Are you seeking a breakthrough in your life?

A better life is just around the corner.  All it takes is a little understanding.

Saying yes to change is where you begin.  You see, if you want a big breakthrough, you have to be willing to make BIG changes.

You can’t go on living your life like you always have and expect to wake up tomorrow and receive different results.

Life just doesn’t work that way.

New results flow from new actions.  Therefore, to achieve a breakthrough – change is required.

A Key Area for Change and Breakthroughs

One of the key areas where we need to change is in how we handle our relationships.

So much of our success or failure in life is derived from our relationships.

Think about it.  To feel successful, you need to know that you are loved and valued. Also, it takes others working with you to achieve your biggest goals.

No man or woman is truly an island.

Much of our satisfaction in life relates directly back to the quality of our relationships.

Therefore, if you are seeking a breakthrough in your life, closely examining the condition of your relationships is paramount.

Coming to a Crossroads

Sometimes our lives can be headed for disaster and we don’t even realize it.  We believe we are doing fine, but then WHAM, we get hit with reality.

That’s what happened to Alex Blackwell.

“In the summer of 2003, when I turned 41, I was separated from my wife, emotionally and psychically, distanced from my children, and alienated from God.  My life was in emotional and spiritual decay.”

~ Alex Blackwell, author of Saying Yes to Change

After 17 years of marriage, Alex’s wife wanted out.  Enough was enough.

Alex had a rough childhood.  His mother was an alcoholic that largely neglected her family.

At the age of six, he developed a pronounced stuttering problem and, due to poor eyesight, had to start wearing glasses.

This made him a target for bullies and playground taunting.

As an adult, Alex was driven to prove his childhood antagonists wrong.

He poured himself into his career and he was successful, in fact, he was an overachiever, but at a cost.

That’s when Alex found himself alone and no longer able to deny the reality of his situation.

He was at a crossroads.

Alex could let this destroy him or he could say yes to change.

Saying Yes to Change

Alex was imprisoned by his past.  He’d closed his heart off to those he needed the most.  This was holding him back from enjoying what he had.

“My fears were holding me captive. I was terrified to let go and relinquish my need to be perfect in everything I did. My pursuit of perfection kept me from seeing what was right in front of me – waiting there, perfectly for me.”

~ Alex Blackwell, author of Saying Yes to Change

Alex summoned the courage and faced his demons.  Along the way, he learned some valuable lessons.

For example, Alex learned the importance of relationships.  In his words:

“I learned if my heart was going to connect with the hearts of others, I had to be the one to connect it. I learned it was up to me to create the life I want.”

~ Alex Blackwell, author of Saying Yes to Change

Just like Alex, you have a choice.  You stand at a crossroads.

You can continue on the path you are on, and if you are truly happy, then by all means proceed.

But, perhaps, you fit one of these situations:

• You never feel quite fulfilled and you know there just has to be more to life.
• You’ve experienced a devastating blow like Alex and need to put the pieces of your life back together.
• You are suffering with pain from a troubled past and desire freedom.
• You know your relationships aren’t what they should be and you want to change.

If you can identify with any of the circumstances above, in the slightest way, then I’d highly encourage you to read Alex’s new book.

In Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change, Alex walks us through his journey.  He explains how he confronts the pain from his past and learns to move beyond it to enjoy what the present moment offers.

Through this process Alex was able to restore his marriage and reclaim his family.

That’s powerful!

Here are the lessons that Alex talks about in the book:

• LESSON 1: PREPARE YOUR SOUL FOR CHANGE
• LESSON 2: FIND FREEDOM FROM PAIN
• LESSON 3: LISTEN TO YOUR INNER PHILOSOPHER
• LESSON 4: RECOGNIZE YOUR BEAUTY
• LESSON 5: LEARN TO L IVE WITHOUT ASTERISKS
• LESSON 6: BE INSPIRED BY LOVE
• LESSON 7: LIVE BEYOND YOUR SKIN
• LESSON 8: FIND THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF FAILURE
• LESSON 9: TAKE DOWN THE WHITE FLAG
• LESSON 10: LET FAITH BE YOUR GUIDE

I’ve been reading a copy of the book that Alex sent me and I can tell you that it is absolutely awesome!  I’d highly recommend it.

Breakthrough to Your New Life

Even if you don’t think this book applies to you, it does.  Trust me, you’ll learn a lot about how to improve your relationships and overcome some hidden demons in your own life by reading Alex’s book.

If you think I’m just saying all this because it benefits me in some way, you’re wrong.  I don’t make a dime if you buy Alex’s book.  I’m simply sharing a terrific resource that I know can make a difference in people’s lives.

It made a big difference in Alex’s:

“I’m certain the lessons I have learned up until now, and the ones I’m still learning, are ones that will continue to make a difference in my life and my family’s life.”

~ Alex Blackwell, author of Saying Yes to Change

If you need a breakthrough, then take a look at this book.  Read through the lessons that Alex learned and discover how to say yes to change!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Do you magnify the positive in your life?

It never ceases to amaze me how people want to amplify the negative in their life instead of the positive.

They focus incessantly on all that is going wrong.  They make list upon list of what they can’t do.

When you view yourself through this lens, you see a chicken instead of an eagle.

You shrink, limit and close off your life.

Perhaps, you aren’t completely negative, but still are you magnifying the positive and believing the very best?

In the end, you get exactly what you are looking for.  Will you be a chicken or an eagle?

Being Trapped in a Tunnel of Hopelessness

A chicken is limited.  It lives in a coop.  It scratches for food.  It makes noise.

An eagle soars.

Those stuck in the rut of always seeing things in a negative light will tell you:

• The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train
• Life is hard and unfair
• Sh*t happens
• It is foolish and unrealistic to be so positive
• I hate my life
• Viewing the world through rose colored glasses only makes things worse
• I don’t want to set myself up for a big letdown
• Every time I try, life knocks me down again
• The rich get richer and the poor get poorer
• I don’t even know why I keep trying
• That’s not the way things happen in the real world
• Everything is just hopeless
• I can’t…<insert list here>

Do you catch yourself thinking or saying things like this?  It seems really easy to slip off into this abyss.

For many, being a chicken is the default position.  It takes no effort to go there.  Is this you?

If so, what does this get you?  Are you satisfied with the life it produces?

I hear from people all the time that tell me whole life stories that are full of the phrases above.  They catalog all the reasons why their lives are so bad and why they CAN’T get out of the hole they are in.

I admit that they are often up against incredible difficulties.  Many of which are beyond their control.  My heart goes out to these people.  It really does.  Their stories are gut-wrenching.  I wished I could flip a switch and make it all better for them, but unfortunately I can’t.

The only thing I can do is offer hope.  Tell them that they CAN be an eagle.

But often even this is rejected.

Magnifying the Positive and Believing the Best

What choice will you make?

I think there is a little chicken in all of us.  We all have some limiting thoughts that hold us back.  We can all work on improving our ability to magnify the positive and believe the best.

To be an eagle, you must continually examine your thought life.

You have to choose to amplify the positive instead of the negative.

Here are a few ways to start magnifying the positive and believing the best:

1.  Intensify Your Gratitude

Consciously elect to be extremely grateful for the good things that exist in your life.  There have to be a few.  In fact, I’d challenge you that there a likely a lot of things that you CAN be grateful for if you just choose to be and look through the right lens.

Whatever you enjoy.  Whatever delights you.  Whatever is going right.  Focus on these.

No matter what your situation is, you likely have at least a few things you can be grateful for.  Magnify these things.

Maybe it is as simple as the warmth of sunshine or the beauty of flowers.  Maybe it is a family member.  Perhaps it is your health.

Find some things every day and be intensely grateful for these things.  It will change your life.

2.  Obsess Over What You CAN Do

Forget about your so-called limitations and instead start obsessing over what you CAN do.

Make a list of what is possible instead of what is impossible.

You might not be able to jump immediately from where you are today to where you ultimately want to be, but at least start doing what you can.

This will open up further opportunities.  I guarantee it.

I wrote a whole article about doing what you can called Do what you CAN to Achieve More.  I highly suggest reading it.

3.  Recruit Some Allies

Start hanging around places where you are likely to find allies in this journey.

Often, we fall into the trap of negativity either because we isolate ourselves or because we are driving under the influence of others.

You can be your own worst enemy.  Or your family and so-called friends can be your worst enemy.

Either way, you need some new allies.  Some people that will help you see the world in a different way.

There are a multitude of places to find these people.  Here are a few suggestions:

• Online (via sites like this blog - you can also friend me on Facebook to find more)
• At a Toastmasters meeting in your local area
• In a Twelve Step Group - there’s probably one for you
• At a good church in your community
• At a Meetup that relates to one of your interests
• On the radio – I recommend Dave Ramsey, K-Love & Victor Schueller
• In books – see my reading list
• Via very intentional plans targeted at specific areas of improvement

Obviously, you don’t have to meet people in person for them to become your ally.  They can pump you up with the positivity you need from a distance.

Get Started with Being More Positive Today

What are you waiting for?  You don’t want to remain a chicken do you?

You were made to soar like an eagle.  You just need to start magnifying the positive and believing the best.

What stands in your way?  Reply to this or leave a comment and let me know.

I’m here to help!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Needing a restart in life?

If you ever watch Olympic track and field events, then you know that sometimes officials have to restart a race because one of the runners jumped the gun or otherwise messed up.

This happens in life too.  You might find yourself in a place where you have to start over.  Maybe it wasn’t even your fault, but nevertheless you are still back at the starting line.

This can be a difficult place to be.  It can foster self-doubt, anxiety and worry.  These cracks in your confidence can let  damaging lies creep in and take hold.  A good, fresh start requires you to defeat these falsehoods.

7 Common Lies We Need to Defeat

These lies keep us from starting out strong again.  They hold us back and mire us in a sucking muck that is like quicksand.  You absolutely must defeat these lies before you can restart your life in a strong and positive position.

Here are the seven common lies we need to defeat:

Lie #1 – I can’t do that

Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”  That’s why this lie is the first one on my list of negative thoughts that you simply must overcome.  What you think of yourself is truly powerful.  If you think you can’t, then you are more likely to give up sooner or fail to start all together.  I’m a firm believer that you have what it takes.  Now, you just need to convince yourself of the same.  If you struggle with this lie, then I’d recommend reading 3 Things You Need to Know About Yourself before you go on.

Lie #2 – I always mess things up

Being back at the starting line in life can lead one to believe this lie even when you aren’t really at fault.  Whether you made a mistake in this instance or not, you need to get your mind straight about yourself.  You don’t always mess things up.  There have been plenty of things that you’ve done right.  I’d suggest making a written list of the things you’ve done right in your life.  Writing it out will give you a place to go back to when doubts start creeping in again.

Lie #3 – Nothing ever goes my way

This is a victim mentality that you must put away immediately.  It is okay to feel sorry for yourself in the beginning.  You have to grieve your loss.  But, in fairly short order, you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.  Life is not out to get you.  Believing that it is will only sink you further in the hole (one you may never escape if you let it go on too long).  You may have been dealt a bad hand, but that’s over now.  Even though you may be going through a bleak period, you’ve got to remember that bad times do not last forever.  Life has its seasons.  If you are going through a difficult period, remember, things will turn.  You need to get ahold of some positive thoughts and cling to them for all you’re worth.  Here are some tips on how to fill your mind with positive thinking to defeat this lie.

Lie #4 – It is selfish to follow my dreams

Everyone deserves the opportunity to seek fulfillment.  It is not selfish to pursue things that you desire.  The people in your life may have to bend a little to accommodate you.  This is completely okay.  Healthy relationships and families need to be able to exercise some give and take.  As a part of your restart, it is not at all selfish for you to ask for some flexibility from those around you.  Now, please don’t get me wrong here.  I’m not giving you permission to run away from all your responsibilities.  I’m just saying that it is a lie to think that you have to be miserable or that you are selfish to ask others for their support.  There is a way to follow your dreams AND to fulfill your other commitments.  You may have to be creative in how you go about it, but if you are diligent, you will find a way.

Lie #5 – I need to make them pay

Sometimes, when a person has to start over, they feel the need to get revenge on the party (or parties) that might have played a role in their current predicament.  This is completely fruitless.  In fact, it is entirely counterproductive and a total waste of time.  If you feel like you need to make someone else pay for your situation, then you are believing a lie.  Your energy and focus right now should be on how you can most effectively restart your life.  Nursing bitter feelings and/or planning retaliation will drain you of vital energy and could likely only compound your troubles.  Get over it.  Let it go.  Purge your mind clean of all this nonsense.  Trust me, it will lighten your load and do you good to just move on.

Lie #6 – I can’t do what I want in this economy

This has got to be one of the most pervasive lies out there right now.  Everyone seems to want to blame every bad circumstance in their life on the economy.  The reality is that external factors are rarely the insurmountable obstacles we make them out to be.  Usually, we just fail to change and adapt to the new realities around us.  You may have to go about things a little differently.  You may need to put a new twist on an old idea.  You may have to make adjustments both personally and professionally, but you can survive and even thrive in this economy or any other.  Don’t let this lie stop you!

Lie #7 – I should just take it easy

Finally, when faced with starting over, you may find yourself procrastinating.  One way this occurs is by making excuses for yourself.  For example, you may cling to the lie that you’ve been through a lot lately and you deserve to take it easy for awhile.  While it is usually a good idea to “cool off” after a major life change before making any big decisions, don’t let this become a cop-out.  Your opportunities for starting over are probably best right now.  The longer you wait, the harder it will be to get yourself back in the game.  Do not let fear, lies and excuses hold you back.

Kick the Lies and Restart Your Life

Restarting your life isn’t easy.  The first battle you have to win is in your own head.  My best advice to you is to seek as many positive inputs as you can to squeeze out all the lies.  Your brain tends to believe whatever it hears.  If you can drowned out the negative self-talk with a lot of encouraging, uplifting and reassuring messages, then you will be well on your way to defeating these lies and to creating a new you.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Do you sometimes wish you could toss out everything and start over?

A new beginning isn’t as hard to achieve as you might think.  There are numerous ways that you can restore your life and create a fresh sense of hope.

When you feel as though you can’t do something, the simple antidote is action: Begin doing it. Start the process, even if it’s just a simple step, and don’t stop at the beginning. Take the next step and the next until what you’ve dreamed about begins to become reality.  ~ Marcus Buckingham

In fact, as Marcus Buckingham points out, if you simply take action it is amazing what you can do.  Again, improving your life or starting over isn’t as hard as it may seem.  You just need to pick a path and get started.  This will infuse you with energy, power and a renewed feeling of self-confidence.

Tossing Out Everything Isn’t Even Necessary

You might feel like you need to toss everything out right now, but I bet if you stop and think for a minute, you will realize there are some parts of your life that you want to keep.

Before you embark on ways to start over, it is worth counting up all the good in your life.  What people, places or things do you value and want to hang on to? 

This is an important step to take because some actions are irreversible.  You want to take positive action that will improve your life, not harm it.

Inventory what matters to you and be sure you protect these things.

7 Ways to Take Action Toward a New Beginning

You can have a do-over starting today. But you have to get over the feeling that it’s too late.
~ Jean Chatzky

Sometimes we just need a little push in the right direction to get us back on track and happy with our lives again.  That’s why I’m going to offer you some suggestions to act as a catalyst.  Of course, you are the only one that can truly change your life.

Tossing out everything is usually too radical and unrealistic.  Before you go there, you may want to consider some less extreme and more practical strategies that can have a big impact.

Are you willing to begin your do-over?  If so, then pick a plan and get started!

1.  Get a New Job or Career

We spend a lot of time at work.  Therefore, the environment at work has a tremendous influence over our lives.  If you feel like you need a big change, then it may be time to make a serious career move.  It is not as hard as you think and it can make a huge difference.

2.  Throw Out the Clutter and Get Organized

Is your life full of clutter?  Are you constantly disorganized?  This is draining and depressing.  You need to clean up and get things in order.  This can have an amazing effect on your mood and it will help you to stop wasting energy.

3.  Straighten Out Your Financial Mess

Now is a great time to take your money by the horns and show it who is the boss.  There is nothing that will help you more than getting control of your finances.  I recently told the story of my personal economic recovery.  It was definitely a renewing experience.  You simply don’t realize how big of a role money plays in your life until you face the issues and defeat them.

4.  Fix a Broken Relationship or Start a New One

Relationships are vital to a great life.  You can really turn things around in your life by restoring an old connection or beginning a new one.  Of course, it is important that you understand how to find true love before you run off and cause yourself more hurt and pain.  Do this wisely and you’ll be floating on air in no time.

5.  Plan an Adventure

Adventure adds spice to life.  It reawakens our curiosity and renews a spirit of excitement.  Adventures don’t have to be faraway places or extremely expensive.  There are a number of adventures that anyone can use to spice up their lives.  Pick one and get started today!

6.  Revive an Old Dream

You don’t have to remain who you are doing what you’ve always done.  What did you used to dream about doing when you were younger?  Why not go for that now?  What have you got to lose?  You can revive your old dreams with a step-by-step plan to live life to the fullest.

7.  Dump the Pounds and Renew Your Body

Exercise and good nutrition can do wonders for your mental state.  If you’ve been feeling down, then why not take steps to improve your mental and physical health at the same time?  The best way to do this is with a commonsense and stress-free approach to weight loss.  Dropping a few pounds is a fantastic way to start your life over.

Toss Out the Bad and Move On to the Good

While I certainly understand the desire to toss out everything, I’m a big believer that it is possible to make a huge improvement with a much more surgical approach.  I’d recommend zeroing in on what is bringing you down and attacking that first.  Afterwards, you may find that there is a lot of good in your life to enjoy without having to start over from the beginning.

Photo by theswedish

Do you recognize your own happiness?

Many people go through life never really appreciating their happiness.  They never stop and relish in enjoyable moments.  This is really tragic.

We hurry to the next thing.  We press on towards higher achievement.  We continually seek more, but when do we just stop and celebrate our happiness?

This lack of recognizing our own well-being and contentment is one of the reasons that we often feel so empty and unfulfilled.  We simply don’t take the time to appreciate the simple, but meaningful moments in our lives.

Do You Know If You Are Happy?

Being happy is something you have to learn. I often surprise myself by saying "Wow, this is it. I guess I’m happy.”  ~ Harrison Ford

Have you stopped to evaluate your own happiness lately? When was the last time that you nodded in the affirmative, smiled to yourself and said, “I’m doing okay and I’m really happy.”?

As a kid, did you ever sing the song “If You’re Happy and You Know It”?  It goes like this:

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you’re happy and you know it,

And you really want to show it,

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.

A common variation of the 4th line is "Then your face will surely show it.”
source: Wikipedia 

As adults, I think we can learn a thing or two from this song.  We can learn to stop and take a moment to recognize our own happiness.  We can also learn to physically express and celebrate it.

As I’ve I already warned, Life Is Too Short.  We cannot let precious moments of happiness simply slip away from us without relishing in them.

Sources of Happiness to Recognize and Celebrate

Real happiness does not come from possessions, wealth or power.  Hollywood is littered with examples of the truth in this statement.  Here are some of the places where I think we are most likely to find happiness to celebrate:

1.  Clarity

No pleasure is comparable to the standing upon the vantage-ground of truth. 
~ Francis Bacon

You will likely feel happy when you have clarity about yourself, your life direction and your surroundings.  In other words, when you can honestly and openly see and accept the truth.  A lot of misery is the result of just the opposite.  Struggling against the truth rarely, if ever, works out in a positive manner.  Celebrate your happiness when you have clarity.

2.  Hope

Hope is itself a species of happiness, and perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.  ~ Samuel Johnson

Hope is the feeling that you have something to look forward to with reasonable confidence.  Generally, when we have hope, we have happiness.  Hope often comes when we start taking positive action in the right direction.  Therefore, work toward a desired goal can make us happy.  We should acknowledge our hope and be glad in it.

3.  Personal Freedom

The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

No matter where you are or what you’re circumstances, no one can take away the freedom you have in your heart.  Victor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”  Be happy for the inner freedom you have to be you and to choose your responses to life.

4.  Inner Peace

The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy.  ~ Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

Do you choose to be happy?  Are you at peace with yourself and your choices?  As the quote above states, happiness comes from our attitude and not the external circumstances of our lives.  Attitude is the way we choose to view our life and circumstances.  The inner peace that results from adopting the right attitudes leads to happiness worth celebrating!

If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands

If you are happy and you know it, then I applaud you.  You have mastered some very difficult mental obstacles.  You should clap your hands and applaud yourself.  It is likely a result of clarity, hope, freedom and inner peace.

If you aren’t sure about your happiness, then maybe this article has prompted you to think about it.  I encourage you to choose to be happy.  We only have one life and it goes fast.  Life is too short to be unhappy!

Photo by e³°°°

There are a lot of changes going on right now.  There are economic changes, political changes and for some, big life changes.  This can be a scary and confusing place to be.

All these changes, are leaving people in a place they never thought they’d find themselves.  They need to start all over again.

Regardless of how you might have ended up where you are at, starting over is not easy.  Most of us have forgotten what it is like to begin again.  We grew so used to our life and the way it flowed, that we aren’t even sure how to handle waking up not knowing what to do.

I urge you not to give up!  A new life is out there for you.  Yes, you have some work to do and no it won’t necessarily be easy, but you can do it.  You can build yourself a new life.  Let me share some thoughts with you on how to go about it.

Six Steps to Starting Your Life All Over

Starting fresh may seem attractive to some, but for most of us it is a very difficult place to be.  That’s totally understandable.  If you find yourself in this position, then hope is not lost, but you’re probably going to need to reset your thinking in order to find a new life.

I hope these suggestions will help.

1.  Get a Plan to Guide You to a New Life

The number one thing you need when you are trying to start over is a solid plan.  Big life changes can be paralyzing.  They can leave you feeling afraid, confused and hopeless.

A good plan will help you to overcome your paralysis.  It will guide you step-by-step through a process to decide what you want and how to get it.  After all, you wouldn’t start a trip without a destination in mind and a map to follow, now would you?

The plan that I’d recommend is Discover Your Passion: A Step-by-Step Course for Creating the Life of Your Dreams.  It was developed by Barrie Davenport, a career and life transition coach.  You will not find a better resource to get you back on your feet.  Barrie’s material will help you start over from the beginning to build the perfect life.  Don’t hesitate to get this great guide to starting your life over!

2.  Adjust Your Perspective to Your New Situation

Take an honest inventory of your life.  Many people find this very difficult.  They refuse to accept that they are starting over from scratch.  Instead, they bury their heads in the sand and try to continue living like they always have.  If you really need to start over, then denying it simply won’t work.

Put your pride aside and be willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild your life.  Frugal Dad recently highlighted a book called Scratch Beginnings.  It details the real-life journey of Adam Shepard, who upon graduating from college put aside his degree and all his worldly possessions and tried to start over in a new city with only $25.

While Adam’s situation was self-imposed, I believe the lessons he learned and the attitudes he adopted would be helpful to anyone having to begin again.  Getting the right perspective on where you are at is an essential first step to getting your life back on track.

3.  Dig Deep and Remember How You Did It the First Time

Most of us started out in life from a clean slate.  We built our lives from scratch once so surely we can use some of the same methods to do it again.  It is a stretch, but recalling how you did it the first time is probably a very useful exercise.

Take the lessons that you learned the first time around and use them to avoid repeating any mistakes you made before.  Mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of admitting.  Our mistakes are how we gain experience.

If you are starting over, then you probably have a good deal of experience on your side this time that you didn’t have before.  This is to your credit.  Use your experience to jumpstart your new life!

4.  Set a Few Simple Goals

You’ve got to clear your head.  As Ron at The Wisdom Journal points out, having too many goals is like having none.  You need focus right now and the best way that I know to achieve this is to set a few simple goals.

I suggest that you set two or three short-range goals that you want to accomplish in the next three months.  Also, I recommend looking out a year from now and envisioning where you want yourself to be.  Be realistic but also stretch yourself.

In his book, Adam Shepard set short-range goals to get out of the homeless shelter and to have a job by a certain date.  Your situation may or may not be this dire.  The point is to get focused on exactly what you want to accomplish.  Set a few goals and pursue them vigorously!

5.  Become a Master of Your Finances

Money is the fuel you need to keep your life going while you are recovering.  You’ve got to get absolute control over every penny you have.  Madison at My Dollar Plan shares some great resources for doing this in Money by the numbers.

When you are starting over, you can’t afford to make a lot of financial mistakes.  Generally, you are walking a economic tight wire.  Fortunately, there are a ton of free resources on the Internet to help you become a master of your financial destiny.

Of course, you want to exercise caution and remember, "If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is."  Don’t be tempted to try a shortcut to getting back on your feet.  It will likely lead you into a blind dead-end.  Be patient and work your plan.  You’ll be living a new life before you know it!

6.  Wheel and Deal to Accelerate Your Recovery

You’ve got to negotiate with everyone on everything right now to get your new life going as quickly as possible.  Sara at On Simplicity recently wrote a fantastic guide to bartering that I recommend reading.

Trading your labor or expertise for things you need is a great way to save money and to build new relationships as you start a new life.  You’ve got to think differently right now.  Most of us, don’t negotiate and barter enough in our regular lives.  We get stuck thinking too narrowly.

Now is the time to break free from these ruts and discover new ways to get even more out of life.  Be bold.  You’ll get more than you expect if you will just ask.  Make deals and deliver value to everyone you meet.  This is a sure way to rebuilding a life you’ll love in no time!

Discover a New Life Better than Your Old One

It is probably hard to see now, but often when forced to rebuild our lives, we find the new one is even better than the old.  I got a taste of this when I lost my home to a tornado back in 1999.  It was a trying time, but we made it through.  When it was all said and done, we had a new life that was even better than before!

Have you ever had to start over?  What advice would you share?

Photo by Marco Bellucci

There’s some hard times in the neighborhood
But why can’t every day be just this good?
~ Travis Tritt

Are you aware of all that you have going for you?

If you read or watch the news too often, you might start to think that the deck is stacked against you.  It seems like we are up against insurmountable odds.  At present, according to the media, it would seem that Armageddon is just around the corner ushered in by one or more of the following:

• Our Crazy Economy
• Craigslist Killers
• Republicans
• The Swine Flu

Being grateful is the antidote for all the fear and anxiety that is prevalent right now.

Being grateful for the things we have in our favor

Contrary to what these naysayers would lead you to believe, I think we have a ton of reasons to have hope.  We just need to take a little time to count up what we have going for us. 

I’ll offer the following list of things that leave me feeling very grateful.  I believe these things are all we need to recover from anything we may face.

1.  I woke up and had the strength to get out of bed this morning.

This is where it all begins.  As long as I wake up in the morning, I have the power to make a difference in my life and the lives of others.  If I can get up, then all the better.  The only thing holding me back from there is my own fears and limited thinking.

2.  I have good people that support and encourage me.

I am fortunate enough that I have people in my life that want me to succeed.  My family and friends love me and cheer me on to victory every day.  Knowing they are behind me and rely on me inspires me to always reach for more.

3.  I ate yesterday and today and I’m likely to eat again tomorrow.

Not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have the basic necessities of life so readily available.  Many do not even have clean drinking water!  I don’t have to be concerned about where my next meal is coming from which frees me up to pursue greater things.

4.  I have a sound mind with which to imagine a better tomorrow.

Hope starts with your imagination.  Picturing in your mind where you want to be a week, month or year from now is the beginning of what it takes to formulate a plan.  I am fortunate enough that I can clearly envision the path to where I want to go.

5.  I have the personal freedom to choose my actions and reactions.

No matter what the circumstances, I choose my reaction.  I can decide to make the best of it.  Regardless of my government, my health, my financial situation or even if I am in prison, I decide whether I am free.  My attitude is the biggest limitation I face.

These five essentials are all we need to improve our lives

I am grateful for the things I listed above.  I believe they are all I really need to start to improve my life.  Fortunately, I am starting with so much more!  How about you?  Where are you at?  Do you have the things listed above?  If so, then you have plenty of reason to hope for a better future!

Be grateful and count your blessings regularly.  We take so many things for granted!  We are not powerless.  There is plenty of reason to have hope.  Practicing gratefulness is a great way to restore your belief in tomorrow!

What are you grateful for in your life?

Photo by JAIRO BD

Many people need to overcome some difficult obstacles in their lives right now.  There are people all over the place that are struggling. 

Some are unemployed, some have health issues, some are having marriage difficulties and some are financially strapped.  Whatever your situation, hope is the cure.

Hope is the fuel we need to make good things happen in our life.  Hope is what drives us and pushes us toward something better.  Hope is…well, our only hope.

Where there is no vision, the people perish ~ Proverbs 29:18

We must stoke the fire of hope deep in ourselves if we want to overcome obstacles in our life and return to days of sunshine and happiness!

3 things to do if you are struggling with hope

Last night, I attended Dave Ramsey’s Town Hall for Hope.  It was an exciting and powerful event dealing with the fear many have about our current economic situation.

Dave said that many of us are filled with the Spirit of Eeyore!  You remember Eeyore, don’t you!?!  He was the donkey on Winnie the Pooh that was always going around moaning things like, “Oh, poor me.  Nothing is ever going to get better.  Why should I even try?”

We must cast out the Spirit of Eeyore and I’m about to tell you how to do it!

Dave closed by offering three things to do if you are struggling with hope.  These three things are very simple.  Anyone can do them.  Yet, they are also very powerful.  They truly can restore your hope if you will just do them.

Here are the three things Dave Ramsey suggested along with some comments from me:

1.  Get up and take action

Do something!  Stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Yes, life might have dealt you a bum hand, but the only way to fix it is to do get up and get busy making it better.  Take some kind of positive action today!  Even if it doesn’t make much sense – take action!

The simplest action can start giving you back a sense of power and control.  Make a phone call, go for a walk, read an encouraging book, do some research on the Internet.  Take control of your life and start making something happen!

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey tells us that successful people are proactive.  You must take action if you want things to change.  The first step in creating change is to do something.  Get moving!  Create a little momentum.  Before long you’ll become the little train that could!

2.  Don’t participate in loser talk

Stop the pity party!  You have to start turning your thinking from negative to positive if you want better things to start happening.  Loser talk is poison that is destroying your hope.  Stop this self-defeating behavior!

Refuse to engage in anymore griping.  Instead, go out and get your self a positive audio book and listen to it.  If you are broke without a penny to your name, then go to the library and check one out!  Feed your mind hope-building encouragement and you will start to see things turn around.

You’ve got to pull yourself out of this tailspin!  Stop watching the news or participating in discussions that drag you down.  Instead, use that time to find opportunities to build yourself up.  I highly recommend going to Joel Osteen’s web site and reading the positive message of hope he has to offer.

3.  Learn to give again

This one seems counterintuitive.  You might think, “I’m down and out.  I just don’t have anything left to offer someone else.”  Well, we all have something to give.  If nothing else, we can offer someone else encouragement.  We can share a little hope with them.

Doing things for others gets our mind off our situation and worries.  It invigorates us.  Go help your neighbor work in their yard.  Donate a wad of cash to your favorite local charity.  Serve dinner at the local soup kitchen.  Give of your time, talents and treasure.

Giving is one of the best ways I know to rekindle your hope!  When you give, you will reap a harvest of hope.  You will chase away the haze that covers your life right now.  Giving will truly help you regain a positive outlook on life.

You can overcome obstacles and get your life back on track if you will simply do these three things to restore your hope!

Just do it!  Trust me on this one.  No matter how bleak your situation may seem, there are brighter days ahead if you will start today to regain your hope!  The three things above are simple, easy and there is no excuse in the world for why you can’t do them.

Do you want your life to be better?  Then get busy making it so.  No one else is going to fix what is wrong.  YOU are the one that has the most power to change your current situation for the better.  Do you believe that?  If not, then do the three things above to regain your hope in yourself.

I’ll leave you with one last thought.  Do you remember Randy Pausch and Christopher Reeve?  Few of us face more bleak circumstances than these two did, but they made the most of the time they had.  They lived with hope!  They were positive!  They inspired others and they gave of themselves to help others.  What more inspiration can you ask for?

Photo by bestfor

Changing bad habits or addictions is extremely difficult.  We all have our habits that we cling to despite their negative affect on our lives.  We often want to do the right thing, but the harder we try to change, the more we end up giving in to our bad habits.  It can become a destructive cycle in our lives.  So, how do we overcome these obstacles and start creating positive change?  That’s what I’d like to address today.

I’d like to share a few observations from a real-life success story.  Yesterday, I posted An Inspirational Story of Positive Choices and Radical Change.  In this article, a reader of mine, Ryan, told the story of how he overcame his addiction to drugs and alcohol.  He completely flipped his life from one of despair and destruction to a life of growth and hope.  How did he do it?

How to create positive change in your life.

Let’s examine Ryan’s story and see what we can learn about creating positive change.  I think there is a clear progression and that these things apply regardless of what you face.  Your bad habit doesn’t have to be as extreme as drug and alcohol abuse.  It could be smoking, overeating, or losing your temper.  Whatever it is, these lessons from Ryan can help you beat it.

1.  Find something or someone that makes change worth it.

You need motivation to create positive change in your life.  As I mentioned and as you probably already know, change is hard.  However, if we have a good reason to change, then it becomes much easier.  In Ryan’s case, he realized he had to change or his girlfriend was going to leave him.  Many people change bad habits affecting their health for their children’s sake or to avoid divorce.  Whatever it is, you have to find a reason to change that is bigger than the habit.  Do it for someone you love!

2.  Make a firm decision to change and stick to it.

At some point, you have to decide that you are sick and tired of wallowing in your bad habit.  You have to choose a better life for yourself.  No one can do it for you.  You have to face the day of reckoning and decide to take the high road.  I love how Ryan put it.  He said, “That’s when I vowed to change.”  A vow is defined as a solemn promise.  It has to come from your heart.  Addicts often promise to change when faced with consequences, but then fail to follow through.  This decision has to come from deep within you and needs to be backed up with the motivation from #1 above.

3.  Change your friends and surroundings.

You must get away from those things that influence and encourage you in the wrong direction.  If your bad habit is extreme like an addiction, then you need to get radical.  Stop associating with your so-called friends that participate in your bad habit with you.  Ryan stopped going to parties and distanced himself from his friends.  We are all social creatures and the peer pressure is usually too much to resist.  You need to get away to a new environment that will give you the freedom you need to make positive choices.  A pastor of mine that was a recovered cocaine addict said it this way, “You have to change your playmates, playground and play things.” 

4.  Change is gradual so be patient with yourself.

Notice in Ryan’s story that even after he vowed to stop drinking, he was still smoking marijuana.  It took him awhile to realize the extent of his bad habits.  He had to get free of the effects of the alcohol first before he could see what else he needed to change.  You cannot expect yourself or others to change completely overnight.  Most people experience setbacks when they commit to change, but don’t let this stop you.  It is discouraging, but it doesn’t mean you have failed.  It just means that you are human.  Failure only comes to those that give up.  Those that succeed in breaking bad habits and addictions are the ones that are patient and forgiving with themselves.  They learn from their mistakes and move on.

5.  Seek help and don’t believe you can change alone.

We need encouragement and ideas from others to succeed in making drastic changes in our lives.  The support of family, loved ones, and even online friends will help us to stay on track.  It also makes us accountable to someone.  We should share our desire to change with others so we’ll have positive pressure to stay the course.  Ryan found the help he needed on self-improvement websites.  He stated, “Any problem I had someone else had already dealt with.”  This is so true.  We often feel so alone and that our problems are unique.  This is usually not the case at all.  Fortunately, as Ryan discovered, there are a lot of people willing to help.

6.  Experience some success and find renewed hope.

As we begin to change, positive things start happening in our lives.  This gives us a renewed sense of hope.  For Ryan, he quickly saw improvements in his mental faculties when he broke his addiction to drugs and alcohol.  He regained his memory and started applying himself to worthwhile endeavors.  His success has led him to try new things like playing the piano and guitar.  These hobbies have helped him to find new friends to replace the ones he left behind.  It takes time, but by making some good choices, it really is possible to build a whole new life.

7.  Begin helping others get free from bad habits.

Helping others break free will reinforce the new habits you have formed.  It will also give you a sense of purpose.  You will become the one with the experience needed to guide those that need help.  Ryan is telling his story in an effort to give hope to others.  He wants people to know that they don’t have to continue bad habits that are harmful.  They can choose to be free and then help others to do the same.

Bad habits and addictions can be broken.

As Ryan’s story illustrates, it is absolutely possible to be free of the habits and addictions that are holding you back.  Freedom is available to you.  It is a choice you can make.  It is difficult and scary, but it is worth it.  Don’t keep living a life that is less than the best.  Break free of the madness!  Make your decision today to change!

What advice can you offer to those trying to break free from bad habits or addictions?

Photo by notsogoodphotography

More Resources for Creating Positive Change

Forming New Habits – Approach the Goal Gradually
50 Tips From My Year of Change
4 Powerful Tips for Breaking Bad Habits
9 Tips for Restarting a Habit After Falling Off the Wagon