Is today going to be a good day for you?

We all have good days and bad days.  The good days RAWWWKKK and the bad days suck.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could control how today will turn out?

This begs the question, what determines which way this day will go?  Is it pure chance?  Is it a combination of things?  What exactly is involved?

These are some interesting questions to ponder.  I’ve been wondering about it a lot lately.  After all, I’d like to avoid as many bad days as possible.  Wouldn’t you?

I mean it only makes sense.  If you have a choice, wouldn’t you choose to make today a good day?  I definitely would.  Let’s look at this and see what can be done.

The Good Day vs. Bad Day Dilemma

A dilemma is a situation where a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives.  Please notice the emphasis on the difficulty involved in this choice.

Every day has the potential to be either good or bad.  So, how do you decide which bucket to put today in?  It is normally based on what happens, right?  If good things happen to you like you get promoted or you close a big deal or you get along especially well with your spouse today, you count it as good.

If bad things happen, like you have a flat tire on the way to work or your computer crashes losing your latest project or your client chews you out for something that was beyond your control, then you feel like you’ve had a bad day.

For the most part, you likely decide whether today is good or bad based on circumstances.  Circumstances that are often beyond your control.

Here’s where the dilemma comes into play.  You choose.  You decide.  You pick.  In your mind, you determine which way today is going.  It is no doubt a difficult choice, but it is definitely a choice.

Why would you choose today to be a bad day?  Bad days SUCK!

It is hard when circumstances don’t go as you desire to choose to have a good day anyway, but it is a choice that you can make.  In fact, it is the best choice you can make.  The only other alternative is to have a bad day and why in the world would you make that choice?

7 Strategies to Help You Make It a Good Day

As I’ve already said, I know the choice to have a good day is difficult sometimes.  When you are temporarily caught up in this dilemma and trying to decide which way to go, it is smart to have a few strategies available to help you make the right choice.

Here are seven quick strategies you can use to help yourself make it a good day when circumstances seem to be taking it in the other direction:

1.  Stop Rehashing It

When something “bad” happens, we tend to want to rehash it over and over again in our heads.  This will almost certainly ruin the whole day.  Instead, do something simple to comfort yourself, let it go and move on.  This will help you make today a good day.

2.  Do Something Fun

If you’re mad or frustrated, you need to find a way to release it.  You’ve got to get your mind off the bad thing(s) and lighten up your mood.  The best way I know to do this is to engage in something fun.  This has a really good chance of turning your day around.

3.  Listen to Your Favorite Music

Music has a powerful effect on our emotions.  You can leverage this to your advantage.  If your day feels challenging, then crank up your favorite songs and let them carry you to a better place.

4.  Go for a Walk in the Woods

This one is a two-fer really.  A brisk walk will make your body produce endorphins which naturally improve your mood and being out in nature is additionally relaxing.  This is a quick and easy way to make it a better day.

5.  Get Something Done

You always feel better when you accomplish something meaningful.  Therefore, if you are struggling to make it a good day, you can declutter and organize your area to improve your mood.  It will get your mind off the negative and make you feel a sense of achievement.

6.  Snuggle with Your Honey

If you need a quick pick-me-up, ask your honey for a hug.  There is nothing in this world that can turn your day around quicker than simply feeling loved and cared for.  This will remind you that your life is good and that the really important things in your life are okay.

7.  Get Some Help

You may need help overcoming whatever obstacles are challenging you or you may simply need help choosing to make this a good day.  Either way, asking a good friend for some support is a great way to get things headed back in the right direction.

Do Something to Make It a Good Day

The choice about whether today will be a good day or a bad one really is up to you.  If it seems to be going the wrong way, then use one or more of the strategies above to help yourself make the right choice.  Do your own intervention to save yourself from having a bad day.  Obviously, the list above is not all-inclusive, but it should stimulate your thinking in the right direction.  If you need more, then check out this list of 52 Ways to Change Your Mood.  I hope you have a good day!

Do you struggle with choosing to have a good day when circumstances are working against you?  How do you deal with it?  Leave a comment on this post and let me know.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Sure, I guess some decisions in life are easy like should I stop at the stop sign up ahead or not?  The risk of getting a ticket or having an accident tips the scale pretty quickly toward stopping.  There is no reason to drag it out.

However, other decisions are not so easy.  Things aren’t always so black and white.  Decisions like, “Who should I marry?” or “What job should I take?” are often a lot more difficult and making the right decision is so incredibly crucial to having a good life.

How do you make these more difficult decisions?  I have found that it is paramount to take a little time, get the proper perspective and to gather valuable input to make the right decision in these situations.

Six strategies for making the right decision

The right choice for the more difficult questions in life usually does not jump up and bite you on the leg.  You have to go looking for it.  You’ve got to dig a little to uncover it.

Of course, these more difficult decisions warrant this additional time again because the consequences of making the wrong choice can have such an incredible impact on how your life flows.

I’ve found these six strategies very helpful for making the right decision:

1.  Step back and look at the big picture

One of the key factors involved in making the right decision in any situation is perspective.  You must view your circumstances in the proper light in order to make a good choice. 

For example, sometimes we make a mountain out of a molehill.  We view a decision to be more important than it really is.  Ask yourself, “Will my decision matter a year from now?“  If not, then it probably isn’t that big a deal.  You can relax knowing that either way the results won’t have that great of an impact.

Another good way to step back from a problem is to write it all out on paper.  The process of writing helps us to collect and organize our thoughts.  This often helps the right decision to pop out.

2.  What’s the best that could happen?

List your alternatives and then for each one ask yourself, “What’s the best that can happen if I go this route?”  Focus solely on positive outcomes at this stage. 

This will help you evaluate the potential upside of each alternative.  Don’t forget to include doing nothing as an alternative.  Which of the alternatives seems like the best direction when you look at the best that could happen?  This should help you zero in on some possibilities.

3.  What’s the worst that could happen?

Making the right decision is about calculating and balancing risk against reward.  You’ve taken a look at the potential rewards in the previous step.  Now it is time to get a handle on the risk.

What is the worst-case scenario for each of your alternatives?  What is the likelihood that the worst could happen?  What is the most likely consequence if the alternative fails?  These are some of the questions you should consider as a part of this process.

Look for alternatives with high potential rewards and low risks.  These are likely your best choices.

4.  Be courageous

Analysis is wonderful, but eventually you have to suck it up and make a decision.  You are rarely going to have perfect information.  Your predictions in the previous two strategies are simply your best guesses.

You are going to have to muster the courage to choose.  If your decision has a deadline, then not deciding is a decision in and of itself.  That’s why you need to weigh the consequences of doing nothing.

In my opinion, a courageous decision-maker that makes the wrong choice once in awhile is better than someone that procrastinates forever.

5.  Make a positive commitment

Once you’ve decided, then commit yourself to your decision.  Throw your whole self into making it work.  A half-hearted commitment is your decision’s greatest enemy. 

Poor follow-through is usually the single greatest reason a course of action fails.  See There Are No Bad Decisions Only Bad Follow-Through for more of my thoughts on this.

The bottom line is to make a decision that you can stand behind and fully support.  Otherwise, it is more likely to fail.

6.  Build a support team

Assemble a team of people to support your decision.  You can do this by seeking the opinion of others and giving them a say in the decision if it will effect them.

If this is a big decision, it is always a good idea to seek outside input.  Once you are pretty sure of your choice, but before you make the decision, get a friend or family member to play devil’s advocate with you.  This can help open your eyes to potential pitfalls.  It can also help strengthen your resolve.

You may need financial, emotional and physical support to execute your decision.  Consider all these as you build your team.  Also, be sure to recruit individuals with a wide-range of talents.

Use these strategies to make the right decision

There is no 100% correct answer to any difficult decision.  You just have to do the best you can.  Used properly, these strategies will aid you in arriving at the best conclusion.

How do you make difficult decisions?  Have I left anything out?

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It isn’t that hard to be a good boss.  Good bosses get the job done, but great bosses are leaders.  They inspire and elevate their people.  Great bosses go the extra mile to reach people’s hearts.

Great bosses lead people to great victories!  They win championships.  They turn failing companies around.  They rejuvenate the faith of the people in their country.  We need GREAT bosses!

The essentials of being a GREAT boss

I aspire to be a great boss.  I don’t think I’m there yet, but I’m trying to learn what I can do to get there.  Fortunately, I’ve had the privilege of working for some great bosses so I’ve been able to observe what they do.

Here are six essentials of being a great boss in no particular order.  I’m sure there are a lot more that could be added to this list, but I’m convinced that these six things must exist in order for a person to become a great boss.

1.  You must respect everyone

A great boss has learned to listen to and respect everyone even those that have a vastly different opinion and agenda from their own.  Regardless of differences, they never make another feel small or foolish.  They listen and drink in the information filtering it through their wisdom.  They make everyone feel valued and appreciated even when they disagree with what is being said.

2.  You must take care of your people

A great boss stands up for her people.  She gets them what they need to do their job, however necessary.  A great boss will stick her neck out and risk her own safe status on behalf of one of her people.  Her loyalty is uncompromising.

Great bosses are also keenly aware of the personal needs of their people.  They are sensitive to the balance between work and home.  They are more than just a boss to their people, they are a friend.

3.  You must cast a compelling vision

A great boss knows where he is going and is able to paint a vivid picture of that vision for his people.  Without a clear and compelling vision, people flounder.  There is no way for them to come together as a team because they lack a common purpose.

All great bosses cast a compelling vision.  They rally the troops to achieve one clear cut objective.  If your team is not doing too well, then ask yourself if you have adequately conveyed the vision to them.  Does your team know what they are there to accomplish?

4.  You must be able to make a decision

Personally, I would rather work for a boss that makes a bad decision once in awhile than one that can never make up his mind.  People want to follow a confident boss.  They want someone that can make a decision and then lead the charge in that direction.

A great boss knows that you can never have perfect knowledge of a future outcome.  They gather input, weigh the probabilities and make a decision.  If additional information comes available later that warrants a change of course, then they adapt or make the best of the choice made.

5.  You must accept responsibility and pass along praise

A great boss always accepts responsibility when things go wrong.  They never pass the buck or make excuses.  They analyze what went wrong, take corrective action and move forward.  They are open and honest about their mistakes.  An exposed cover-up always does more damage than the original error.

In addition, a great boss always passes along the praise to her team.  She also shares all rewards she receives as a result of the joint effort.  Publicly acknowledging the contributions and sacrifices of your team will go a long way toward winning their loyalty.

6.  You must be fair

A great boss must be a fair and impartial judge.  Playing favorites or allowing personal biases to get in the way of your decision-making is a recipe for disaster.  Judge each person on their individual merits.  Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.  A great boss is able to sort through this to get to the crux of issues.

A part of being fair is acting decisively when others aren’t pulling their weight.  A great boss is capable of quickly handling these circumstances before they blossom out of proportion.

Are you a good boss or a GREAT boss?

These are the things I am striving to do consistently to become a great boss.  I try to measure myself against this list of essentials regularly.  It takes time and experience to become a great boss.  Most of us will make some mistakes along the way.  Don’t let that get you down.  Begin every day with a clean slate and do your best.  The effort will pay off!

What other qualities does a great boss possess?

Photo by Kumar Appaiah

This week I’ve found three fantastic articles that examine striking out on your own from different angles. Together, they will be very useful in helping anyone to decide about becoming an entrepreneur and to organize their thoughts about it. Let’s get started!

Is becoming an Entrepreneur right for you?

Alex Fayle of Someday Syndrome had a guest post up this week at The Change Blog. His post Should I Stay or Should I Go? Determining Whether the 9-5 World Is For You. provides guidance for determining whether self-employment is right for you. I like what he says about knowing yourself. He says:

In my case, I can’t find happiness anywhere else. I’ve tried. Believe you me, I would love to be someone who could find happiness and fulfillment in a more regular work environment.

But I’m just too independent and I hate being pinned down to a schedule. I’d rather struggle to make rent doing my own thing than have lots of money doing something for which I have no passion.

If you’d rather struggle to pay the rent than continue working for someone else, then entrepreneurship may be right for you! Read the article for more great insights!

How do you decide what kind of business to start?

Once you’ve come to at least a fairly firm decision that you want to be self-employed, then the next question is usually, “What should I do?”

You’ve probably read that you should follow your passion and the money will come. Well, Jonathan Fields challenges the idea that you have to identify your one all-consuming purpose before striking out as an entrepreneur in his article, The Life Purpose Lie.

I’ve done a lot of what Jonathan describes below in trying to find my overarching life purpose:

I’ve been told to make lists, journals, check boxes, fill-out forms, stay in dorms, write and re-write for hours and iterations until I bawled in ecstatic revelation (I faked it, so I could go home).

But, like Jonathan, I’ve never really had that ah-ha moment where my life’s purpose jumped up and bit me on the butt.

If you are in this same boat, does it mean that you aren’t cut out for entrepreneurship?

No way! You still may be perfectly suited for starting your own business. You may just need to go on a much longer journey of exploration that is more action oriented. Read Jonathan’s article because he does a better job of describing this than I would.

How do I deal with those that object to me becoming an entrepreneur?

Once you you think you want to start your own business, you have to tell people like your spouse and family. This can be daunting for many because people often object. They want us to do something more normal and safe (as they see it).

Well, Steve at MyWifeQuitHerJob.com provides some great insights on how to handle this in his article, Dealing With People Who Doubt Your Business Ideas.

Steve knows that anytime that you tell others that you are making a big change in your life like starting your own business, there are going to be people (even those that love you) that are going to doubt your ideas.

Steve identifies three types of doubters and gives pointers for how to deal with them. Read Steve’s article to learn how to handle the Gunslingers, Factoids and Mockers.

What have you decided about entrepreneurship?

These three articles should give you a lot to think about. They are full of practical advice and wisdom from people that aren’t just writing about entrepreneurship, they are living it!

So, what do you think? Are you ready to become an entrepreneur?

Photo by Rob Inh00d

Yes, you read the title correctly.  We should really appreciate those that disagree with us.  We should tell the dissenters in our life, “Thank you!”  We should pat them on the back and encourage them to openly disagree with us.  Hearing an opposing opinion before we take any action is very valuable.  In fact, a nonconformist can save our butts.  If everyone around you automatically agrees with everything you have to say, then you have a problem.

This is true in our families, our businesses, and our government.  It works everywhere.  In the board room, in our hospitals, in the halls of Congress, and in our living rooms. This is why our court system is designed so that juries hear two completely separate and opposing opinions.  A good debate is often the best way to arrive at a solid decision or course of action.

Throw out the ‘yes men’ and find a devil’s advocate.

We are drawn to those that tend to think like we do.  It is easy to surround ourselves with people that agree with everything we want to do.  In fact, we often go so far as eliminating people from our life that disagree with our views.  However, this doesn’t always produce the best results.  Let me tell you why we should throw out some of the yes men in our lives and go seek a few that are willing to play the devil’s advocate.

1.  Dissenters make us stop and think.

We need people in our life that will slow us down from making rash decisions.  Someone that offers an opposing view will often make us stop and reconsider our actions.  This delay can be very valuable.  For instance, my wife often plays this role for me when I am thinking of making a significant purchase.  Her willingness to put on the brakes often helps me to avoid impulse buys.  Someone that disagrees usually will make us slow down and reconsider our plan more carefully.

2.  A devil’s advocate helps us to sharpen our stance.

When a person on our team or in our family disagrees with us, then we usually have to respond in some way.  This forces us to be sure our facts and reasoning are correct.  It gives us the chance to sharpen our position.  It may uncover flaws in our thinking or help us to bolster our position even more.  Either way, by having someone disagree with us, we are better off.

3.  An objector puts a halt to group think.

A single dissenter within a group will often give other people the confidence to express their opposition to an idea.  An open discussion results in a better course of action.  People often agree with the boss simply because of his or her position.  Sometimes openly disagreeing is difficult especially when everyone else in the group seems to be going along.  It is important to have at least one person within your team that is willing to express an opposing opinion.  This will help you to stop group think and achieve better results.

4.  Nonconformists prevent costly mistakes.

It takes guts to be the only person to offer a differing opinion.  However, nonconformists are invaluable in certain situations.  Take the cockpit of an airplane or a surgical room in a hospital as an example.  Would you rather everyone on the crew or on the surgical team just go along or would you rather they speak up when they see a potential mistake about to be made?  Mistakes in these situations can cost lives, careers, and tons of money.  We need those that are willing to speak up with a differing view!

We need to change our thinking about dissenters.

I’ll admit that it isn’t easy to like people that often disagree with us, but we really need to give them their due credit.  Without the dissenters, we are liable to make a lot more mistakes.  We need to not just tolerate those with differing opinions, but embrace them.  If we develop the relationship properly, objectors can become our best allies.  Forget the yes man, look for a devil’s advocate!

Do you have someone in your life that offers a different perspective?

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Changing bad habits or addictions is extremely difficult.  We all have our habits that we cling to despite their negative affect on our lives.  We often want to do the right thing, but the harder we try to change, the more we end up giving in to our bad habits.  It can become a destructive cycle in our lives.  So, how do we overcome these obstacles and start creating positive change?  That’s what I’d like to address today.

I’d like to share a few observations from a real-life success story.  Yesterday, I posted An Inspirational Story of Positive Choices and Radical Change.  In this article, a reader of mine, Ryan, told the story of how he overcame his addiction to drugs and alcohol.  He completely flipped his life from one of despair and destruction to a life of growth and hope.  How did he do it?

How to create positive change in your life.

Let’s examine Ryan’s story and see what we can learn about creating positive change.  I think there is a clear progression and that these things apply regardless of what you face.  Your bad habit doesn’t have to be as extreme as drug and alcohol abuse.  It could be smoking, overeating, or losing your temper.  Whatever it is, these lessons from Ryan can help you beat it.

1.  Find something or someone that makes change worth it.

You need motivation to create positive change in your life.  As I mentioned and as you probably already know, change is hard.  However, if we have a good reason to change, then it becomes much easier.  In Ryan’s case, he realized he had to change or his girlfriend was going to leave him.  Many people change bad habits affecting their health for their children’s sake or to avoid divorce.  Whatever it is, you have to find a reason to change that is bigger than the habit.  Do it for someone you love!

2.  Make a firm decision to change and stick to it.

At some point, you have to decide that you are sick and tired of wallowing in your bad habit.  You have to choose a better life for yourself.  No one can do it for you.  You have to face the day of reckoning and decide to take the high road.  I love how Ryan put it.  He said, “That’s when I vowed to change.”  A vow is defined as a solemn promise.  It has to come from your heart.  Addicts often promise to change when faced with consequences, but then fail to follow through.  This decision has to come from deep within you and needs to be backed up with the motivation from #1 above.

3.  Change your friends and surroundings.

You must get away from those things that influence and encourage you in the wrong direction.  If your bad habit is extreme like an addiction, then you need to get radical.  Stop associating with your so-called friends that participate in your bad habit with you.  Ryan stopped going to parties and distanced himself from his friends.  We are all social creatures and the peer pressure is usually too much to resist.  You need to get away to a new environment that will give you the freedom you need to make positive choices.  A pastor of mine that was a recovered cocaine addict said it this way, “You have to change your playmates, playground and play things.” 

4.  Change is gradual so be patient with yourself.

Notice in Ryan’s story that even after he vowed to stop drinking, he was still smoking marijuana.  It took him awhile to realize the extent of his bad habits.  He had to get free of the effects of the alcohol first before he could see what else he needed to change.  You cannot expect yourself or others to change completely overnight.  Most people experience setbacks when they commit to change, but don’t let this stop you.  It is discouraging, but it doesn’t mean you have failed.  It just means that you are human.  Failure only comes to those that give up.  Those that succeed in breaking bad habits and addictions are the ones that are patient and forgiving with themselves.  They learn from their mistakes and move on.

5.  Seek help and don’t believe you can change alone.

We need encouragement and ideas from others to succeed in making drastic changes in our lives.  The support of family, loved ones, and even online friends will help us to stay on track.  It also makes us accountable to someone.  We should share our desire to change with others so we’ll have positive pressure to stay the course.  Ryan found the help he needed on self-improvement websites.  He stated, “Any problem I had someone else had already dealt with.”  This is so true.  We often feel so alone and that our problems are unique.  This is usually not the case at all.  Fortunately, as Ryan discovered, there are a lot of people willing to help.

6.  Experience some success and find renewed hope.

As we begin to change, positive things start happening in our lives.  This gives us a renewed sense of hope.  For Ryan, he quickly saw improvements in his mental faculties when he broke his addiction to drugs and alcohol.  He regained his memory and started applying himself to worthwhile endeavors.  His success has led him to try new things like playing the piano and guitar.  These hobbies have helped him to find new friends to replace the ones he left behind.  It takes time, but by making some good choices, it really is possible to build a whole new life.

7.  Begin helping others get free from bad habits.

Helping others break free will reinforce the new habits you have formed.  It will also give you a sense of purpose.  You will become the one with the experience needed to guide those that need help.  Ryan is telling his story in an effort to give hope to others.  He wants people to know that they don’t have to continue bad habits that are harmful.  They can choose to be free and then help others to do the same.

Bad habits and addictions can be broken.

As Ryan’s story illustrates, it is absolutely possible to be free of the habits and addictions that are holding you back.  Freedom is available to you.  It is a choice you can make.  It is difficult and scary, but it is worth it.  Don’t keep living a life that is less than the best.  Break free of the madness!  Make your decision today to change!

What advice can you offer to those trying to break free from bad habits or addictions?

Photo by notsogoodphotography

More Resources for Creating Positive Change

Forming New Habits – Approach the Goal Gradually
50 Tips From My Year of Change
4 Powerful Tips for Breaking Bad Habits
9 Tips for Restarting a Habit After Falling Off the Wagon

Make a decision and then make it the right one.

The key to success in decision-making is follow-through.  Some decisions once they’ve been made are irreversible.  The difference between success and failure is how well the decision is implemented.  We often beat ourselves up and stress ourselves out trying to decide correctly, but the real work should begin after the decision has been made.  This is when our effort is crucial.  Sure, the path we choose may make our road to success easier or more difficult, but the decision itself seldom determines the outcome.  There are often several different ways to achieve a goal.

I have experienced this personally on a number of occasions.  As a manager and an entrepreneur, I have had to make a lot of decisions.  Sometimes things have worked out like I wanted and sometimes they did not.  I have also observed a lot of others making decisions over the years.  By analyzing these situations, I am beginning to understand that it often isn’t the decision that determines success, but how the leader handles the situation once the decision has been made that determines success or failure.

How to follow-through to increase your chance of success.

I believe that there are steps we can take once we make a difficult decision that will greatly increase the chance our desired outcome will come about.  I have witnessed this and experienced it myself.  Here are the things that I have observed that have increased the likelihood of success.

1.  Champion the cause.

It must be obvious to everyone that you believe the chosen course of action is the right one.  You must be the champion of your own cause.  If the going gets tough, you have to be willing to roll up your sleeves and pitch in to get things back on course.  If a leader fails to demonstrate a commitment to a decision, then why will anyone else?

2.  Always remain positive.

Express confidence in achieving a positive outcome.  We all feel doubt from time to time in our decisions, but you cannot let those you lead see you waver.  You have heard the saying, “never let them see you sweat”.  This is absolutely true when it comes to making sure your decisions work out the way you want.

3.  Rally the troops.

What does a successful football coach do at half-time if his team is behind?  He gives a pep talk.  He inspires his team members to try harder and to give more of themselves.  He reminds them that it is usually the team that is most committed to victory that wins.  Great leaders do the same thing when things aren’t going their way.  This can be a powerful way to turn a situation around.

4.  Seek counsel.

A good leader will seek out others that have been in similar situations to find out how they succeeded.  Going it alone can be disastrous.  Two heads are always better than one.  Even if you believe your situation is unique, it is possible that another person will have a unique view of the situation that might provide the breakthrough that you need.

5.  Tweak your decision.

As time passes, you will gain additional information and insight into the situation.  Use this to tweak your decision to improve your chance of success.  Nothing is off-limits as long as it is honest.  Do whatever it takes to get the results you want.  The ultimate solution make not look anything like your original decision.  This doesn’t matter.  It is the result that counts.

6.  Be patient and don’t stop until you succeed.

Persevere!  Keep working to find a solution until you succeed.  Giving up is the only real failure.  Depending on your situation, it might take days, weeks, or years to achieve success.  It doesn’t matter.  Stay committed and you will reap the reward.

Adopt this attitude toward decision-making to succeed.

Attitude is everything.  Tell yourself, “I have made the decision and now I have to make it the right one.”  Don’t beat yourself up or go back and start overanalyzing how you screwed up the decision.  All that is worthless.  It steals your energy and it wastes precious time.  Stay positive and use the steps above to fix things.  This is what all great leaders do to win more often.

Photo by nerovivo