Yes, you read the title correctly.  We should really appreciate those that disagree with us.  We should tell the dissenters in our life, “Thank you!”  We should pat them on the back and encourage them to openly disagree with us.  Hearing an opposing opinion before we take any action is very valuable.  In fact, a nonconformist can save our butts.  If everyone around you automatically agrees with everything you have to say, then you have a problem.

This is true in our families, our businesses, and our government.  It works everywhere.  In the board room, in our hospitals, in the halls of Congress, and in our living rooms. This is why our court system is designed so that juries hear two completely separate and opposing opinions.  A good debate is often the best way to arrive at a solid decision or course of action.

Throw out the ‘yes men’ and find a devil’s advocate.

We are drawn to those that tend to think like we do.  It is easy to surround ourselves with people that agree with everything we want to do.  In fact, we often go so far as eliminating people from our life that disagree with our views.  However, this doesn’t always produce the best results.  Let me tell you why we should throw out some of the yes men in our lives and go seek a few that are willing to play the devil’s advocate.

1.  Dissenters make us stop and think.

We need people in our life that will slow us down from making rash decisions.  Someone that offers an opposing view will often make us stop and reconsider our actions.  This delay can be very valuable.  For instance, my wife often plays this role for me when I am thinking of making a significant purchase.  Her willingness to put on the brakes often helps me to avoid impulse buys.  Someone that disagrees usually will make us slow down and reconsider our plan more carefully.

2.  A devil’s advocate helps us to sharpen our stance.

When a person on our team or in our family disagrees with us, then we usually have to respond in some way.  This forces us to be sure our facts and reasoning are correct.  It gives us the chance to sharpen our position.  It may uncover flaws in our thinking or help us to bolster our position even more.  Either way, by having someone disagree with us, we are better off.

3.  An objector puts a halt to group think.

A single dissenter within a group will often give other people the confidence to express their opposition to an idea.  An open discussion results in a better course of action.  People often agree with the boss simply because of his or her position.  Sometimes openly disagreeing is difficult especially when everyone else in the group seems to be going along.  It is important to have at least one person within your team that is willing to express an opposing opinion.  This will help you to stop group think and achieve better results.

4.  Nonconformists prevent costly mistakes.

It takes guts to be the only person to offer a differing opinion.  However, nonconformists are invaluable in certain situations.  Take the cockpit of an airplane or a surgical room in a hospital as an example.  Would you rather everyone on the crew or on the surgical team just go along or would you rather they speak up when they see a potential mistake about to be made?  Mistakes in these situations can cost lives, careers, and tons of money.  We need those that are willing to speak up with a differing view!

We need to change our thinking about dissenters.

I’ll admit that it isn’t easy to like people that often disagree with us, but we really need to give them their due credit.  Without the dissenters, we are liable to make a lot more mistakes.  We need to not just tolerate those with differing opinions, but embrace them.  If we develop the relationship properly, objectors can become our best allies.  Forget the yes man, look for a devil’s advocate!

Do you have someone in your life that offers a different perspective?

Photo by ashengrove