Smart Living Rule 12 – Love Others and Let Yourself Be Loved

Do you feel loved?

We all want love.  Love satisfies our deepest needs.  We long for the nurturing, accepting and forgiving nature of love. 

You must give it to receive it and you have to live smartly to be lovable.  These requirements are non-negotiable. 

A life without love is empty and dark.  Open your heart and let the light shine in!

A little refresher on how to love and be loved before we go on

Love is a verb not a feeling.  Love is how you act toward someone.  It is nurturing, caring, forgiving, providing, encouraging, leading and supporting others.

We often say things like, “I just don’t love him/her anymore.”  What we mean is that for whatever reason our emotions don’t support the action of loving this person right now.

Often, this is because we don’t feel loved by that person.  We don’t act in love toward others which makes them not act in love toward us.  This downward spiral can be hard to stop.

Again, you have to give love to receive it.  Love is selfless.  It is giving of yourself even when you don’t feel like it and even when it doesn’t appear to be appreciated or returned.

This selflessness is the hard part about loving people.  It is easy to start feeling like you aren’t getting a good return on your effort.  You aren’t being loved enough.  This is selfishness creeping in.

This is how a lot of loving relationships fall apart.  One partner or the other starts feeling like they are loving their partner more than they are being loved.  They convince themselves that they are being cheated.  Again, this is a slippery slope!

Selfishness is the opposite of love!  Selflessly loving others before they love us back is the best way to ensure we, ourselves are loved.

Therefore, it is important that we choose a lifestyle that expresses love to others through our actions and makes us more lovable at the same time.

Smart living is a great way to express love and be lovable

I would suggest that smart living is a great lifestyle for expressing your love for others and for making yourself lovable.

If you look back over the rules for smart living, you will see things like:

• taking responsibility for your actions
• having a positive attitude
• acting charitably
• being a good steward over money
• leading by example
• growing and learning
• taking care of yourself
• seeking adventure and exploring

I would argue that these actions both express love for your family and also make you more desirable to love.  These are the kinds of behaviors that make true and lasting love possible.

Trust must exist for love to flourish.  Smart living makes a person trustworthy. 

Sure, there is a romantic side to love in a marriage too, but that is not all that love is about.  It is a lot easier to be romantic with someone when you feel well cared for and secure in your life.  Therefore, I would say that smart living also contributes to romance.

Am I wrong?

I think a person that takes good care of themselves, their children, their money and their community is a lot more attractive to love than someone who doesn’t.

A person that lives a irresponsible lifestyle might be fun and exciting to hang around for awhile, but eventually that is going to get old.  People want and need the sense of security and trust that comes from smart living!

Smart living is a lifestyle that is loving toward others and allows you to be loved.

You reduce the risk involved in someone loving you which increases the likelihood that you will be loved.  This is a win-win situation!

Assignment: Love others and let yourself be loved by living smartly

This is the final assignment in this series.  All along I have offered ways for you to start applying these rules to your life.  After all, if you don’t live the rules, then what’s the point in reading them?

Here are the assignments for this rule:

1. Dig deeper into the meaning of love – Our society has given most of us many false impressions about love.  We have to unlearn these erroneous notions.  Here are some articles that will help you uncover what real love is all about.

   Choosing to love every day
   Love is a verb
   Real Love Again

   I hope these articles help you unpack the true meaning of love so you can start to love others more deeply and also receive the love we all crave.
   

2. Begin loving others – I hope by now you get it that you have to first love someone else with your actions before you are going to be loved.  Therefore, it is time to start loving the people around you.  Here are a few articles to help you express your love as a verb.

   101 Ways to Show You Love Somebody
   25 Things Every Father Must Teach His Daughter About Life
   Frugal Ways to Show Your Love

   Ideas are priceless!  Hopefully, these will help you to improve your relationships and feel more loved!

Love is the pinnacle of smart living!

The best we can do in life is to love and be loved.  It is the summit we all seek to conquer.  Applying all the smart living rules in your life will help you to achieve this victory!

Photo by  TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³

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