Are you serious about wanting to live a better life?

Too many people run around today whining and moaning about how boring, unfulfilling and stagnate their life is, but fail to do anything about it. 

I’m going to challenge you to take action.

There is more meaning, opportunity and satisfaction out there for you.  You just need to set out in an intentional way to find it.

The Problem You May Be Facing

Many people are living a life that is well below their potential.  Deep down inside, they know this.  They know their life is too small, but they don’t know what to do about it. 

Is this you?  Do you feel there just has to be more to life?

I think a lot of people are in the same boat.  We live what we might call a “pretty good life”, but it doesn’t live up to our expectations.  We wish there was more.

You may be bored.  You may be uninspired.  You may feel stuck or trapped.  You see and hear about others that seem to be enthusiastic, excited and full of life, but this is just not the way you feel.

How did you get here?  Well, it probably just snuck up on you.  You did what you were supposed to do, went to school, started a career, got married, had kids and now you are wondering:

• How do I find the life that was meant for me?
• When am I going to get to experience adventure, achievement and fulfillment? 
• When do I get to be really happy? 

Well, there is only one way you can grab hold of this brass ring.  You have to take action and make it happen for yourself.  You’ve got to reach out in a very intentional way.  You can’t be passive any longer.  The life you want is out there.  You just need to seek it out and go for it.

Only Serious Seekers Should Read Past Here

I’ll ask you again, “Are you serious about wanting to live a happier, more fulfilling life?”  If you are, then keep reading.  If you want to wallow in your misery, make excuses and complain, then please go do that somewhere else.  This is not the place for it.

As I said, I’m going to challenge you today to take action to change your life for the better.

Nothing is ever going to be any different unless you make a stand and demand more from your life than what you are asking from it right now.  No one is going to hand it to you on a silver platter. 

It is all up to you.  Are you up and ready for the challenge?  Good.

I’m going to offer you an opportunity to start rediscovering who you really are and what will make you feel happier and more fulfilled.  Again, this is up to you.  You can either pursue this opportunity or pass on it.  If you are truly serious about wanting a better life, you’ll likely recognize this as the chance you’ve been waiting for.  My hope is you will grab it.

Discover Your Passion to Live the Life You Always Wanted

Barrie Davenport has developed a step-by-step eBook course designed to help you start over.  It will take you back to the beginning and allow you to rediscover who you really are and what steps you can take to claim that passionate, meaningful life that you really want.

For over 25 years, Barrie was a public relations professional, working in corporate, agency and non-profit settings, as well as running her own public relations consultancy.  However, a few years ago, she decided to make a break for it and pursue her true passion.

Barrie is now a career and life transition coach, partnering with people who want to make amazing changes in their lives and bloom fearlessly.

The Course That Will Change Your Life

I’ve had a chance to read over Barrie’s course and I think it is brilliant.

It is so good that I’m recommending it to you as a fantastic way for you to break free from your stagnation and to start to live the life you’ve always wanted.

I challenge you to click here and learn all about Barrie’s terrific eBook course.

She has done a great job of explaining all the details on her site so, I won’t duplicate her effort here.  You are better off reading all about it directly from Barrie.  Once you’ve done so, then you can make an educated decision for yourself.

Don’t Dismiss This Opportunity to Discover Your Passion

I just hope you won’t pass by the opportunity that is being handed to you.  Doubt and fear often creep in and steal away these fortuitous occasions when someone reaches out a hand and tries to pull you up to a higher level.  Please don’t let that happen to you.

As Barrie writes about on her site, sometimes you have to take risks and live boldly if you want to bloom into your full potential.  Please think hard about taking this risk!

Just to deal with one possible concern, I want to be completely transparent here.  It is true that if you click the link above and decide to buy Barrie’s course, she shares a portion of the proceeds with me to support this site.

However, I want to assure you that I am very picky about the resources I recommend in this manner regardless of what compensation is being offered.  Also, I want you to know that it costs you absolutely nothing to click the link and check it out for yourself.  You make the final decision about whether or not this is right for you.  In addition, if you desire, you can click here to read my full disclosure statement.  Now go check out Barrie’s course!

Photo by biewoef

Why would you waste another day living less than the very best life possible?  Henry David Thoreau tells us, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” 

Is this going to be you?  Are you living up to your full potential or are you living a life of quiet desperation?

Your best life is out there for you to pursue, but no one is going to do it for you.  Not your boss.  Not your spouse.  Not your children.  Not anyone.  If you want more out of life, then you’ve got to wake up, take charge and make it happen.

Make a Plan for a Better Life

He who fails to plan, plans to fail
~ Proverb

How do you start living a better life?  You become very intentional.  You design your future.  How do you do this?  By making a very specific plan.  Without a plan, you will be tossed by the currents and who knows where you will end up.  It likely won’t be where you intended.  Are you going to let your life get away from you like this?  Maybe it already has to a degree.  Why not get it on track and keep it there?

There are probably a million variations on how you can go about creating a specific plan for your life, but here are three components that I think nail it down pretty well.

1.  Creating A Life List

Nothing happens unless first we dream.
~ Carl Sandberg

A life list answers questions like these:

• What do you want to do with your life?
• Where do you want to live?
• How do you want to spend your time?
• What are your dreams?
• What causes are important to you?
• How much money do you want to make?
• What kind of job do you most desire?
• What kind of home do you want to own?

A life list is basically a complete vision for your life put together one puzzle piece at a time.  To paraphrase Stephen Covey, “To get what you want, you must begin with the end in mind.”

2.  Setting Unambiguous Goals

What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Once you have your life list, then you can start to build a series of unambiguous goals.  You write out as specifically as possible what you want and when you will get it.  For example, if you want to buy a house, you say, “I will own a home by January 1, 2012.” 

Some of your goals will be short-term and some will be long-term.  That’s okay.  The main thing is that you get down on paper what you really want out of life.  This charts a specific course.  This definiteness of purpose will set in motion a flow of energy that will propel you forward.  You’ll be amazed at how fast you make meaningful progress in the direction you want to move once you have your goals clearly stated.

3.  Defining an Action Plan

Action is the antidote to despair.
~ Joan Baez

Once you have translated your life list into unambiguous goals, then you need to decide on what concrete steps you need to take to bring your goals into reality.  This means putting together an action plan.  For each of your goals, ask yourself, “What action steps do I need to take to accomplish this goal?”

Writing goals is powerful, but without action, it is all for naught.  You have to act if you want anything to really change.  You have to plunge the shovel into the earth if you want to dig a hole.  Once the course is charted, then act with courage and purpose to bring your life list into reality.  Dreams are realized one small action at a time.

Stand Up and Make It Happen for You

Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.
~ Doug Firebaugh

Putting together a life list, writing out goals and defining an action plan sounds simple, but it isn’t always easy.  If it was, then more people would be living the life they really want.  You would already have everything you desire.  There would be no need for me or anyone else to even mention all this, because we’d all be enjoying wonderful, satisfying lives. 

But, that’s not really the case is it?  No.  Instead, most of us, maybe even you, are leading a life of quiet desperation.

It is time to stand up.  It is time to make a plan for living the life you really want.  It is time to reach out and get a little help to put things on the right track toward your full potential.

I have a suggestion that will help you do all this.  To give yourself a leg up, buy a copy of How to Live Your Best Life: The Essential Guide for Creating and Achieving Your Life List.  This is the best workbook I have ever discovered for walking people through creating the life they really want.

Because I feel this ebook is such a great resource, I have negotiated a special offer with Marelisa for my readers.  For everyone else, she recently raised her price to $14.60 and believe me it is worth every penny of that, but to make this decision easy for you, I have asked that she give you one more chance to buy this terrific ebook at her introductory price.

Special Offer Details

Click here and enter supercharged as your discount code during checkout and you’ll get the $9.50 introductory price until August 31, 2010.  This is 35% off the regular price!

There is no risk involved.  If you aren’t 100% satisfied, then you have up to 60 days to notify Marelisa and she will refund your money, no questions asked.  This is a deal that can’t be beat.  You can buy the ebook at a terrific discount and receive a money-back satisfaction guarantee.  What have you got to lose?

To be totally transparent, I want to tell you up front that out of her generosity, Marelisa shares a percentage of her sales with me to help support this site, but even if she didn’t, I would still recommend her book to you because it is truly that good.

Stop Making Excuses and Start Living

Heaven never helps the man who will not act.
~ Sophocles

You have no excuse for living in quiet desperation for another minute.  It is up to you.  What will you do?  Will you stay where you are and continue down this path or will you reach for change?  I’ve done everything I can do for you.  What will you do for yourself?

You have been presented here with an opportunity.  Will you recognize it?  Will you act upon it?  Many will not.  They will make up yet another excuse.  They will choose to believe negative things.  They will let their so-called rational minds talk them out of it.

However, a few will act and those few will realize the benefits.  They will start to move themselves toward a better life.  They will smile knowing their song will be sung.  What will you do?  I hope you’ll make it happen.

Photo by paul (dex)

There is nothing wrong with wanting a good life.  In fact, I am passionate about living life to the fullest.  However, it is through my quest for the best that I began to see how the prosperity we enjoy in our country has a cost that we don’t always take into account.

The prosperity I’m speaking of is the wealth of products, food, services, conveniences and labor being offered and even pushed upon us every day.  We have just been through a recession and still, there is no shortage of goods and services available.

Ten Problems I See with Prosperity

"Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance."
~ John Petit-Senn

Prosperity has many advantages, but it also has drawbacks.  If we truly want to realize the promise of financial freedom, then we need to deal with the problems prosperity creates.

These issues are fairly recent developments because the prosperity we enjoy has only been around for the last 50 years or so.  For most of history, scarcity has ruled.  People had to scrape to get by so these problems didn’t exist.

In the United States and in many other countries, there is an abundance of everything.  We have more than we could ever need.  Of course, as I said, this comes with a price.

1.  It seduces many onto the treadmill of constantly wanting more

"Whoever dies with the most toys wins."  REALLY?!?  Are we still buying into this?  People have more material possessions now than ever before, but they aren’t any happier.  Yet, we still chase the lie.  We overspend and go into debt thinking that the next thing is going to be the thing that fulfills us.  Oh, how I have fallen for this one!

It is sad really that so many are on this never-ending treadmill.  Where will our consumerism end?  When will we have enough?  The abundance of items to buy and own is seductive.  I constantly fight against it.  Why can’t I just be happy with the house, vehicle and stuff I own?  People in other countries would kill to have what I have.  My prosperity often robs me of my satisfaction in life.

2.  It lulls us into a false sense of security

Have you noticed how skills like sewing, gardening, knitting and canning are dying?  What’s next?  It might be cooking, walking and conversation.  The prosperity we enjoy, especially in our urban sprawl, has lulled us into a false sense of security.  When I need something to eat, I hop in my car and speed over to Taco Bell.  When I need to communicate with a friend or co-worker, I send them an email or text.  I am losing my sufficiency to survive without having the essentials handed to me on a silver platter or plastic tray.

What happens when people are temporarily cutoff from the conveniences of modern society?  There is chaos and anarchy.  Take a look at what happened in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.  Prosperity has made us dependent on the very systems that have made us so rich.  However, these conveniences are susceptible to interruption.  Our prosperity gives us a false sense of security that sometimes causes us to think we are helpless.  I hate this.

3.  It causes us to judge others harshly

We can easily start looking down our noses at other people that aren’t doing as well as us financially.  I’ve definitely caught myself judging others more harshly than I should.

If you are trying to live a debt-free lifestyle, have you ever caught yourself judging someone in the checkout line for using a credit card to buy a big ticket item like a flat-screen television?  I know I have.  Is this right?  Do I really know their circumstances?  Maybe the person has plenty of money to pay the bill when it arrives.  Perhaps they get additional warranty coverage for putting it on their card.  Isn’t it their choice?  It is easy to become a financial snob when we start to prosper.

4.  It is easy to start thinking that people owe us something

For some reason that I have yet to identify, my prosperity makes me start feeling entitled.  I think I deserve what I have and I start believing I am owed even more.  Only in countries like ours where there is plenty do we seem to be willing to forfeit our sufficiency and want others to take care of us.

Entitlement erodes the work ethic and discipline needed to create real financial freedom.  It makes us lazy.  Slowly, but surely this will cost us.  I look at how the unions have driven the automakers to the brink of bankruptcy.  Their abundant salaries and benefit packages have almost cost them everything.

5.  It makes us cold-hearted

When you have a lot, you have a lot to lose.  Therefore, I cling tightly to what I have.  I become afraid that someone might steal from me or abuse what I give them so I keep it all close.  It is a fact that rich people give smaller portions of their money to charities.  I am not rich compared to many, but I still find myself hoarding what I have.

You would think that out of our prosperity that we would want to help others, but the opposite is generally true.  Is it better to prosper if it makes us cold-hearted toward the needs of others?  I wonder.

6.  It creates isolation and loneliness

Do you know your neighbors?  I barely know mine.  Prosperity gives us the illusion that we don’t need anyone else.  Labor and goods are plentiful.  We don’t have to rely on our neighbors for their assistance so we never get to know them.  We open our garage doors and zoom away from our homes without even offering more than a cursory wave to the people that live next door.

In scarcer times, people had to work together as a community to survive.  They needed each other.  One guy couldn’t build his house all alone.  It just wasn’t physically possible.  He had to get to know his neighbor even if the guy lived a mile away.  In our prosperous society, many of us feel lonely and isolated because we aren’t compelled to get to know each other.

7.  It creates confusion and stress

I think we have too many choices nowadays.  Have you been down the cereal aisle at the supermarket lately?  Do we really need that many different cereals?  Prosperity creates confusion and stress.  It was easier and less time-consuming when there were fewer things to choose between. 

Of course, it isn’t just cereal that’s the problem.  It is the same with everything from shampoo to automobiles.  Is it really necessary to have a hundred different kinds of toothpaste?  Only because of our abundance do we have to deal with these dilemmas.

8.   It is horrible for the environment

You have heard it said before that our society is a throwaway society.  We dump even what used to be considered durable goods like televisions and printers as soon as they have even minor issues.  It is usually more expensive to fix these devices than to replace them.  This is a side-effect of our prosperity.

I feel guilty about the amount of stuff that I chunk in the garbage instead of repairing or reusing.  There used to repair shops all over the place that fixed all kinds of things.  If you don’t remember them yourself, then surely you have seen them on T.V.  I wished these were still around.

9.  It wastes our time and space

We spend an inordinate amount of time maintaining, storing, rearranging and organizing all our stuff.  We have so much stuff that a whole industry arose to accommodate our extra stuff.  According to Wikipedia, "There is more than 2.35 billion square feet of self storage in the U.S., or a land area equivalent to three times Manhattan Island under roof."

Why do we keep it all?  Why do we acquire it all in the first place?  It is a disease that keeps spreading as a result of the prosperity we "enjoy".  I spend time every year helping my wife conduct a garage sale.  So, I not only waste time and money getting stuff, but getting rid of it too!  Senseless!

10.  It causes us to feel guilty

When you see places like Haiti, the prosperity we enjoy can create a sense of guilt.  At times like this, I feel guilty that I have so much when others have so little.  I’m appalled at the conditions I’ve witnessed on the evening news.  However, I’ll admit that I’ve done little to help.

These are all problems I see with prosperity.  I’m not advocating an Amish lifestyle by any means.  I enjoy my luxuries and creature comforts as much as the next guy, but where does it all end?  Are we letting the prosperity in our country ruin us and rob our lives of true pleasure?

I’m working hard to sort this out.  I want a life that’s sensible, enjoyable and fulfilling.  I don’t want to be a slave to my stuff.  I want prosperity without all the problems.

What problems do you see with all this prosperity?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

Photo by Damian Morys Foto

We all have a lizard brain.  It is part metaphor and part science.  Scientifically speaking, it is two almond-shaped amygdala located deep in our heads that form a sort of mini-brain.

This mini-brain seems to take over when we are afraid, mad, aroused, hungry or out to get someone.  It is very primitive.  It has served to keep us alive as a species for a long time, but our lizard brain can also work against us.

It creates what Seth Godin calls the Resistance in his latest book, Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?  Our Resistance is a combination of fear, procrastination, anxiety and rationalization generated by our lizard brains to protect us, but these responses also often rob us of a great life.

How Our Lizard Brain Controls Us

Have you ever had a really great idea, but failed to act on it?  That’s the lizard brain doing its thang.  It holds us back.  It wants to keep us hidden, still, undetected and safe.  The lizard brain talks us into staying where life is comfortable.

Of course, as I’ve written before, comfort is not an option when you want to live life to the fullest.  You cannot live a great life hiding under a rock where it is safe.  You’ve got to get out and see what the world has to offer.  You’ve got to beat the lizard brain at its game.

Don’t get me wrong.  If you are in a real survival situation, the lizard brain can be your best friend.  It is programmed to keep you alive.  It is the part of your brain responsible for the actions you take without thinking during a true crisis.

The lizard brain is very good at what it does.  It has had years to perfect its technique.  Also, because it has been around for a long time, it is very powerful.  Don’t let its size fool you.  The lizard brain will take over if it feels threatened.  It has that kind of power.  It can virtually shutdown the rest of your brain and run the whole show itself if it thinks high stakes are in play.

This was a good thing when every day was a fight for survival, but in modern society, the lizard brain has a tendency to get in the way.

It doesn’t usually take over, but it whispers to us all the time.  You’ve got to recognize and call out the lizard brain when it tries to hold you back.

How to Start Recognizing the Lizard Brain

Recognizing the lizard brain when it starts speaking is the beginning of defeating it so you can obtain the really great life you desire.

When you have an idea, the lizard brain will tell you things like:

• People will laugh at you if you pursue that.
• This could get you fired.
• Nobody is going to pay you to do that.
• This is simply not good enough for other people.
• You don’t have the money to do it.
• You don’t have the experience to make it work.
• Let’s think about it for awhile to see how it looks next month.
• You are going to screw this up just like last time.
• You have it pretty good right where you are at so be careful.
• Other people are already doing this and they are probably better than you.

Have you ever heard any of these doubts in your head before?  That’s your lizard brain.  It can even push you to do some pretty bizarre things like Seth points out in The doormat, the jerk and the lizard brain.

Again, the lizard brain’s mission is to keep you hidden where you aren’t likely to get eaten, but it tends to go a little overboard in playing it safe.  The lizard brain is paranoid.

Listening to the lizard brain will kill the genius inside you.  Shut it up so you can start being remarkable and living the life you really want.

The next time you hear your lizard brain holding you back, say it out loud.  Verbally state, “This is my lizard brain speaking and I’m not going to listen to it.”  Repeat, if necessary.  It might seem a little foolish, but it works.  This technique tends to make the lizard brain retreat which then gives you a window of opportunity to take a step toward a better life.

Don’t Let Your Lizard Brain Steal Another Minute

Why are you working so hard to bury your natural-born instincts?  I’ve never met someone who had no art in them, though it’s buried sometimes.  Markets are crying out.  We need you to stand up and be remarkable.  Be human.  Contribute.  Interact.  Take the risk that you might make someone upset with your initiative, innovation, and insight – it turns out that you’ll probably delight them instead.
~ Seth Godin, Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?

What if your lizard brain is wrong?  What if it really is paranoid?  What if you really do have genius ideas that people really need and that can make the world a better place?  I believe we all have this inside of us.  We can all become indispensable.  Yes, even regular people can be remarkable.

Your lizard brain does its best to keep you quiet, trudging along and doing your part as a cog in the machine.  It wants you to be average.  Mediocre.  That’s where things seem safe.  But are they really? 

A lot of people have lost “safe” jobs lately.  A lot of “safe” businesses have gone under.  A lot of people that were following the status quo have seen their lives turned completely upside down. 

Yet, there are others that are thriving.  They are the indispensable ones.  You may know or at least know of one or two of these people.  They have pushed on despite the screaming lizard brain in their head.

The resistance tried to hold them back, but they didn’t let it.  They took the chance and it has paid off.

What will you do?

Photo by motleypixel

Here’s a sad fact. The world is full of millions of unhappy people who are disillusioned with life. People who merely go through the motions each day but who can’t help wonder, “Isn’t there more to life than this?”

Well, the answer is unequivocally, “Yes!” And of course everyone wants to find meaning, purpose, energy, and passion in their lives. People want to get out of bed enthused about the prospects of the new day. But if you want a more passion-filled life, how do you do it?

There is no shortage of self-help advice on the web and in every local bookstore. I want to suggest to you, however, that while much of this information may be useful, you already possess all you need to begin living a passionate life today, right now, in this very moment.

The Secret to Living a Joyful Life

After working with thousands of people over the last 20 years, I’ve come to believe that the secret to living a joyful life begins by listening to what you already know. I’m not talking about thinking your way to a happier life. It is much more about listening than thinking.

By listening to that quiet inner voice, to your heart’s desires and dreams about how you are to spend your time and energy, you can receive traveling directions for your life journey. These traveling directions are your Calling.

Callings can be an encouragement to do a small thing with your time and energy or to pursue a radical reorganization of your life. Either way, these traveling directions already exist. Maybe you know what it is that’s tugging at your heart or maybe it’s buried in your subconscious. But in both cases the directions are there. So, if everyone deeply desires to live a life of energy, purpose, and passion, and if these traveling directions are already present, why is it that so many people are disconnected from the kind of fulfilling life I’ve been talking about?

I call them barriers, the things that get in between our Calling and our taking the kind of action that will lead us toward more passionate life.

While every person’s situation is unique, here are the five most common barriers that get in the way of following a Calling. While much more can be said about each of these issues, here are a few ideas about to how to overcome these obstacles.

1.  I’m Not Good Enough for My Calling

If there is a Calling, then there is One who Calls. And regardless of your faith perspective, it makes sense that the One who Calls has given you the gifts and talents you will need to succeed in response to your Call. You may need further preparation, such as schooling, you will certainly need the help of others, but you definitely have the core of what you will need to fulfill your Call.

2.  My Calling is Impractical

What is more impractical than living a life that is not rewarding? Your time is limited, you will not live forever, so making it count for others and for yourself is one of the most practical things you can do.

3.  Others Won’t Understand if I Respond to My Calling

So how important is this issue to you? If it’s your neighbor down the street who you see once a year at the holiday party, so what! If it’s your old high school chums who have fancy business cards to hand out at the reunion, let me assure you that my many years of working with individuals in pain suggest that their business cards are sometimes serving as their own barriers to following their Calling.

You may indeed need to bring the people who love you, those who truly care about you, along in your process. You will almost always find that they are much more understanding, perhaps even relieved, than you think they will be. Because they care about you, they’re often delighted that you will finally do what you’re being led to do with your life.

At the end of the day, when it comes to what others think about your actions, you will have to decide, what is it that really matters to you. Sometime these are truly tough choices. But remember that not deciding is also a choice.

4.  I Would Follow My Calling, But I Have Financial Obligations

This may be the most common barrier that men express when they know they’d like to be living a different life, but they just can’t bring themselves to do it. I’m not suggesting that this is an easy situation; it’s not.

First and foremost, ask yourself if it’s real. Is this really the issue or are you more concerned with status, prestige, or perceived security than you are willing to surrender to your Calling? Second, ask yourself, “What it is that I truly value?” “Who is it that I want to be?” “What is it that you want to experience in life?” And finally, if you want a different kind of life, ask “How will I take a small step today that will lead me toward where I really want to be tomorrow?” Maybe you need to pay off some debt, have a conversation with someone, or learn to accept the reality of what you really care about.

5.  I Don’t Know What My Calling Is

Well this can come in a flash or take a good amount of time. However, if you’re willing to put in the effort, if you’re willing to listen for the traveling directions that are already in your subconscious, you can learn about your Calling. I would suggest that you take the Begin Your Journey Assessment to begin to explore where you currently are on your journey and then commit to being open to doing the work necessary to understand who you are and what you’re being asked to do.

Here’s the bottom line: Those who come to understand their Calling, and then surrender to its leading, live happier and more fulfilled lives than those who don’t. I hope you’ll take the challenge and find incredible joy in the process.

This has been a guest post from Dr. Paul Dyer. Author, teacher, coach, and consultant, Dr. Dyer has worked with thousands of people as they’ve sought to clarify their values, change their behavior and reach their goals. If you haven’t had a chance already, make sure you follow Paul on Twitter or subscribe to his RSS feed to get his blog updates.

Photo by SD Dirk

I certainly have problems that I’d like to avoid.  Problems are hurtful, distracting and agitating.  Why wouldn’t I want to get as far away from them as possible?

That feeling you get when a big crisis pops up is sickening.  It can feel like you went bungee jumping without a rope.

That’s why I recently set out to find the most used strategies for running away from problems.  I wanted to uncover some things I could try.  Fortunately, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be to find popular tactics.  It seems that I’m not alone in wanting to avoid problems.

From my research, I found there are literally millions of people already using these techniques.  You might even be one of them.  However, I still thought it might be a value to share with you what I’ve learned.  I hope I don’t bore you with this stuff.  Maybe there is a new strategy here that you can use for better results than what you are experiencing now.

5 Ways to Run Away from All Your Problems

If you want to ditch all your problems, then it does appear that you have a lot of company.  As I said before, tons of people have gone before us paving the way.  I found this to be great news and very reassuring because we can learn from their experience.

Here are five common strategies I found to run away from our problems:

1.  Bury Your Head in the Sand

Probably one of the most common and promising strategies used to avoid problems is just to ignore them.  We have an amazing ability to blind ourselves to the issues in our lives.  If we don’t see and acknowledge the problems, then they simply don’t exist.  It is almost a miracle at how effective this technique can be.

Of course, as with all strategies, this one does have a potential gotcha.  Through some painstaking research and expert analysis, I have uncovered one pretty disturbing drawback of this approach that I think must have been hidden for years because so many have missed it.

It seems that those that utilize this approach later experience a day of reckoning.  As I said, this is a pretty disturbing concept.  What seems to happen is that all the ignored problems pile up and then one day, WHAM!  They smack you right between the eyes with a crisis so huge that it is impossible to ignore despite even the best efforts of those very experienced with the strategy.

I found this discovery to be quite upsetting.  At first, it seemed this was almost a perfect solution because it could be applied to practically any problem, but this day of reckoning thing really threw me for a loop so I decided to consider some other alternatives.

2.  Get a Divorce

It is common knowledge and widely accepted that most problems originate with other people.  We certainly aren’t the source of our own problems.  That’s just ridiculous! 

The closer a person is to you, the more leverage they have to create trouble for you.  Therefore, it only stands to reason that your spouse is a big source of problems in your life.  A divorce seems like a fast way to lighten up one’s life.  After all, they aren’t called the old ball and chain for nothin’. 

Again, this is a very popular strategy.  Some researchers think that more than half of all marriages end in divorce so a lot of people have embraced divorce as something that works in avoiding problems.  On the surface divorce looks like a fine way to quickly discard troublesome issues.

However, I’ve heard reports of divorce creating problems too.  Apparently, it is not completely the panacea of good times its cracked up to be.  There are rumors that It is loaded with financial issues and that it creates tons of complicated emotional problems especially when children are involved.  Please don’t go spreading this information around.  I don’t want my informants to know that I’m telling everyone their insider information.

It is really hard to believe that another very promising strategy for avoiding problems turns out to be saddled with cockleburs.  Fortunately, there are still more schemes tactics to consider.

3.  Live on Credit

I’ve said before that “life takes money”, but unfortunately money problems are plentiful.  In addition, they are stressful, difficult and persistent.  The good news is that there are plenty of banks with piles of money more than willing to help.  They are constantly offering tons of great deals on credit cards.   Heck, they even want to pay you to get one of the their cards.  How great of a deal is that?

Credit cards are taken just about everywhere nowadays.  You can basically live on credit!  This can really ease the burden in a financial pinch.  Have you been laid off from work?  No problem!  Just whip out your trusty old credit card and presto, your money problems are solved.  Whatever the situation, having a credit card in your pocket seems to ease the burden. 

I was sure that no one could possibly spoil this strategy for avoiding problems.  It seems so perfect, but then I ran across this article saying credit cards suck.  Oh, please say it isn’t so!  After I read about interest rate hikes, late fees and cancellations, I decided to do a little more research and found the truth about credit cards.  It is truly a sad day!

It is depressing to find out that three really promising strategies for avoiding problems seem so full of pitfalls.  I’m starting to wonder if there is any hope.

4.  Lose All Hope

Speaking of hope, I’m beginning to think, “Why even try?”  Life’s problems seem totally overwhelming and unavoidable at this point.  I might as well just give up.  Everyone is out to get me anyway.  My boss, my spouse, even my kids have it in for me.  There just doesn’t seem to be any solutions to these problems.  Everywhere I turn I only see more trouble heading my way.  It has always been this way for me.  I guess I’m just cursed.

I’ve tried, I really have, but it just never works out.  I can’t even avoid my problems.  I don’t know why I think I can ever possibly get ahead and loose from them.  I take one step forward and two steps back no matter how hard I try or what I do.  Overall, I just don’t have the energy to deal with it anymore.

I’m going to go with the flow.  I’m tired of fighting it.  I’ll let the cards fall where they may.  I’ll just run my life on autopilot.  That promotion I was wanting is out of my reach anyway and even if I got it, I probably wouldn’t like the job.  I’m sure it is just full of a lot of new problems I couldn’t avoid anyway.  The finances are a little tight, but if it gets too bad I’ll just declare bankruptcy.  What the heck!

I know I should want more for myself and my family, but it isn’t worth the hassle.  They probably wouldn’t appreciate it anyway.  Why go to all the trouble?  I think if I just ignore it all, then it won’t bother me so much.  This seems like the best approach.  Of course, I’ll never get that life I always wanted, but I guess that’s just the hand I’ve been dealt.  Oh well!

5.  Sabotage Yourself

I began this project really expecting to find ways to avoid all my problems, but it has been a seriously depressing journey.  I’m not sure how exactly I got here, but my life really sucks now.  The pain caused by all the problems that I can’t seem to avoid is overwhelming.

On top of that, I had a really big problem pop up again just this week that I wish I could have avoided.  I went to have a few drinks to enjoy life a little and to try to get my mind off my problems, but when I left the bar later than I intended, some idiot stopped short in front of me and I rear-ended him.  Of course, the cop was a butt-head about the whole thing and wrote me a ticket for driving while intoxicated.  I can’t believe he was so stupid about such a small deal.

Of course, the cop wasn’t the only one that blew this whole thing out of proportion.  When I got home, my wife had a hissy-fit over it.  She was so out-of-control telling me how irresponsible I’d been that I left and spent the night in a motel.  I think she’s overreacting to an accident.  She’s being totally unreasonable and might even use this to rationalize giving up on us.  What a night full of crazy problems!

The next morning wasn’t much better.  The alarm clock in the crummy motel didn’t go off and I overslept.  My boss called me into his office when he saw me coming in an hour late.  I tried to explain the situation and that it wasn’t my fault, but he lost his mind before I could finish.  He said that this was the last straw.  He fired me while going on and on ad nauseam about my poor attitude and performance.  It was quite a show really seeing his total lack of self-control.

I’ve had some time to reflect on this and I’ve decided good riddance to all of them.  I didn’t need them anyway.  The problems they caused me were ruining my life.  I’m going back to the bar to try to relax and forget about my troubles for awhile.  It seems to be the only place where people understand me.

Running Away from Problems Isn’t Smart (or Effective)

I so wished that I would have thought of this article in time for April Fool’s Day.  It really is foolish to think that we can run away from our problems.  The only way to a better life is to fully and completely accept personal responsibility for all our outcomes.  As an adult, we are responsible for the quality of our lives.  We can’t blame anyone else for our troubles and we can’t simply run away from them.

“You have to take the position that you have always had the power to make it different, to get it right, to produce the desire result.  For whatever reason – ignorance, lack of awareness, fear, needing to be right, the need to feel safe – you chose not to exercise that power.  Who knows why?  It doesn’t matter.  The past is the past.  All that matters now is that from this point forward you choose – that’s right, it’s a choice – you choose to act as if you are 100% responsible for everything that does or doesn’t happen to you.”
~ Jack Canfield, The Success Principles

I’ll admit that life can be hard.  It can hand us a crummy mess from time-to-time, but the only way we can effectively fight back is to face life head on.  We have to stop running from our problems and start doing something about them.

What are you going to do today to produce a better life?

Photo by ???? Th?t

Comfort is overrated.  We should not be striving for comfort because personal growth requires us to move beyond our well-worn happy places.

If you haven’t made yourself uncomfortable lately, then chances are you have grown stagnate and complacent.  You are not pursuing life to the fullest anymore.

I say toss out the La-Z-Boy and the television along with it and make yourself uncomfortable!  Let your recliner rot from lack of attention!  Grab yourself a big piece of life and accept that comfort is NOT an option!

Regular People Are Vulnerable to Comfort

As a regular guy, I know that I am susceptible to getting comfortable.  I can easily adopt one the following rampant attitudes:

• I’ve worked hard this week and I deserve a break.
• The time just isn’t right.  I’ll pursue that when the kids are older.
• I don’t have the money to invest in myself right now.
• I’m not trying that.  It sounds like a load of crap to me.
• My wife would think I’ve completely lost my mind.
• That’s just not me.  It might be fine for others, but not for me.
• Where I’m at right now is pretty good and who knows what’s over there.

Let me point out that there may be some truth in one or more of the statements above, but all too often, I simply use them as excuses.  I get used to my comfortable little place in life and begin to think I want to put down permanent roots right where I’m at in my growth.

I’ve been reading The Little House on the Prairie Series of books to my oldest daughter and I’m amazed.  Pa was definitely not a comfort addict.  (By the way, this is a terrific set of books to read to your kids.  It is really amazing how different life was back then!)

Charles Ingalls, aka Pa, would no sooner get his family settled somewhere before he was packing everything up in the wagon to move again.  And this guy wasn’t just taking them to the next neighborhood over.  Oh no, he would move them out onto the wide-open prairie right smack in the middle of Indian Territory where they were completely dependent on their own ability to survive.

Pa wasn’t irresponsible and he didn’t go chasing after half-baked opportunities, but he took chances.  He was constantly seeking a better life for his family and he didn’t let anything stand in his way.  He pursued his dreams and he inspired his wife and kids to go right along with him. 

He didn’t let comfort or naysayers or fear stand in his way.  He was confident in his abilities and he faced life head on.  He didn’t let the comfortable hold him back from something better.

I want to strive to be more like Pa.  He was a regular guy like me and he had a deep desire to live the best life possible.  He never let any of the excuses above hold him back.

It Is the Tractor Beam Opposing Personal Growth

Comfort is often a subtle, but powerful force keeping us stuck in one place.  If you are a science fiction fan, then think of comfort as the tractor beam opposing our personal growth.  It holds us back from moving towards our best life.

“Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.” ~ Sun Tzu

If comfort is our inner enemy, then we must learn how to defeat it.  To win this battle, we must get familiar with how the tractor beam works.

Let’s examine what makes comfort such a powerful tractor beam.  It uses the following tactics:

• Fear – Comfort reminds us that we are pretty happy right where we are or at least we’re in control.  If we start trying to grow, then things might take off in a direction that is irreversible and possibly harmful to us.  Why not just stay right here where things are stable?
• Intimidation – Comfort threatens that our crazy actions will likely cause us to lose what we have.  It tells us that we might be wrong about what we want and if we can’t undo it once we get it started, then we might make ourselves mighty uncomfortable.  Comfort whispers, “You know it is better to just not go there or I might have to take drastic action against you.”
• Resistance – Comfort will enlist the help of others around us to hold us back.  Our trying to grow will often make our spouses, friends or bosses uncomfortable.  They won’t like this so they will resist.  They will try to talk us out of our plans.  They will be difficult and might even pick a fight with us to try to make us give up on our pursuit of growth.  Comfort has allies.
• Embarrassment – OMG, you’re idea is crazy.  What will other people think when they find out?  They will think you are silly.  Why would you risk what you have to go after something so ridiculous.  How are you going to make a living doing that?  If you want to risk your whole reputation on this, then go ahead, but do it without me.  Do you hear comfort talking here?

Get the idea?  Comfort is a crackerjack pro at using whatever it takes to try to talk us out of moving out of the zone.  Recognizing its sneaky, but effective ways is paramount to defeating it.

Of course, comfort is a master liar that will disguise himself as all kinds of things in your mind.  Discover the truth to set yourself free.

The truth is as follows:

The path we have to take to get ahead in life requires that we push ourselves beyond that which is comfortable.  We must accept the risks involved in personal growth.  Continuing to pursue growth is what keeps our relationships, careers and dreams from dying.  Everything else is hogwash.

Kicking Comfort to the Curb and Embracing Life

I’ve said before that if you are facing opposition, then you must be doing something right.  Kick comfort to the curb!  It is seductive and alluring, but lethal to living life to the fullest.  Don’t let it hold you back any longer with its powerful tentacles.  Break free, make some sacrifices and move beyond your comfort zone to discover a whole new world out there just waiting for you to embrace it.

In what area of your life do you most need to make yourself uncomfortable?

Photo by Robert S. Donovan

Creativity is like a muscle.  We have to exercise it to know that we have any.  When was the last time that you gave your creativity a workout?

I used to think I wasn’t that creative.  It just wasn’t my thang.  I don’t play a musical instrument.  I don’t paint and I don’t write poetry.  I’m a Director of IT for crying out loud.

I’ve always thought of myself as a very logical, sequential, linear-based thinker.  Tests such as the one I found on the website of The Art Institute of Vancouver confirm that I am quite left-brain dominant.  Here are my results:

Here’s where you can take their Right Brain vs Left Brain Creativity Test for free.  Beyond just the percentages shown above, it also gives you a percentage breakdown of your right-brain and left-brain characteristics along with some very interesting and detailed explanations.  I was impressed.

The good news for me is that although I am left-brain heavy, my right-brain score shows some hope.  It isn’t completely dormant, but I certainly need to exercise it to reawaken my creative capabilities.

Why Creativity Is Important to Everyone

In the past, many people thought creative skills were purely for pleasure.  They thought that things like painting, acting, drawing and dancing were wastes of time once you were past a certain age.  After all, how were these things going to help you earn a living in an industrialized nation?

However, times are changing.  More and more often companies are looking for people that have a greater capacity for right-brain creativity.  The left-brain skills aren’t going away.  We still need computer programmers, accountants and engineers, but according to Daniel H. Pink in A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future organizations need:

• Not just function but also DESIGN – It is not enough anymore to just create a product that works.  It must also be appealing to people.
• Not just argument but also STORY – Think about it.  How are you sold cars nowadays?  They don’t dwell on features.  They tell you a story via the commercials.
• Not just focus but also SYMPHONY – Instead of breaking things down for analysis, organizations need people that can synthesize disparate pieces of information to form the big picture.
• Not just logic but also EMPATHY – Business leaders need to understand what makes people tick.  Companies want to build relationships with employees, customers and partners.
• Not just seriousness but also PLAY – Lightheartedness is important to create the right culture that attracts and retains the right people.
• Not just accumulation but also MEANING – Today’s organizations are about more than manufacturing a product.  They are also interested in being environmentally conscious, community-friendly and culturally-sensitive.

All of the above aptitudes are supported by the right-side of our brains.  If right-brain thinking is being demanded by the organizations that pay our bills, then it might be time to start taking this stuff seriously.  It might be time to try to reawaken our creativity.

Three Incredible Right Brain Resources

We were all pretty creative as children.  We were uninhibited back then, but somewhere along the way we were told to put those things aside to concentrate on “more important” things. 

We were led to believe that while our coloring pages were nice, they weren’t going to get us a job that paid enough to support a family or paid the mortgage.  So, we packed up the crayons and broke out the calculator.  We stuffed our creativity away like a box in the attic never to be seen again.

Well, now it’s time to find that old box, dust it off a little and see what’s inside.  We need to open up our creativity again.  It has been packed away for so long, that this isn’t really an easy chore.  I’ve been trying to do this myself lately and I’ve found a few resources that seem exceptionally helpful.

Here are three incredibly useful resources to open up your creativity:

1.  The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

This is by far the best place to start to unlock your inner artist.  We all have blocks due to the way that most of us have stuffed our creativity down inside over the years.

Cameron walks you through a detailed and intentional process to overcome all the old conditioning that impedes the creative skills that have been clogged up inside us for so long.

I’ve personally used this book and found it to be challenging, refreshing and artistically invigorating.  It doesn’t matter where your creative interests lie, I think you’ll find The Artist’s Way a very valuable resource to help you rediscover your artist within.

2.  The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain: A Course in Enhancing Creativity and Artistic Confidence by Betty Edwards

We need to retrain our brains to look at the world through new eyes with our right-brains instead our lefts.  This is the exact intention of Betty Edward’s classic drawing course.

Edwards explains that teaching people to draw is similar to teaching them to ride a bike.  It is a difficult thing to tell someone how to do.  How do you explain how to balance a bicycle?  It isn’t easy.  New riders just have to get a feel for it by practicing.

Well, it is very much the same with learning to use the right-side of your brain.  You can’t easily tell someone how to do it.  Instead, through the exercises she has perfected, Edwards walks you through it until you learn to see the world through the eyes of an artist.

3.  Cracking Creativity: The Secrets of Creative Genius

Once we’ve started to open up our creativity again, then it is important that we learn to apply it in our personal and professional lives.  This is where Michael Michalko’s book excels.

Michalko points out that geniuses think productively instead of reproductively.  That is, they look for new, creative ways to solve problems instead of relying on what has worked in similar situations in the past.

He helps us to see paths to alternative ideas through exercises, techniques and resources designed to push our creative limits.  Again, I think you’ll find this book a terrific resource to help you expand your right-brain view of the world.

Working to Open Up My Creativity for Greater Success

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my journey toward opening up my creativity.  It has been a very rewarding and refreshing experience so far and I have even more plans beyond what I’ve done to date.  However, I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you what I’ve learned in hopes that it would benefit you as well.  I truly believe that unlocking some of our right-brain potential is paramount to living life to the fullest!

Do you have any other recommendations for resources I could use to unlock my creativity?  If so, please leave a comment below and let me know.  Thanks!

Photo by Greencolander

A regular person can easily accumulate this level of savings.  You just need a systematic plan to make it happen.  I’m completely for real about this.

I’ve figured out a way to make this work for just about anybody.  Of course, I doubt my approach is totally unique, but it just might be something you haven’t considered before.

For what amounts to daily pocket change, you can put a big smile on the face of your piggy bank!

Here Is the Nest Egg Savings Approach I’m Suggesting

Previously, I wrote about how Soft Drinks Are Amazingly Bad for Your Health.  I think my article made it clear that we all should cut way back on the amount of sodas we drink every day.  Well, what if you eliminated buying soft drinks all together?

You can kill two birds with one stone here.  You can take a significant step towards improving your health and save a really nice nest egg for your family!  Let’s see how this works.

I’d suggest to you that a family of four easily spends $1.00 per person per day on soft drinks.  Count it up and see if I’m wrong.  What happens if you save this money instead of buying sodas with it?

I used a simple savings calculator to compute the following:

• Save $4.00 per day by NOT buying soft drinks
• $4.00 per day x 30 days = $120 per month
• Set up an automatic investment of $120 per month directed to a decent mutual or index fund
• Do nothing, but wait and earn an average of 8.0% interest
• In 25 short years, you will have $114,130.51 in your account!

How could it be any easier than this?!?  If all you did was quit drinking soft drinks, you could painlessly save over $100,000 for your nest egg.  That’s powerful and at least a little amazing I think!

The Objections That Might Lead You to Dismiss This

I want to address some potential objections.  Do you hear them in your head right now?  Usually, when I come face-to-face with a plan like this, I tend to come up with some excuse to dismiss it before I ever really give it a chance.

I’d hate for that to happen for you because I really believe this will work.  Therefore, I’m going to bring a few of the objections out into the light of day and smack them about to weaken them for you.

Here are some of the objections or excuses that might pop-up:

• 25 years is too long to wait -  I’ll admit that this is a bit of time.  However, if you do nothing for the next 25 years, you’ll have nothing in 25 years.  The time will pass faster than you think and if you’ll just set-and-forget the automatic investment, then before you know it you’ll have a nice nest egg.
• I don’t drink this much soda – How much do you drink?  Keep track of it for a week.  You might be surprised.  However, if it isn’t soda for you, then maybe it is coffee or clothes or snack food or whatever.  The point is that you likely have an area where you can cut back to save $4 per day.
• I can’t earn 8.0% interest – I think over 25 years that it is possible to average this rate of return if you invest wisely in a good mutual or index fund.  However, what if you earn only 6.0%?  You’ll still have over $80,000 in your nest egg.  Isn’t this better than nothing?
• I’m too old to start now – I’ve heard Dave Ramsey quote this proverb, “The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.  The second best is now.”  Who knows how long you have?  If you start now, you’ll thank yourself later regardless of your age.
• I don’t know how to invest in a mutual fund – Learn!  This is not rocket science.  You are plenty smart enough to figure this out.  Millions of other regular people have done it.  Here is a great introduction to mutual funds that will get you started.

I’m sure these are just a few of the objections that you might hear in your head.  Squash them!  Are you going to let excuses paralyze you and cost you over $100,000?  Decide and act now!

What are your thoughts about this approach?  Leave me a comment below and let me know.

Photo by calzone

Learn to improve your relationships.

Relationships are a HUGE part of living a full and rewarding life.  Showing love to the one you care about the most is crucial to nurturing a great relationship.  It needs to be done on a daily basis.

How do we do show love every day?  I’m still figuring it out myself even after 18 years of marriage.

Did you notice above that I said we have to learn to improve our relationships?  I’m convinced that It is something we can get better at with just a little help.  No matter how good you think you are, when it comes to love, there is always room for improvement.

Fantastic Free Resource to Help Us Become Better at Love

I don’t think most people go into marriage thinking “Man, I want this thing to last six and a half years and then move on to someone else.” Most want the dream—a relationship that lasts a lifetime. But, how do we do that?  ~ Stu Gray, aka TheMarryBlogger

A fantastic new resource, just in time for Valentine’s Day, has been released to help us learn to love our special someone more deeply and completely every single day.  Want to know the best part?  This resource is 100% free with no strings attached!

It is the Love Every Day eBook!  (click link to download)

No matter where you are in your relationship, the ideas, tips and advice shared by these authors will surely help you become better at demonstrating your love on a daily basis.

Let’s face it, life is crazy.  We need and want relationships that last.  However, the hustle and bustle of everyday life often pulls us apart.  We get tired, distracted and stressed.  We need new, more creative ways to show our love.

If you get just one idea from this ebook that helps you to make a positive improvement in your relationship, wouldn’t it be worth the few moments it will take to download and read it?

I’m honored that I get to offer you something so incredibly valuable without it costing you anything!

I’ve read this ebook and I can tell you that you are sure to get way more than one idea!  This is really a great compilation of incredibly smart articles from some of the best relationship writers out there.  You will not be disappointed!

A Sneak Peek at the Love Every Day eBook

This ebook covers a whole spectrum of relationship matters.  Here are just a few of the topics that you’ll enjoy reading about:

• Starting the Day Off Right by Dan Miller, best-selling author of 48 Days to the Work You Love
• Fuel Your Relationship by Dr. Michelle Gannon, psychologist and couples therapist
• Working Couples and Stress by Trudy Sargent, producer of the movie LoveTalk
• Keeping the Sexual Spark Alive by Alisa Bowman, professional writer
• How to Love Your Spouse Generously by Lori Lowe, author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss
• Stop Fighting Over Money by J. Money author of BudgetsAreSexy.com

Again, this is just the tip of the iceberg.  The free, downloadable ebook contains 28 incredible articles to help you improve your relationship and show your love every day!

I’m very excited and honored to have an article included in this fabulous free resource myself.  I got to write about the importance of having a clear, well-defined purpose to guide your relationship.  This alone can save you a ton of frustration and fights over a lifetime of living together.

Show Someone That You Love Them Every Day

Download the ebook right now and start reading an article a day.  It won’t cost you a dime and because the articles are short and to the point, it won’t take more than a couple of minutes each morning.  The practical advice you get will forever alter the direction of your relationship.  It will lead you to new, higher levels of loving than you’ve ever experienced before!

Your Valentine will thank you for it.  They will definitely notice and appreciate the difference in you once you learn to show your love every day.  This is one of the most important things you can do for your special someone and for yourself.  I guarantee it will deepen and improve your relationship in ways well beyond what you can imagine!

Get your copy of the free Love Every Day eBook today!  I promise this ebook is completely free with no strings attached.  You can download and enjoy it at your leisure.

Leave me a comment below and let me know what you think of this fabulous resource!

Photo by JLStricklin