Every one of us comes into this world with certain things about us predefined.  If you have children, then you know what I’m talking about.

It seems we are born with a certain identity already imprinted on our souls.  We are who we are. 

Yes, we can learn and grow and change certain things about ourselves, but in some instances we are seriously swimming upstream when we desire to become something we are not.

Maybe our job isn’t to try to make ourselves into something, but to simply discover or uncover who we were born to be.

The Notion of the Authentic Self

Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it. 
~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

What do you think of the quote above?  Do you think we are here to “find out who we already are and become it” or can we become anything?

This is another interesting philosophical question to ponder especially in the context of living life to the fullest.  If you were born for a certain purpose, then it naturally seems the only way to achieve the best life possible is to discover and live that destiny.

For me, there is a certain “ring of truth” in Steven Pressfield’s words.  It seems that there are those that certainly have done just what he describes.  For example, names like Helen Keller, Nelson Mandela and Mother Teresa come to mind.

I think these people and many others like them were born for a specific purpose.  Now our purpose might not be as grand as ending apartheid or ministering to India’s poorest, but still I think we were all born with a mission to fulfill.

I also think that our best and happiest life is realized when we stopping fighting against it and go with what we are best at.

Traps that Drag Us Away from Our Authentic Self

It is easy to get way off track in life.  There are a lot of traps out there luring us away from our authentic self.  We get bombarded by these distractions until we start believing one or more of them and then we go off wondering why we are miserable.

Here are a few of the traps that drag us away from our authentic self:

1.  Doing What Others Want Us to Do

Parents, spouses or those with similar influence are often the culprit in this trap.  They have preconceived notions of the life they want for us.  Maybe they want us to live the life they always dreamed of having or maybe they simply believe a certain path will deliver the best results.  Either way, they impose their desires upon us and we fall into the trap of living or at least trying to live someone else’s vision.  This leaves us feeling trapped and unhappy.

2.  Doing What We Should Do

Often we grow up with certain lifestyles being sold to us as the “only way to live”.  These are the things we should do because they are safe, practical and in demand.  For example, maybe you were born to be an artist, but artists often don’t make a lot of money.  So, well-meaning people tell you to pursue your art as a hobby, but get a real career to support your family.  Is this truly living your authentic and best life?  Doing what one should do rarely leads to discovering the real you.

3.  Doing What Is Popular

Following the crowd is not a path to your authentic self.  Of course, there is a lot of pressure to do whatever is popular in the moment.  It is easy to start comparing yourself to others and feeling compulsion to modify your dreams to fit certain fads or fashions.  Don’t do it!  It is best to blaze your own trail.  Resisting this pressure to conform is very difficult.  However, it is essential to avoid a trap that will lead us further from our authentic self.

How to Become the Real You

There are many blocks to becoming the real you.  Overcoming these isn’t easy, but I am convinced that it is essential to living life to the fullest.

If you feel you aren’t living a life that is true to yourself, then I’d offer a couple of suggestions to help you start to uncover who you really are.

First, I’d recommend reading and doing what Julia Cameron suggests in The Artist’s Way.  Your destiny may have nothing at all to do with being a traditional artist, but I still think Cameron’s book can help unlock your inner desires.

Seth Godin defines art as follows, “most art has nothing to do with oil paint or marble. Art is what we’re doing when we do our best work.”  Given this definition, we are all artists and therefore the advice for overcoming creative blocks in The Artist’s Way is applicable for helping anyone to discover their authentic calling.

My second suggestion is to orchestrate a timeout from your current life.  This could be as simple as a few hours in a local park or it could be as sophisticated as a year-long sabbatical.  You need to go to a place where you can be alone to think and be inspired.

You can spend this time reflecting on what you are doing now and how happy or unhappy it is making you.  You can also ask yourself these questions:

1. When I was very young, what did I want to be when I grew up?
2. Does my life resemble these desires in anyway today?
3. What would it take for me to explore these old dreams again?

We are usually the most authentic when we are children and haven’t been quite so influenced by external factors.  It is generally very helpful for us to revisit these old and often dormant childhood desires.  They may hold the key to what you truly were meant to be in life.

Discover Your Authentic Self and Be the Real You

You might be amazed at how far off track you’ve allowed yourself to stray.  However, true happiness and fulfillment is still within your reach.  You just need to spend a little time rediscovering who you really are.  It is never too late to find the artist inside yourself!

Photo by { pranav }

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
~ Henry David Thoreau

I absolutely want to avoid going to the grave with the song still in me.  I guess that’s why I’ve dedicated this blog to ideas for helping people, including myself, live life to the fullest.  I want to be totally used up knowing that I gave living my all.  Therefore, I am always on the lookout for new ways to live a deeper and more meaningful life.  Today I am offering several ideas for getting started in the right direction.  You are sure to find something below that will enrich your life!

1.  Seek to continually improve

I read books and blogs continuously looking for new ways to improve myself and the life I am living.  We can never become complacent.  Life always has more to offer and the only thing holding us back from getting it is our own thinking.  We can completely change our lives by changing our thinking.  We need to constantly look for ways to improve ourselves and our habits.  This will help ensure we get the most out of our lives.

2.  Take responsibility for individual actions.

It is impossible to improve if you do not accept that you alone are responsible for your station in life.  No matter what your circumstances, you choose your response to what comes your way.  By accepting this and deciding to live the very best life possible, regardless of external influences, you are making a giant leap toward a fantastic life.

3.  Live a life of integrity.

Awhile back, I wrote about how doing the right thing is a cornerstone of the good life.  So much of what we accomplish in life is centered around how well we build relationships.  If you don’t live with integrity, then chances are your relationships will not stand the test of time.  There is no way around it.  The truth almost always comes to light and if you are being deceitful, then there will be consequences to pay.

4.  Achieve Freedom from debt.

When we owe other people money, we become a partial slave to them.  A portion of our effort goes toward paying them back.  Our choices in life are reduced because we have a commitment to repay the debt.  We become tied to it.  Are you really free or are you a slave?  Freedom is the path to a good life.  I recently paid off all my debt except for my mortgage.  It feels good to be free!

5.  Give to good causes.

A part of living a meaningful life is taking action to make the world a better place.  This may be in the form of giving your time or money.  We have to invest our lives in worthwhile causes to have a sense of purpose.  Do you feel the way you spend the majority of your time benefits others?  If not, look for ways to start investing in a good cause.

6.  Explore your spiritual side.

Many of us find the true meaning of life in our spiritual beliefs.  What do you believe?  Have you spent enough time exploring this part of yourself?  If you live in the United States, you should not take your religious freedoms for granted.  I am very grateful that I have the opportunity to worship as I see fit.  This adds a tremendous value to my life.

7.  Raise a family.

I think that most parents would agree with me that raising children is one of the most rewarding things they’ve ever done.  Raising a family is hard, but most things in life worth doing are a little tough.  Of course, the rewards far outweigh the work.  Seeing the world again through the eyes of a child is invaluable to restoring your perspective.  No one should go through life without experiencing parenthood.  The love you get from kids will make your heart sing!

8.  Take time to reflect.

It is important to occasionally take an inventory of your life.  Ask yourself, are you doing what it takes to get ahead in life?  Answer these questions honestly.  No one else has to know, but if you can’t be honest with yourself about areas for improvement, then you will remain stuck where you are at.  Our world is so noisy and busy that we often neglect quiet times of reflection.

9.  Be humble.

Nobody likes a snob or a meanie.  As I mentioned above, good relationships are very important to living a meaningful life.  To build more relationships, you need to have a humble and open heart.  If this is an area where you have struggled, then you may need to apologize to repair some past mistakes.  This takes humility, but once you have done it, you will feel like a rock has been lifted from your chest.

10.  Seek adventure.

Adventure is the spice of life.  What do you do for recreation?  We have to recharge our batteries or otherwise we burnout.  The best plan is to develop a regular maintenance plan for our minds to avoid burnout.  I find that a little time out in nature rejuvenates me and helps me appreciate my life.  I tend to make up all kinds of excuses for remaining in a rut, but in reality none of them hold water.  A good adventure always helps to cure what ails me and gives me a new appreciation for a full life.

11.  Find someone to make you laugh.

Laughter really is some of the best medicine.  If you reflect on some of the best times of your life to this point, you will probably remember times when you did a lot of laughing.  This may be why so many singles are looking for mates with a good sense of humor.  They instinctively know that a lot of good laughs will add meaning to their lives.

12.  Express your creativity.

As humans, we were born to create.  Just look around you for a moment and you will see hundreds of products of the human mind.  Unless they are a part of nature, the things that surround you were conceived from the imagination of man.  This process of dreaming things up and then creating them is very satisfying.  If you have trouble in this arena, you may want to look at some ways to rekindle your creativity.

Adding depth and meaning to your life is possible!

These twelve tips should get you started down the road to a deeper and more meaningful life.  There will be lots of twists and turns along the way, but you have to start somewhere.  I would suggest concentrating on one suggestion above for now and then revisiting this list from time-to-time to see where else you can benefit.

What are you going to do to start living a deeper and more meaningful life?

Photo by jurek d