How We Judge Success Determines Our Happiness
How do you judge success in your life? What makes you happy?
I’ve been writing a lot lately about money, but the accumulation of wealth can be a false yardstick for success. As we’ve seen in our economy, money comes and goes.
True happiness or joy in life needs to be built on a more solid foundation.
How we judge success really does determine our happiness. Picking the right things will give us a sense of contentment, joy and peace regardless of circumstances.
False measures of success will steal our happiness
Often we get distracted pursuing things that ultimately don’t matter. Yes, it is fun to have nice things, but you can’t let yourself build a life on what is temporary.
Let me expand on this by naming a few of the false measures of success and explaining how they are shaky ground for true happiness.
1. Job, career, business
Work consumes a good portion of our lives. It is therefore very easy for it to become the measure of our success.
It doesn’t matter whether you work for yourself or for someone else, your current situation is subject to change. Look at all the layoffs and business closings that have occurred lately.
If your measure of success is based on your title, earnings or the fact that you own your own business, then you might want to reexamine your life just a bit.
I’ve learned time and again that these situations change in the blink of an eye. No matter how secure you think your work situation is, it can disintegrate without notice.
Men especially seem predisposed to getting a lot of their self-worth from what they do for a living. Yes, work can be satisfying and provide some significance, but we need to be sure it isn’t all we live for.
2. Money
Money cannot buy joy and contentment. It just opens up your options. There are plenty of rich people that are miserable. Happiness is a choice.
Nevertheless, many people want others to think they are rich whether they really are or not. I guess they believe it makes them look successful.
They live over-inflated lifestyles supported by credit cards and other forms of debt. However, contrary to popular belief (and the commercials) the truly priceless moments in life cannot be bought.
Money is fickle. As I mentioned above, it comes and goes. How many times has Donald Trump been broke?
Believing that you will be happy when you make or save more money is a fallacy.
3. Possessions
We often seem to think that we will be happy when we get a bigger house, a nicer car or new furniture.
Yes, these things do sometimes make us giddy for a bit, but once the newness wears off, then we have to buy something else to renew the high.
There will always be something to buy and someone else will always have something a little better or newer or fancier than you.
Most of us eventually realize that while possessions are nice to have, they are not a source of true happiness.
Don’t measure your success by your toys!
4. Social status
I have a harder time relating to this one. My social needs are pretty modest, but I know there are many individuals that measure their success by their number of contacts.
Of course, there are many of life’s circumstances that effect how others feel about us. Public opinion can turn on a dime.
Relationships can change based on marital status, job changes, financial means or a myriad of other factors. Popularity in the eyes of our acquaintances and colleagues can fade quickly.
A better way to judge success and be happy
There is a better way to be happy rather than relying on temporary, external measures of success.
Here are my suggestions:
1. Choose happiness and success
First and foremost, I believe that if you want to be happy and successful, then you have decide to be. You have to make it happen for yourself.
Happiness in life really is a choice. It is all in the way we arrange our thoughts.
What lens are you going to use to see your life through? You get to pick.
Make the best of what is offered to you. Choose to see things in a positive light. Choose to have a good attitude and better things will come your way.
Your life is usually going to measure up to your expectations. Expect less and you’ll get less.
Demand more from life by positively applying the talents and resources you have and you’ll find yourself getting ahead.
2. Focus on the love you give and receive
True success is really about the relationships we build and nurture along the way. Love is what makes life meaningful.
Most often when you read a story about someone with a terminal disease, where to they turn their focus during the last days of their lives?
Let me give you a hint, they generally don’t start working more hours or buy more possessions.
Dying people want to spend quality time with their loved ones. Why wait until your days are numbered to do this?
Start loving more deeply today! Measure your success by the love you give and receive.
3. Give and help those that you can
One of the reasons that I want to be more financially successful is so I can give more. I believe you have to be generous to truly prosper.
The more you give, the more you get in return. Life is just richer and more fulfilling when you donate your time, expertise and money to help others.
Have you ever considered judging your success by how much you are willing to give?
I’m not talking about just charitable giving either. Give your all at work. Don’t be greedy. Do a pro bono job once in awhile when someone really needs it.
Giving of yourself is a great way to open up a whole new avenue to happiness in your life. You will likely find a deep fountain of fulfillment that you never knew existed!
4. Tap into your spiritual side
I believe there is more to us than just flesh and bone. Get in touch with your spiritual side.
If you have never explored this aspect of life, then now is a great time to do it. Go find out what you believe.
You have a lot more to offer than what you might imagine. Discovering and deepening your spiritual connection is essential to being truly successful in life.
There will always be a hole in your heart until you resolve this for yourself. This is where the marrow of life truly exists.
Turn success and happiness into contentment and joy
Ultimately, when you pursue the right things in life, your feelings of success and happiness will turn into true contentment and joy.
You will be satisfied. You will cease always longing for things that are temporary and inferior. You will be wise enough to avoid common pitfalls that steal our joy.
I’m certainly not there yet myself, but I long for the days.
Where are you at on this journey?
Photo by dreamymo
Awesome post! Very rarely do we sit back and consider that it’s not the “things” that we have which bring happiness, rather it’s the relationships we build with those arouund us which make life worth living.
Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to focus on ourselves and our “things”. It would be best if we could all break away from worrying about our status and instead focus on choosing happiness and living life to its fullest!
Read Jake | Revive Your Life´s latest article – Wellness and The Bucket Theory
One of the best things I did recently was to sit down and think about what I truly want in life — how I want my life to be. Not surprisingly, very little of it involved loads of money or titles or stuff. I’m not suggesting that I don’t want any money, but rather, I’d like to be able to view money as a tool to reach my goals.
Great post. Thanks for the suggestions.
@Jake – We really have been conditioned by all the advertising that bombards us everyday to think only of ourselves and to measure people, including ourselves, by possessions. We need to wake up and see that we are so much more than that.
@Beth – I commend you for taking the time to figure out what you truly want in life. What a great exercise! We often go through life on auto-pilot without really making conscious choices. You are taking the high road!
Thanks for letting me know how you are dealing with this!
Hi Jeff, You’re right that it’s not the physical things in life that are important it’s the non-tangible things like relationships, state of mind and happiness that matter.
I agree with the statement “Men especially seem predisposed to getting a lot of their self-worth from what they do for a living.” What I find upsetting is that a lot of them who have families (wife and children) pour themselves into their work to provide for their family, make a name for themselves and work their way up the corporate ladder. When they get to retirement they realize that they don’t really know who their kids are and have a less than ideal relationship with their wife. I’m sure if they could do it over again they would but with a greater work/life balance. I hope more people start to realize that it is what’s before them that matters most. I feel lucky to have figured this out at a fairly young age. Great post!
Read Sherri (Serene Journey)´s latest article – Get Rich, Stay Rich – Emotional Bank Accounts
Success is always going to initially be judged by career and money but as the world is changing, that may change a bit. I like to think of success more in the frame of positive experiences one has.
I am the Happiest Person I Know, though society would judge me as less than successful. (And I don’t care what society thinks!!).
I have this quote by Marianne Williamson stuck to my computer screen, and I live it:
“Success means we go to sleep at night knowing that our talents and abilities were used in a way that served others.”
I am successful because I am happy, peaceful and I serve others with love.
Live Life Happy!
Read Jacqueline Johns – Your Happy Life Mentor´s latest article – Happy Quotes
Yes, yes, yes. For the first time in my life, I’m starting to think about what I want my life to look like in the long-term, not just in the next few years. The most interesting part is realizing that I don’t even know! I think the question you’re asking–how we judge success–is a genuine jumping off point for real thought and honest discussion. Thanks!
Read Sara at On Simplicity´s latest article – 7 Ways to Attack Your Monday Morning Stress
[...] How We Judge Success Determines Our Happiness [...]
[...] How We Judge Success Determines Our Happiness – My Super-Charged Life How do you judge success in your life? What makes you happy? I’ve been writing a lot lately about money, but the accumulation of wealth can be a false yardstick for success. As we’ve seen in our economy, money comes and goes. True happiness or joy in life needs to be built on a more solid foundation. [...]
[...] different too (what time they finished in, how they felt/performed). With personal finance your measure of success will be similar to many as well (wealth) but will be different in it’s specifics and how [...]