What puts a smile on your kid’s face?

As parents, we want to make our kids smile.  We want to give them plenty of things to be happy about.  That’s the way it is with the little ones you love so dearly.  Their smile is precious and a reward you can’t wait to get again.

So, what can you do to keep that bright, toothy grin on their face?  Well, I’ve got a few ideas for you that will help make the sun shine in their little world.

Simple Ways to Keep Your Kids Smiling

The great thing about kids is that they are usually very easy to please.  It is us parents that tend to make things complicated and expensive.  So, my first piece of advice for you is to keep your ideas simple and straightforward.  There is no need to dream up a bunch of crazy schemes.  You can keep your kids smiling by sticking with the basics.

Here are seven simple ways to keep your kids smiling:

1.  Act Goofy

Kids love attention from their parents and they love to be silly.  Therefore, the number one thing you can do to make your kids smile is to be goofy with them.  Pull out your elementary school humor and get wacky.  This doesn’t cost you a thing (other than maybe your dignity) and your kids will cherish the regular crazy escapades making them smile from ear-to-ear.  The bonus is that that laughter will be good for you too.

2.  Surprise Them

If you want to put a big smile on your kids face, then take them to do one of their favorite activities when they least expect it.  A surprise trip to the zoo, movies or playground will have them beaming with joy.  Heck, just show up one day to have lunch with them at school.  Most kids would consider this a treat in and of itself.  Remember, your surprise doesn’t need to be as involved as a trip to Disneyworld to get the reaction you’re looking for.  An unexpected treat or outing will make their day and save you a fortune.

3.  Finger Paint

I don’t know what it is about finger painting, but kids absolutely love it.  They can’t help but to smile the whole time they are doing it.  Yes, it can be messy, but if you prepare properly, then clean up isn’t that big of a deal.  You can get a double-whammy with this one because you will totally surprise them if you are the one that initiates a big finger painting session.  Once they are done, be sure to hang their artwork in a prominent location.  It will make them smile every time they see it and remember the fun they had.

4.  A Big Cardboard Box

What kid doesn’t love playing with a big cardboard box?  Make friends with the folks down at your local appliance store and bring home the largest box you can fit in your vehicle.  It will become a ship or a clubhouse or something else from the fertile imagination that only kids have.  They’ll grin every day they dream up the next thing they are going to play in their giant box.  Of course, you’ll expand their enjoyment if you crawl in right beside them.  You can zoom off to a wonderland of delight right in your own living room floor.

5.  Anything Involving Water

I don’t know about your kids, but mine never smile and giggle more than when water is involved.  It can be the swimming pool, lake, lawn sprinkler, a rain shower, squirt guns, a bubble bath or just a kitchen sink full with plenty of containers for pouring.  Children absolutely love playing in water.  The good news is there are loads of ways you can create this merriment for them.  Water tends to work best in the great outdoors, but I also mentioned some ways that this works inside too.  Water can be a year-round kid pleaser.

6.  Animals

Everything from the zoo to a lone puppy will lock a smile on your child’s face.  Animals are fascinating and playful.  Your kids will appreciate any opportunity you give them to chase, pet, snuggle or entertain a cute fuzzy friend.  My girls love just a quick visit to the pet store and how easy is that?  Again, you don’t have to make this time-consuming or difficult.  If you don’t own a dog, then stop for a few minutes at a friend’s house to play with their pup or visit your local dog park.  Your kids will talk about it for the rest of the day.

7.  The Local Amusement Park

Okay, this last one is a bit more involved than the others, but it is too good to leave out.  A carnival or amusement park is like a fantasy world of smiles and cheerfulness for most any child.  Yes, it can cost a big chunk of your money and your time, but the happiness it produces on a kid’s face is worth it.  Don’t you remember these experiences from your childhood?  I loved going to our county fair.  It was one of the highlights of my year.  Block out the time, put on your best walking shoes and get ready to see your kids smile all day long as they fly by on carousels and rollercoasters.

What do you do to keep your kid smiling?  Add to the list by leaving a comment on this article.  It would be greatly appreciated by all.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

How do you buy happiness?

Getting your mind right about money is very important to your happiness.  Because your finances can be a source of either real joy or sorrow based on how you handle what you have.

Buying happiness is a tricky subject to write about because some people will likely misunderstand and when they do you can send them off in completely the wrong direction.  I’m going to be very careful about that today and I’m going to ask you to read this closely so you get exactly what I’m saying. 

Money can buy at least some happiness, but there are a few critical things you need to know if you want to get the most bang for your buck.

The Failed Approach to Buying Happiness

A little over a year ago, I wrote, I Wished Money Could Buy Happiness.  In it, I talked about the most common way people try to buy their way to a happier life. 

At the time, I was only thinking of the subject in one narrow way and I want to elaborate a bit on what I wrote before.

Previously, I said that it is not possible to buy real happiness.  In the context I was thinking at the time, I was right, but I was also wrong.

The most common way people try to buy happiness is by following the crowd buying possessions, often on credit, thinking that if they have the right stuff, then they’ll be happy.  They try to buy a self-image or lifestyle that is being sold to them by crafty marketers. 

This never really works.  It is the failed approach to buying happiness.

To be happy, you have to be yourself.  You can’t buy the life you want.  It is too artificial.  All this approach gets you is disillusioned and deeper in debt.  You’ll only wind up more unhappy than when you started.

I still say, in this way, it is impossible to buy happiness.  However, I do think there is another approach that does work.

The Ways You Can Buy Some Happiness

Chasing after a false lifestyle or self-image being sold to you by brilliant marketers doesn’t work, but there are ways you can make yourself happier with money.

However, before you go trying to buy happiness, I’d highly suggest learning more about your happiness set point and some of the myths surrounding happiness first.  It is very easy to get off track with this and the more you know about happiness, in general, the better chance you’ll have at being successful.

Here are some instances where buying happiness works:

1.  Necessities

Lacking the necessities in life can certainly make you unhappy.  Therefore, using your money to buy what you need makes you some happier.  I’m starting with this because I want to get you grounded about how you think about buying happiness.  You shouldn’t really reach for the stars at first until you understand this better.  Small improvements in your basic circumstances can really add up and contribute to your overall sense of well-being.

For example, when I lost my home in a tornado, getting into a new place and being able to resume a normal life again certainly made me happier.  In this way, the money I had in the bank and that my homeowner’s insurance provided allowed me to buy happiness.  Therefore, if you lack some necessities, buying what you need can make you happier.

2.  Experiences

Researchers have found that buying experiences versus material goods makes us happier.  Therefore, if you want to get the most happiness out of the dollars you spend, you should go on a vacation instead of buying a new wardrobe.  Or, you could take scuba diving lessons versus buying a new gadget.  Our experiences seem to improve with time.  We tend to remember mostly the good parts and forget the rest.  This makes experiences continue to add to our happiness well beyond the actual event.

As I think back on my life, I can see the truth in this.  I regularly recall and recount old trips, adventures and concerts that I went to, but I’ve forgotten most of my past possessions.  I still tell stories about these good times I’ve had, but I’d never mention stuff I’ve long since thrown away or sold in a garage sale.  The replaying of these favorable experiences adds to my happiness.  This is why experiential spending is so powerful.

3.  Intentional Spending

So often, we buy things on impulse.  We are influenced by what others are doing or by commercials on television or by our mood at a particular moment.  You may hate to admit it, but a lot more of what you buy is based on these things than what you first think.  This is why the shine wears off so fast and what you thought would make you happy doesn’t (at least not for long).  I’m the same way.

The cure to this is to be very intentional about your spending.  But, in order to be intentional, you need to clearly understand what makes you truly happy.  As Gretchen Rubin points out, there are several so-called happiness boosters that can actually do more harm than good.  Happiness is in the eye of the beholder.  So, you have to really pay attention and educate yourself to learn what kind of spending can seriously add to your well-being.

4.  Freedom

Having money means you can buy the freedom and liberty to do the things that make you happy.  For example, if you have a pile of cash, you can afford to switch to a less stressful, less time-consuming job.  This will give you more opportunity to pursue some of the simple pleasures in life that are the most powerful ways to increase your happiness.  I’m talking about things like those mentioned in The 7 Habits of Highly Happy People.

As the old saying goes, the best things in life are free and this certainly holds true for intentional happiness activities.  However, the freedom you need to pursue these things or to escape the things that make you unhappy so often are not free.  Therefore, you can buy happiness by buying the freedom to pursue things like a meaningful life purpose, family time and flow experiences.  Does this make sense?  I hope it does, because it is an important concept to understand if you want to be happier.

Get Your Mind Right About Buying Happiness

Following the crowd and its hyper-consumer mentality will not make you happier.  In fact, this will likely only leave you feeling empty and broke.  You need to immediately stop trying this failed approach and instead start using your money to take care of your necessities, pay for memorable experiences and buy freedom to engage in the simple pleasures that really make you happy.  If you’ll do this, I think you’ll find your life a lot more enjoyable.

What are your thoughts about buying happiness?  Do you think it is possible given the things I’ve suggested here?  Leave a comment and let me know your opinion.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Are you as happy as you want to be?

George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.” 

The same can be said for happiness.  Often, we waste our time trying to find it in other people, material possessions or our circumstances.  When in reality, happiness is created on the inside by cultivating the right attitudes.

Researchers have seen time and again that external factors like wealth, comfort and social status are not good predictors of happiness.  Think about it, do the people in Hollywood seem like they are happy?  They rarely do.  They have it all, but they don’t seem happy.

The good news for you is that YOU have control over your happiness.  You can choose.  If you want to be happier, then there are some simple, yet effective, things you can do to make it so today.

10 Things You Can Do Today to Be Happier

Again, happiness is mostly created within.  We are usually too focused on trying to find it externally.  In reality, we already mostly have what we need.  We just don’t appreciate it in the right way.

The suggestions I have for you are designed to help you maximize your happiness no matter what your circumstances.  You can be happier and enjoy life more fully right now if you simply embrace these attitudes and use them to change your outlook.

The first five are things to stop doing and the last five are things to start doing:

1.  Stop Being Negative

Have you ever said, “I’m not going to get my hopes up”?  This kind of negative thinking is what makes your life bland and boring.  We are too pessimistic and afraid to get excited about the future.  So what if things don’t turn out like you planned?  At least you can be happy about it for now.  You rob yourself of excitement and joy by trying to protect yourself from a let down that may or may not occur.  By doing this, you decrease your happiness.  There is nothing wrong with getting excited.  Embrace it and you will experience more happiness.

2.  Stop Unfavorable Comparisons

It is always possible to find someone with more money, greater achievements and better looks than what you think you have.  Comparing yourself to others that on the outside seem to have everything is a quick way to destroy your happiness.  You need to stop going around assuming everyone else is better off than you and making yourself miserable about it.  Give yourself proper credit where it is deserved and be happy for what you have.  Remember, there are a lot of people out there that wished they were you!

3.  Stop Worrying So Much

We kill our happiness by worrying about everything.  Most of what we worry about never happens.  Yes, there are a lot of bad things that go on in this crazy world, but you’ve got to focus on what you can control and let go of the rest.  Worrying about it doesn’t change anything except it drains you of your happiness.  If you want to be happier, then you’ve got to learn to stop worrying so much.  Instead of worrying, make a plan for how you would react if the worst did happen.  After you have the plan, then set the whole matter aside and trust your plan. 

4.  Stop Being So Easily Offended

Oh my gosh, people are so easily upset by others nowadays.  It is like we are just waiting for someone to do something that ticks us off.  We set ourselves up for unhappiness by thinking people should treat us fairly and according to our expectations.  Didn’t anyone ever tell you, “Life is not fair”?  Stop being so easily offended.  It doesn’t hurt anyone but you.  No one else cares that you are upset.  These things you get so worked up about are usually just misunderstandings.  They aren’t personal.  Be happier by letting things slide off your back. 

5.  Stop Living for Tomorrow

Stop thinking you’ll be happy when you get a different job or earn a little more money or get married or start your own business or finish this project or whatever.  Be happy today in the present moment with what you have and where you are now.  Who knows what tomorrow holds?  You’ll miss your whole life if you keep waiting on something else in order to be happy.  Happiness is really a choice.  You’ve got to choose to embrace where you are now to maximize your happiness.

6.  Start Finding the Good

So much of our culture seems to be focused on finding the bad in others and in every situation.  We are hungry for the next scandal.  However, you’ll be happier if you simply start looking for the good.  Actively seek out the good in those around you and in your life.  Make it a habit to ask yourself, “What three good things happened to me today?”  Get your mind focused on the good and it will increase your sense of well-being.  This will give you a boost in happiness.

7.  Start Practicing Gratefulness

None of us are perfect at being grateful.  However, the more you practice it, the better you’ll get at it.  Recognizing what you have to be thankful for and truly appreciating your blessings is a learned habit.  One that many of us have ignored for far too long.  We were never properly trained to pay attention to the so-called little things that make life comfortable and enjoyable.  For example, that hot shower in the morning or the peacefulness of a warm summer evening.  Getting really good at being grateful is probably one of the most powerful things you can do to increase your happiness.

8.  Start Realizing You Have Choices

Feeling like you have control over your life is a big factor in being happy.  The liberty to pursue what makes us happy is one of the founding principles of our country.  However, a lot of people go around thinking they are stuck.  You may not be able to change all your circumstances, but again the external conditions of your life are a small piece of the happiness puzzle.  You still have the power to choose your attitude toward what goes on around you.  Realizing this is your choice to make is a huge leap in the right direction.  Choose to be happy and you will be.  It is mostly about attitude.

9.  Start Planning Happiness Activities

What little things can you do to make yourself happier?  It can be the tiniest thing.  For example, lately, I’ve been intentionally giving myself time to play Angry Birds on my iPhone.  It may sound silly, but I enjoy it.  Identifying these little activities that you can allot time for in your day will help to boost your happiness.  There are all kinds of intentional happiness activities that you can engage in.  You just need to find the ones that work for you and make it a point to do them regularly.

10.  Start Helping Someone Less Fortunate

We become happier when we have a purpose to commit ourselves to and when we see clearly our favored position in life.  Helping others in need serves both of these purposes.  It gives your life meaning and it helps you to see just how fortunate you truly are.  There are tons of opportunities to get involved and make a difference in someone else’s life.  If you step out in this area, you won’t regret it.  In fact, I think you’ll be amazed at how quickly it makes you feel happy.

Be Happier Right Where You Are

I sincerely hope that you will use one or more of the techniques above to create more happiness in your life.  Stop looking outside yourself trying to find it and instead concentrate on getting your attitudes right.  You can squeeze quite a bit of enjoyment out of just about any situation if you approach it correctly.  The strategies above will get you started down the right path to greater happiness.

What makes you happy?  Do you even know?  If so, then please leave me a comment and share it with the rest of us.  It might help to make someone else happy.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

This is a guest post by Arvi of Self-Help & Happiness.

I decided to write this piece in response to one of my favorite posts on MySuperChargedLife.com entitled Contentment Versus Wanting More.

I say it’s one of my favorites because it’s a dilemma that I personally know all too well. I hate to say it, but the key to a happy life in this scenario isn’t striking the right balance, it isn’t being content, and it isn’t always striving for more. If you’re like me, you’ll know that playing the balancing game is easier said than done, and more often than not we either feel frustrated in the pretext of being content or we fall into the abyss of forever wanting more.

The key is to “live in the moment”. As cliché as that may sound, it’s something I’ve personally felt, and it is an exhilarating experience. While some may say this is the equivalent of being content, I assure you it is most definitely not.

Living in the Moment Is Better

Contentment is being happy with the way things are, but unlike “living in the moment”, contentment can be easily overpowered when something you desire shows up in your life, especially if it’s out of your reach. It’s easy to say we’re content when we have what we want for the time being. It’s not so easy to sing the same tune when we’re eyeing something that we’ve wanted or needed for a long time.

You cannot be content and want more at the same time. You cannot stay content while constantly wanting that new HD Plasma TV you saw this morning at the mall. You can, however, live in your current moment to its fullest, enjoy every breath, scent, sight, and sound while aiming towards buying yourself that awesome TV.

Contentment is akin to losing an aim in life, while “wanting more” is like an obsession; always aiming for greener pastures and never stopping to enjoy what’s already there. While contentment seems to be the better of the two, it’s only good while it lasts.

Imagine being content for 5 years, then realizing that if you had aimed for something in that time, like making more money, you could afford to pay for that gorgeous apartment you’ve always wanted. Contentment can, and probably will, evaporate at some point.

When you live in the moment, you see the past as an experience and the future as a possibility, but not as concrete matter.

The harsh reality is that the “future” does not exist because it can change at any given moment, and when that happens, you get thrown off-track and see yourself as “not good enough” for your own goals. This is why always wanting more is seldom a good thing, and also why contentment doesn’t work. When we live in the moment, we’re constantly aware of the blessings that we have at this very second, while always working towards making “the moment” better.

Understanding How to Live in the Moment

Now, some will say that living in the moment is a glorified way of saying “I’m a couch potato”. It isn’t. When you disallow the past from molding your impression of the current, and manage to erase all fears of a dull future, you set your mind free of unnecessary burden.

Your creativity will flow, your mind will be more focused, and you’ll be happy for all the perfection that you have right now at this very instance.

The ultimate goal here is to keep the moment going, but not to force it to be the way you’d like it to be. Are you still with me?

Bad things happen in life, that’s a fact. Events don’t always play out the way we’d like them to. If you allow yourself to construct a concrete future in your head, more often than not you’ll find disappointment waiting at the end of the road. But if you’re able to set goals for yourself, work towards them, and enjoy each and every second for what it is without desperately yearning for the end result, you’ll find that life has much more to offer along the way, and you’ll attain your goals one way or the other.

Living in the Moment Is Choosing to Be Happy

Living in the moment is the true meaning of “choosing to be happy”. It is often mistaken for contentment. All living things deny contentment. Animals move to greener habitats where there’s more food and water, and plants do whatever it takes to survive in the thick rainforests, climbing their way up bigger trees to get a glimpse of the sun.

We’re engineered to make things better for ourselves and to find ways to be happy. We have this false belief that in order to be happy we either need to stop wanting more or we have to attain what we want first before we’re made whole.

We could both constantly want more and run after our fantasies, forever resisting change, or we could be content and not work towards anything else for the rest of our lives, forever living within our comfort zones. OR, as a third option, we could set our goals and work towards them, while always remembering that changes happen for reasons we may never truly understand. We can choose to resist these changes and be disappointed, or seize the opportunity to learn from them, allowing them to make us stronger.

Doing so, we can hop back on track, continuously aiming for our goals, while constantly enjoying the life that we have right now, never once allowing envy, greed, jealously, fear, or desperation to get in our way.

That is the true meaning of happiness, and the right way to reach our goals, in my humble opinion.

Stay happy.

About the author : Arvi isn’t a self-help guru or a hippie who sings sappy songs around a campfire (not that there’s anything wrong with that). He is, however, as perplexed as you are about the lives we lead and the struggles we face. Therefore, he’s made it a point to try and grow happier each day, one day at a time. Also, his hair doesn’t need combing because it’s awesome just the way it is. Read more articles from Arvi at selfhelpandhappiness.info.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

We believe a lot of erroneous things about happiness.  These happiness myths cost us a great deal in terms of enjoyment and fulfillment in life.  They send us off on wild goose chases seeking a better life in all the wrong places.

Fortunately, as with most myths, once they’ve been debunked, they lose their power over our lives.  Furthermore, once we are exposed to the truth, we can embrace new beliefs about happiness and experience all that we’ve been missing.

Five common happiness myths debunked!

I have compiled what I believe are five very common falsehoods we often believe about happiness.  I hope that by exposing these I can help you debunk the way these myths rob you of happiness in your day-to-day life.

By the way, I have bought into all of these at one time or another in my life so I know firsthand how they destroy our happiness.

Myth #1 – You are either happy or you’re not and that’s that.

Some believe that you are either born happy or you’re not and while it is true that as much as 50% of our happiness level is determined by our set point, research reveals that ample opportunity exists for us to affect our happiness through some effort.  It is important that we take personal responsibility for our own happiness and educate ourselves on ways to make ourselves happier.  Increasing happiness is possible and it’s not that hard.

Myth #2 – Happiness is a feeling that mysteriously comes and goes

Happiness can sway with our emotions, but again we have a significant level of influence in this process if we choose to exercise it.  Our happiness level really isn’t as mysterious as it may seem.  Scientists have compiled ample research to show that by engaging in intentional happiness activities, we can lastingly elevate our happiness level.

Myth #3 – Happiness should be effortless

Sustained happiness requires conscious effort.  Real happiness is not just a result of designing our lives with all the right circumstances either.  In fact, researchers have discovered that our circumstances, whether we are rich or poor, married or single, healthy or unhealthy, only determines a small portion of our happiness level.  Those that experience happiness without effort just have a higher genetic set point.  The rest of us need to exert effort to experience greater happiness.

Myth #4 – I’d be happy if I was rich and didn’t have to work

The way you perceive your life has a lot more to do with your happiness than your actual circumstances.  We all know or have heard of rich people that seem exceedingly unhappy (e.g. Paris Hilton, Britney Spears).  We also are aware of poor folks that seem incredibly happy (e.g. Mother Teresa).  Exercising gratitude for what you have instead of focusing on the negative side of your circumstances can greatly influence your sense of well-being.

Myth #5 – I’d be happy if all these people weren’t irritating me

It is easy to blame other people for our lack of happiness.  However, the truth is that most of our happiness lies in our attitude and reaction to what people do around us.  If you teach yourself to think differently about these situations, you will stop giving up the power to be happy.  Happiness is a choice that we make daily.

Expose the lies and set yourself free to be happy!

Living life to the fullest requires us to acknowledge many miss held beliefs.  We have to debunk the myths and find the truth to discover the freedom to be happy. 

Letting go of these myths isn’t always easy.  In some cases, we’ve been conditioned over many years by our families, society and the popular media to believe these are true.  It takes work to turn your thinking around, but I’m finding that it is definitely worth it.

I’ve been working hard lately to overcome these myths and it is paying off!  I hope you too are able to see these for the lies that they are and start to experience more happiness every day!

Which of these myths are you most prone to believing?

Photo by billaday

We often drive ourselves crazy pursuing more. In fact, constantly wanting more is what has pushed America into a recession. Greed, envy and an obsession for more has taken it’s toll. Let us now pursue contentment!

Three fantastic articles about contentment and having enough

There is no better time to become content with what you have. We are richly blessed! When was the last time that you even had to concern yourself with the basic necessities of life? Many struggle every day just to survive. We need to remind ourselves of this more often!

1. Accept that your paycheck is enough!

I really enjoyed David’s article this week over at MoneyNing. He wrote 5 Surefire Ways to Stop Thinking Your Paycheck is Never Enough. I’ve been guilty of this. Again, we make plenty. We simply get caught up in thinking we need more. Raises will probably be conservative in 2009 for most people. David’s advice to stop comparing yourself to others and to avoid jumping your lifestyle ahead of where it should be is very timely.

2. Material possessions do not make us happy!

David at My Two Dollars wrote Finding Contentment While Others Around You Want More. He warns us not to fall into the trap of believing that a new possession will make us happy. I’ve made this mistake a ton of times in the past. I, like David, have experienced the rush of making a new purchase only to be let down in a few weeks or a few days. David shares some great ways to help us avoid repeating this mistake.

3. Start enjoying today right where you’re at!

Rather than continually seeking happiness elsewhere, become content right where you’re at! Sara at On Simplicity shares some Simple Ways You Can Start Enjoying Today. I like her suggestion to stop saying, “I’ll be happy when…”. Again, been there, done that! We are in control of our lives so, why do we continually make ourselves so miserable by always wanting more? Why not just enjoy what we have? If we don’t, life will be over and we’ll have wasted it.

Happiness is a choice!

We have the power to be content with our lives and savor the good things in it. It is a choice that we make every waking moment. What will you choose today?

Here are a few other articles I enjoyed reading this week:

• 10 Businesses You Can Start For Peanuts (or less!)
• 6 Reasons Why I Joined Toastmasters
• As Long As You Can Make The Payments – You’re Fine

Photo by exfordy