Are you living intentionally?

It takes deliberate and premeditated action to be happy and successful.  These things won’t just fall into your lap one day.

You must first imagine a better future and then willfully exercise a certain measure of forethought and planning to make it so.

If I asked you right now, “What are your specific goals?”  Could you answer me without stammering around?

If not, then you aren’t being intentional enough to realize your dreams and desires.  You need to get what you want front and center in your life.

Daydreaming Is a Smart Start

The smart way to live is to carefully and thoughtfully envision the life you desire and then intentionally live in a way to achieve your dream.

“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Remember how the teacher back in elementary school used to tell you to stop daydreaming and get busy?  Well, she was dead wrong.

You see, successful people are dreamers.  They first imagine their desired future and then they go create it.

You cannot improve your situation if you don’t first conceive in your mind where you want to go.  Ideas are the seeds of a new tomorrow for you.

So, if you want to:

• Start your own business
• Improve your relationships
• Reinvent yourself
• Stop bad habits
• Get a promotion at work
• Straighten out your finances
• Be happier and more at peace with yourself

You must first dream in your little head what that new future you want will look like.  You must then get very intentional about making it your reality.

Intentionally Create Your Future

The future for you may be next week, next month, next year or five years down the road.  It depends on where you are today and the size of your dream.

But, no matter what the timeline, you aren’t going to get anywhere until you decide to get intentional about creating your future.

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.”  ~ Vince Lombardi

Did you get that?  Vince Lombardi, who celebrated a lot of victories in his life including winning the first two NFL Super Bowls, said that you have the strength and knowledge you need to live out your dreams.

It isn’t a question of that at all.  The question is, “Do you have the will to succeed?”

How much do you really want your desired future?

Are you willing to do what it takes or are you going to continue to be a slave to comfort?

Will you deliberately take action or will you continue to hide behind excuses?

It is going to take some sacrifice, work and possibly even a little money for you to get what you want.  Are you ready to get that intentional?

If you are, then you need to convert your ideas into a purposeful plan.

A Specific Plan Helps You Get Intentional

Remember, once you dream up what you want, you must then organize and mature it into a plan that you can act upon.

Here’s the path needed to achieve your dreams.

• Step 1 – Envision in your mind your ideal future.
• Step 2 – Decide to get intentional about your imagined future.
• Step 3 – Organize a plan to bring your vision into reality.
• Step 4 – Act on your plan.
• Step 5 – Evaluate results and make adjustments.

The hardest step in this process is no doubt Step 3.  How do you create a realistic plan that will actually work?

I mean if you have a solid plan that will work, you can follow it, right?  Lots of research has proven that having a good plan significantly increases your chance of success.

For example:

• One study confirms that a written business plan doubles your chances of entrepreneurial success.
• Other research verifies that 3% of Harvard MBA graduates — those with written goals and a plan to accomplish them — make 10 times as much as the other 97% combined.
• In a 2004 study, employees who adopted a well formulated savings plan increased their 401(k) contributions by over 200% in a short period.

Having a detailed plan of action definitely works and following a plan is fairly easy, so the trouble arises in creating a plan that will work, right?

Use This Shortcut to Achieve Your Goals

There is a shortcut I’ve discovered for converting your dreams into reality.

Sometimes, shortcuts get a bad rap.

However, I’m 100% convinced that this shortcut deserves respect.  Why?  Because I’ve used it a ton of times myself and it has worked without exception.

Here’s the shortcut I use.  I borrow plans from other people.

Why recreate the wheel?  For almost every goal that you want to accomplish, someone else has already developed a solid plan for achieving it.  All you have to do is borrow their plan and follow in their footsteps.  This drastically reduces the amount of time that it will require for you to succeed.

Usually for less than $20 and almost always for less than $100, you can find a top-notch plan that educates you and sets you on the path to success.  Your time alone is worth more than what you will spend on the plan.

Also, since others have already used the plan and succeeded, you have more assurance that the plan is valid.  This is a nice side benefit.

Get a Plan and Become Intentional Now

So, where do you find these valuable, but inexpensive plans?

Well, this is where I can help.  I’ve already located many of them for you.

For instance:

If you need help envisioning your ideal future, try one of these:

• Discover Your Passion, a strategic approach for creating the life of your dreams
• How to Live Your Best Life, create and achieve your bucket list

If you need help straightening out your finances, try this:

• The Super-Charged Guide to Financial Freedom, optimize your personal finances

If you need help improving your marriage, pick one of these:

• Stripped Down, strip away all the barriers to that deep closeness you so desire
• A Simple Marriage, ignite a spark and overcome the humdrums of every day marriage

These plans will help you in three key areas: goal setting, personal finances and your marriage.  What have I missed?  Is there a different area where you need help?  If so, please let me know.  If you are reading this in an email, then simply hit reply and tell me what kind of plan you need.  If you are reading this on my site, then leave a comment below.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Researchers have determined that up to 50% of our happiness level is genetic.  That is, we have a happiness set point or baseline that originated from one or both of our biological parents.  Half of your happiness level is preset!

Does this mean that if you had unhappy parents that you are doomed to a sad life?  Not in the least!  It just means that you might have to be more intentional about making yourself happier.  It is similar to the way that some people have to work a little harder to keep the weight off while others eat all they want and still remain skinny.

Why is our set point important and how do we know it exists?

If you’ve been following along the last few days, then the chart below will look familiar.  It depicts what scientists and researchers have determined to be the factors that affect our happiness.  Notice that our set point is the largest section of the pie!

Anything factor that determines 50% of our overall happiness level needs to be understood if we want to live a happier life.

I’ve already written about how we are usually off base in knowing what truly makes us lastingly happy and a little about intentional happiness activities that help make us happier.  Today, we’ll explore how the happiness set point.

As I stated above, we inherit our baseline level of happiness from our biological parents.  How do researchers know this?  Well, most of the evidence comes from studies conducted with identical and fraternal twins.  I’ll let you check out the details in The How of Happiness- A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want which is the inspiration for these articles.  Suffice it to say, that scientists have gone to great lengths to verify the existence of the set point.

How does our set point affect our overall happiness?

The most important things to know about the set point is that it appears that we cannot change it and we tend to naturally gravitate back to it.  So, whether you experience circumstances that either boost or deflate your happiness, you will over time return to your average happiness level if everything else remains constant.

But just because your happiness set point cannot be changed doesn’t mean that your happiness level cannot be changed.
~ The How of Happiness

This is a critical point to understand.  The set point is just our natural happiness equilibrium point.  It is our genetic tendency, but it can be influenced.  It only accounts for 50% of our happiness level.  Yes, it is half, but we can dramatically affect our happiness through intentional activities as I discussed yesterday.

You can trump nature on this matter if you so choose.  It just takes consciously applied effort to boost and maintain your happiness above your set point.

What does this mean for me and my happiness?

First, understanding the set point should help you to understand your own behavior a little better.  You can determine your set point by periodically checking your happiness level using the Subjective Happiness Scale.  Your set point is sort of an average of multiple tests.  The average is around five.

I believe I tend to have a slightly below average happiness set point.  This helps me to understand why my moods seem to dip from time-to-time.  Knowing this relieves me of some of the guilt about it.  It also helps me to know that I need to recognize when these dips occur and intentionally do something about it. 

Knowing your set point will tell you how much effort you need to exert to feel happier.  If you already have a high set point, then you might not feel it is necessary to do anything to become happier.  However, if you have a lower set point, then you can start concentrating on the 40% of the pie where intentional happiness activities can make a huge difference!

Does the idea of a happiness set point make sense to you?  Where do you think your set point lies?

Photo by rolands.lakis

We all want to be happy.  We want to feel good about ourselves and our lives.  However, even though we have the power to attain happiness, we usually go about it in the wrong way.  We pursue the wrong things.

In general, most of us have been conditioned to believe that positive events such as job promotions, financial windfalls, romantic getaways or a new car will increase our happiness.  However, science has shown that we are off base and many of our experiences confirm this.

I explained yesterday that a lot of us have a 40% hole in our lives because we pursue happiness in all the wrong places.  Today, I’m going discuss some of the intentional activities that will truly make us lastingly happy.

How would you rate your happiness?

You would think that happiness is hard to gauge.  After all, there is no happiness meter that can tell us just how happy or unhappy we are.  Fortunately, Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist and author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want has developed a Subjective Happiness Scale.

This measure of happiness is surprisingly simple.  However, Lyubomirsky, from much testing and research, has concluded that this four-item test is quite valuable.  You can score your happiness level online with the Subjective Happiness Scale.

The scale can measure how your efforts at becoming happier are working.  I really like the scientific way that Lyubomirsky approaches the subject of happiness.  It is one thing to claim certain activities will make us happy.  It is another to actually measure it.

Want to find the intentional happiness activities that fit you?

Once you know your current happiness score, then you can determine which intentional activities will fit with your interests, your values and your needs to make you happier.  Lyubomirsky emphasizes that finding the right happiness activities for you is essential because one of the keys to making yourself lastingly happy is to incorporate the intentional activities into your daily life.

You are much more likely to stick with things that feel natural to you and that fit with your lifestyle.  What’s nice is that Lyubomirsky has adapted a test from Ken Sheldon called the Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic to help us determine exactly which intentional happiness activities will work best for us.

In the book, Lyubomirsky elaborates on twelve intentional activities that studies have scientifically and conclusively shown elevate happiness.  The Fit Diagnostic will help you zero in on the four that are likely to be your best choices.

I used the diagnostic and here are the activities that fit me the best:

1.  Cultivating Optimism

Optimistic thoughts are often self-fulfilling.  When we feel more optimistic about the future, we pursue our goals with more vigor.  This becomes an upward spiral of positive experiences building upon itself and lifting us to greater lasting happiness.

How do we cultivate optimism in our minds?  Well, Lyubomirsky and other researchers have found that an exercise called “the best possible selves diary” that works very potently.  In one of her experiments, participants were told:

“You have been randomly assigned to think about your best possible self now and during the next few weeks.  ‘Think about your best possible self’ means that you imagine yourself in the future, after everything has gone as well as it possibly could.  You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all your life goals.  Think of this as the realization of your life dreams, and of your own best potentials.” ~ The How of Happiness

To get the most happiness boost out of this activity, it is important to approach it as a writing exercise.  Writing forces you to organize and analyze your thoughts making them coherent.  I have found many benefits from using this exercise.

2.  Increasing Flow Experiences

What is flow?  It is that state of activity where you are totally absorbed and become oblivious to everything else going on around you.  The key to creating flow is to find a balance between skills and challenges.  If the task is too easy, you become bored.  If it is too hard, you become frustrated.  Flow occurs when you are stretched, but not too far.

Flow is beneficial because it is intrinsically pleasurable and fulfilling to us.  How do we increase flow experiences?  Well, one of the best ways is to simply identify and engage more often in those activities at work, home and elsewhere that absorb our attention completely.

Every individual is unique in regard to what activities create a flow experience for them.  For me, I often reach a state of flow while reading great books or while writing this blog.  In fact, I can honestly say that I’ve been in a state of flow for the last several minutes while writing this article.  In addition, I also experience flow when I’m active in great outdoor adventures.

3.  Savoring Life’s Joys

Savoring the positive experiences in one’s life is very crucial to lasting happiness.  You can savor life in many ways including by:

• Reminiscing alone or with others
• Prolonging enjoyable activities for as long as possible
• Finding ways to intensify pleasurable experiences
• Celebrating good news
• Being mindful of the present moment
• Observing and luxuriating in natural beauty
• Recording positive experiences for relishing memories
• Seeking bittersweet experiences to enhance the positive side of life

A key to savoring life is to do it even in the common moments.  You have to teach yourself to recognize what is special about everyday experiences.  Live a little slower.  Drink in what you typically pass by.  Reflect, relish and daydream to engage your mind in savoring your past, present and future!

4.  Committing to Your Goals

Pursuing goals adds significance and purpose to our lives.  Without them, we are wandering aimlessly.  Achieving a goal boosts our self-confidence and gives us a sense of control over our lives.  Committing to goals also often forces us to engage with other people which induces happy feelings on its own.

Lyubomirsky offers several very good measures to help guide us in our goal selection.   I’ll admit that I’ve slacked off lately from keeping written goals.  This is something I plan to pick up again and I feel confident that when I do, it will increase my happiness.

A couple of words of caution about intentional happiness activities

It is worth reiterating that these four happiness activities are just a few of the twelve offered in The How of Happiness.  These are the four that the Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic suggested for me.  These may or may not work for you.  I highly encourage you to go through the diagnostic to determine what fits you best.

Also, you may think these activities seem a little trite and corny.  You may feel that they are a bit too simplistic or naive.  Well, there is a lot of science that backs this stuff up.  Lyubomirsky provides numerous references to corroborate her claims that you can check out for yourself.  Also, isn’t this maybe one of the reasons that these activities get overlooked so often?  Don’t we often dismiss the obvious when in fact it is the solution?

What do you think of the idea of intentional happiness activities?  Will you give it a try?

There is more to come about the science of happiness so be sure to subscribe for free so you won’t miss a single article!

Photo by romainguy

Many of us are just spinning our wheels in the way we pursue life.  We want to be happy and we continually try to get what we want, but life just seems to always leave us feeling a little empty.

The good news is that there is a scientific approach to solving this dilemma!  If we apply these proven principles, we can actually experience more of what we want out of life.

What would make you happier?

Take a look at the list below and think about what you want out of life.  Would you rather:

• Win the lottery and become wealthy?
• Land the job of your dreams?
• Find and marry the perfect person?
• Have two adorable children?
• Own a bigger, more luxurious home?
• Have a more flexible work schedule?
• Live a healthier lifestyle?
• Get an extreme makeover?
• Be cured of a chronic illness or disability?

I imagine that most of us have desired one or more of the things on this list.  I sure have and it certainly isn’t wrong to want these things, but science tells us that none of them will make us substantially happier.  Surprised?

Research has shown that what we often believe we want from life really has very little to do with making us happier.  These things might give us a little boost, but they don’t lead to a true lasting sense that we are getting what we want out of life.

Do you ever feel like there just has to be more to life?

If you’ve ever felt that there just has to be more to life, then keep reading because I believe this information will help you.  It has certainly helped me get my head straight.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California has spent her career studying well-being and what truly makes us happy.  I recently read her book titled The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.

It was fantastic!  I generally shy away from books written by a psychologists or anyone with the letters Ph.D. after their name, but I’m glad I made an exception this time.

Lyubomirsky and other researchers have discovered the factors that determine our happiness.  They concluded that about 50% of our well-being is determined by an inherited happiness set-point and that about 10% is a result of our circumstances as shown in the chart below.  The remaining 40% is within our power to control through intentional happiness activities.

Perhaps the most counterintuitive finding is that as the chart shows, only about 10% of the variance in our happiness levels is explained by differences in life circumstances or situations – that is, whether we are rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, beautiful or plain, married or divorced, etc.  ~ Sonja Lyubomirsky in The How of Happiness

As you can see, we generally concentrate most of our effort in life on only 10% of the happiness pie!  Most of us, dwell on our circumstances.  We try to find happiness and significance in where we live, the quality of our relationships, our looks, our job and our financial condition

This is why there is a gap between what we want in life versus what we experience!  We are often ignoring 40% of what we could do to get the most out of life.  This leaves an incredible hole that we are trying to fill in all the wrong ways!

I don’t know how you feel about this information, but as someone that is interested in living life to it fullest, I found this to be a huge breakthrough!

Do you have a 40% hole in your life?

Please realize what I’m saying, we are like hamsters running on a spinning wheel!  We work harder, spend more and change everything (including spouses) in an attempt to fill that hole in our lives that never seems to be satisfied.  The only problem is we are doing all the wrong things!

All our effort goes toward changing our circumstances which only accounts for about 10% of our happiness!

What if we redirected our energy to doing the things scientists put in the 40% slice of the pie?  What if we engaged in the intentional happiness activities that real science shows leads to a lasting sense of well-being? 

I suggest that the hole or gap would be filled!  We could find true contentment and get more out of life in every way!  This is the breakthrough!

Why should we want to be happier?

Happiness is about more than just feeling good.  Science has discovered and Lyuromirsky points out in her book that happier people when compared to their less happy peers:

• Are more sociable, more charitable and more cooperative and better liked
• Are more likely to get and stay married and have more friends
• Show more flexibility and ingenuity and are generally more productive in their jobs
• Are better leaders and negotiators and earn more money
• Prove to be more resilient in the face of hardship
• Have stronger immune systems, are physically healthier and live longer

This is a very impressive list of benefits and it fits exactly with what I call super-charged living or living life to the absolute fullest!  Even if you feel completely satisfied with your life, this list should prompt you to wonder if you could be even happier!

What are the intentional happiness activities?

What kinds of intentional activities can we engage in to make ourselves happier?  Well, stay tuned because I’m going to write more about that over the coming days, but I promise that they are not difficult, weird or revolutionary in anyway.  The intentional happiness activities are simple, practical and common enough that anyone can do them.

It does take a little work to become happier, but the pay off is well worth it!  If you haven’t already, please be sure to subscribe via email or RSS so you won’t miss a single article in this series!

Do you want to be happier?  Are you looking forward to learning more?

Photo by Joseph Gray

I am trying to learn from the mistakes of others in this area.  I intensely pursue success financially and professionally.  However, I also seek significance in my life.  Today, I thought I’d share seven ways I strive to make my life more fulfilling.

1. Living Intentionally.  I make a plan for how I want to invest my life.  If I don’t have a chosen destination with a mapped out route to follow, then I get lost.  This is really the foundation I use to make sure I prioritize those things that truly add meaning to my life.
   

   “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” ~Stephen R. Covey

2. Creating Balance.  I have to work diligently to create balance between work and home.  This is not always easy.  It often seems that these two areas of my life are diametrically opposed.  However, I believe it is possible to be successful in both places.  It just takes effort.  We have all seen those that are workaholics and in the process sacrifice their families.  The result is usually disastrous.  I believe that my wife and children need me in order for them to achieve their greatest potential in life and just as importantly, I need them.  I can only achieve my greatest successes with their love and support.
3. Being Grateful.  According to U.S. Census data in 2006, the median income in this country was over $48,000 per year.  Worldwide this figure is less than $8,000!  I am rich!  In addition, I have a lot of other things to be grateful for in the United States.  I have safety, security and more than enough food to eat.  It is easy to watch the evening news and get depressed with talks of recession, war, and crime.  It is also easy to start envying what other people have that I don’t.  However, this just steals my joy.  I try to focus on what I do have and exercise my gratefulness.
4. Spending Quality Time.  I try to spend quality time with my wife and friends.  I am getting ready to go away on vacation with my wife for a week.  We are leaving the kids with family and just the two of us are getting away together.  We try to do this once a year.  I have found that this does wonders for our marriage.  It also does wonders for me!
5. Giving Time to Children.  I get a kick out of spending time with my children.  They see things that I don’t.  They are full of joy and wonder towards the world.  When I spend time with them, some of their enthusiasm  and creativity rubs off on me.  I believe that there is no better way for me to invest my time.  They need me and I need them.  When I want a good laugh, I don’t search for a sitcom, I go find my children because they can always deliver in this area.
6. Treating Others Like I Want to be Treated.  I try to live by the Golden Rule.  It is a simple moral compass.  It works in every area of my life.  I have found that if you treat everyone with courtesy and respect, you will go farther and be happier in life.
7. Exercising My Faith.  My faith is an essential piece of who I am.  Attending weekly services is a vital part of keeping myself grounded.  It is a positive input into my life and reminds me to do all of the things I have listed above.

These seven things make my life more fulfilling.  I count them as the priorities in my life.  They enrich my heart and refresh me.  They are the well I draw upon for the motivation and drive I need to succeed in the rest of my life.  What do you do to create meaning and fulfillment in your life?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

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