I Confess I Live a Life of Contradictions
Situations in life are often complex. Now that I have more life experience, things don’t seem quite as black and white as they did twenty years ago. I find that it isn’t always easy to explain exactly where I stand on every issue that comes up. In fact, it sometimes seems that my beliefs are contradictory. I definitely know that there are a lot more gray areas than what I used to think there were.
The contradictions in my thinking.
Living life to the fullest requires that we successfully navigate all the crazy situations that come our way. Thinking through our convictions and constantly reevaluating where we stand given the new information we acquire as we go through life is important. Here’s some of the issues I struggle to balance:
1. Giving to charity versus my belief everyone should work.
I firmly believe in giving generously to those in need. We have had a number of disasters in this country lately where those affected become dependent on others for all their needs. I have been in this situation and the generosity I received during that time still makes me emotional. I feel an obligation to pay forward the kindness I received during my time of need. I definitely believe that real charity is an admirable quality.
However, I also think that every person with decent health should work to earn a living. A few months ago, I wrote an article called How To Protect Your Money From Panhandlers. In it, I expressed my frustration with able-bodied people begging for money. I would help another human being that was truly in need at the drop of a hat, but I don’t want to get scammed. At times, it isn’t easy to reconcile these two beliefs.
2. Freedom of speech versus racy shows on television.
I love the freedoms we enjoy in America. In fact, I often feel that we have lost too much freedom because people always want the government to do something to solve their personal plight. Laws are then enacted that restrict our choices to “protect us”. Our freedom of speech is important. It is a necessary check and balance to guard against government becoming corrupt and dictatorial.
However, I am also concerned about the sex and violence that is shown on television. I don’t think this stuff is good for anyone, but most especially I am convinced it is bad for our children. They are just too impressionable to see the wicked murders, dead bodies, serial rapists, nudity, and promiscuous sex shown on many television shows. I think parents are primarily responsible for policing what their children watch, but networks often show commercials for these inappropriate shows right in the middle of family programming. I am not a prude, but I do believe we should exercise common sense about what children watch. How do we handle this while preserving our freedom?
3. Right to bear arms versus concern about violence.
I support each citizens’ right to own a gun in America. This gives individuals the power to protect themselves and their property. This country’s independence was partially won by minutemen from the colonial militia. These men often armed themselves with their hunting rifles. I am not a gun enthusiast, but I do believe Americans should have the right to own the weapon of their choice.
On the other hand, there are a number of violent tragedies that have occurred that concern me about the easy availability of guns. For instance, the shootings at Columbine High School and Virginia Tech are both examples that bring rise to the idea that we need to more tightly control who can access guns. Of course, I don’t know how you keep them out of the hands of those that would perpetrate such crimes without impeding on the rights of law-abiding citizens. My feelings about guns are often contradictory and hard to resolve.
4. The death penalty versus the sanctity of human life.
When people commit hideous crimes, they deserve severe punishment. Punishment usually involves a loss of certain rights. When the crime takes the life of one or more individuals and is particularly brutal, I think the criminal should lose their right to life. They should be put to death. They deserve to have their life taken from them just like they took the life of someone else. At times, I think this is the only punishment that fits the crime. Anything less wouldn’t be just to the families of the victims.
However, I don’t think the execution of murderers produces closure or a sense of vindication for families. Plus, our justice system sometimes wrongly accuses people. It is no doubt imperfect. This creates a problem because while you can later let someone out of prison, you cannot bring them back to life when you realize you were wrong. Therefore, even though this issue seems very black and white at times, it gets complicated in certain cases. Does an eye-for-an-eye accomplish the desired result?
5. The need for national defense versus the desire for peace.
I believe we have to aggressively defend our freedom and ideals. For instance, I do not subscribe to the belief that if we leave terrorists alone that they will leave us alone. What were we doing to them prior to 9/11? Sometimes, you have to take the fight to the enemy. You have to go on the offensive to effectively defend yourself. I am not a warmonger, but I am a veteran and I firmly believe that a good national defense is a must. I believe Reagan used it effectively to win the Cold War. I will always support our military and the right the President has as Commander-in-Chief.
Of course, I desire peace over war. My heart goes out to those families that have paid the ultimate sacrifice. I can’t imagine losing one of my children to a war. It would be devastating to say the least. As we all know, the justification for war is not always 100% clear and accurate. In addition, we may not all agree when the need to go to war has been met. Furthermore, members of the military do not get to vote on whether they agree or not with the justification despite the fact that they have to lay their lives on the line. For these reasons and others, I struggle with going to war.
The reason I am confessing my contradictions.
I confess these things to make this point. We all need to live with a little more empathy and consideration for one another’s views. Life is complicated. We all have had different experiences and inputs that have developed our views of the world. There often isn’t just one right way of seeing things. Take a few minutes and try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Put yourself in their shoes. You might just learn something, broaden your view of the world, and make a friend in the process.
What contradictions do you struggle with?
Photos by The Wandering Angel and kcdsTM and soldiersmediacenter
Your contradictions are deeply American, over here in the UK several of them have been resolved more or less one way.
I think freedom of speech and protection of privacy has inherent contradictions, but if you don’t like what’s on tv, you don’t have to let you or your children watch it. But otherwise, in the olden days there were different contradiction which have since been resolved and I think many of the ones that you’ve cited will go the same way.
Being able to look at both sides of an issue and see the merits of the opposing arguments is something that you should be doing as a grown up. There are always mitigating circumstances, and things are never straight-forward.
I struggle with many of the contradictions that you’ve mentioned here. Another one I have is caring for my family vs doing things for myself.
It is difficult to resolve opinions or actions that on the one hand go against your beliefs, but on the other are simply part of modern society. In embracing society as it is, I sometimes feel that I’m not being genuine.
However, as you say, it is never black and white and we can all learn by trying to understand opposing points of view.
@plonkee – It is interesting to me that most of these have been worked out in the UK. I know that you have much tighter gun control. I’d be curious to know how you’ve worked out the freedom of speech issues.
@Journeyer – I believe we make up the views that are our modern society. The difficulty is deciding how we feel about these issues and how to deal with the gray areas. Again, I think accepting that these issues are difficult is a great starting point.
Thanks for the thoughtful input!
You are right about this, Jeff. Most of us sensible people have to live with these contradictions. (Other contradictions may be religion etc.)
You have made a great point about putting ourselves in the other guy’s shoes.
The difficulty is in the balance.
Thanx for linking to my blog.
@fathersez – Contradictions certainly seem to be a part of our lives that we cannot avoid.
@Babysitter – Thanks for writing great stuff for me to link to!
Thanks for your comments and keep them coming!
most of the things you said were reasonable and “charity versus my belief everyone should work” is the one i can relate to my view of why people beg even after having no abnormalities….. a Good blog i must say…
I’m in agreement that contradiction is not a bad thing. One the best things I ever did for my mind was to marry someone with opposing political beliefs. Whenever we talk, I find that things aren’t as black and white as I wish they were. While it can be frustrating (to both of us), we’re both a lot more knowledgeable and passionate because we’re willing to venture into the gray.
One big conflict I always seem to get into is:
Eco-friendly or convenient. And I feel guilty if I choose the latter over the former.
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