The art of chivalry has been around since the Middle Ages.  It gets talked about now and again, but is it alive and well now?  Does it even have a place in our culture?

What kind of men do you want the little boys of today to grow up to be?  Is chivalry something you should be teaching your sons?  Should fathers be modeling this behavior?

Stop for a moment and ponder what the word means to you.  What kind of images does it pull up in your head?  Is it favorable or not? 

Is your understanding of chivalry complete and accurate?  Oftentimes, we have only a partial understanding based on pieces we’ve been exposed to.  Let’s take a closer look at chivalry to see how it stands up to some scrutiny.

Examining the Ideals of Chivalry

In order to answer the questions I posed above and to judge the value of chivalry, we need to understand a little more about it.

Wikipedia says, the term is related to the medieval institution of knighthood.  Knights were aristocrats or members of the ruling class that became soldiers.  They fought in wars and legend has it they followed a code of law called, you guessed it, chivalry.

So, chivalry was a standard of behavior adopted by these men.  Why might knights invent such a code of conduct for themselves?  Well, in war, you need to know that you can trust the man next to you.  Therefore, just as in the military today, there are certain formal and informal rules you must follow if you want to be a part of the unit.

What are the rules?  Today, chivalry conjures images of polite manners like opening doors for ladies, but is this all there is to it?  I don’t think so.  Real chivalry has to do with virtue, honor and courtly love.  Let’s take a look at each of these so we can understand chivalry more fully.

1.  Knightly Virtue

A virtue is a desired quality or trait.  So, knightly virtues are those that make a good soldier.  Someone that can be a trusted part of the unit.  In the Middle Ages, things like horsemanship were included.  I doubt that you care if the boys and men around you learn to be good horsemen, but many of the other virtues are desirable.  Things like:

• Strength
• Integrity
• Humility
• Determination
• Mercy
• Generosity
• Courage
• Justice

The men of today could embrace some of these virtues a little more closely in my opinion.  I’ve grown pretty weary of all the scandals and corruption that’s plagued our leaders.  We need men that are willing to adopt a strong code of conduct so they can be trusted.  Don’t you think this aspect of chivalry is one we could use a little more of today?

2.  Honor

Honor is generally pretty tightly bound with virtue.  On one hand, honor is one’s earned respect or good name in the community.  It is how well you are thought of as a result of your actions.  For example, soldiers that endured difficult battles and sacrificed much for their country should be treated with honor.

In medieval times, knights protected their honor.  They didn’t want to do anything that might lead people to think poorly of them or to distrust them.  Otherwise, they might be excluded from their unit and ostracized from their communities.

On the other hand, honor was sometimes judged on one’s rank or social status.  In this case, it was often based on one’s wealth or family name.  Protecting one’s so-called honor kept them always on-guard for insult, actual or imagined.

In the same way, it often seems that men today are more concerned with creating and maintaining a fabricated public image instead of maintaining true honor.  They create a house of cards because they act one way in public and another when out of sight.  Somehow, they believe they are above the law, but most of the time this is not the case.  Men today should definitely be more concerned with establishing and protecting their real honor than trying to look high and mighty.

3.  Courtly Love

Of all three of the ideals of chivalry, courtly love is probably the most troublesome.  It is not even clear whether this was practiced in reality or just wrote about in literature.  If it was real, it still has some issues.  For example, since many marriages in medieval times were arranged to create status and wealth, courtly love was often used as a way for men and women to express attraction and affection beyond marital boundaries.  Overall, it wasn’t as virtuous as it is often thought of today.

However, there are still some redeeming qualities to the notion of courtly love.  For example, here are a few that seem appropriate:

• Boys do not love until they arrive at the age of maturity
• No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons
• A true lover does not desire to embrace in love anyone except his beloved
• It is not proper to love any woman whom one would be ashamed to seek to marry

On the other hand, there are definitely some rules of courtly love that we wouldn’t want our sons or daughters to model, such as:

• Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women
• A man in love is always apprehensive
• When made public, love rarely endures
• A slight presumption causes a lover to suspect his beloved

While courtly love might not be the panacea of relationships, the romance it promotes is inspiring if you can ignore the dysfunctional aspects of it.  However, that might be a lot to ask.  This ideal of chivalry is certainly one that you have to pick and choose from carefully.  Some of its tenets are practiced a little too widely already today.

The Verdict on the Art of Chivalry

Chivalry is certainly interesting to explore.  Many of its ideals are ones that we need to encourage and foster in our young people.  However, it isn’t a concept that is without its faults either.  As with most things, we need to take from it the parts that we can use and leave behind the rest.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

In our pursuit of living life to the fullest, fun is an essential element.  One that we often ignore. 

Having fun is not admired in our society like work is for example.  If you are having fun, then you are goofing off.  I think men are especially susceptible to this way of thinking.

However, without some fun and enjoyment, we quickly burn out.  Fun dissipates our stress and clears our minds.  We need a good amount of fun to help us feel happy.  If you are feeling run down and blue, then I suggest trying one of these fun activities to boost your morale.

The Big List of 50 Ideas for Manly Fun

Sometimes even when we know we need some fun, we can’t think of anything to do.  Therefore, I’ve put together this list to help inspire you to create your own enjoyable experience.

Here are 50 ideas for manly fun:

1.  Go to a NCAA football game.  The season starts soon!

2.  Rent a motorcycle for a road trip.

3.  Go see back-to-back action movies.

4.  Take a solo hike in the woods.

5.  Learn to scuba dive.

6.  Rent a boat for a weekend.

7.  Spend a quiet afternoon in Starbucks reading a great book.

8.  Take a kayaking class.

9.  Go on a whitewater rafting trip.

10.  Take a day off in the middle of the week.

11.  Go to a NASCAR race.

12.  Get a group of friends to go bowling.

13.  Organize a poker game.

14.  Visit your favorite local pub after work, but don’t overdo it.

15.  Attend a Major League Baseball game.

16.  Sit in a lawn chair in a city park and just relax.

17.  Throw a big party at your house.

18.  Buy the latest and greatest video game.

19.  Go to a big concert.

20.  Travel to the Caribbean for a tropical vacation.

21.  Surprise your wife or girlfriend with a night out on the town.

22.  Cook a big steak on the grill.

23.  Skip the cooking and instead go out to your favorite steak house.

24.  Borrow your bachelor friend’s fast car for a day or two.

25.  Learn to fly fish for trout.

26.  Take a hunting trip.

27.  Go to the local gun range and shoot a really cool firearm.

28.  Spend a day at the swimming pool.

29.  Take a run on the beach.

30.  Go mountain biking on a new trail.

31.  Take a guided, deep sea fishing trip.

32.  Fly a real fighter plane.

33.  Learn to hang ten on a surfboard.

34.  Go backpacking in a national park.

35.  Plan yourself an off-road, 4×4 adventure.

36.  Get face-to-face with a real, live shark.

37.  Climb a mountain or at least walk up one.

38.  Go snowboarding (seasonal).

39.  Get a tee time and shoot a round of golf.

40.  Fish for largemouth bass in an area lake.

41.  Take your dog to the dog park and play fetch.

42.  Go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland.

43.  Take your kids to the amusement park and ride all the thrill rides.

44.  Play a game of chess, dominoes or checkers with a friend.

45.  Take a day to reacquaint yourself with your favorite musical instrument.

46.  Buy and fly a remote control airplane.

47.  Go to a comedy club.

48.  Rent an RV and spend some time in the great outdoors.

49.  Go rock climbing or rappelling.

50.  Take a sailboat for a nice long cruise.

Get Out and Have Some Manly Fun

Men, go ahead and indulge yourself with a little fun this week.  You’ll definitely thank yourself for it.  You’ll feel happier, have less stress and experience that adrenaline rush you’ve been missing.

How do you like to have fun?

Photo by nsaplayer

You are striving for knighthood.

Imagine for a moment that we live in the times of knights that wore shining armor and rode valiant, white steeds.  I am the king and you desire knighthood.  I like this already!  Knights were highly respected warriors.  Becoming a knight was greatly desired because it brought honor and recognition to your family name.  As a result, your family has been grooming you for knighthood since you very little.  They started out teaching you manners and courtesy at a very early age.  These are considered the most elementary and basic traits needed to ever hope to become a knight.  Now, you have grown into a strong and brave young man.  You come to the king and seek knighthood.  How will he evaluate your worthiness?  As king, he will want to know if you have demonstrated chivalry in all your actions.  But, what is chivalry really?  Let’s examine more closely each of the three ideals of chivalry so you will know exactly what the king is looking for in you.

Are you living a life of knightly virtues?

As men hopeful to become knights, it is our responsibility to lead by example.  The standard is very high!  What virtues is the king inquiring about when he wants to know if we live with knightly virtues?  He will inquire about things like courage, justice, temperance, generosity, and hope.  Are we disciplining ourselves and cultivating this kind of behavior in ourselves and those around us?  Men, the king wants to know if we have embraced the more manly virtues of knighthood.  He asks, “What have you done to show that you are brave in battle, loyal to your king and God, and willing to sacrifice yourself for the greater good?“  What would be your answer?  Is your life committed to a cause worth fighting for? 

He would go on to ask, “Do you stand up for what’s right no matter the cost, do you avoid excesses in eat and drink, have you contributed to the welfare of the kingdom’s widows and orphans?”  The king might bring in your friends, family members, and members of your community as witnesses.  What would they say about the way you live your life?  Would they have examples of your virtuous deeds to share with the king?  Once the king was satisfied that you live with knightly virtues he would move on to evaluate your honor.

Honor is critical to chivalry and knighthood.

The king knows that honor is about reputation.  It is about your integrity.  He would want to know if the important people in your life trust you.  Should they?  Trustworthiness comes from doing the right thing in every situation.  Trust is earned.  The king would want to know if your actions have earned you the trust and respect of your brother warriors.  He knows that a man is only as good as his word.  The king would also ask your business associates, “When he shook on deals, did he always, without exception, stand behind his agreement?”  He would want to know if your word is better than any legal contract.  What would these people say about you?

The king would go on to question your wife and family.  He knows that in order to become a knight and serve the kingdom well, that you must stand behind your promises.  He would ask your wife, “Has he been 100% faithful in action and attitude?”  The king knows the temptations that exist.  For example, he knows that conservative estimates are that 60% of men have extramarital affairs.  He would want to know if you stood behind your word in your wedding vows to forsake all others loving her in times of sickness and health, for richer or poorer, better or worse.  He would ask your kids, “Does your dad keep his promises?”  Are you there both physically and mentally when you promise to be?  Do you make time to play with them when you say you will?  The king would scrutinize the answers of everyone closely because he knows that honor and trustworthiness are critical to knighthood.  Once the king was satisfied that you have met this qualification for knighthood, he would go on to evaluate the final ideal of chivalry.

Every princess deserves courtly love from her chivalrous knight.

At this point, the king would be satisfied that you have met the basic requirements of your marriage, but now he would take it one step further.  The standards of knighthood are high and the king would want to know if you have demonstrated courtly love for your wife.  He would want to know if you treat your woman as a true princess.  He would assemble a court of your wife’s sisters, friends, and co-workers to help him evaluate you in this ideal.  The king would ask them about your romantic reputation with your wife.  He would want to know, “Does he still romance her like he did when they were courting?”  He would ask them for specific examples of your feats of romantic love.  He would want to know if you demonstrate to the world that she is your one and only?  He would ask the ladies, “Does she brag about his romantic feats?”  Do these other woman know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you would risk your life defending your wife against the fiercest fire-breathing dragon in all the kingdom?  Would your love for your wife hold up to this level of scrutiny by the king?  If so, then you may be ready for knighthood!

You are hereby dubbed Sir Knight of Modern Chivalry.

We have high ideals to live up to in order to be dubbed modern knights.  It isn’t easy being a real man and living by the ideals of chivalry.  However, the benefits are well worth it.  If we choose this path, we will reap its rewards.  I hope you are up to the task.  Our families, businesses, and communities need some true knights.  We need men that pursue the ideals of chivalry with their whole hearts.  Ask your wife.  I bet she would love you to be her knight in shining armor!

Are you a candidate for knighthood?  If so, apply to the king by leaving a comment below!  Also, be sure to Stumble or Digg this article so other knights can find it.

Photos by DesignMinistry, Feuillu, xjyxjy and Kodak Agfa