Do you want a deeper and more enjoyable life?

I have three simple, yet powerful things you can do to drastically enrich and expand your happiness.

These are things that anyone can do.

Yet most people neglect them.  They fail to understand the power of these three simple things.

Of course, you won’t be one them because you’re reading this!

What You Can Do to Enrich and Expand Your Life

Many people fail to recognize that most of our enjoyment and fulfillment in life comes from the simplest things.

They waste their time chasing money, power and prestige when, in fact, most of our happiness is derived from plain, straightforward strategies.

Concentrating on the right things will enrich your experiences.  It will enlarge your world.  And it will make you happier.

Here are three extremely powerful things you can do to enrich and expand your life:

1.  Focus on the Things That Matter

We live in a busy, noisy world.

We worry incessantly about everything.

We have investigative reporters endlessly uncovering one troublesome matter after another.

Our employers or clients are constantly demanding we do more with less.

We are badgered by guilt, stress and non-stop activity.

Bottom line, our attention is pulled in a million directions and it drains us.

We get confused and chase after hollow things.  ”The packaging may glitter and sparkle, but there’s nothing inside but emptiness,” says Ken Wert at Meant to be Happy.

Ken recently wrote an article I found very insightful called 4 Things That Truly Matter.

When you stop and define what you value, you can then refocus.  You can redirect your time, energy and resources to those key areas where you find meaning, opportunity, love, joy and success.  That’s how to enrich your life.

2.  Slow Down and Savor the Good Times

Again, because we live at a breakneck pace, we fail to really soak up the good times.  They whiz by with barely any acknowledgement.

In addition, we often over-complicate things so much that it is impossible to derive any enjoyment from them.  Take the holidays, for instance, in our desire to make them grand, we bleed all the pleasure right out of them.

“By taking the time to savor both ordinary and extraordinary moments in your life, you will stay rooted to what you truly value: your relationships, your health, your accomplishments, and nature,” says Stephen Borgman.

Stephen reminds us of the value of slowing down and savoring the good times in Here’s a Secret for Living Life Now.

I think we can all learn a great deal from Stephen’s suggestions.

Savoring the good times is grossly under-valued in our culture.  Instead, we like to reward people for busyness.  How backward is that?  A big, rich life comes from savoring the moments.

3.  Appreciate the People that Make It All Worthwhile

“We are social beings, and for us to truly experience life, we have to find ways to reach out to those we love and include them in our lives,” says Bryan Thompson.

I totally agree with Bryan that It’s Time to Thank the People Who Made Your Moments Unforgettable.

When was the last time that you told those you love that you deeply value them?

Heck, when was the last time that you stopped long enough to even think about it?

The people in our lives make all the difference and it goes beyond just our immediate families.  Your friends, co-workers and extended family have a lot to do with the quality of your life.

I encourage you to take a minute to express your feelings for them this week.

You’ll be amazed at how this will enrich and expand your life.

Do These Things Today

Here’s the deal.  For what I’ve said today to make any difference in your life, you have to take action on it.

I want to prod you to act upon these three things.  Incorporate them, in at least some small way, into this day.

When I say this day, I mean today, not tomorrow.  By tomorrow, you will have forgotten all of this unless you see some positive result from it today.

Try these things on for size.  I think you’ll be pleased at the results you get.

Let me know what you think.  I’d love to hear from you!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

I’ve been writing a lot lately about money, but the accumulation of wealth can be a false yardstick for success.  As we’ve seen in our economy, money comes and goes.

True happiness or joy in life needs to be built on a more solid foundation.

How we judge success really does determine our happiness.  Picking the right things will give us a sense of contentment, joy and peace regardless of circumstances.

False measures of success will steal our happiness

Often we get distracted pursuing things that ultimately don’t matter.  Yes, it is fun to have nice things, but you can’t let yourself build a life on what is temporary.

Let me expand on this by naming a few of the false measures of success and explaining how they are shaky ground for true happiness.

1.  Job, career, business

Work consumes a good portion of our lives.  It is therefore very easy for it to become the measure of our success. 

It doesn’t matter whether you work for yourself or for someone else, your current situation is subject to change.  Look at all the layoffs and business closings that have occurred lately.

If your measure of success is based on your title, earnings or the fact that you own your own business, then you might want to reexamine your life just a bit.

I’ve learned time and again that these situations change in the blink of an eye.  No matter how secure you think your work situation is, it can disintegrate without notice.

Men especially seem predisposed to getting a lot of their self-worth from what they do for a living.  Yes, work can be satisfying and provide some significance, but we need to be sure it isn’t all we live for.

2.  Money

Money cannot buy joy and contentment.  It just opens up your options.  There are plenty of rich people that are miserable.  Happiness is a choice.

Nevertheless, many people want others to think they are rich whether they really are or not.  I guess they believe it makes them look successful.

They live over-inflated lifestyles supported by credit cards and other forms of debt.  However, contrary to popular belief (and the commercials) the truly priceless moments in life cannot be bought.

Money is fickle.  As I mentioned above, it comes and goes.  How many times has Donald Trump been broke?

Believing that you will be happy when you make or save more money is a fallacy.

3.  Possessions

We often seem to think that we will be happy when we get a bigger house, a nicer car or new furniture.

Yes, these things do sometimes make us giddy for a bit, but once the newness wears off, then we have to buy something else to renew the high.

There will always be something to buy and someone else will always have something a little better or newer or fancier than you.

Most of us eventually realize that while possessions are nice to have, they are not a source of true happiness.

Don’t measure your success by your toys!

4.  Social status

I have a harder time relating to this one.  My social needs are pretty modest, but I know there are many individuals that measure their success by their number of contacts.

Of course, there are many of life’s circumstances that effect how others feel about us.  Public opinion can turn on a dime.

Relationships can change based on marital status, job changes, financial means or a myriad of other factors.  Popularity in the eyes of our acquaintances and colleagues can fade quickly.

A better way to judge success and be happy

There is a better way to be happy rather than relying on temporary, external measures of success.

Here are my suggestions:

1.  Choose happiness and success

First and foremost, I believe that if you want to be happy and successful, then you have decide to be.  You have to make it happen for yourself.

Happiness in life really is a choice.  It is all in the way we arrange our thoughts.

What lens are you going to use to see your life through?  You get to pick.

Make the best of what is offered to you.  Choose to see things in a positive light.  Choose to have a good attitude and better things will come your way.

Your life is usually going to measure up to your expectations.  Expect less and you’ll get less. 

Demand more from life by positively applying the talents and resources you have and you’ll find yourself getting ahead.

2.  Focus on the love you give and receive

True success is really about the relationships we build and nurture along the way.  Love is what makes life meaningful.

Most often when you read a story about someone with a terminal disease, where to they turn their focus during the last days of their lives?

Let me give you a hint, they generally don’t start working more hours or buy more possessions.

Dying people want to spend quality time with their loved ones.  Why wait until your days are numbered to do this?

Start loving more deeply today!  Measure your success by the love you give and receive.

3.  Give and help those that you can

One of the reasons that I want to be more financially successful is so I can give more.  I believe you have to be generous to truly prosper.

The more you give, the more you get in return.  Life is just richer and more fulfilling when you donate your time, expertise and money to help others.

Have you ever considered judging your success by how much you are willing to give?

I’m not talking about just charitable giving either.  Give your all at work.  Don’t be greedy.  Do a pro bono job once in awhile when someone really needs it.

Giving of yourself is a great way to open up a whole new avenue to happiness in your life.  You will likely find a deep fountain of fulfillment that you never knew existed!

4.  Tap into your spiritual side

I believe there is more to us than just flesh and bone.  Get in touch with your spiritual side.

If you have never explored this aspect of life, then now is a great time to do it.  Go find out what you believe.

You have a lot more to offer than what you might imagine.  Discovering and deepening your spiritual connection is essential to being truly successful in life.

There will always be a hole in your heart until you resolve this for yourself.  This is where the marrow of life truly exists.

Turn success and happiness into contentment and joy

Ultimately, when you pursue the right things in life, your feelings of success and happiness will turn into true contentment and joy.

You will be satisfied.  You will cease always longing for things that are temporary and inferior.  You will be wise enough to avoid common pitfalls that steal our joy.

I’m certainly not there yet myself, but I long for the days.

Where are you at on this journey?

Photo by dreamymo

Many of us, myself included, whiz through the day barely taking notice of what we are doing. 

We fail to be present in the moment.  We just hurry through our mental or written to-do list  until it is time to quit for the day.

The days go by.  The weeks go by.  The months go by and before we know it, we have hurried another year of our life away.  I think this is a terrible way to live.

I struggle with living in and enjoying the moment

Okay, there I’ve admitted it.  I have a problem being present in the moment and truly drinking in the satisfaction it has to offer.

My mind is usually preoccupied with what’s next.  I’m already pressing myself to get to the next thing or I’m worried and feeling guilty about how I’m wasting time not getting to the next thing. 

I often feel the thing I’m doing now is encroaching on the time I need to get the next thing done.  I’m usually in a hurry and sometimes it really is for no reason. 

Rushing for me is a habit.  I’m also addicted to efficiency.  Is it apparent yet that I want to get things done?  Again, it is so I can get to whatever is next.  I have to meet the demands of home, work, blogging, children and whatever else I can conjure up.

I can feel it right now.  I want to hurry up and finish this article.  I need to get it done so, I can get it published, so it will be ready for the artificial deadline I’ve set in my mind and so I can move on to get other things done.

Are you feeling it?  Do you want to hurry up and get to the point of this article so you can move on to the next thing?

Hurriedness is a disease that robs us of enjoyment in life

Is this a disease?!?  I’m pretty sure it is at least for me.

Wiktionary defines disease as:

An abnormal condition of the body or mind that causes discomfort or dysfunction; distinct from injury insofar as the latter is usually instantaneously acquired.

I’d say that my hurriedness and efficiency are abnormal.  This is not how we were intended to live.  It is dysfunctional.  It does not lead to the best life possible.

Hurrying and being ultra-efficient are often enemies to true enjoyment in life.  It creates stress and anxiety which are detrimental to my physical health.

I’d classify hurriedness as a cancer of life itself.  It is a disease that eats away at my life from the inside.  It destroys all that I’ve worked so hard to achieve because it steals the enjoyment and satisfaction from it.

I realize that hurrying through life is the wrong way to live

I’ve really began to see that I hurry too often.  I just do not take the time to savor what I’m doing.  I’m convinced that this is very detrimental to living life to the fullest.

As an example, I love to write, but I usually fail to take the time to delight in it.

We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.
~ Anais Nin

I pressure myself to get it done instead of relishing in the process.  Why?!?

The crazy thing is that I do this to myself.  No one else is responsible for it.  I push myself to the point where I drain most of the enjoyment from everything!

Hurrying leaves me feeling empty and unfulfilled.  I get to the end of the day and I’m just  tired and stressed instead of satisfied for a job well done.

How I’ve decided to enjoy the present moment

I am beginning to understand that it is in these tiny moments that we truly milk the honey out of life.

Kiss your life.
Accept it, just as it is.
Today.
Now.
So that those moments of happiness
you’re waiting for don’t pass you by.
~Philip Bosman

Here is some of what I’m going to do to make sure the happiness in my life doesn’t pass me by.

• Slow down and be present in the moment
• Stop waiting for that one big success to come along to be happy
• Practice gratefulness for the small things that make life fun
• Focus my attention on things I enjoy doing
• Stop multi-tasking so often
• Really listen to people and engage them in conversation

Will this work?  I honestly don’t know.  I’ve been the way I am for so long, it is going to be a struggle, but I’ve committed myself to living more consciously and with less hurry.

What practical suggestions would you offer to help me?

Photo by nattu

Who’s to blame for this?  The reality is we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Continuing to point the finger at your parents, spouse, boss, the government, this economy, your kids or anything outside yourself is a cop out.  It is choosing to remain right where you are at. 

You are simply and conveniently hiding behind a curtain of excuses.

Accepting personal responsibility for your position in life is the foundational step essential for living life to its fullest.

3 things to help you accept responsibility and live a greater life

Our fulfillment in life is our responsibility.  It is our job.  No one else can do this for us.  We individually choose our path in life and how we respond to everything that happens to us.

I want to encourage you to take personal responsibility for your fulfillment and happiness.  Here’s some things that I think you can do to get started.

1.  Start believing you have what it takes.

We hold many false beliefs about ourselves that often hold us back from pursuing the life we dream of living.  Glen at PluginID reminds us You Are Enough! 

Whatever it is you want in life, you have what it takes to achieve it.  You are so much more than you think.  You are better looking, smarter, more valuable, stronger and vastly more capable of handling all that life can throw at you than you currently believe.

Throw out your fears and false beliefs about yourself so you can start living!  Believe you have what it takes!

2.  Figure out what matters to you and get organized to go for it.

What is it that you’ve always dreamed of doing, but have just been too chicken to try?  What matters enough to you to step out of the rut you are in and take a chance?  What is it that you want your life to stand for?

Steve at MyWifeQuitHerJob.com walks us through his thought processes in answering these questions in How We Stopped Short Of Becoming Lazy Pieces Of Crap.  For Steve, it was his new baby that made him and his wife decide to do more with their lives. 

Making a better life for your kids is a fantastic goal!  If that works for you, then use it.  If not, then find out what does motivate you and get going!

As Steve suggests, find something that moves and inspires you to change.  Don’t waste another day wallowing in self-pity and despair!  Time is too short!

3.  Set a definite plan and take immediate action

Once you believe you are enough and know what you want, then you have to create a definite plan to make the desired changes a reality.  Wishful thinking is not going to get you there.  You have to take action to make it all happen the way you want.

Break the cycle of the status quo in your life by doing something different.  You must step out of your routine and comfort zone to create change.  There is no other way. 

You can’t keep doing what you’ve always done and expect a different result.  Life just doesn’t work that way.

Jonathan offers some great advice on this in 7 Roadblocks to Personal Development.  We all face internal barriers to getting what we truly desire.  The difference is that some people take the steps necessary to break free and others do not.  Which will you be?

Accepting personal responsibility for your life is key to fulfillment

Are you willing to accept personal responsibility for your life?  Are you going to stop blaming others, decide what you want and go for it?  What’s your plan to get the life you want?

I guarantee you that you have what it takes!  The world is your oyster!  However, no one is going to hand it over to you on a silver platter.  You have demand what you want from life to get it.  Following the three steps above will get you a long way toward achieving your dreams!

What has been holding you back and what are you going to do about it?

Photo by Tambako the Jaguar

We often drive ourselves crazy pursuing more. In fact, constantly wanting more is what has pushed America into a recession. Greed, envy and an obsession for more has taken it’s toll. Let us now pursue contentment!

Three fantastic articles about contentment and having enough

There is no better time to become content with what you have. We are richly blessed! When was the last time that you even had to concern yourself with the basic necessities of life? Many struggle every day just to survive. We need to remind ourselves of this more often!

1. Accept that your paycheck is enough!

I really enjoyed David’s article this week over at MoneyNing. He wrote 5 Surefire Ways to Stop Thinking Your Paycheck is Never Enough. I’ve been guilty of this. Again, we make plenty. We simply get caught up in thinking we need more. Raises will probably be conservative in 2009 for most people. David’s advice to stop comparing yourself to others and to avoid jumping your lifestyle ahead of where it should be is very timely.

2. Material possessions do not make us happy!

David at My Two Dollars wrote Finding Contentment While Others Around You Want More. He warns us not to fall into the trap of believing that a new possession will make us happy. I’ve made this mistake a ton of times in the past. I, like David, have experienced the rush of making a new purchase only to be let down in a few weeks or a few days. David shares some great ways to help us avoid repeating this mistake.

3. Start enjoying today right where you’re at!

Rather than continually seeking happiness elsewhere, become content right where you’re at! Sara at On Simplicity shares some Simple Ways You Can Start Enjoying Today. I like her suggestion to stop saying, “I’ll be happy when…”. Again, been there, done that! We are in control of our lives so, why do we continually make ourselves so miserable by always wanting more? Why not just enjoy what we have? If we don’t, life will be over and we’ll have wasted it.

Happiness is a choice!

We have the power to be content with our lives and savor the good things in it. It is a choice that we make every waking moment. What will you choose today?

Here are a few other articles I enjoyed reading this week:

• 10 Businesses You Can Start For Peanuts (or less!)
• 6 Reasons Why I Joined Toastmasters
• As Long As You Can Make The Payments – You’re Fine

Photo by exfordy

“Happiness consists more in the small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Living life to the fullest is often found in the simplest pleasures of life.  Things do not have to be big, exotic, expensive, or complicated to be enjoyable.  I find that the deepest, richest moments of my life are brief times filled with common things combined in an uncommon way.  It is like a “perfect storm”.  All the perfect elements of a great life just seem to mix together into a wonderful moment.

I experienced this last night.  My wife and two daughters cooked out hamburgers on our patio in our backyard just after sunset.  It was a fantastically beautiful Fall evening.  The stars were out and a cool breeze was blowing.  We ate a very tasty, but simple meal and then snuggled up in a couple of chairs to stare at the stars.

My wife and I each had a kid on our laps.  There was just enough coolness in the air that we could cover up with a light blanket.  Sitting there in that chair with a warm and snuggly kid in my lap looking up at the twinkling stars and bright moon was heaven on earth!  A deep sense of fulfillment and thankfulness filled my heart.

The moment didn’t last long.  That’s the way it seems to be with these “perfect storms”.  They come and go in the blink of an eye.  That’s why recognizing these moments  and drinking from them deeply is so important.  I am so thankful for our time last night.  It warms and enriches my heart right now just thinking about it! 

Don’t miss these moments as you carry on with your life!  This is where the marrow of true joy and fulfillment exists.  These fleeting times, when added together, equate to a life well lived! 

Stop waiting or chasing after something that may never come and start enjoying what you have right now!

Have you had a similar experience?  Please share it and let me know how you found happiness in simple pleasures.

Photo by JelleS

The road to a better life is full of a lot of sinkholes.  I think some of the well-meaning self-improvement material is misleading.  It gives advice that leaves us feeling depressed and disillusioned.  I know because I have been down this road more than once.  I have sought the key to quick riches and happiness.  I have searched high and low for the one book that would unlock the mystery and enable me to achieve everything I dreamed of in my life.  Here’s a tip.  It doesn’t exist!

The 3 quick and easy steps that get me nowhere fast.

I have found a fantastic recipe for making myself miserable.  I’m wondering if anyone else experiences the same.

1.  I Read a good self-improvement book.

I couldn’t count the number of self-improvement books I have read.  I love them.

However, sometimes they get me fired-up and headed down the wrong path.  Notice this step says read a "good" self-improvement book, not a great one.  A well-meaning author of a "good" book will sometimes fill me with discontentment because my life doesn’t accommodate their ideas.  These books usually include 3 quick and easy steps to achieve ultimate success.

This leads me right into the trap.  I don’t blame this on the author or the book.  It is totally me, but it could be you too.  I want to learn to avoid falling for it.

2.  I Become convinced that my life could be great, if only…

I become convinced that if I could ditch my present life and recreate it from scratch, then I would be happy.  If only I could break the shackles I’ve created through all my past decisions, then I could be free to live a great life.  I start feeling trapped and depressed. 

I daydream about throwing away everything I’ve worked so hard for so I can be happy.  I fall for this trap over and over again.  Every time, I start out believing that this time I might discover the secret that will transform my circumstances into an idyllic utopia.

3.  The misery creeps in as I come down off the high.

Of course, I never run away.  I know I have it too good, but this doesn’t stop the miserable feeling.  It creeps in, if I let it, as I realize my fantasies are just that.  Why do I do this over and over again?  Why do I set myself up and fail to see it coming?  Why don’t I see the light at the end of the tunnel and realize it is a freight train barreling towards me?

This is when the disillusionment starts.  I start wondering why I even try.  I think about giving up and throwing in the towel.  It is a bogus pit brought on by misguided thoughts.

I then wallow in my misery for varying periods of time feeling sorry for myself.  It is all completely absurd and counterproductive.  There is another way.

Real self-improvement begins with contentment.

Our lives are the sum of all the past decisions we have made.  For me, most of these decisions were good ones and therefore led me to things I desired such as being married and having children.  Yes, these things create certain boundaries in my life, but that isn’t bad.  Here’s the truth:

True self-improvement begins with accepting your life as it is today.

It is not throwing everything out and starting over.

I can’t emphasize this enough!  I think that all too often self-improvement books lead us to think that we have to rewrite our entire lives to be happy.  This usually isn’t true.  It is normally a fallacy.  It is the same kind of thinking that leads us to try get-rich-quick schemes.

There are no short cuts to a better life.

We start believing that there is an easy way to a better life.  A way to get what we want and get it fast.  BEWARE!  This is a terrible trap!

Many people start thinking that quitting their job, divorcing their spouse, and running off to a foreign land is the answer.  This will not solve anything.  It will only complicate and mess up your life to a point where true happiness may be put out of reach or at least delayed for many years.

Real self-improvement occurs within your existing life.

Real and lasting self-improvement is carved out within the life you already have.  If your marriage is the pits, then fix it.  Yes, it will be a lot of hard and painful work, but it will be worth it when you have a rich and rewarding relationship with your spouse.  If your job sucks, then work your way to a better place.  Will it happen overnight?  Probably not, but at least you won’t still be stuck here six months from now.

Be grateful for what you already have.

Count the blessings you have!  Practice gratitude.  Remind yourself of all the good things you have to be thankful for.  This is the foundation of true self-improvement.  If you build upon this solid rock, then you will make progress.  You will stop experiencing so many peaks and valleys.  Instead, you will steadily climb toward your goals.

Start where you are and make it better.

I have not given up on improving my life.  I seek to live life to it’s absolute fullest day by day.  I do so starting exactly where I’m at.  I accept my past decisions and build upon them.  I make it all work because I know that this is the path to real happiness.  It isn’t necessarily fast or easy, but it is trustworthy.  Will you join me?

What sinkholes have you fell in on the road to self-improvement?  Where have you found success?

Photo by ceonyc

Recently at Marc and Angel Hack Life, they posted an article titled 70 Things To Do Before Having Children.  This inspired me to create my own list.  I agree that it is often easier to do some things before kids come into the picture, but life doesn’t end when you start a family.  On the contrary, you come to discover that your children open up a whole new dimension of living.

So, today I thought I’d share my list of 70 great things about having children!

1. Getting a goodnight kiss from a 3-year old.

2. Seeing their beautiful smiles!

3. Watching them pull up into the standing position.

4. Having a tickle-fest!

5. Christmas morning.

6. Easter morning.

7. Halloween night.

8. Coming home is always a celebration even when you’re only gone a little while.

9. Family hugs.

10. Going on a family vacation.

11. Taking them to the first day of kindergarten.

12. Watching them learn to read.

13. Being called mommy or daddy.

14. Looking at pictures from when they were younger.

15. Measuring to see how much the kids have grown in a year.

16. Hearing them laugh for the first and every time.

17. Throwing them a ball.

18. Feeling pride the first time they catch it.

19. Watching them perform in a school program.

20. Seeing them do things on the playground that they used to need help doing.

21. Experiencing their unadulterated excitement.

22. Getting swept up in their excitement.

23. Seeing the world anew through the eyes of a child.

24. Helping them catch their first fish.

25. Going camping as a family.

26. Hearing them talk about God.

27. Listening to them pray.

28. Having them remind you that you forgot to say grace.

29. Snuggling up to watch an animated movie.

30. Having them crawl into your lap when they are scared.

31. Watching them do something amazing like jumping off the high dive!

32. Hearing them tell you, "I love you, Daddy."

33. Sitting down to a family dinner.

34. Seeing a great report card from school.

35. Playing outside together.

36. Teaching them to ride a bike.

37. Watching as they get it and peddle away.

38. Teaching them to love chocolate.

39. Giving them more than you had when you were a kid.

40. Hunting crawdads in the creek.

41. Having "live performances" in your living room.

42. Seeing how adorable they look in their new clothes.

43. Marveling at their tiny little toes.

44. Finding a baby doll on the floor after they’ve gone to bed.

45. Kissing their little feet.

46. Carrying them around the house wrapped in a towel after a bath.

47. Seeing the joy a bubble bath can bring

48. Giving them their first childhood dog.

49. Reading their name in the newspaper.

50. Hearing that they look just like you.

51. Watching your parents become grandparents.

52. Listening to them sing, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star".

53. Witnessing their first haircut.

54. Taking a picture of them without their two front teeth.

55. Dropping them off for their first sleep over.

56. Picking them up from their first sleep over.

57. Throwing birthday parties.

58. Hanging up the great picture of them in the living room.

59. Having your refrigerator covered with their masterpieces.

60. Spending an afternoon at the zoo.

61. Seeing your kids wearing shades.

62. Reading the book they love over and over and over again!

63. Eavesdropping when they’re playing alone in their room.

64. Building a snowman.

65. Going down a water slide together.

66. Blowing kisses from the car as you leave.

67. Seeing their beautiful smiles.  (did I mention this already?!?)

68. Teaching them the value of money.

69. Melting when they make you feel really good about yourself.

70. Having your eyes fill with tears because you love them so much.

Was there life before kids?

Whatever life I had before my children came along was nothing compared to the life I have now.  Yes, I occasionally miss the freedom and independence, but I would never trade my life now for it.  I love my kids!  They are beautiful and they make my heart sing.

What do you think is great about your life with kids?

Photo by Seeding-Chaos

1.  Breathe continuously.

This is probably one of the most important things to do as a scuba diver.  Breath is life.  Obviously, while diving and otherwise, we need to breathe to live, but continuous breathing helps to protect a diver’s lungs as the volume of air changes with depth underwater due to changes in pressure. 

Air compresses and expands as you descend and ascend in the water.  If you hold your breath while ascending, you could over expand your lungs causing a serious injury.  Scuba divers avoid this by simply breathing continuously.

In life, we also pass through different situations where the pressure varies greatly.  Sometimes, we experience significant stress at work and at home.  We go through things that we wished we didn’t have to endure. 

The only thing you can do is keep breathing.  You just have to believe that "this too shall pass".  Breathing is symbolic of staying calm and centered.  It is the most basic of our needs.  As long as we are breathing, then we live to fight another day.

2.  Use the buddy system.

In diving, you always want to have a buddy along.  You need a buddy to assist you through all phases of a dive.  Before you dive, you perform a buddy check to verify each other’s scuba gear is set up and functioning properly.

Circumstances can arise while in the water that you cannot resolve on your own.    Your buddy is there to help.  He even serves as your backup air supply should you run out of air or experience a severe malfunction.  Having a buddy along underwater is indispensable and it is just more fun to dive with a companion.

Again, as in diving, so it is in life.  We need friends, family and spouses by our side to help us deal with the difficulties of life and to celebrate the good times with us.  Life is just a much richer experience when we are regularly surrounded with those we love and that love us.

Loved ones keep an eye on us.  They let us know when something in our life is going wrong.  They are there to pick us up and dust us off when we fall.  They tell us we are special and the good ones throw us parties on special occasions!  We all need a buddy or two or three or ten!

3.  Avoid entanglements.

Becoming entangled underwater is a serious problem for a number of reasons.  First, you only have a certain amount of air.  Second, you risk decompression sickness or "the bends" if you stay underwater too long.  Third, it can cause you to panic and do something really stupid.

Divers are cautious to avoid entanglements.  It is prudent to stay clear of heavy  vegetation.  You also need to stay out of underwater caves and sunken vessels without knowledge of these spaces.

Entanglements are equally dangerous in day-to-day living.  When we stray off the high road, we can wind up with a mess on our hands.  From experience, I have found that many of the moral and ethical rules to live by are designed to keep us out of such traps.

Several things that are widely accepted as "normal" behavior today lead to complications in life.  Things like premarital sex, debt, and divorce were once considered taboo, but now are commonplace.  Of course, these things often lead to entanglements that suck the joy out of living.  We should avoid entanglements to minimize the craziness in our life and maximize our fulfillment.

4.  Know your limits.

In order to stay out of trouble while diving, it is imperative that you know your limits and avoid exceeding them.  You have limited air and a limited amount of time that you can stay underwater without risking decompression sickness.  You have to plan and execute your dive accordingly.

In addition, every diver has limited experience.  No one has been diving at every possible dive site.  Getting cocky and believing that you know it all is dangerous.  This is usually where problems occur. 

In life, we also have to know our limits.  Just about anything done in excess becomes bad.  Take work as an example.  We need to recognize when we are working too hard or too much.  It is important to maintain balance in our life.  Otherwise, we can burn ourselves out and risk hurting our relationships.

We need a plan and some goals to get the most out of life.  We have to keep our behavior in check and avoid becoming overconfident.  We should always have a safety buffer built into life to protect us when things take an unexpected turn.  Knowing your limits and staying within them will enable you to live a rich life!

5.  Have fun!

Scuba diving can be a lot of fun.  The underwater world is full of sights and adventures that you cannot find anywhere else.  The whole point in diving is to have fun and enjoy exploring the wonder found in our oceans and other bodies of water.

I’m just starting out, but I hear that there is also a strong sense of camaraderie among divers.  This just adds to the enjoyment.  It is always more fun when you can share common experiences with others that also have a passion for diving.

Over the years, I’ve learned that although it is great to work hard to try to achieve goals, it is also important to have fun.  You have to take time out in life to enjoy all that you have accomplished.  We get so caught up in trying to get more, we sometimes fail to enjoy what we have.

I do not want to get to the end of my life and realize that I failed to have fun.  So, while we want to be smart about living life, we also want to go out and be crazy once in awhile.  Smile and laugh often.  Surround yourself with others that are happy and fun to be with.  Fun is contagious.  Go catch some!

Get the most out of life and diving!

The "rules" often are designed to help us enjoy ourselves and avoid problems.  This is true in diving as well as in life.  It doesn’t have to be complicated.  We tend to make things that way ourselves.  If we observe some basic guidelines, we can save ourselves a lot of trouble.  Now go out there, have fun, and be safe!

What "rules" do you live by to have fun and excel?

Photos by Franie Frou Frou and SteelCityHobbies and Larsz

A fire sparked this idea about achieving our desires.

This weekend I spent a little time out on the patio in my backyard staring at the stars.  The kids were in bed and the day was done.  It was wonderful.  My wife and I listened to the crickets as they sang their song of enchantment.  It was a bit cool after the sun went down which created the perfect opportunity to start a nice fire in the chiminea.  Outdoor fires are so mesmerizing!  If you have a chiminea, fire pit, or have ever had a campfire, then you know what I mean.  It seems almost impossible to draw your eyes away from the flames. 

I watched the flames in the chiminea as they danced, twirled, and glowed.  I moved closer and looked at the various parts of the fire.  It is fascinating to me.  Fire appears on the surface to be nothing more than brightly colored air.  It is see through and like the wind, you know it is real, but you cannot grab a hold of it.  Fire is also powerful.  It can destroy an entire house in minutes.  This fire seemed angry as it whipped about inside the chiminea.  Its power was evident in the bottom of the clay fireplace.  It had reduced some of the wood to nothing more than a few glowing embers.  In addition, the action of the flames created light and shadows on the wall behind us.  It was all very dramatic and made my mind race.  As I was being hypnotized by the fire, I started relating it to how people focus on their desires.

Three things the fire can teach us about achieving our desires.

It occurred to me that there are really three significant ways that I could use the fire to help illustrate the importance of intensity and focus in fulfilling our desires.  Let me see if I can put into words what seemed so powerful in my mind.

1.  Desire is the fuel of accomplishment. 

A fire does not burn without fuel.  I’m sure that you have fed a fire before.  If so, you know that it consumes the wood at an amazing rate.  You have to keep feeding it if you want it to burn.  A true desire is like fuel for a fire.  It is more than a whim or want.  It is something that burns inside of you.  It fills your thoughts.  It doesn’t go away.  It continually feeds your efforts.  Of course, true desire is like firewood.  You have to collect it.  There is a little work to be done before you can get the flames started.  Sometimes, people lack direction in their life.  This is usually because they don’t take the time to fully develop their desire in their mind.  They don’t gather the fuel for their desire.  So, either their fire never gets going or it quickly dies and goes out.  You have to develop a strong mental image of exactly what you want to accomplish.  You need to emotionalize it.  That is, you need to fix the picture of the end result in your mind and then vividly imagine how you will feel when you have met the goal.  This may seem a little too touchy, feely for some, but it works.  It is like gathering the firewood.  You build up the fuel to feed the effort you need to achieve your goal.

2.  Keep your fire focused. 

The flames of a fire are tossed about by every breeze that blows.  It doesn’t take much of a wind to whip a fire all about.    I picture the wind as all the distractions and diversions that come along and try to steal our focus.  I don’t know about you, but it is easy for me to start out in one direction only to have something else catch my attention a few minutes later and before I know it, I have ten things going on.  Of course, I then make very little progress on any of it.  We have to guard the fire of our desire against all these distractions.  We have to stay focused if we want to achieve our goal.  There are so many things vying for our attention these days that this is often difficult.  I find that creating a tangible record of my desire is effective in maintaining a laser focus.  I usually write out my desire, but I have seen others use a collage of pictures very effectively for this purpose.  When you begin to feel distracted, you pull out this record of your desire and use it to stoke the flames of your emotions.  Find what works for you and use it.

3.  Burning intensity will drive you to your goal. 

The hottest part of a fire is often the glowing embers at the bottom.  These are what keep the fire going.  Even if the flames go out, you can toss some wood on the white-hot embers, fan it a little, and the flames will jump up again.  The embers symbolize the core of your desire.  This is the source of your most powerful intensity.  What about your desire is the easiest for you to emotionalize?  Hang on to this.  Recall it when the going gets tough.  When you are up against your biggest critic or obstacle, you will need this glowing ember.  It will revive the flame of action inside you.

You have to keep the fire burning to accomplish your desire.

Keeping the intensity of your desire burning hot is the single most important factor in accomplishing what you want.  You have to clearly know what you want, stay focused on it, and recognize the core of your desire to achieve success.  Those that do these things realize the big payoff.  They live the life of their dreams!

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Photos by Carey Tilden and Steve took it and The Joy Of The Mundane