Living Life to the Fullest: Are You FULL of it?

This is a guest post by Stephen Borgman at Personal Success Factors.

Are You FULL of it?!!

The ancient Greeks had a term called “zoe”, which was a term used to describe both temporal and eternal life.  I like to think of it as “life at its fullest.” 

So, what does it take to experience life at its fullest?  I did some thinking, and came up with the ideas in this article.

They may not fully define a Super-Charged Life, but they will help you to start to paint the picture for yourself.  I will provide some initial thoughts; I will ask you, the reader, to add to my list at the end with your comments.

“Two men looked out the same prison bars: one saw mud, and the other stars”
~ Frederick Langbridge

Focus

Living life in the fullest, to me, means that my Focus is in the right place.  Every day, in every circumstance, I have the power to choose what I will focus on.  Will I focus on my limitations, my failures, my fears?  Will I focus on what I do not have, what I have not yet accomplished, on my weakness?  Or will I choose to focus on what is going well in my life?

“Some men see things as they are, and say, ‘Why?’  I dream of things that never were, and say, ‘Why not?’ “  ~ George Bernard Shaw

One great tool that Anthony Robbins designed to help guide powerful focus is a set of what he calls power questions.  I’ll share them with you now.  These are taken from his book called Awaken the Giant Within. 

He has a set of morning questions that he frequently asks himself, to get his focus on the right things:

• What am I happy about in my life now?
• What am I excited about in my life now?
• What am I proud about in my life now?
• What am I grateful about in my life now?
• What am I enjoying most in my life right now?
• What am I committed to in my life right now?
• Who do I love?  Who loves me?

He also has a set of evening power questions that help him realign his focus for sleep and for the next day:

• What have I given today?
• What did I learn today?
• How has today added to the quality of my life, or how can I use today as an Investment in my future?

The list of questions can go on and on, but I think you get the idea: the right set of questions can give us the answers that help us live life to the fullest.

“Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question.”
~ E.E. Cummings

Understanding

A second quality that helps me live a FULL life is Understanding.  For me, there needs to be accurate Understanding of God, of myself, and of others. 

“I cannot imagine how the clockwork of the universe can exist without a clockmaker.”
~Voltaire

I have to have an understanding that there is Something beyond me, and that alone life is not nearly as full as when I am working in unison with the Power that created the universe.  It is the same power that many an alcoholic has found when s/he comes into a group and admits, for the first time, that s/he cannot live life on their own. 

The AA Big Book, which is the handbook for Alcoholics Anonymous, talks about this understanding as being the same as the person who turns the light switch on in the room.  They cannot see electricity, but they understand its effects, and they are willing to trust its effects for their benefit.

“I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion.”  ~ Billie Jean King, Considered to be one of the greatest female tennis players in history

Accurate self understanding is the essence of true humility, and it affords us the opportunity to live life to the fullest.  When I have been too proud to admit my weaknesses and character faults, it has made life pretty miserable for my wife, my kids, my friends, and people in general.  When I have been too fearful to acknowledge my strengths, my talents, my good characteristics, I have deprived myself and others of a unique gift: me!  There is no other me! 

This is why taking inventory of our strengths, our values, our weaknesses, our goals is so important.  It’s like looking in the mirror in the morning to get ready for work, then walking outside with ketchup smears on our face and our hair uncombed.  We need to be self aware to live life to the fullest.

“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.”
~ Kahlil Gibran

Finally, we need to have the courage and emotional intelligence to be able to listen to and understand others.  As Steven Covey writes in his bestseller book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, “Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood”.  If I have an understanding of God and myself, I will have the security to listen without defensiveness to the other person’s point of view.

On the flip side of this, having an accurate understanding of myself means that I have the courage to assert myself, to stand up for my own thoughts, positions, ideas, feelings.  To understand others does not mean I give myself up in the process.  In seeking a win-win understanding with another person, I stick to what I believe, but I seek to reach an agreement that we can both live with.

Love

The third element of living a FULL life, for me, is to have the courage to Love.

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own.”
~ Mother Teresa

Apart from love, life is pretty flat.  In loving, I am fulfilling the heart of God.  Mother Teresa worked her entire lifetime among the dying poor of Calcutta, India.  When she gave a speech here in the West, she remarked that it is harder to fill the hunger for love than it is to fill physical hunger.  She noted that there is a famine of love in the West.

I am speaking for those of us who are readers here in the United States and Canada (I cannot speak for those in other parts of the world).  Is it not easy to get insulated, working at our jobs, going home, watching television, getting up, doing the same thing over and over again?  We forget that there are neighbors, friends, and relatives who are starving on the inside for a kind word, a smile and an act of service.

One of my favorite passages on love is found in the Bible: I Corinthians 13: 1-13.  If you aspire to love others, please read and reflect on the model of love found in this passage.

The interesting thing about love is that the Law of Indirect Effort comes into play here.  The trick is that you must love without expecting in return.  When you truly love, you are filled up on the inside of your soul.

As with everything else, forming the Habit of Love is not difficult, but it will take practice.  You may have to learn to forgive injuries, take responsibility for your part in what went wrong in a relationship.  My favorite prayer for learning to love comes from St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, 
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; 
to be understood as to understand; 
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive; 
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; 
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

~ St. Francis of Assisi

Long Term Perspective and Lingering

Finally, I am going to cheat and include two L’s in the last part of the acrostic that I have used to describe a FULL life: and that will be Long Term Perspective coupled with Lingering.  What?!!  Let me explain.

Living with a Long Term Perspective is what separates achievers from the average.  Anything worth doing will require time and effort.  Think about saving for retirement.  When a person is thinking only about the short-term gratification of spending all they have for the moment, they lose sight of the miracle of compound interest.

When a person has to have their own way in a marriage relationship, or when they cheat on their partner, they are giving up their Long Term Perspective.

When a doctor goes to medical school, she is living with the End in mind.  Sure she is in school for 8+ years, amassing a lot of educational debt in school loans and time missed from other activities, but she is understanding that the prize is worth the price.

On the other hand, if a person only lives in the Future, they miss out on the gift that is called the Present.

There is a habit found in the research on positive psychology that is shown to increase happiness when practiced consistently.  It’s called Savoring (which, for purposes of this article, I am calling Lingering).  I would say that it’s closely linked to Gratitude. 

With savoring, you may want to have a picture album, or you can use your Flickr account, to remember in detail your happiest and most meaningful memories.  Or, during the day, you may just want to take time to notice the beauty of a sunset, the wonder of your pets, the curiosity of a child.  By Living in the Moment, while having the understanding of a Long Term Perspective, you are truly living life to the fullest.

Are You FULL of Life?

In conclusion, I have shared with you my thoughts on living a FULL life:

F – Do you have the proper Focus?

U – Do you have an Understanding of God, yourself, and others?

L – Do you have a commitment to Love?

L – And, finally, are you living with Long Term Perspective while being committed to Lingering in the Present?

I welcome your thoughts and comments as to what constitutes a FULL life for you!

Stephen Borgman’s mission is to help others reach their full potential. He grew up in Brazil, South America, to parents whose legacy of serving and helping others he hopes to carry on. His blog, Personal Success Factors, is dedicated to helping your reach your next level of excellence.

Photo by ViaMoi

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