We all encounter setbacks in our life.  Something happens that steals all or most of our forward momentum and discourages us to the point that we want to give up.

Setbacks seem to always come at the worst possible time too.  They are often deemed the straw that broke the camel’s back.  They can send us into a free fall.

I want to encourage you not to quit despite your setback.  Maybe this setback is just a part of The Dip that you need to press through to a greater life.

Five strategies to help you overcome your setback

I’ve had my share of setbacks.  I’ve been laid off unexpectedly, experienced a business divorce and lost a home to a tornado among other things. 

Yes, I know a little about setbacks.

If there is one thing that I’ve learned through it all, it is that setbacks are just speed bumps.  They are not the end of the world unless you let them be. 

Here’s what to do if you experience a setback:

1.  Decide not to quit

I know this sounds a little silly, but you have to muster the resolve inside yourself that you are not going to quit.  Quitting is a sure-fire way to fail.

You may drastically change your tactics.  You may take a brief break to gather your senses.  You may change directions, but you cannot sit down and give up!  That is not acceptable and I won’t let you do it! 

By quitting now, you will sacrifice all the time and effort you’ve invested in your journey to this point.  Do not give up!

Say to yourself out loud right now, “I will not quit.”  Repeat it as many times as possible until you start believing it.

2.  Get a pep talk

Go to someone positive that you know and discuss your setback with them.  Tell them you are discouraged and need a little help getting over this hump.

Every time that I encounter a setback or even a lull in one of my endeavors, I find that a little encouragement can go a long way.

Often, just talking about the situation with another human being somehow makes it seem a lot less ominous.  It brings it back down to size.  Our imaginations can make mountains out of mole hills.

Your setback may be more than a mole hill, but a good pep talk will help you.  It might even spark an idea on how to mitigate some of the damage and get things back on track faster than you ever imagined.  What are you waiting for?  Get a pep talk!

3.  Recruit someone to help

If you are really stymied and overwhelmed by the whole mess on your hands, then you might want to bring someone else in to help you over the hump.

It could be a spouse, family member, business associate or friend.  Anyone that has a good head on their shoulders and is willing to share the burden for a period of time to help you regain your momentum.

If your situation is particularly nasty, then you might even want to bring in a professional.  You might need to speak to an attorney, consultant or accountant to help you straighten things out again.

Two heads are often better than one.  Don’t feel embarrassed to ask for help!  All successful people have needed help at one time or another to get to where they are.  Don’t believe me?  Just ask one!

4.  Refuse to whine

Do not become a whiner!  In the beginning, you can indulge yourself with a brief, private pity party.  Get it all out.  Cry, fuss, stomp your feet and ask “Why me?”  But, once you’ve done this leave it behind and get focused on the recovery.

Negativity, revenge, backbiting, gossip and whining have no place in overcoming setbacks.  They are time wasters and only serve to drag you and everyone around you down.

Also, do not adopt an excuse and let it become your cop out.  Some common examples include:

• It was the bad economy.
• They stabbed me in the back and stole my idea.
• The government didn’t give us took what we needed.

I repeat do not adopt one of these and make it your pet that comforts you through your pain.  These excuses are crutches that can become addictions.  Addictions are bad!

5.  Journal about your setback and your mistakes

Writing forces you by its very nature to organize your thoughts and to create structure where none formally existed.  I highly recommend taking some time to start a journal.

Journaling about your setback has value because it can help you make sense of all the emotions involved.  You need to sort these out so you can think clearly.

A journal also creates a record that you can refer back to to recall what happened or what was said or to get a late night pick-me-up when no one is around for another pep talk.

In your private journal, admit your mistakes that led up to or contributed to this setback.  What?!?  Yes, you need to take some personal responsibility for what happened and you can do it in a journal.  Learn from your mistakes!

Employ these strategies and you will recover quickly!

From someone that’s been there, done that and got the t-shirt, I know setbacks suck.  However, you can move past them.  You can get back on track.  I’ve done it.  You just have to roll up your sleeves, make up your mind and get going again.  Use the strategies that I’ve outlined above to recover quickly!

What other strategies have you used to recover quickly from setbacks?

Photo by Esparta

1.  Unleash your dreams.

Stop holding back on thinking about the desire that is deep in your heart.  It may have been there for a long time or it could be brand new.  It may be a quiet little whisper telling you to start your own business or it may be a roaring lion urging you to go back to school.  However your dream speaks to you right now, stop and listen.  Give it a chance.  There are seasons in our lives for everything.  Your desires may be telling you of a new season ready to spring forth in your life if you are willing to listen to it.  Don’t squelch your desires without even giving them a chance to blossom!

2.  Stop thinking so small.

The desires of our heart usually seem big to us.  They challenge and stretch our thinking.  This is what is meant by being outside our comfort zone.  Dreams and desires often make us uncomfortable.  They are a little scary, but we have to stop thinking small.  Let your dream expand.  Unpack your desires and let them grow on paper and in your mind.  Start getting some ideas out and let them simmer for awhile.  Discuss your dream with a trusted friend.  It is amazing how something as simple as this often becomes the first step toward realizing progress toward a suppressed desire.  My desire to start this blog began as some simple ideas jotted in a notebook one day when I was reading at the park.  You never know when inspiration will hit!

3.  Don’t be afraid to fail.

Why are we so afraid of failure?  I’m guilty of succumbing to my fears, but if we let it fear will rob us of our greatest potential in life.  It will stunt our growth.  Don’t let it.  Put failure away.  Dorothea Brande tells us to, “Act as if it were impossible to fail.” in her book titled “Wake Up and Live”.  What would you do today if you knew without a doubt that it was impossible to fail?  It is a compelling question, isn’t it?  Fear is often hard to overcome.  However, the killer part is that we have so much more to lose by not trying at all.  The consequences of a setback in our efforts is usually minimal compared to total inaction.  Fear is all in our mind.  We cannot let it rob us of our dreams!  Starting acting as if you cannot fail.

4.  Believe that dreams will pay the bills.

This is a specific fear that I think is very common.  Most of us believe that we cannot make a living at our dream.  However, there are a ton of people that have.  In fact, we usually make more money by doing something we love.  Of course, you have to pursue things in a thoughtful way.  If you are supporting your family, please don’t quit your job to pursue your dream without an alternate source of income.  However, it is possible to start taking action today to begin changing your course in life.  It is possible.  In fact, you need to keep telling yourself that it is possible until you start believing it.  A few years from now, you will wonder why it took you so long to start working in the area of your passion.

5.  Help others get what they want.

Helping others bring their dreams into reality is a great way to jumpstart your own desires.  I believe that the more you give in life, the more you get.  Pour yourself out in serving others.  Structure your dream in such a way that it helps other people and then really go the extra mile in serving them.  You may need to start working toward your dream as if it were a hobby.  For example, if you are a photographer, take some photos for a friend’s family at no charge.  If you want to write, then offer to put together a guest post for a blog or write an article for a local magazine.  You want to help the other party and get noticed.  The best way to do this is to let your passion shine.

6.  Don’t give up.

I offer this advice every chance I get.  The older I get, the more I believe that a lot of the difference between success and failure is perseverance.  We often expect too much too soon.  We are like fireworks on the 4th of July.  We shoot up with a dazzling bright sparkle, make a nice pop at the top, and then fizzle and fall.  Slow and steady wins the race.  Pace yourself.  Don’t burnout and give up.  This is the biggest danger to our success.  Keep trucking even when you don’t feel like it.  It is okay to take a break, but don’t quit.  It is when you most feel like quitting that your biggest success is waiting just around the corner!

Follow your guiding light to live the life of your dreams!

The dreams and desires you have in life are there for a reason.  They are your guiding light.  They want to lead you to the life you most desire.  Your job is to follow them.  Put your heart and reputation on the line.  Nothing in life is achieved without risk.  Don’t be foolhardy, but don’t wait another minute to start pursuing what you most desire.  Start taking the simplest steps and see where that leads you.  You will be amazed at how fast your dream builds up momentum.  Follow Nike’s slogan and “Just Do It!”

What are your dreams?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

Photos by ricardo.martins and rachel_thecat and mandj98

Every big success started as an idea in someone’s mind.

The automobile, the phone, and the computer were all simply ideas that an ordinary human being had before they became the phenomenal successes they are today.  These ideas were no different than the ideas you and I have.  Look at Bill Gates, the world’s richest person according to Forbes, who at 20 had an idea that he sold to a computer company which in short order led to the founding of Microsoft.  When Gates first contacted his prospective buyer, he didn’t have anything more than an idea.  The small action step he took in contacting the computer company to see if they would be interested in his idea started the ball rolling which led from one opportunity to another.  By consistently taking this kind of action, Gates built a net worth that today exceeds $59 billion!

All thoughts are energy. 

In the physical world, potential and kinetic are two types of energy.  A compressed spring stores large amounts of potential energy.  When and if the spring is released, BOING, its potential energy is unleashed as kinetic energy.  Kinetic energy is the work done to propel an object into motion.  Your ideas are like stored up energy that is waiting to be released.  When you take action toward achieving your desires you release the BOING.  The action you take is necessary to unleash the potential energy of your ideas and create momentum.

Momentum builds speed. 

Once you have speed on your side then it is difficult to stop your ideas.  A racing locomotive has a lot of momentum.  It takes a really big obstacle to stop it.  When you do the work necessary to get your ideas in motion, they become like the locomotive.  It is practically impossible to stop them from becoming a success.  How awesome would it be to see your greatest desire with this kind of momentum?  It can happen and it all starts with one little step in the right direction.  It all begins when you do the work.  The movement may be hard to detect at first, but it will build on itself.  Once you get things going they can move quickly.  For really big dreams, it may take months or even years of work to really get moving, but you never know.  The one thing that is certain is that if you don’t take the first step toward your dream, then it won’t ever have a chance.

Can you imagine what you will accomplish if you live your life as Kettering suggests?

Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.
~Charles Kettering, Inventor

If you believe and act like it is impossible to fail, you will take the steps needed to make your greatest desires a reality.  Where would you be today if you had started one, two, or five years ago to work on your dream?  What about a month ago?  Why not start today? 

Take action right this minute!  I mean it.  Get a pencil and piece of paper and do the following:

1. Write your dream or desire at the top of the sheet.
2. List the first three steps you need to take to make your dream a reality.  These should be straightforward action steps.  Nothing complicated.  Start them with a verb.  For example, if you were going to make a presentation, you might write down, “Reserve a room“.
3. Now immediately, without thinking about it, do the first item on your list.

Congratulations!

If you did what I suggested above, then you just created momentum.  Go on to the next item on your list.  Waiting to take action will let fear and doubt creep into your mind.  This is usually why our dreams never become a reality.  Of course, now that you are aware of it, you will avoid delay.  You will take action and do the work to start living the life you dreamed of when you were little!

Photos by Xseriesthree and Charles & Clint