’m going to work harder at noticing and stopping those kinds of thoughts and comments.
bluntmoney´s last blog ..Anchoring and money
@MoJo – Great advice! Living in the present will certainly go a long way toward defeating dread. Of course, couldn’t you still think negatively of the present moment?
@bluntmoney – Fantastic observation! Those negative thoughts and comments do suck the enjoyment right out of life. I’m glad that you’re joining me in trying to kick this bad habit.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
The thing about negativity is that it’s really subtle and insidious. We often don’t realise we’ve fallen prey to negative thinking until we’re well into it. But these points are helpful.
Julian´s last blog ..Why You Should Never Compromise On What’s Important