This is a guest post by Jakob Berry.

The long winter months can sometimes make us feel depressed because so much time is spent indoors.

This is especially true if you are the type of person who loves warmer weather activities such as hiking, a stroll on the beach, or simply sitting out and enjoying a few rays. However, there are several ways in which you can prevent feeling down this winter simply by instilling a more lighthearted atmosphere at home.

The path to achieving this will be different for everyone, as each person has their own definition of how being upbeat should look and feel. The bottom line is that creating a homey home over the winter months will in fact keep you feeling positive and energy infused.

5 Simple Ways to Liven Things Up This Winter

Here are five easy ways that you can add a little life and color to your home over the upcoming winter months:

1.  Breathe Easier

With the windows being shut most of the winter, one’s breathable space often becomes filled with re-circulated air. To improve the air in your home,consider opening the window for 5-10 minutes on a day where the temperatures aren’t sub-zero. This little bit of fresh air can make a world of difference.

Other ways to improve the indoor air quality include: Keeping clutter to a minimum (it will reduce dust), checking and replacing heating and cooling filters to make sure they aren’t re-circulating dirty particles, and vacuuming carpets and rugs regularly.

And one of the most important tips for fresh air is to get outside!  Force yourself to take a walk around the block or a light stroll through your neighborhood. Not only will it refresh you, it will also give you the chance to socialize with neighbors who you would otherwise not see over the winter months.

2.  Add More Life

When winter arrives, the presence of living things around us temporarily decreases.  Increasing life inside your home can boost your feelings of happiness during winter. To accomplish this, try adding small plants around your home. Herbs like lavender, mint and rosemary are excellent choices because they add vibrancy and lovely scents. Place larger plants in locations where you spend the majority of your time like the dining room, home office, or even a small plant on a bedroom window sill or nightstand.

Purchasing a pet is another way to add life into your home. From a goldfish or bird to a small puppy or cat, an animal can help brighten the short winter day.

People are a further way to add life to your surroundings. Whether it is for tea, to watch a game, or to host a book club.  Invite a few good friends over to meet once a week as socializing in your home can be a great lively activity.

3.  Color Your World

Updating the paint on your walls is a quick and easy way to renew the décor in your home and revitalize your mood! Painting just one accent wall in a bold, fresh color is inexpensive and can add warmth and feelings of freshness to your home.

If that’s not enough, frame some pictures of loved ones or great memories that will warm your heart every time you see them.

4.  Let There Be Light!

On an average sunny winter day there are about 8 hours of natural sunlight. Be sure to take advantage of this by opening the blinds and curtains. Using the proper type of light bulb in your home can also help keep your mood positive. Soft light bulbs in place of harsher fluorescent bulbs are a good choice.

5.  Be Entertaining

A little home entertainment can go a long way in the winter. If it’s time to update your stereo system or television go ahead so you can listen to all your favorite songs in pristine sound and watch your favorite movies over and over.

If there’s a hobby you enjoy or need to revive or you want to reread some of your most adored books that have been sitting on the shelf, now’s the time!

Give Yourself an Upbeat Home This Winter

The possibilities are endless but it’s up to you to take advantage of revitalizing your indoor space so you can reconnect to yourself before going back out into the world in the spring.  These tips are a great way to truly appreciate the Great Indoors!

About the Author: Jakob Barry is a Hometalk writer.  Read more articles like this one or get help with your home projects on Hometalk.com.

It can be very difficult to stick to your goals and resolutions when life is so busy.  Our plates are full and yet we want to improve.  How can we do it all? Is it even possible?

This is no doubt a dilemma that many of us face.  In fact, this article was inspired by a reader comment on my article from a few days ago called Ideas for Overcoming Obstacles to Improvement.

In the article, I talked about how we have a struggle going on inside us that pits comfort against personal improvement.  These two desires are often at odds with one another.

In response, Jen (that writes a blog called Inspired!) stated:

“I was doing really well sticking to my resolutions but then work got hectic, life got hectic, I got tired and suddenly it feels impossible to go for that run after work or tidy the house or just keep on top of everything generally.

I can see that there’s a conflict between choosing comfort and choosing to pursue goals which are difficult. But the comfort I’m seeking at the moment isn’t more food or more alcohol but more sleep!”

Set a Goal and Life Gets Hectic

I completely understand Jen’s situation.  It is a very common one.  Life definitely gets hectic sometimes.  In fact, it often seems it happens just after you commit yourself to a goal.

You get inspired, set a goal or resolution, and then WHAM, life comes crashing in on you.  The kids get sick, it gets busy at work, the car breaks down and it seems as if your house is about to fall apart.  It feels like everything starts working against you.

How do you juggle all life throws at you and still accomplish your goals?

It certainly isn’t easy, but it is possible to make steady progress.  How?  Well, I’m going to share a few ways that I’ve been able to make this work for me.

By the way, I have a busy full-time job, two kids, a marriage, a home, a blog and plenty of other commitments.  So, I can relate to the pressure that Jen and many of the rest of you feel.

Sticking to Your Goals When Things Get Hectic

Here’s my suggestions for sticking to your goals even when life gets hectic:

1.  Focus

When you are busy, you’ve got to get intensely focused.  You can’t afford to spread yourself across multiple goals.  You have to pick one or two that are your absolute top priorities and focus whatever energy you have on these.  You’ve got to divide the good from the great here.  Good goals are often the enemy of great goals because they spread you too thin.  Focus on the great ones that will make the most positive difference in your life and finish these before you tackle anything else.

Is your life dictating that you need more focus?

2.  Do the Big Rocks First

In her comment, Jen says, “I got tired and suddenly it feels impossible to go for that run after work or tidy the house or just keep on top of everything generally.”  My response?  You’ve got to do what is most important to you first each day before you do all the other stuff that wears you out.  I don’t have room here to fully explain the Big Rocks technique, but you can read about it and apply it.  It works for me.  I get up an hour early every day to write articles for this site.  If I waited until the end of the day, it would never get done.

Are you accomplishing your big rocks first?

3.  Lower Your Expectations

This might sound odd, but when life starts getting in the way, you may have to lower your expectations regarding your goals.  Mainly, I’m talking about extending the timeline.  It might not be possible to accomplish as much as you originally planned by your target date.  Too often, people give up when life gets hectic.  Instead, I recommend just lowering your expectations to something more realistic.  It might take you longer, but at least you’re still making progress.

Do you need to lower your expectations?

4.  Don’t Become the Victim

Finally, when life gets hectic, it is easy to become the victim.  You’ve got to guard against this.  Don’t let yourself start saying things like, “I would have lost the weight, but my boss assigned me all this extra work and now I don’t have enough time to exercise.”  This implies that it was out of your control.  That you were just a victim of your circumstances.  You make the choice to give up or continue toward your goals.  You are not a victim.  You either make your goals a priority or you don’t.  If you put a goal on the backburner that’s okay, but be sure you accept the responsibility for making the decision.

Are you playing the victim?

A Hectic Life Shouldn’t Kill Your Goals

Life gets hectic for all of us from time-to-time.  This is the chance to prove to yourself that you have what it takes to succeed even when times are tough.  Sometimes you have to get creative in finding new ways to keep moving forward.  Stick to your goals by using the suggestions above to make adjustments, but don’t give up entirely!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

How will you overcome the obstacles to improvement?

Good ideas for prevailing against the obstacles to improvement are priceless.  After all, less than half of us keep our New Year’s Resolutions for more than six months.

If you desire true change, then you need to be prepared to conquer the barriers that derail us.  Most of what will hold you back is in your own head.

You’ve got to change your thinking to produce lasting changes in behavior.

What You Have to Fight Against to Improve

In every one of us there are two ruling and directing principles, whose guidance we follow wherever they may lead; the one being an innate desire of pleasure; the other, an acquired judgment which aspires after excellence. ~ Socrates

As Socrates so aptly points out in the quote above, you have a struggle going on inside you.  You want and seek to follow two things. 

The first of which is pleasure which you can also think of as comfort.  The second is your good judgment which tells you that you need to improve in some particular area to reach a desired goal.

For example, you may want to lose some weight, a very popular New Year’s Resolution.  However, you overeat because it comforts you.  Food has become a pleasurable place that you run to when this cruel world gets you down.

Another example might involve your personal finances.  Perhaps logic tells you that you need to spend less and get on a budget.  However, you never seem to be able to pull this off because you cannot delay your own gratification when shopping.

In whatever area you are trying to improve, you will likely find that comfort and pleasure are the obstacles trying to draw you back to your old ways.  Recognizing this is the first step to victory.

How to Win this Battle of the Will

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
~ Viktor Frankl

When we are faced with our choice, the one between pleasure and excellence, we often feel powerless.  We believe in our minds that we do not have a choice.  We think that the habit of pleasure is simply too strong for us to overcome and we concede.  We backslide submitting to our desire for pleasure.

The key to winning this battle for personal freedom, as Viktor Frankyl points out, is found in that instant between stimulus and response.

Here are some ideas for overcoming the obstacles in this moment of choice:

1.  Avoid the Trigger Altogether

Probably the best way to win this struggle is simply to avoid it.  Stop putting yourself in the places where you know your willpower will be challenged.  If you struggle with overspending, then stop going to the mall.  If you overeat, then throw out all the junk food so, the trigger for your “bad” behavior is no longer there to tempt you.  Get rid of the stimulus and you avoid the poor response.

2.  Get Clear on Why

It is much easier to motivate yourself toward a positive goal than it is to continually maintain the willpower to avoid a negative behavior.  So, you need to clearly define why you want to stop overeating or overspending.  What is it that you want to accomplish by changing your behavior?  How will you benefit from the new outcome(s)? 

Get very, very clear on why you want to improve and it will make the change easier.  Once you are clear, then write the reasons down on a slip of paper and keep it in your pocket.  When you feel tempted to backslide, pull out the paper and review your reasoning.  This will help you stay on track.

3.  Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Finally, when you do suffer a momentary setback, don’t get too upset.  We tend be too hard ourselves.  Change takes time.  You’ve got to be patient with yourself.  This is not to say that you don’t want to hold yourself accountable, but if you beat yourself up too much, you’ll simply give up.  Improvement requires a positive mental state.  Don’t be the source of your own negativity and discouragement.  Remember the old proverb that says, “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

These Ideas Will Help You Overcome Your Obstacles

I’ve written before about how comfort is not an option when it comes to personal improvement.  You simply cannot let the lure of pleasure and comfort rule your life.  You’ve got to stand up and use whatever ideas you can find to help you overcome these obstacles to change and growth.  Are you willing?  Do you want it bad enough to put forth the kind of effort required?  If so, then use what you’ve learned here to help yourself become victorious!

Photo by reuben4eva

This is a guest post by Michelle Barber.

A friend of mine was having her phone line worked on over the weekend. So, at 9:00 pm on a Friday night, when I saw an ad for an upcoming concert, I called her office number fully expecting to leave a voicemail.

Instead, she picked up the phone. I asked her what in the world she was doing at work that late on a Friday.

She said, “Well…you know…I don’t have kids or a partner to go home to, so I’m staying late to get some work done.”

I often find that people do things due to a lack of a positive vision for their lives. It’s not always that we can’t say no to the nagging friend or give the boss a realistic timeframe. It’s that, like my friend, there isn’t something else to “go home to.” What she didn’t understand was that, regardless of a partner or kids, she had herself to go home to.

A Method to Help Set Healthy Boundaries

The following questions were developed after that phone call and have since been presented to colleagues in small professional development settings on a few occasions. I’m open to walking other groups through this exercise, along with providing a totally biased nudge towards carving out a more positive vision for our lives! You can also write/type/think your way through the questions below.

I recommend sticking with one area of your life for all of the questions; you can always start again with another area if this process works well for you.

1.  Where Are Your Boundaries Unclear?

What are some areas in which you’re thinking about saying “no” more often? Be specific.

For example, if it’s work, is it negative colleagues or a demanding boss, more responsibilities or a work day that keeps exceeding eight hours?

2.  What Keeps You From Saying No?

What are the barriers to saying “no” more often in this area? Be specific here too.

For example, if it’s with friends, do you fear that declining an invitation will decrease the likelihood of future invitations?

3.  How Would Your Life Improve If You Set Proper Boundaries?

Now, take a leap and develop a positive vision for this area of your life. What do you want to say “Yes!” to? Be luxurious and specific.

For example, if it’s your peace of mind you want to reclaim, does it involve time for a practice like meditating or painting? Or space and money for a hobby?

How To Explore Boundary Setting Even Further

With an inquisitive friend, describe your vision. Ask your friend to ask you more questions about what this looks like for you. Let his/her questions help you clarify your vision.

List all of the reasons you deserve this vision.

For example, in the workshops I’ve run, I’ve heard everything from, “Because I’ve earned it” to “Because God wants me to be happy,” from “Because it’s my turn” to “Because I want to live longer.”

What tiny action step can you take this week to get closer to that vision? And what’s the next step after that?

Now, take out a sheet of paper. Write down your vision, either in full sentences or just words, as poetry or pictures; whatever works for you.

Put this piece of paper somewhere you’ll see it often. Your desk is a good spot if your vision is about work. Your refrigerator or treadmill is a good spot if your vision is about your health. Regardless of the area of your vision, the bathroom is a great place for reminders.

Reclaim Control and You’ll Enjoy a Better Life

My friend who was working late on a Friday night wasn’t doing a bad thing. Sometimes, to achieve our visions, we’ll need to put in long hours and burn the midnight oil. But she wasn’t being mindful of her vision. We shouldn’t pass through this life just saying “yes” to every request and mandate that comes along, nor should we say “no” to everything.

We can find, define and explore creative visions for our lives and then carve out bigger and bigger spaces for those visions.

Michelle Barber lives in Vermont and works in marketing in higher education.  She blogs and consults about creative systems thinking for higher ed., non-profits and the arts at www.michellebarber.org, but more and more she finds herself writing about creativity, in general, as well as art, hiking, design and good books.

Photo by The Wandering Angel

Everyone has a story.  Our heads are full of narratives about what we think of ourselves.  These stories have a profound impact on our daily lives.

The stories in our heads govern how we act.  Your story might be driving you to success or it might be holding you back from a great life.

Our thoughts are very powerful.  What we believe about ourselves has a tremendous influence over how we act.  Our actions are what produce the results we get.  Are you getting the results you want?  If not, then maybe you need to reexamine your personal stories.

How I Perceive Some of My Personal Story

Our stories are like home movies in our heads.  They only capture brief episodes of the whole saga.  For whatever reason, we seem to cling to some and dispose of others.  The ones we cling to often are a result of the high points or low points from our younger years.  At least, this seems to be the case for me.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately probably because I’m fascinated with what makes people act the way they do.  It seems like personal stories have a big role.

For example, here are a few of the stories from my life that seem to stay with me:

1.  My parent’s divorce had an emotionally traumatic effect on me

I’m not sure why I cling so strongly to the story about my parent’s divorce.  It was a long time ago and I should have worked through all the issues by now.  However, this story is sort of like a beloved childhood pet.  I just can’t let go of it.  It is pretty well ingrained in my psyche.  I’m not even sure what part it plays anymore, but I know it is a significant part of my story.  What would happen if I let this go?

2.  I’m not that good at sports

When I was young, I never really had any success in sports.  I played baseball and football up until I was a sophomore in high school, but I never really did that well.  I also always felt a bit intimidated by the coaches.  As a result, I have believed that I wasn’t that good at sports.  However, my wife tells me that I’m good at everything physical.  She says I can play anything and play it well.  Which story is right?  I still tend to believe the old one.  Sports are a big way that boys are judged in our society.  What effect has this had on my confidence over the years?

3.  I’m smart and good with computers

I always did pretty well in school.  My parents and extended family encouraged me a lot in this area.  They reinforced the idea that I was smart.  I’m not saying that I am, but this is one of the stories I seemed to believe.  Also, In high school, I had a positive experience when I took a computer class.  I did pretty well at it and received some praise from a male teacher.  Now, I’m the Director of I.T. for my company.  How did my story affect me here?  Did my early positive experience and reinforcement lead me to where I am today?

4.  I’m an introvert

I’m a bit of an introvert or so the story goes.  I’m not sure where this comes from.  I remember being sort of shy for as long as I can remember.  I wonder how holding this belief has affected my actions over the years.  Is it true?  Could I be different?

I carry these self-perceptions with me all the time, but are they accurate?  I mean there are some historical facts that go with these stories, but are the self-perceptions themselves really true or do I just believe them to be so.

What Would Be Possible If We Could Debunk the Myths?

It only stands to reason that some of our stories are inaccurate even though we cling to them tightly.  What if we could debunk these myths while still keeping hold of the positive stories that help us succeed?

I believe this is an important personal development strategy to examine.

Couldn’t this lead to dramatic change?  I mean if I could simply surgically remove a story that supports negative action (or inaction) and replace it with a much more favorable view of myself, then wouldn’t that drive almost immediate improvement?

What if some of the key stories we believe about ourselves that hold us back just aren’t true?

What if I’m not really an introvert or what if I completely and unquestionably believed that I am an extrovert?  How would it change my actions? 

It would certainly give me a lot more confidence in social situations.  I would probably act more boldly and this would likely result in more connections.  Who knows what making a bunch of new contacts might lead to?

Just thinking about becoming an extrovert is scary.  Replacing our old stories isn’t easy, but it might be very valuable.

I’ve been watching The Biggest Loser this season.  It seems that several of the people on the show just don’t believe that they can be healthier.  They have totally bought into their story that they are destined to be obese for the rest of their lives.

The trainers, Bob and Jillian, spend a fair amount of time helping the “Losers” debunk the myths that they believe about themselves.  It is powerful and it leads to some very dramatic results.

Is the same thing possible in our lives for issues other than obesity?  I think it is.  We just have to do some serious myth debunking.

What stories in your life are myths?  Isn’t it time that you let them go?

It all comes down to how bad we want to change.  Those old stories are often like security blankets.  We cling to them as if our lives depended on them.  When in reality, the opposite is actually true.  Our best life is on the other side of that old myth. 

Let it go.

What do you think about all this?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

Photo by Tammy Manet

All of us have dreams, all of us have a list of things we want to do. Some of them are easy, some of them require something else to be done before. For example if you want to travel the world for one full year, you first need to have enough money for it or you need to have a location independent job.

Eventually, your ability to accomplish the list of your dreams is directly related to your ability to change and adapt to new situations. Being flexible and open to new opportunities is the basis of self development, and the starting point to achieve your dreams.

How to Form Powerful New Habits

Everything we do is the result of our habits, and habits are exactly what determine our flexibility and openness, so it makes sense to spend some time developing good habits.

The time you wake up in the morning, the specific hand you’ll use to brush your teeth in the morning, and how you approach a conversation with a new person, are all results of habits. You can change all of them if you want, although it’s not always necessary. But how can you change an habit if you really want to?

One of the most effective ways to change a habit, is through a 30 days habit challenge. In this challenge, you are committing yourself to reinforce and work in your habit each day. For example if you want to experience how it would feel to be a vegetarian, you can do a 30 day habit change where you’ll eat no meat for 30 days. After the 30 days have passed, you are free to return to your previous habit if you desire.

The reason I’m suggesting 30 days is because this way you are not committing yourself for the rest of your life. Indeed you can revert to your original habit on the 31st day if you want. Still, 30 days is usually enough time to go through the initial difficult phase to create the new habit.

The 5 Habits That Will Change Your Life

Below are five simple but effective habits you can implement. Each of those habits has the potential to dramatically change your life.

1.  Wake up early.

Waking up early is a tremendous time management tip. When you wake up early in the morning, you have more time to do the stuff that you are always putting off in the evening. In the morning you are fresh and you can work without distractions, usually accomplishing 2-3 times more work than in the evening. Of course if you want to wake up early, you have to go to bed earlier in the evening. 7 to 8 hours per night is usually enough. How early you wake up is up to you. My advice is to start slowly and turn back your alarm clock 15 minutes every week until you reach your goal.

2.  Eat healthy, and exercise.

Like it or not, for your brain to function properly, you have to regularly exercise and eat healthy. By eating healthy you’ll gain a lot of clearness and energy, and by exercising every day you’ll improve your ability to perform and concentrate on difficult tasks. 30 minutes of exercise every day is the standard amount of time recommended for most people.

3.  Read a book a week.

Your education is essential if you want to move further in your career. Reading a book a week in your field will make you an expert within one year (assuming you practice what you learn). In order to read one book a week, I recommend starting with 45 minutes a day. With time, you’ll learn to read faster and in less time.

4.  Work one hour every day.

I’m not referring to your day job, I’m talking about working on your goals. For example if you want to build a website, spend one hour each day working exclusively on it, preferably in the morning. You should spend this time doing only high value activities. One hour per day means that within one year you’ll have worked the equivalent of more than two months of 40 hour weeks.

5.  Embrace simplicity.

There’s no need to live in a rush. If you identify those few things and tasks that provide the highest results and enjoyment in your life, you can work more on them and discard all the remaining stuff. The Pareto rule states that 20% of your efforts produce 80% of your results. This is true in all areas of life, so always apply the Pareto rule when possible.

The Key Is to Begin a New Habit Today

You don’t have to implement all of these habits at once. One per month is enough, otherwise you would feel too overwhelmed. If one day you are unable to work on your habit, don’t give up. Start again the following day with more energy and motivation. After all, every successful person fails multiple times before succeeding. The secret is to keep going.

Oscar Del Ben writes about personal development and productivity. You can follow his blog at FreestyleMind.com and subscribe to the RSS Feed.

Photo by Tambako the Jaguar

It is odd to me how we will often stick with something that we don’t like and that sometimes even causes us pain and suffering!

For whatever reason, we will choose to ignore our power to make a change. 

Some people do this with jobs.  I stick with uncomfortable shoes.

The story of how I came to own my uncomfortable shoes

I bought them about a year ago.  They looked friendly enough. 

My uncomfortable shoes are a pair of black wingtips that I wear to work.  I won’t mention the brand name to protect the innocent, but I will say they weren’t cheap.

I’ve made my share of mistakes buying shoes over the years so you’d think I’d learn.

I had very good intentions when I bought these, but I ignored one critical factor.  Comfort!

How could I be so stupid, stupid, stupid!  There is nothing worse than uncomfortable shoes.

My intention was to buy a pair that the heels could be easily replaced on.  I tend to wear down the back, outer edge of the heel.  Once this happens, then the shoes are, well… uncomfortable.

It was a grand plan that was going to save me a lot of money over the next several years.  I wouldn’t have to buy whole brand new pairs of shoes.  I would simply take them to the shoe repair shop for new heels.  Voilà!

I never checked to see how much new heels would cost, but that’s really beside the point anyway.  I haven’t worn the shoes long enough so that they need new heels.

I’ve had the evil ones about a year.  I decided this past weekend that I had suffered enough.

I finally decided life is too short for my uncomfortable shoes

The thing is I finally realized that my uncomfortable shoes were affecting my attitude.

Isn’t it crazy how something so simple can have such a significant impact on the way we view life?

By midday, my shoes made my feet and legs ache at work.  I only wore these shoes to work because they were dress shoes made to be worn with slacks.

Now, I’m one of those weird people that really likes his job, but recently I had noticed what I’ll call a reluctance to get up in the mornings and get to work.

Even though I couldn’t identify any particular reason, I just kind of dreaded going.

This reluctance hung out in the back of my mind and nagged me. 

Finally, I began examining the situation.  I started thinking, “What is it that is bothering me at work?”  I have a great job in the profession of my choosing.  I work with great people.  The hours are good.  What is it?

I gradually realized that it was the shoes!  I bet you didn’t see that coming.  I didn’t.  It took me quite awhile to actually figure it out.

Once I knew the issue, I immediately decided to do something about it.  I went out this past weekend and bought two new pair of comfortable shoes to wear to work.

Happy to be free of the shoes that were hurting more than my feet

I had a friend when I was in the Air Force that told me, “When I get a pebble in my shoe, I like to leave it in there for awhile.”

“Why?”, I asked sort of incredulously.

“Because then it is such a relief and feels so good when I take it out.”

I’m not sure if this principle is what is acting in my situation now or not, but I love my new shoes!

As a result, my attitude toward going to work has completely changed, instantly!

It is amazing how something so simple can have a profound impact on my attitude and also go relatively unnoticed for so long.

Lessons I learned from my uncomfortable shoes

I might be making more of this than it deserves, but who knows?

Here are a few lessons that I have learned or that have at least been reinforced for me by this experience:

1.  Sometimes little things can make a big difference

The tiniest of pebbles in your shoe can cause significant pain.  Is it possible that in other life situations we should examine the small things more closely before making big decisions?  Could making small corrections at the point of pain save us from quitting our jobs, getting a divorce or selling our homes when we shouldn’t?  I think it is certainly worth taking a hard look at.

2.  Having cash on hand can solve a lot of problems in a crisis

I’m usually a fairly thrifty guy.  My wife might argue with that, but I usually have some cash tucked back somewhere.  In this case, I had fun money that had been piling up for several months.  I just hadn’t found anything I wanted to buy.  Since we don’t use credit cards anymore, having that cash on hand gave me the freedom to solve my problem immediately.

3.  Fix issues before they fester into bigger dilemmas

I kind of knew something was wrong for awhile, but I didn’t really take the time to think it over.  I’m often left bewildered by people that hate their lives, but won’t do anything about it.  I think these people often let small problems swell up in their minds until they become overwhelmed and frozen.  Taking action even if you aren’t 100% sure it is going to fix the problem is the better route to follow.  Didn’t work?  Rinse and repeat as often as necessary!

4.  We usually have the power to make the changes necessary

Being happier really is a choice!  We have the power to improve our lives if we will simply do something.  Somehow life often seems to rob us of our knowledge that we have the power.  We become lulled into thinking we have to put up with painful and demoralizing situations, but we do not!  Don’t go berserk, but look for ways to make incremental improvements that will add up to a big difference.

Again, life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes!

Is something bothering you?  Are you unhappy?  I encourage you to examine the situation closely.  Talk it over with a friend or confidant.  Write out your feelings on paper.  Heck, I often talk these things out by myself in the car.  Do whatever works!

Usually getting your feelings, thoughts and concerns out in the open will unpack and simplify what seems like an unsolvable issue and save things from getting worse.

It might be that a few simple adjustments can instantly make your life better and save you from the pain you feel right now.

Remember, life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes!

What is bothering you and what are you going to do about it?

Photo by Akuppa

The key to successful self-improvement is to focus on incremental changes one step at a time.

The trap we fall into when planning life changes

You have probably heard it asked, “Where do you want to be a year from now?” I think that a year is often too long of a horizon to consider. Having a long-term vision can be useful, but it can also be equally daunting.

There are a few problems with focusing on a whole year or more when planning to improve your life. Here are some things that I struggle with:

• Evolving priorities – Over the course of a year, many things can happen to change one’s priorities. When priorities change, goals often change. I have a hard time discounting this when trying to look out over an entire year.
• External factors – Happenings outside of my control may influence my ability to accomplish what I want to do. For instance, a person might not have seen the recession coming a year in advance. External influences can’t always be factored in or predicted.
• Making goals realistic – I have a hard time determining what is realistic a year from now. I wonder if I’m setting my goals for improvement too large or too small. This often leaves me in a quandary instead of with clarity and focus.
• Hard to measure progress – A goal that won’t be reached for a year is hard to measure because the progress is often small. This usually leaves me disillusioned and uninspired. Basically, I lose interest.

A better plan for improving your life that works

I think we need to break down our planning horizon to a much shorter timeframe. I would suggest approaching your goals as follows:

1. Set monthly or quarterly objectives – Break down where you want to be a year from now into smaller, more manageable chunks. For instance, if you want to lose 20 pounds this year, then make one of your objectives to lose 5 pounds by the end of March. Reaching these milestones will give you a sense of accomplishment and help you to stay on track.
2. Define your strategy – Write down the specific strategy that you plan to use to accomplish your goal. It is so easy to stray off course. Writing out your strategy and referring to it often will keep you headed down the right path.
3. Refine your target quarterly – Based on your progress, evolving priorities and external factors, refine your annual goal at the end of each quarter. This helps keep your goals realistic. If you are ahead of your plan, then you can adjust your goal to push yourself even further!
4. Reward yourself – As you succeed at accomplishing your monthly or quarterly objectives, reward yourself. Celebrating your victories is an important step in maintaining your motivation. Be careful to avoid rewards that are counterproductive to the overall goal!

Incremental changes make it easier to improve your life!

I use this basic approach to tackle just about all the projects in my life. A solid plan will keep you on track and ensure that you meet your annual goals! It is so much easier when you break it down into manageable chunks instead of trying to stay focused and motivated for the whole year.

Was this helpful to you? If so, please leave me a comment and let me know!

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I want to be deliberate and thoughtful about the goals and resolutions that I commit to for the coming year.  I already have some resolutions in mind, but before I fully decide, I am reviewing what others are resolving to do.

What others are advising about New Year’s resolutions

Of course, given the time of year, there are a lot of people out there writing their opinions about how we can improve our lives.  Here are the best articles that I found and liked:

1.  Don’t just set and forget resolutions, set goals for real change

Ron at The Wisdom Journal wrote DON’T Set Any Resolutions.  He stresses that resolutions frequently go by the wayside too soon and therefore fail to produce results in our lives.  He reasons that resolutions are too absolute and unrealistic.  They are all or nothing propositions that often focus on negative behaviors.  This all contributes to their failure to produce any real change or improvement.

Ron recommends that we set goals instead of resolutions.  He even suggests some excellent goals to consider in four key areas of our lives.  You should check out his suggestions.  I found some things that are helping me.

2.  Focus your resolutions on the areas that matter most to you

Frugal Dad has spelled out three very specific goals or resolutions for the coming year in his short series of articles:

• New Years Resolution One: Downsizing Our Home
• New Years Resolution Two: Wake Up At 4:30AM
• New Years Resolution Three: Double Blogging Goals

I really like the way that Frugal Dad has set very specific, measurable goals for himself.  If you read these, you will also see that he has thought through his resolutions very carefully.  These aren’t knee-jerk type resolutions.  They are meaningful changes that are realistic and that will have a positive impact on Frugal Dad and his family.

In addition, I like how there are only three goals that Frugal is focusing himself on in the coming year.  He has focused his efforts in the areas that most important to him and that he think will make the biggest difference.  Very interesting!

3.  Be constantly mindful of your resolutions throughout the year

Finally, I like what Chris Brogan wrote in Your 3 Goals for 2009.  He takes a slightly different approach to resolutions.  He picks three keywords that encapsulate what he wants to accomplish.  By having only three words to focus on, it is easier to run everything you do through them as sort of a filter to be sure you are maintaining the big picture of what you want to accomplish over the course of the entire year.

Chris’ approach to resolutions seems to offer a lot of flexibility while adding significantly to the likelihood of success.  After all, life changes.  The specific goal that you set for yourself today could become obsolete tomorrow. 

For example, say you want to increase the number of subscribers to your blog to X by the end of the year.  Well, you might reach that goal in March.  What then?  Well, if one of your words was “build”, then you would simply remain focused on continuing to build your blog.  The word reflects your overall intention.

I don’t know if I’ve adequately described Chris’ approach.  Read his article!  It is very insightful and then you’ll get a better idea of exactly what he does.  I think I will try it!

New Year’s resolutions can be useful if you spend time on them

One thing that all three of the bloggers above agree on is that they like the word “goals” better than resolutions.  I have to agree.  I’ve never been much for having resolutions.  I guess there’s just too much baggage with them.  Of course, I still think that the beginning of the year is a good time to reflect on where we are in our lives and to set some goals for where we want to be a year from now.

“He who fails to plan, plans to fail” ~ Proverb

I’ll be sharing more about my goals or resolutions very soon.  I hope this has helped you to consider ways to improve your life. 

Please let me know your resolutions for the coming year!

Here are more New Year’s resolution articles that you might enjoy:

• 20 Questions for Planning New Year’s Goals
• New Year’s resolutions — PF style
• 10 Ways To Ensure Your New Years Resolutions Outlive January
• 7 Common Reasons People Fail To Achieve New Year Resolutions
• How to Achieve Any Goal; Or, The Art of Anticipating Obstacles

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There are things you can do today to improve your life.  Self-improvement doesn’t have to be difficult or drawn out.  You can choose one thing off the list below, take action, and it will improve your life.  Why wait?  Why not start making a positive difference?  It really is as simple as that.  Every small step we take in the right direction produces an incremental improvement in our life.  Continually and consistently making good choices in our actions will enable us to live the best life possible.

Here are a number of ideas to help you get started living life to the fullest!  Below each idea I have provided a list of resources to help you get going.

1.  Take a marriage class.

Our marriages have a huge influence in our lives.  You are likely to experience a lot more fulfillment if you improve your relationship with your spouse.  We all have room for improvement in learning to get along with one another.  Your relationship doesn’t have to be in trouble for you to take a marriage class together.  Spending time together in a structured way that encourages you to focus on your relationship will help you to grow closer.  It will strengthen any marriage.

• Keeping the Fire Alive in Your Marriage
• Eight Keys to a Happier Marriage
• 7 Things to Discuss Before the Marriage License

2.  Read a self-improvement book.

Reading a book is a concrete action step that will give you further ideas on ways to improve.  Books inspire by broadening our views and understanding of ourselves, others, and the world at large.  When was the last time that you read something that challenged your thinking and motivated you to seek a better life?  A couple of my favorites are As A Man Thinketh by James Allen and The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Tim Ferriss.  Two very different books, but both challenge me in unique ways.

• Top 10 Recommended Books to Improve Your Life
• Self-improvement Books You HAVE to Read
• 30 Books Everyone Should Read Before Their 30th Birthday

3.  Start a budget to win with money.

Creating a written budget is the best way to get control of your finances and to start winning with money.  Would you run a business without a budget?  Budgets give you a tool to direct your money in how you want it to work for you.  It doesn’t have to be difficult or time-consuming, but it does need to be complete and thought out.  By deciding in advance how you want to spend your money each month, you will turn your finances around and start winning with money.

• Things I Learned Living on a Budget – Part 2
• How to Implement an Envelope Budgeting System
• 12 Steps to Setting a Financial Goal

4.  Mend a relationship.

Broken relationships create stress and drain us of our energy.  Don’t let it go another minute without taking a positive step toward reconciliation.  It is much easier to apologize and forgive than it is to continue carrying around the burden of resentment and anger.  Your negative feelings aren’t hurting the other person, but they are hurting you.  Make a plan now to get this resolved and you will feel better instantly.  It will free you up to concentrate on positive things in your life.

• 11 Ways To Make Your Apologies More Meaningful and Effective
• Building Healthy Relationships
• 7 Reasons My Life is More Fulfilling

5.  Begin an exercise program.

Exercise helps to improve blood flow which delivers more oxygen to the brain.  When our brain is more nourished it thinks more clearly and grows.  Exercise also relieves stress and adds to our endurance.  This gives us the ability to work and play harder.  The proven health benefits of exercise are powerful and indisputable.  You don’t have to become a body builder to recognize the benefits of exercise.  You just need a program that is consistent and effective.

• 13 Scientifically Proven Health Benefits Of Exercise
• How to Make Exercise a Daily Habit
• How to make exercise more fun than sex

6.  Stimulate your mind.

Mental atrophy seems like an epidemic.  We have so much more creativity and intelligence than we realize.  You can literally do anything that you set your mind on and make a firm decision to achieve!  Take a step today to get your mind going and you’ll reap the benefits in short order.

• 40 Positive Effects of a TV Free Week
• Twelve Reasons to Turn off the Television
• 20 Ways To Train Your Brain For Peak Performance
• 120 Ways to Boost Your Brain Power

7.  Start a business.

There are many benefits to owning a business.  As an entrepreneur, you control your own destiny.  If you are willing to work hard and smart, then you can make a lot of money.  You reap the fruits of your labor directly.  You also control your schedule.  These are generally the reasons that many people start their own business.  Of course, it is also fun and challenging!  I can’t think of a better way to start improving your life.

• 50+ Resources to Legitimately Raise Your Income
• My New Retirement Lifestlye Cash Flow
• Basic Business Advice from an Accidental Entrepreneur

8.  Give back out of your abundance.

It is funny how we usually think that to improve our lives we have to attain something we don’t have, but we can often find greater fulfillment and happiness from giving rather than from receiving.  It is important to find a way to give back to help others that are in need or aspiring to improve their lives.  In doing so, you might just find what’s missing in your life.

• Become a Virtual Volunteer and Make a Real Difference
• Microloans Make A Difference For Those Living In Poverty
• How to Find and Evaluate a Charity

9.  Spend a day with the kids.

This truly will improve your life and if you do it often, it will also improve theirs.  Children help us to realign our priorities.  They also will give us a new lens to view the world through.  Kids are full of energy, enthusiasm, and a desire to have fun.  Some of this is bound to wear off on you if you spend a little time around them!

• 70 Great Things About Having Children
• All I Really Need to Know I Learned from a Picture Book
• Instruction-Free Art Time – Watch Your Child Create

10.  Go on a vacation!

I saved the best for last!  Going on a vacation is a fantastic way to clear your mind, broaden your horizons, and relax.  It will have an immediate positive effect on your life.  Of course, you want to plan your vacation properly so it is relaxing instead of being just another issue you have to deal with.  For me, going on an adventure is always rejuvenating!

• 11 Adventures Anyone Can Use To Spice Up Their Life
• Maximize Your Staycation With Preschoolers
• My Best Excuses for Remaining in a Rut

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