Why are you so hesitant to move forward?

The time is now.  The day is today.  Stop stalling and start living!

I know that first step looks scary, but trust me, it won’t be as bad as you think.

Moving forward, taking that leap, is the only way that you will ever discover what’s on the other side.

If you continue to hesitate, the door of opportunity may suddenly close.  When it does, you’ll kick yourself for stalling.  Don’t let it happen.  Launch into life!

Where Are You Hesitating?

So, what is it for you?

You stand on the edge looking out at some possibility, but you hesitate to step into it.

It makes you nervous.  It makes you uncomfortable.  It scares you (at least a little).

It seems that if you step through this door, there will be no turning back.

Where you are right now isn’t bad.  That makes this all the harder.

It creates just enough apprehension that you are frozen.  You’re stuck.

A part of you wants it, but another part, isn’t quite so sure.

What is it for you?

• Is it a new job?
• Is it making a new commitment?
• Is it striking out on your own?
• Is it moving to a new place?
• Is it ending something that you know is over?
• Is it starting a brand new thing?
• Is it speaking up?
• Is it stepping out?
• Is it creating change?
• Is it unveiling your masterpiece to the world?

What is it?

Sometimes you don’t even want to say it out loud.  It is there in the back of your mind, but you don’t want to acknowledge it because then you’ll have to admit that you are hesitating.

I understand.

However, I love you too much to let you stay stuck.

It Is Time to Stop Hesitating

Stop telling yourself, tomorrow.  It is too risky.

“Tomorrow you promise yourself will be different, yet tomorrow is too often a repetition of today.”

~ James T. McCay

Tomorrow is most likely going to be a repeat of today.

You will just go with the flow.  You will remain hesitant.

That’s risky.

Because the flow isn’t taking you to where you really want to be.

Call it inertia, momentum or a failure to launch.  Call it whatever you like, but the truth is that tomorrow isn’t good enough and you know it.

Tomorrow might be too late.  Windows of opportunity close all the time.  You and I both know this is true.  I’m sure you are as familiar with regret as I am.  Don’t add another regret to the pile!

It is time to stop hesitating and get on with it.

Look around you.  What opportunity are you about to miss?

Today is the day.

Push yourself over the edge and make today the day you stopped hesitating.

It might feel like a free fall at first, but you will come alive for doing it.

Tomorrow might be too late.

Welcome Back to the Land of the Living!

Once you launch, you’ll feel more alive than you’ve felt in a long time.

Think back to a instance where you took a risk and stepped out into the unknown.

Wasn’t it exhilarating?

I know it was a little scary at first, but after you got over the initial shock, didn’t you feel so alive, so energized?

Don’t you want that again?

It is yours for the taking.  All you have to do is launch.

When you do, you’ll wake up into the land of the living.  You’ll come alive again.

Food will taste better.  Colors will be more vivid.  You’ll be happier.

You just have to exert the initial energy it takes to get the ball rolling.  Once you do, look out, because things will start happening.

If you’ve been hesitant for a long while, it might send your system into shock when you first come alive.

It might feel like you just got hit with 10,000 volts of electricity.

Don’t panic.  Just lean into it and enjoy the wind in your hair.  Welcome back to life!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

You may be standing on the edge looking out on a whole new future unsure about taking that next step.

Or…

You may be stuck in a rut doing the same thing over and over again hoping for better results, but never getting anywhere.

Either way, you need a push.  You need someone to get behind you and give you a really hard shove. The kind that will force you past your fear to a place where you can really live.  I’m here to tell you that you’ve come to the right place.

Sometimes It Takes a Push to Learn to Fly

The other day, I was on Twitter and I saw a post by my friend, Stephen Borgman, who writes a blog called Personal Success Factors.  It contained a quote and here’s what it said:

“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.”

~ Guillaume Apollinaire

I absolutely love this quote.  It is such a perfect picture of what my writing here is all about.  I want to call you over to the edge and give you a push so you can discover that you can fly.

I don’t know exactly why we require a push, but we usually do.  Even when we’ve flown before, we often need a push when we are taking off from a new place.

The fear just creeps in and paralyzes us.  We cling to what is safe and comfortable, but where’s that going to get us? Nowhere.

We have to take that initial leap.  We have to endure that split-second feeling of falling before our efforts start to lift us and propel us forward.

Understanding the Fear that Pins Us Down

Anytime we need to do something different, we are going to have to battle our fears to get there.  Whether you are trying to break a bad habit, start a new relationship or climb to a whole new level in your career, the struggle is the same.

What tries to pin us down is fear.  It is that nagging self-doubt in the back of your mind that says things like:

“Are you sure about this?  You are going to make a complete fool of yourself.  You know that, right?  They are going to laugh at you.  You don’t even belong in this league.  You have no right to even try at this level.  They are going to see right through your little act.  They are going to think you are a total fraud and a loser.  You better just be happy with what you’ve got because if you try this, you just might lose it all.”  ~ Your Lizard Brain

Seth Godin describes this little voice as our lizard brain.  I love this analogy because it is so true to life and useful in understanding how our fear builds and immobilizes us.

If you want to stop someone dead in their tracks just learn what this sinister little inner voice tells them and start repeating it to them.  It is quiet.  It only whispers, but it is powerful.

Tell Me Where You Need a Push

But, there is something the lizard brain doesn’t know.  We were made to fly.

Lizards can’t fly.  That’s why that tiny little part of your brain resists so ardently.  It is completely and totally lizard.  It is stuck on terra firma.  However, you, YOU are a completely different species.  You have wings.

The thing is, until you get a push off the edge, you don’t know that you can fly.  You have no idea what your wings are there for.  You may not even realize that you have wings because there has never been a need for you to use them.

Well, now you’ve come to the right place.  I’m here to push you.  I’m telling you that it is time to fly.

Where do you need a shove?

• In what area of your life do you feel that you could do so much more if you were just given a chance?
• What is it that your heart longs for but your head tells you to tread lightly because you might get hurt?
• What one area of your life causes you the most pain?

This is exactly where you need your push.  This is the place where you can make the most difference in your life.  I know it is scary, but that’s why it is still messed up.  If it were easy, then you would have taken care of it by now.  Yet, it is still there.  Nagging you.  Frustrating you.  Tugging at your heart.

Getting Pushed So You Can Soar

The strength of the push you need is going to vary.  You may just need a plan to help you get going and to encourage you along the way.  You can follow the link I’ve provided and find some plans I’ve hand-selected for you.  Get one and get started if you feel this will work for you.

However, you may need more than just a plan.  If this is something you’ve wrestled with for a long time, then the push you need is the industrial strength variety.  I’m here to tell you that it would do you well to invest in some personal coaching.

You can fly, you just need a little training and encouragement to get you off the ledge.  One of the easiest and most affordable ways I’ve found for you to get the kind of push you need is the Discover Your Passion Mega Makeover Plan offered by Barrie Davenport.  In this bundle, you will get material and coaching that will teach you to fly.  It is an incredibly small investment to make considering what it can do for your life.

You should at least check it out.  (Hint: This is where that little lizard in your head usually starts whispering its nonsense.)  Clicking the link and checking it out costs you nothing.  Baby steps, that’s all you need to take, just baby steps and we’ll get you flying.

What will you do?  Are you going to stay stuck where you are or are you going to finally do something to break free?  The choice is yours.  Leave a comment below and let me know what you decide.  I’d love to hear from you.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Do you trust yourself enough?

On the surface, it is easy to spout off a quick yes to this question, but are you being completely honest with yourself?

Do you trust yourself enough to risk it all or are you hesitant to pursue your dreams with your full vigor?

If you want the best life has to offer, then sometimes you’ve got to step out on the edge and believe that you can make it work.

The Need for High Self Trust

I recently wrote You Have What It Takes: Act Boldly on another site that I do some writing for.  In the article, I challenge you to believe in yourself enough to act boldly.

I say that you are strong enough, smart enough and capable enough to achieve great things.

It is one thing for me to tell you this.  It is all together another for you to believe it and have enough trust in it to actually act upon it.

Nothing ever happens in life until you actually do something.  Until you take that first step.  I’ll admit it is often a leap of faith.  That’s why a high degree of self trust is so incredibly vital.

What You Have Working Against You

When you have a great idea that you want to pursue, your lizard brain starts interfering trying to keep you safe.  It wants you to stay still where nothing bad can happen.

You have to learn to battle these feelings of inferiority and insignificance if you want to break the stalemate and reach a higher level of success.

In order to do this, you’ve got to trust yourself.  You’ve got to rely on the fact that you are strong enough, smart enough and capable enough to see it through even when difficulties arise because they always do.

You see it isn’t really the problems you encounter along the way that generally hold you back from higher levels of achievement.  There are numerous ways to overcome obstacles to success.

So, what does hold you back?

It is your lack of trust in yourself.  You listen to your lizard brain and get scared and then you don’t act on the very ideas that could propel you to what you want.  They are too bold, too risky and they would leave you too vulnerable.  Phooey!  Trust yourself and go for it.

How to Learn to Trust Yourself

A lack of self-trust can begin in many different ways.  Failed relationships, businesses or other endeavors can erode your belief in yourself.  However, I want to assure you that no one succeeds at everything.  Therefore, you are not alone in needing to increase your level of self-trust.

Here are three helpful ways to increase how much you trust yourself:

1.  Actively Forgive Yourself and Others

As I said, no one succeeds at everything.  None of us are perfect.  We all have skeletons in our closets.  Some of yours may haunt your thoughts and create feelings that cause you to doubt yourself.  You need to make it a point to forgive yourself and others for past mistakes.

I encourage you to write down as many of these old missteps and wounds as you can think of.  This can be a cathartic experience.  Get it all out in the open in the light of day.  Once you have all the ones you can think of recorded, and especially the ones that are the most troubling, then actively forgive yourself and others for them.  Vow to never make the same mistakes again and move on.  Burn your list or dispose of it in a manner that symbolizes that you are letting it go completely.

2.  Start a Success Journal

You likely have a tendency to overestimate your failures and underestimate your successes.  To remedy this, I’d highly encourage you to start a success journal.  Keep track of all the times that you succeed at something large or small.  By the way, nothing is too small to write down.  If you feel good about it, then add it to the list.

This process will reassure you that you can trust yourself.  You will see how fast this list grows and you will begin to realize that you really do have a lot of strengths.  This is also an excellent way to zero in on what you are best at.  Leverage these strengths to rise even higher and don’t forget to celebrate all your victories.

3.  Challenge Yourself

What scares you?  Is it heights, public speaking or something else entirely?  Whatever it is, challenge yourself to face it head-on.  For example, I know I have a fear of heights.  One way that I’ve increased my level of self-trust is by purposefully choosing to participate in some adrenaline-pumping adventures that involve heights.  I’ve gone rock-climbing, zip-lining and parasailing.  In each instance, I get really nervous beforehand, but afterwards, I feel powerful because I faced my fear and overcame it.

This is a great way to build self-trust.  By overcoming a simple fear, you reinforce in your mind the idea that you are strong enough, smart enough and capable enough.  You have what it takes!  Through these efforts, you will build the self-confidence and trust needed to do anything.

What do you do to build trust in yourself?  Please share your ideas in the comments below so everyone can benefit.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Are you living fearlessly?

You were made for something special.  You have a dream that you were meant to live. 

Unfortunately, we often hold on to certain attitudes that keep us from pursuing our dreams.  We may not even be aware of these false beliefs.

You need to assess your attitudes to see if one or more of these is holding you back from fearlessly and boldly going for what you really want.

3 Common Attitudes You Need to Beat

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future. ~ Fulton Oursler

These three common attitudes produce fear that lead to regret.  Regret that we didn’t live the full and complete life we truly wanted.  This is why it is so crucial to recognize and beat these attitudes.

Here are the attitudes that keep you from living fearlessly:

1.  The Attitude of You are Not Enough

You may lack confidence that you will succeed.  You may think you are good, but not great.  At least not great enough to really make it at your dream.  It is often easier and definitely a lot safer to simply stay where your are than to risk failure.

For example, you may want to be a writer, actor, musician, engineer, parent, or doctor.  Whatever your dream, you want to be more than what you are right now.  As Amanda writes in I Want to Be Wilder, “I feel like I’m a sleeping person.  I feel drugged and lame and as if I’ve been living under water my whole life.  And I don’t want to anymore.”

Feeling like you are not enough is part of what keeps you in this “drugged and lame” state.  It holds you back.  It keeps you stuck in a state of fear.  It holds you under the water where you move in slow motion.

It is time to break free.  You are enough.  You have everything you need inside you to succeed.  You just need to believe in yourself and start taking bold steps in the direction you want to go.  Is it really this easy?  Yes it is.  In fact, it is the only path toward your dream.  If you face your fear head on, you will be amazed at how you rise up to the challenge.  You need to start believing you are enough.

2.  The Attitude of Maybe Later

It is always more convenient to pursue your dreams later.  You might pair “maybe later” together with one or more of the following:

• When the kids are grown
• When the economy is better
• When I have more money
• When I finish this project
• When I have more time

These are all simply excuses.  They are delays designed to keep you from having to face your fear.  They protect you and make you feel safe because they keep your dream at arm’s length.  They hold it out there where it can’t make you uncomfortable or afraid.

As Barrie points out in The One Simple But Essential Ingredient for Achieving Your Goals, “Boldness is your willingness to follow through on your priority actions regardless of the circumstances that life throws your way on any given day.”

Later will never come.  You have to act boldly now.  You’ve got to step out and make something happen and stop hiding behind the attitude of “maybe later”.  Time passes faster the older you get and one of these days you are going to wake up with a lot of regret if you don’t get going.

There is no reason to delay any longer.  The time will never be perfect.  Recognize that this attitude is simply one of fear.  Shuck it aside and start working on your dream today. 

3.  The Attitude of Scarcity

Finally, you may get tied up with an attitude of scarcity.  Scarcity is the belief that there isn’t enough to go around.  For example, let’s say you want to start a business, but someone else is already doing the same thing in your community.  As a result, you believe you missed your chance.

This is a false belief.  There is plenty for both of you.  You just need to find your niche.  You may be able to offer a slightly different twist on the same thing.  You may provide better service or more unique offerings or an enhanced atmosphere.  Whatever you do to set yourself apart, there is more than enough to go around between the two of you if you are providing something that people want.

Another way scarcity gets us is by thinking we don’t have enough money to pursue our dream.  You may not be able to go for your dream exactly how you imagine it, but what if you get creative?  As Jonathan points out in Are You Ready To Claim the Life You Really Want?, “Until we are willing to adjust the way we do things, it’s unrealistic to think that we can make meaningful changes in our life.”

Instead of going back to school full-time like a teenage college student, you may have to go part-time at night so you can work to pay for school.  Instead of buying a franchise to start a business, you may have to build your dream from the ground up to avoid the overwhelming start-up costs. 

Don’t let a scarcity mentality rob you of your dream.  There are ways to make modifications or adjustments to make it work.  You just need to open your mind to find the right alternative that works for you.  It may not be perfect at first, but at least it is a step in the right direction and isn’t that better than just staying stuck where you are at?  Do not let scarcity hold you back any longer.

Beat These Attitudes to Live Fearlessly

Did you recognize any of these fear-producing attitudes in yourself?  If so, it is time to take a bold step forward.  It is time to push these attitudes aside and reach out for more.  I want you to know without a doubt:

• You are enough. 
• The time is right.
• There is plenty.

Your dream is waiting on you.  Will you live fearlessly?

Photo by Thales

This is a guest post by Lucinda Bassett, author of The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future

Some of my most potent opportunities have come from situations where I was challenged enough to have to do something. I was forced to face my fears and to change, which opened a door to an opportunity I’d never dreamed possible. My fear catapulted me to a whole new level of life experience as it urged me to open the door, look outside the box, and come up with some alternatives that were new and exciting.

3 Actions to Help Control Your Fear in the Face of Change

Glen Hiemstra, our expert futurist, designates three actions that will help you control your fear in the face of challenge and change:

1.  Get Current With the Latest Technology

If you’re not skilled technologically, it’s time to learn some cool networking techniques that will help you connect to other people and the world at large. Then you won’t have the sense that the world is leaving you behind.

2.  Improve Your Personal Communication Skills

Nothing will get you further in life than being able to communicate clearly and directly. Then you can ask for what you want with no confusion.

3.  Complexify Yourself

This made-up word means that you need to discover your array of choices. Glen suggests you find a book on science fiction or management theory and read it. Or find a book on the history of the Great Depression and see how your ancestors coped during difficult times. Whatever attracts you, learn more and become a far more interested and interesting person.

Conquer Fear to Increase Your Sense of Importance

People often say, "You know, I’d really like to do something important. I’d like to be part of something that matters."

If you fear the future, you will ruin your chances of making a difference because you will react to life with paranoia instead of hope. Like a tortoise hiding in its shell, people become so overwhelmed by fear, they are paralyzed, unable to move in any direction. There is a proven neurological response to fear that causes people to shut down at the precise moment when they need to make an important decision. Once the response kicks in, they either can’t make any decision whatsoever, or they make the wrong one based on fearful projections about the future.

The challenge is to stay outside the boundary, Glen tells us, and find some alternatives to unfreeze yourself. You might engage in physical exercise like a hike or a bike ride to try to break up some of the stress. The point is that doing the three actions listed above can open you to change and the possibilities that come with it.

Most successful people do this on a steady basis. Glen regularly tells his groups, "The next twenty years are all about a mission. We’ve become more sustainable on a planetary basis, developing personal economies . . . that are maybe a little bit more modest but mostly just more sustainable, greener, and so forth."

At some time or another, we all must change the way we think, act, respond, and, most of all, the way we view the world and  other people in it. It’s time to stop the thought patterns that keep you stuck, like "I know it won’t work." If that’s your belief, then it won’t. No excuses or reasons for not doing something, no matter how intricately thought out and expressed, can help you get what you want. Embracing challenge and change and turning them into opportunity is the solution.

The above is an excerpt from the book The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future by Lucinda Bassett. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.

Copyright © 2010 Lucinda Bassett, author of The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future.

Author Bio
Lucinda Bassett, author of The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future and President of the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety. is a nationally acclaimed motivational speaker and best-selling author. Her life-changing techniques have been shared with a variety of major corporations such as AT&T and McDonalds, and professional associations such as LPGA and the AIDS Foundation, as well as many educational institutions. She has appeared on hundreds of national radio and television programs including Oprah, The View, Live with Regis and Kelly, and Robert Schuller’s Hour of Power. Bassett and her emotional wellness solutions have been featured in a variety of high-profile publications including Health, Family Circle, Cosmopolitan, and even the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Photo by Zephyrance

Comfort is overrated.  We should not be striving for comfort because personal growth requires us to move beyond our well-worn happy places.

If you haven’t made yourself uncomfortable lately, then chances are you have grown stagnate and complacent.  You are not pursuing life to the fullest anymore.

I say toss out the La-Z-Boy and the television along with it and make yourself uncomfortable!  Let your recliner rot from lack of attention!  Grab yourself a big piece of life and accept that comfort is NOT an option!

Regular People Are Vulnerable to Comfort

As a regular guy, I know that I am susceptible to getting comfortable.  I can easily adopt one the following rampant attitudes:

• I’ve worked hard this week and I deserve a break.
• The time just isn’t right.  I’ll pursue that when the kids are older.
• I don’t have the money to invest in myself right now.
• I’m not trying that.  It sounds like a load of crap to me.
• My wife would think I’ve completely lost my mind.
• That’s just not me.  It might be fine for others, but not for me.
• Where I’m at right now is pretty good and who knows what’s over there.

Let me point out that there may be some truth in one or more of the statements above, but all too often, I simply use them as excuses.  I get used to my comfortable little place in life and begin to think I want to put down permanent roots right where I’m at in my growth.

I’ve been reading The Little House on the Prairie Series of books to my oldest daughter and I’m amazed.  Pa was definitely not a comfort addict.  (By the way, this is a terrific set of books to read to your kids.  It is really amazing how different life was back then!)

Charles Ingalls, aka Pa, would no sooner get his family settled somewhere before he was packing everything up in the wagon to move again.  And this guy wasn’t just taking them to the next neighborhood over.  Oh no, he would move them out onto the wide-open prairie right smack in the middle of Indian Territory where they were completely dependent on their own ability to survive.

Pa wasn’t irresponsible and he didn’t go chasing after half-baked opportunities, but he took chances.  He was constantly seeking a better life for his family and he didn’t let anything stand in his way.  He pursued his dreams and he inspired his wife and kids to go right along with him. 

He didn’t let comfort or naysayers or fear stand in his way.  He was confident in his abilities and he faced life head on.  He didn’t let the comfortable hold him back from something better.

I want to strive to be more like Pa.  He was a regular guy like me and he had a deep desire to live the best life possible.  He never let any of the excuses above hold him back.

It Is the Tractor Beam Opposing Personal Growth

Comfort is often a subtle, but powerful force keeping us stuck in one place.  If you are a science fiction fan, then think of comfort as the tractor beam opposing our personal growth.  It holds us back from moving towards our best life.

“Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.” ~ Sun Tzu

If comfort is our inner enemy, then we must learn how to defeat it.  To win this battle, we must get familiar with how the tractor beam works.

Let’s examine what makes comfort such a powerful tractor beam.  It uses the following tactics:

• Fear – Comfort reminds us that we are pretty happy right where we are or at least we’re in control.  If we start trying to grow, then things might take off in a direction that is irreversible and possibly harmful to us.  Why not just stay right here where things are stable?
• Intimidation – Comfort threatens that our crazy actions will likely cause us to lose what we have.  It tells us that we might be wrong about what we want and if we can’t undo it once we get it started, then we might make ourselves mighty uncomfortable.  Comfort whispers, “You know it is better to just not go there or I might have to take drastic action against you.”
• Resistance – Comfort will enlist the help of others around us to hold us back.  Our trying to grow will often make our spouses, friends or bosses uncomfortable.  They won’t like this so they will resist.  They will try to talk us out of our plans.  They will be difficult and might even pick a fight with us to try to make us give up on our pursuit of growth.  Comfort has allies.
• Embarrassment – OMG, you’re idea is crazy.  What will other people think when they find out?  They will think you are silly.  Why would you risk what you have to go after something so ridiculous.  How are you going to make a living doing that?  If you want to risk your whole reputation on this, then go ahead, but do it without me.  Do you hear comfort talking here?

Get the idea?  Comfort is a crackerjack pro at using whatever it takes to try to talk us out of moving out of the zone.  Recognizing its sneaky, but effective ways is paramount to defeating it.

Of course, comfort is a master liar that will disguise himself as all kinds of things in your mind.  Discover the truth to set yourself free.

The truth is as follows:

The path we have to take to get ahead in life requires that we push ourselves beyond that which is comfortable.  We must accept the risks involved in personal growth.  Continuing to pursue growth is what keeps our relationships, careers and dreams from dying.  Everything else is hogwash.

Kicking Comfort to the Curb and Embracing Life

I’ve said before that if you are facing opposition, then you must be doing something right.  Kick comfort to the curb!  It is seductive and alluring, but lethal to living life to the fullest.  Don’t let it hold you back any longer with its powerful tentacles.  Break free, make some sacrifices and move beyond your comfort zone to discover a whole new world out there just waiting for you to embrace it.

In what area of your life do you most need to make yourself uncomfortable?

Photo by Robert S. Donovan

Living life to the fullest requires one to take risks.  I believe you have to have an entrepreneurial spirit in order to seize every good opportunity that comes your way.

However, you also have to be very discerning because not every door that opens is one that you want to walk through.  This is how people lose their shirts!

When your ship pulls up at your door, will you recognize it and get onboard fearlessly?  This is smart living at its best!

What is an entrepreneurial spirit?

An entrepreneur is a person that:

• Sees opportunity where no one else can
• Takes risks where no one else will
• Experiences success where no one else does

Entrepreneurship is generally associated with business.  An entrepreneurial spirit is an attitude that takes these same abilities and applies them more broadly in life.

It is about seeing the possibility for something great when everyone else is blinded by fear.

Having your eyes open in this way and creatively seeking new possibilities is an absolutely awesome way to live!

My smart living confession: I don’t like to take risks!

I have to admit that this is one of the rules that I still struggle with sometimes.  I’m pretty conservative by nature and I have to really push myself to take big risks.

Despite this, I have ventured into starting my own business and have made several major life changes over the last couple of decades.

I am especially hesitant if the risk involves money or relationships.  I don’t like to lose money and I can be fairly introverted around people I don’t know.

I realize my risk avoidance sometimes impedes my own smart living, but it is hard to overcome.  I really have to force myself to step out of my comfort zone in these two areas.

Regarding money, I come up with business ideas, but then become hesitant to pursue them because of the initial investment that’s involved.  I know that startups are risky and the thought of several thousand dollars evaporating before my eyes is quite honestly paralyzing at times.  I hate to have to admit this, but it is true.

When it comes to socializing, networking and relationship building, I can be pretty timid in this area as well.  I know that good opportunities often come as a result of who you know, but I hate to ask people for things.  I don’t know if it is fear of rejection, lack of social confidence or something else, but it haunts me.

Of course, acknowledging my hesitancy in these areas helps because I know I have to take specific steps to pursue good opportunities when they arise.  I’ve found the best way to overcome my limitations in this area is to just power my way through it.

I take risks in these areas despite my fear because I know it is a part of smart living!

How I evaluate risks to pursue good opportunities

Given my reluctance to take risks in certain areas, I have to have a good system for evaluating risks so I can decide when to really push myself.

Recognizing a good opportunity from a bad one is paramount to living life to the fullest.

Having a decision-making system for evaluating risk is priceless.  It takes a lot of the emotion out of the process which helps me to control my fear.

Here are the steps that I go through to identify good opportunities:

1.  I ask myself some tough questions about the opportunity

I have found these 10 questions to be very effective in helping me to sort out good opportunities from passing fads.  They have saved me from going down what would have surely turned out to be some tragic mistakes.

2.  I employ time-tested strategies for making the right decision

I use six strategies to help me make the right decision.  This technique has proven effective in my personal and professional life.  Using these same strategies for decision-making keeps things consistent and on an even keel.

3.  I get the opinion of others that I trust

I always run ideas past my wife and others whose opinion I value and trust before I pursue a risky venture.  I also ask myself what people like Dave Ramsey would do.  This helps me collect valuable insights that I might have otherwise missed.

Once I’ve completed these three simple steps.  I usually have a very clear picture of whether an opportunity is a good one or not.  The trick then is to go with what I know is right!

Assignment: Develop an entrepreneurial spirit

Here is your homework to start putting this rule for smart living to work!  These steps will help you to start exploring good opportunities as they arise.

1. Pinpoint your reluctance – As I mentioned earlier, it is important to recognize what causes you to hesitate when good opportunities arise so you can devise strategies to overcome it.  We can master our fear if we are aware of how it limits us.  Read these articles to help become honest with yourself about your hesitancy.

   Cure Your Fear To Get The Most Out of Life!
   Five Great Ways to Conquer Your Fears
   Inferiority Complex- Toss Out Feelings of Insignificance

2. Teach yourself to accept risk – Start small, but find some things that you consider to be risky and do them.  Ask your boss for a raise or go on a spur of the moment vacation or start a blog!  Facing the unknown is the beginning of developing an entrepreneurial spirit.  Try this and you are likely to find a new sense of excitement and control in your life!
3. Embrace the entrepreneurial spirit – Find someone with an entrepreneurial spirit to look up to and follow their lead.  For me, having one or more role models is very helpful.  It emboldens me and let’s me see that risk really does pay off!

Smart living means pursuing good opportunities fearlessly!

I’m not there yet, but I know that accepting risk and pursuing good opportunities is a powerful and essential part of smart living.  It is one of the rules that I will continue to explore for myself. 

What advice can you offer to help?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

Follow this link to discover all the rules for Smart Living.

Photo by FreeWine

I don’t care how old you are.  I ask you to take a moment and really think about that question.  When you were a kid, did you hope to be an astronaut, a model, a painter, a princess, a cop, an army man, a mother, a father, a lawyer or maybe a doctor?  What was it back then?

As kids we often act out the things that we dream of becoming.  We play house or we imagine ourselves as rock stars.  As we get older, these dreams often seem silly and completely out of touch with reality, so we put them away.

But, should we?!?

Instead, maybe we should pull out our old dreams again, dust them off and look at them a little closer.  However, this isn’t always easy.

Why I’m pondering what I want to be when I grow up

I recently bought The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron.  This book is a comprehensive 12-week program designed to help you recover from a variety of creative blocks.  Basically, it helps you unblock and rediscover your inner artist, but I am hopeful that my unleashed creativity can be used in a wide-variety of settings.

I’m just getting started with the program, but one of the first assignments is to think back to when you were a kid and to name five things that you wanted to be when you grew up.  I believe the intention is to help you open yourself up to your dreams from childhood.

How your Censor stifles your dreams and robs you of a better life

However, there is another interesting thing that arises in doing this exercise.  You start hearing from your inner Censor as Cameron calls it.  As I started recalling a few things I wanted to be, I heard the Censor in my head say things like:

• “That’s ridiculous, you can’t make a living doing that.”
• “You can’t sing.  Your voice is terrible!”
• “Are you kidding?!?  You’d never be brave enough to even try it!”
• “You can’t do that now.  You are too old!”
• “That’s totally unrealistic!  You’re foolish for even thinking about it.”

The odd thing is, apparently, I’ve grown very comfortable with my Censor.  Generally, I don’t even recognize he’s there lurking around.  I have to really tune into my Censor to consciously hear his whispers.

This process was very revealing and kind of scary at the same time.  In what ways is my Censor holding me back as I try to live life to the fullest?  I have to admit it is in bigger ways than I probably want to acknowledge. 

In addition, it is obvious that if this simple exercise of just recalling my dreams from childhood can aggravate my Censor, then he is likely to be working overtime when I’m really wanting to step out there and be creative!

Therefore, it is time to defeat the Censor!

The 5 things I want to be when I grow up

I don’t want my Censor to hold me back!  I want to overcome the doubts and fear that he constantly stirs in my mind.  Therefore, I’m going public with my list of things that I want to be when I grow up! 

I’m going to show my Censor that I’m not too afraid to step out there.  I am going to express my creativity and dreams whether they make any logical sense or not.  This is my act of defiance!

Here are the 5 things I want to be when I grow up:

1.  A fighter pilot

I love the movie Top Gun.  I know it seems kind of corny, but that movie fires me up for some reason.  Real fighter pilots have to train, discipline themselves and work too hard for me to dream about being one of them, but a movie star fighter pilot?  That’s right up my alley! 

I want to be launched off an aircraft carrier and roar into the wild blue yonder!  I want to kick in the afterburners and feel the power behind the rocket sled that I have strapped to my body!  I want to perform graceful acrobatic moves in the sky with no limits or boundaries!  I want to wear that cool helmet with the dark visor!  I want to be a fighter pilot when I grow up!
Photo by Lietmotiv

2.  A race car driver

Zooming around a track at hundreds of miles per hour has always intrigued me.  The feeling of speed and power must be intoxicating!  In addition, it has got to feel pretty dang fine standing in Victory Circle being hailed as the winner of a great race like the Indianapolis 500.  That’s the way to live!

I imagine that most boys have dreamed of being a race car driver at one point or another in their childhood.  It is just too alluring with the roar of the engines and all the excitement.  Racing is a sport of pure adrenaline!  I want to be a race car driver when I grow up!
Photo by Ford Racing 

3.  A country music artist

Who hasn’t dreamed of being a performer on stage?  I’d love to entertain a crowd like Garth Brooks used to do.  Brooks has been named the Academy of Country Music’s Entertainer of the Year an incredible six times!  I want to know what that kind of adulation feels like!

I always envisioned myself on stage with a microphone and guitar with thousands of screaming fans hanging on every note.  The emotion and thrill from pleasing that big of a crowd on a nightly basis has to be truly exhilarating!  I want to be a country music artist when I grow up!
Photo by TheAlieness

4.  A starship captain

Okay, okay, I admit this one is pretty geeky sounding, but I idolized Captain James T. Kirk back when I watched Star Trek.  Kirk was amazing in his ability to think his way out of impossible situations on faraway planets.  His macho bravado as Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise was the stuff of my dreams!

I loved the confidence that Captain Kirk displayed no matter how unfamiliar or ridiculous the challenge was before him.  He commanded the respect of his crew and proved he deserved it over and over again.  His accomplishments were well-known throughout Star Fleet!  I want to be a starship captain when I grow up!
Photo by Foxtongue

5.  A writer

Finally, I dreamed of being a writer when I was kid.  I thought it would be incredibly cool to publish a book.  My best friend and I in the eighth grade had an idea for a science fiction book that we were going to co-author.  We should have done it!

I admire authors!  I have a friend that has published several fictional books.  I am often amazed at her creativity!  I sometimes wonder how she can dream up entire stories that fill hundreds of pages.  The cool thing is that she does it over and over again!

Writers get to paint pictures and steer people’s imaginations with their words.  The pen is mightier than the sword!  Of course, I actually get to live out this dream in a small way as I write this blog!   However, I still want to be a writer when I grow up!
Photo by mkosut

Dream about what you want to be when you grow up!

As an adult, it is often hard to let go of reality and logic for a few moments to really dream about what we want to do with our lives.  I’ll admit it made me a feel a little silly and uncomfortable writing this.  It is easy to imagine others being quick to judge me.

However, I strongly want to silence my inner critic because I believe he robs me of greater fulfillment and achievement in my life.  I want to unleash my creativity and let my imagination run wild so I can live life to the fullest!

What do you want to be when you grow up?  Leave a comment and let me know!

Often, when we take up a cause of any kind, we find others standing up against us.  Being the initiator or champion of change is a difficult job!

The conflict from such opposition is often tiring and discouraging. 

However, we should view it in a completely different light.  We should be thankful for it!

Why people offer opposition to our efforts

A lot of people seem to despise change even if it is ultimately for the better.  Change implies a move in a new direction into the unknown.

Spouses can fear us seeking a new job or starting our own business.  Employees can fear reorganizations or changes in compensation plans.  Whole segments of society can fear changes in immigration or gun control laws.

People often imagine the worst case scenario when they picture change in their mind.  Therefore, they resist and oppose such change.

They will argue with you.  They will stall.  They will attempt to create roadblocks.  They will whine.  They will fuss.  They will incite others against you.  They will often do everything in their power to obstruct, disrupt, dissuade, discourage and delay whatever it is you are doing that they don’t like.

It is exhausting trying to stroke these people and calm their fears.  However, it is essential to accomplish your bigger objective.

The good news about facing opposition and resistance

People that are facing such opposition are the very ones that are making good things happen in our businesses, families and government.  They refuse to just go along with the status quo.

Change just for the sake of change is no good, but those that can influence an organization or family to change for the better are the kind of leaders we need.

These leaders of change are the kind of people that earn the big bucks.  They are the kind that get to stick around during a layoff and they are the ones that get promoted.

So, the good news is that if you are facing opposition, if you are ruffling people’s feathers by pushing them to get better, then you must be doing something right!

Congratulate yourself because you are on the right path!

On the other hand, if your days are peaceful and easy, if you seldom feel anyone pushing back against what you are trying to accomplish, then you should be worried.

You probably need to step it up a notch.  You need to turn up the tempo.  You need to go out and find a cause to make your own.

Find a cause, make a stand and welcome the opposition!

Complacency is peaceful, but it is dangerous.  It is seriously more threatening to your well-being than any resistance you might encounter.

Do not let another day go by without stirring up some resistance by initiating meaningful and needed change!

If you are already feeling the opposition, then sit back for a moment and smile.  You are on the path to success!

What have you done lately that was met with opposition?  Let me know!

Photo by rocketjim54

That’s kind of a silly question because we all do.  At least, I think everyone else does or maybe I’m just weird.  It’s probably just me.  I’ve always been kind of a loser.

Isn’t that how it normally goes?  Your brain just kind of runs away on you.  One minute everything is fine and the next you feel totally small and insignificant.

Why do we do this to ourselves and how can we avoid it?

We need to battle feelings of insignificance to be successful

Feelings of inferiority undermine our success.

Our doubts about ourselves rob us of the confidence we need to take the action necessary to achieve positive things in our lives.

In other words, feelings of insignificance lead to doubt which grows to fear.  Fear paralyzes us preventing us from taking action.

Success requires action.

It doesn’t really matter how you define success.  It requires you to DO something to get there. 

When we are constantly battling feelings of inferiority and insignificance, you aren’t likely to take the appropriate steps to get to where you want to go. 

Therefore, in order to live a full and rewarding life, we must learn to quiet the negative voice in our heads that pulls us down and step forward toward where we want to be.

Do you have an inferiority complex?

First, let’s deal with the worst case scenario.

Most of us probably don’t really have a true inferiority complex.  Generally, this condition is characterized by extremely low self-esteem and insignificance.

If you are concerned that you might suffer from an inferiority complex, then please take a look at the 7 Signs You Have An Inferiority Complex to evaluate yourself.

Again, many of us have feelings of inferiority to a lesser degree from time-to-time, but if you are one of the few that regularly and strongly identifies with the seven signs, then I would encourage you to seek some professional counseling.

It is possible to free yourself from an inferiority complex so you can live a more full and happy life, but you probably need some assistance to get back on the right path.

With just a little help from a good counselor, you will develop a healthy self-image which will give you the confidence to live a happier, more fulfilling life!

How to deal with occasional feelings of insignificance

Okay, so you don’t have an inferiority complex, but you still battle feelings of insignificance and insecurity once in awhile.

How do you overcome some of this so you have the confidence to step up to the next level of fulfillment in your life?

Here are some ideas that might help:

1.  Learn to recognize when the negative talk in your head starts

Becoming acutely aware of your own negative self-talk is important.  Isn’t it odd that we are often our own worst enemies?  Your thoughts are your own.  Acknowledge what you are doing to yourself, learn to consciously hear it when it starts and then refuse to continue beating yourself up.  Easier said than done, but worth the effort!

2.  Train your brain to think and respond more positively

Our minds operate on the garbage in, garbage out principle.  Feed your mind positive, affirming information and it will respond in kind.  Have you ever tried positive affirmations?  Don’t laugh until you’ve given it a shot.  I’ve used sound recordings of positive affirmations and they seem to me to work.  They are like a vitamin for your self-confidence!

3.  Find yourself a personal cheerleader

When you set out to accomplish an important project, find yourself a cheerleader.  I’m not talking about the kind that wears short skirts and skimpy tops either.  You need someone that will reassure you and encourage you through those moments of doubt.  This is why Alcoholics Anonymous uses sponsors.  Everyone needs someone cheering them on when they are facing a crisis in self-confidence.

4.  Make a detailed written plan

I don’t know exactly why, but somehow writing out a plan takes some of the scariness out of challenging situations.  Maybe it takes some of the emotion of of it.  Whatever it is, it works.  It also serves as a way that your cheerleader can help hold you accountable.  This positive pressure will push you beyond the fear that traps you in procrastination.

These steps will help you overcome feelings of insignificance

I have found that by following the tips above that I have been much more successful in achieving my goals.  Every step gets me a little closer to the success I desire.

Don’t continue to let your thoughts run wild!  Those whispers of doubt have a bigger impact than you think.  Getting past them will unleash a level of success you haven’t previously experienced!

How do you overcome your feelings of insecurity and insignificance?  Let me know!

Photo by *Zara