A life purpose based on honorable and admirable values will add direction and meaning to your life.  It will bring a sense of guidance and clarity that will help you to make decisions and to simplify your life.

However, generally, many of us spend our lives chasing after things that leave us feeling empty and insignificant.  We lack meaningful purpose and therefore wander off into things that leave us feeling drained and confused.

Recognizing these false purposes is an important step toward getting our lives back on track.

Three Common False Purposes that Rob Us of True Meaning

I call these false purposes because they produce the opposite effect in our lives when compared to a values-based purpose. 

The three common false purposes are:

1.  Chasing After Pleasure

“Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it.”
~ Thomas Jefferson

Pleasure is not a bad thing.  We need to enjoy living, but it should not be the compass that guides our lives.  Many chase after pleasure at the expense of everything else.

They pursue the buzz that comes from pleasurable activities to the detriment of what is truly important.  They have mountains of debt from spending well beyond their means.  They have kids with bad behavior because they never disciplined them.  They have a trail of broken marriages and relationships because once the fun wore off they moved on.

Chasing after pleasure is an alluring and deceiving false purpose.  The trouble is that you can never get enough and what gave you the buzz yesterday won’t continue to give it to you today.  There is a law of diminishing return involved with pleasure.  You have to constantly push it further and further to achieve the same high.

Many people fall into the trap of chasing after pleasure.  They feel empty inside and believe that if they can just get to that next level of pleasure, then they will finally feel fulfilled.  If they could just get that bigger house or more cooperative spouse or climb that next higher mountain, then everything will be fine. 

Of course, it is not.  Chasing after pleasure in whatever form is a false purpose that cannot produce true feelings of meaning and significance.

2.  Pursuing Riches

“Grief and greed are as inextricably entwined as love and marriage should be.”
~ Ann Kent

Some people think that making money is their life purpose.  They put all their energy into trying to get rich ignoring almost everything else.

There is nothing wrong with wanting or having money.  Being rich is fine, but it will not bring fulfillment or meaning to your life.  Just look at all the rich and famous people in the news with lives that are a complete wreck.  Do they appear happy?

Money is just a tool.  It is a means to an end.  It must be given a purpose.  Pursuing money with no higher purpose is simply greed.  Greed will not produce a good life.  It will leave you alone and bitter.

People that have made pursuing riches their life purpose are always duped by the next get-rich-quick scheme.  They are obsessed with money.  They’ll do almost anything to get it even if it means compromising their integrity.

Money comes and goes.  If you don’t have a values-based purpose to live for, then you might become one of those people that jumps out the window when the stock market crashes.  Obviously, these people had nothing greater than money to live for.

3.  Climbing the Business Ladder

“Drive thy business, let not that drive thee.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

I started to name this false purpose, “Climbing the Corporate Ladder”, but it doesn’t matter if you work for someone else or for yourself.  There must be a greater reason behind what you are doing.

Stephen Covey warns us, “You don’t want to climb the ladder of success only to find it is leaning against the wrong wall.”  Blind ambition may take you to the top, but you might not like what you find when you get there.

Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be successful in business.  You just need to make sure that your life is built on something more sturdy than a career or a business.  These too come and go.  They are fickle animals that aren’t always predictable.

People that have adopted this false purpose are generally workaholics.  They live, breathe and eat work.  When things go terribly wrong, they often wind up depressed and even suicidal.  Their work is all they have and if it dries up, then they have nothing to live for.

You can’t work forever and even while you are working you need a purpose worthy of your long-term commitment.  This will ensure you leave a legacy worthy of all your effort.

A Values-Based Purpose Is the Only Kind That Makes Sense

These three things that so many devote their lives to pursuing are mirages.  They appear to be worthy of our commitment, but they are not.  They are delusions that lead people off the path of true joy, significance and accomplishment in life.

What do you base your life purpose upon?

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Sure, I guess some decisions in life are easy like should I stop at the stop sign up ahead or not?  The risk of getting a ticket or having an accident tips the scale pretty quickly toward stopping.  There is no reason to drag it out.

However, other decisions are not so easy.  Things aren’t always so black and white.  Decisions like, “Who should I marry?” or “What job should I take?” are often a lot more difficult and making the right decision is so incredibly crucial to having a good life.

How do you make these more difficult decisions?  I have found that it is paramount to take a little time, get the proper perspective and to gather valuable input to make the right decision in these situations.

Six strategies for making the right decision

The right choice for the more difficult questions in life usually does not jump up and bite you on the leg.  You have to go looking for it.  You’ve got to dig a little to uncover it.

Of course, these more difficult decisions warrant this additional time again because the consequences of making the wrong choice can have such an incredible impact on how your life flows.

I’ve found these six strategies very helpful for making the right decision:

1.  Step back and look at the big picture

One of the key factors involved in making the right decision in any situation is perspective.  You must view your circumstances in the proper light in order to make a good choice. 

For example, sometimes we make a mountain out of a molehill.  We view a decision to be more important than it really is.  Ask yourself, “Will my decision matter a year from now?“  If not, then it probably isn’t that big a deal.  You can relax knowing that either way the results won’t have that great of an impact.

Another good way to step back from a problem is to write it all out on paper.  The process of writing helps us to collect and organize our thoughts.  This often helps the right decision to pop out.

2.  What’s the best that could happen?

List your alternatives and then for each one ask yourself, “What’s the best that can happen if I go this route?”  Focus solely on positive outcomes at this stage. 

This will help you evaluate the potential upside of each alternative.  Don’t forget to include doing nothing as an alternative.  Which of the alternatives seems like the best direction when you look at the best that could happen?  This should help you zero in on some possibilities.

3.  What’s the worst that could happen?

Making the right decision is about calculating and balancing risk against reward.  You’ve taken a look at the potential rewards in the previous step.  Now it is time to get a handle on the risk.

What is the worst-case scenario for each of your alternatives?  What is the likelihood that the worst could happen?  What is the most likely consequence if the alternative fails?  These are some of the questions you should consider as a part of this process.

Look for alternatives with high potential rewards and low risks.  These are likely your best choices.

4.  Be courageous

Analysis is wonderful, but eventually you have to suck it up and make a decision.  You are rarely going to have perfect information.  Your predictions in the previous two strategies are simply your best guesses.

You are going to have to muster the courage to choose.  If your decision has a deadline, then not deciding is a decision in and of itself.  That’s why you need to weigh the consequences of doing nothing.

In my opinion, a courageous decision-maker that makes the wrong choice once in awhile is better than someone that procrastinates forever.

5.  Make a positive commitment

Once you’ve decided, then commit yourself to your decision.  Throw your whole self into making it work.  A half-hearted commitment is your decision’s greatest enemy. 

Poor follow-through is usually the single greatest reason a course of action fails.  See There Are No Bad Decisions Only Bad Follow-Through for more of my thoughts on this.

The bottom line is to make a decision that you can stand behind and fully support.  Otherwise, it is more likely to fail.

6.  Build a support team

Assemble a team of people to support your decision.  You can do this by seeking the opinion of others and giving them a say in the decision if it will effect them.

If this is a big decision, it is always a good idea to seek outside input.  Once you are pretty sure of your choice, but before you make the decision, get a friend or family member to play devil’s advocate with you.  This can help open your eyes to potential pitfalls.  It can also help strengthen your resolve.

You may need financial, emotional and physical support to execute your decision.  Consider all these as you build your team.  Also, be sure to recruit individuals with a wide-range of talents.

Use these strategies to make the right decision

There is no 100% correct answer to any difficult decision.  You just have to do the best you can.  Used properly, these strategies will aid you in arriving at the best conclusion.

How do you make difficult decisions?  Have I left anything out?

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