My Super-Charged Life» jealousy http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog Good Habits for a Great Life! Tue, 22 May 2012 12:00:21 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= Avoid The Pitfall Of Comparing Yourself To Others http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/ http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/#comments Wed, 10 Sep 2008 12:33:35 +0000 Jeff http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/ reflections thumb Avoid The Pitfall Of Comparing Yourself To Others There is probably nothing that steals my happiness and contentment faster than comparing myself to another.  Why do I do this?  It robs me of enjoying what I have and who I am.  There always seems to be someone that has a better job, more money, a fancier car or nicer looks than I do.  Also, there are those people that seem to have it all together.  Have you fallen …

]]> reflections thumb Avoid The Pitfall Of Comparing Yourself To Others There is probably nothing that steals my happiness and contentment faster than comparing myself to another.  Why do I do this?  It robs me of enjoying what I have and who I am.  There always seems to be someone that has a better job, more money, a fancier car or nicer looks than I do.  Also, there are those people that seem to have it all together.  Have you fallen into the habit of comparing yourself to others?

Of course, we only see what’s on the surface.  We make assumptions based on outward appearance and we usually don’t give ourselves the credit due.  These comparisons just drag us down.

I’ve been guilty of this on many occasions.  I’ll meet someone in business and think, "Wow, he’s really smart.  Why don’t I know as much about this as he does?  He looks like he’s making good money too.  Why aren’t I doing as well as him?  What did he do to get so much further along than me?  We look to be about the same age.  I always seem to be lagging behind everyone else."  These types of thoughts rush through my mind continuing ad nauseam.  They leave me feeling unhappy, insecure and dejected.

The pit we dig when we compare ourselves to others.

There are a number of ways that comparing ourselves to others does damage and if it goes on, then we can dig a real emotional hole.  Here’s some of the things I feel when I’ve been comparing myself to others.  See if it effects you in the same way.

1.  Steals my contentment.

Right off the bat, it robs me of my contentment.  It steals away my opportunity to enjoy what I have and what I’ve accomplished.  It creates envy in my heart.  I start wanting what the other person has.  The grass starts looking greener on the other side of the fence.  It is crazy really.  Why do I let myself think this way and give away my happiness? 

2.  Creates feelings of inadequacy.

I start to feel like I don’t measure up when I compare myself to someone that appears to be doing better than me.  Of course, I don’t really know anything about their situation.  I rarely know how they got to where they’re at, but I imagine they did it by being smarter, wiser, and better than me.

3.  Makes me insecure.

Comparing myself in this way destroys my self-confidence.  It makes me start questioning everything about myself.  I start feeling like a sham.  I worry what other people are thinking about me.  I start thinking that maybe people are taking advantage of me.  It is a slippery slope that can get out of control.

These feelings of discontentment, inadequacy, and insecurity pile upon one another if I let them.  They become a deep pit that zaps me of my motivation and joy.  Of course, there are ways to avoid this trap altogether.

The ways that I avoid comparing myself to others.

Over the years, I have tried to train myself to stop comparing myself to others.  I have realized that this thinking is bad for me and something I need to consciously avoid.  Here’s some of what I do.  I hope it will help you develop a plan to avoid such comparisons.

1.  Nip it in the bud.

First, I do my best to take control of my thoughts.  When I recognize that I’m comparing myself to others, I stop immediately.  I redirect my thinking to all that I have to be thankful for.  I recount in my mind that I have a wonderful family, a great job, and that I’ve led a fantastic life.  I’ve even made lists of all I have to be grateful about in case I really get in a pit.  These lists then serve to elevate my thinking quickly.

2.  Not everything is as it appears.

I remind myself that I am only looking at the surface of the other person’s life.  I have found over and over again that things are not always as they appear once you get to know someone.  Those that seem financially very successful often have terrible relationships.  Some that have a lot of freedom and go jet setting around the globe are often very lonely.  It is important not to judge a book by its cover.

3.  Externals are not what matters.

I remind myself that my value is not based on external factors such as how much money I have, what I drive, and where I live.  It is easy to get caught up in this trap.  Our society pushes this type of thinking.  We often measure people based on these things.  However, real self-worth should come from knowing we love others, make wise choices, and make a positive contribution.  We all have qualities to be appreciated, but we are each unique and valuable in our own way.

Stop comparing yourself to others and start living.

Living a full and happy life is about developing our unique gifts and talents.  It is about finding our passion and developing our strengths.  We should avoid the tendency to want to conform or become like others.  We have to develop an appreciation for what we have and who we are.  This comes by taking control of our thoughts, practicing gratitude, and realizing our self-worth.

What do you do to avoid comparing yourself to others?

Photo by LollyKnit

Avoid The Pitfall Of Comparing Yourself To Others]]> http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/avoid-the-pitfall-of-comparing-yourself-to-others/feed/ 18