I’ve never delivered a graduation speech, but I imagine it is pretty tough deciding exactly what morsels of wisdom that you’d like to pass along.  What is it that graduates need to know to take what they’ve learned in school and use it to lead a successful and fulfilling life?  Is there any insight you can impart in 5 to 7 seven minutes that will unlock the door to the best life has to offer?

I don’t have the answers, but I do have three questions that I’d suggest every new graduate consider.  If I had to give a graduation speech, this is what I’d base my talk around.

My three life planning questions for new graduates

As a new graduate sets out planning their life and deciding what path to follow, here are a few things I would suggest they ask themselves.  If you can figure these things out early, you will achieve a great deal more success in life.

1.  How do I make myself stand out from the crowd?

There is a lot of noise in our world.  There is also a lot of competition.  Every new graduate wants to set the world on fire.  However, many of the flames fade because we they never figure out exactly how to stand out from the crowd.  They fail to market themselves properly.  They fail to make themselves remarkable.

Standing out from the crowd and rising above the mediocrity that dominates our world is mostly about making yourself valuable.  It is not about hype and fluff, the kind that finds its way onto resumes, because that stuff gets exposed fast in the real world.

It is about discovering your unique niche.  It is like putting together a puzzle, but instead of trying to find the shapes that fit perfectly together, you are trying to figure out exactly how your talent, skills, education, life experience, personality and values gel into the ideal mold.  The faster you figure this out, the more success and happiness you will experience!

2.  How do I break free from the grip of traditional thinking?

Life is full of options.  You do not have to live yours like your parents others have lived theirs.  But, I’ll warn you now, there is an invisible tractor beam that will constantly try to pull you back to the way you should live meaning the way that others have lived their lives.  The tractor beam is called traditional thinking.

Traditional thinking tells us we should get a job, a spouse, a pet, a mortgage, 2.5 kids, a new car, a backyard and a life others approve of.  I would encourage you to challenge this way of thinking.  Do what you’ve always wanted to do right now.  If you dreamed about traveling, then do it!  Push the fear aside and go for your dream.  You’ll thank yourself later.

You can always settle down, search for a job and do the traditional thing later too.  By the way, the traditional thing isn’t all bad, not by a long shot, but you are standing in a very special time.  You have the freedom to live big and go for your dream.  Don’t miss it!

3.  What do I still have left to learn?

I know, I know you just graduated.  You’re full of education.  In fact, you’re stuffed.  You have a PhD in learning.  What else could there possibly be?  Well, you probably won’t like this, but I’ve got to tell you that your learning has really just begun.  Education is wonderful, but real life has a lot of lessons to teach you that you failed to learn in school.  Bummer, huh?

Instead of setting out to teach the world all you learned in school, open yourself up to all the world has for you.  Some of these lessons are crucial.  They are the most important things you’ll ever learn and life won’t stop teaching you until you get them.  This is where the “school of hard knocks” comes from.  Life will knock you around some if you are hard-headed about learning the lessons she has to teach you.

The faster you learn these lessons, the further down the road you’ll go.  What are these lessons?  I wished I could tell you, but they are somewhat unique for every person.  Some you’ve already picked up, but others you are still waiting to learn.  Be open and life will guide you to what you need to know.

Graduates, I welcome you to life!  Wear it well.

I think these are some of the questions I would offer to new graduates.  After all, there are a lot more questions in life than there are answers, but that’s what makes it interesting to live!  I challenge you to go out, live, love, explore and wonder at life.  Think big, but never forget that what really matters is usually found in the small things.

These life planning questions are food for thought.  I hope you’ll ponder them and use them to guide your actions over the coming days.  You are embarking on a journey that is like no other.  Wear it well.

Photo by m00by

All new graduates want to live the good life, don’t they?  Remember the Monster.com commercials that aired several years ago with kids saying things like, “When I grow up, I want to file all day.” and “I want to claw my way up to middle management” and finally “I want to be paid less to do more.”  I loved this commercial because it reminded us of the dreams we had when we were kids.  Often, our lives don’t turn out the way we imagined simply because we didn’t take the right actions to make it so.  I have some do’s and don’ts that I’d like to share with recent graduates to help them get started now making the right kinds of decisions to lead a life of success, prosperity, and fulfillment.

The common thinking after graduation is a myth.

I remember when I graduated.  I was walking on air.  The whole world laid at my feet.  However, I also remember the common thinking at the time.  Everyone seemed to think the same thing and I bought into it.  I thought that I needed to hurry up and get a job before all the good ones got snatched up by someone else.  I felt that the great opportunities were limited.  Along with this, I just knew that I needed to get to work before my skills got stale and I lost the few valuable connections I had.  Soon after I got going, I started to feel like I needed to hurry up and get married.  I needed to get on with my life.  I rushed from one major thing to the next in a frenzy to build a life.

The problem with this thinking is that it is mostly wrong.  It was all based on a scarcity mentality.  Great opportunities open up every day usually when you least expect them.  Whose to say what is the proper timing?  When one door closes in your life, oftentimes another opens up.  I wanted to travel and live in another country, but I thought I should get a job, a paycheck, and some benefits first.  As I said, I then thought I should grow up and get married.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love my wife and we have a great family that I wouldn’t trade for the world, but in hindsight I realize that there was no reason to hurry.  With a job and marriage comes responsibility.  We bought a house.  We put down roots.  As a result, I never have fulfilled that desire of living in another country.

5 do’s and don’ts to help you live the good life.

Here are some suggestions that debunk the myths about what one should pursue after graduation.  I hope these help you to live the fullest and most fulfilling life possible!

1.  Don’t be in a hurry to grow up.

There is no rush to grow up.  Your parents might think so, but deep down inside, they will probably agree with me.  You should stay young as long as possible.  I’m not advocating being irresponsible.  I’m just saying that you shouldn’t feel pressure to get too serious too soon.  Take your time.  Explore what life has to offer.  Don’t pressure yourself to start a career or a family.  School can be demanding so, take some time to relax.  I think this applies to every area of your life.  It seems that people think that if you don’t get married and settle down by the time you are 25, then you are getting old.  I laugh at that.  Enjoy your twenties!  There will be plenty of time in your 30s and 40s to get serious, but the freedom you have now is fleeting.  Don’t waste it!

2.  Do pursue your dreams.

What have you dreamed of doing with your life?  Take the time to stop and think about this.  What do you want your life to look like ten or twenty years from now?  Have you always wanted to run your own business?  Do you want to travel the world?  Do you have a cause that you are passionate about?  It is much easier to try these things when you are young.  Right now, you only have yourself to be responsible for.  You are used to living frugally.  It is likely that you will never again be in a better position to go for it than you are right now.  You have less to lose.  No one is depending on you to earn a living and pay the bills.  I would encourage you to pursue your greatest dreams.  What better way is there to start your life?

3.  Don’t be afraid to make mistakes or fail.

Fear of failure or of making mistakes is what holds most people back from living life to the fullest.  Don’t sweat it!  Mistakes are just the stepping stones to greater success.  Age doesn’t matter.  Some people will tell you that you are too young to do this or that.  Ignore them!  Work at what you love most.  The money and success will come.  When you are passionate about what you do, you are more likely to be successful.  Take risks today.  Later in life, you may not have the luxury you do today to try risky ventures.  I have often avoided situations where I thought I might fail.  My regret usually comes from the things I did not try, not from trying and failing.

4.  Do travel and see the world.

I love to travel.  Seeing other cultures, meeting people in foreign countries, and observing the beauty around this planet are passions of mine.  I think traveling is a life experience that teaches us a wealth of lessons about relationships and getting along with a diversity of people.  This broader view of the world will serve you well in future endeavors.  It will make you a better, wiser person.  Take a big adventure.  Take two or three or ten!  Do it now before you put down roots that make it much harder to leave.  Go for a month, a year, or more.  As I said earlier, I wanted to experience living in another country.  I could have fresh out of school, but I chickened out.  I regret that to an extent now.  Even if this hasn’t been one of your dreams, I still encourage you to take at least a short trip to another country to see how life is in another place.  It will broaden your horizons and you’ll never forget it.

5.  Don’t try to live the lifestyle that your parents enjoy.

It seems that many young people today think that they should immediately start out with a lifestyle equal to or better than that which their parents enjoy.  As a result, they immediately go out and accumulate a lot of debt.  They buy a house, charge furniture on a credit card, and take out a loan for a luxury automobile or SUV.  These quickly become chains that bind you instead of being things that make you happy.  Debt limits the choices you can make.  When you have financial obligations like this, you can’t take that dream job that pays a little less when it comes along.  Avoid this kind of mistake.  Your parents probably spent 20 or 30 years building up to where they are at today.  I doubt it will take you as long so, just exercise a little patience.  There is nothing wrong with having some nice things, but don’t let them become your master.

These suggestions are the fast track to the good life.

Live it up while you are young!  Guard your freedom.  Wait to seriously start your career and drink deeply from the cup of life.  There is a whole, fascinating world out there to explore and conquer.  It is beckoning you.  Heed its calling!

What advice would you share with a recent graduate for living the good life?  Leave a comment and let me know.  I hope to share these in a future post.

Photo by m00by

This was the final installment of a week-long series from the Life Skills Network.  Here are the other articles for your enjoyment:

• Monday: 10 Financial Tips for New Grads at My Dollar Plan
• Tuesday: 7 Common Interview Questions For The New Graduate at The Wisdom Journal
• Wednesday: Inexpensive Tips For A Greener Life After College at The Good Human
• Thursday: Tips for Furnishing Your First Place at Frugal Dad