What was your attitude this morning as you got out of bed about the day that lay before you?  Were you expectant or were you dreading something? 

Life can either be a chore or an adventure.  It is really up to us.  We choose how we view our days.

Danger lurks all around us, but one of the sneakiest and deadliest menaces we face is this tendency to start a day dreading it.

How your mind will rob you of all the adventure in life if you let it

It is so incredibly easy to slip into thinking negatively about a day, event or activity.  It might be because it is going to be too hot or too cold or too far to travel or with the wrong people or because you have to be away from home or it’s out of your comfort zone or whatever.

A negative thought creeps in and suddenly, before you know it, you are dreading the day.  Your expectations for the period are totally twisted and knotted to the point that you become completely apprehensive about the whole thing.

It could be a day at work, a meeting, a trip or even something that is supposed to be fun like a date, a vacation or a holiday.  We have an amazing ability to psych ourselves out over the most trivial of details.

This negative thinking and dread is the mass murderer of all the fun and adventure in our life.  It silently and efficiently destroys our enjoyment leaving us bound up in fear, boredom and isolation.  It is truly a cancer of the mind!

My personal experience dealing with this cancer of the mind

I’ve made the mistake of dreading way too many of my days.  I’m not a complete sourpuss, but at times I have fallen into a rut of viewing a lot of things, things that could be seen in a positive light, with dread.

For example, I remember back when I was in the Air Force.  I was part of a flight crew that got deployed to various parts of the world.  I often dreaded these trips because they took me away from my home and loved ones for extended periods of time.

Obviously, being away was less than optimal, but at the same time I got to travel to places that many people never get to see.  I got to experience cultures and happenings that broadened my view of the world.  As a result, I know things many others do not.

However, the dread often overshadowed the opportunity in these trips.  It hung as a dark cloud over me for days before and even during these trips.  It robbed me of some of the enjoyment and adventure that I could have experienced if I wouldn’t have focused so intensely on the negative.

I’m not saying that being away shouldn’t have bothered me, but I should have controlled it instead of letting it control me.

There are also simpler examples in my day-to-day life.  For instance, on occasion, my wife suggests we do something like go to the zoo with the kids or take a day trip somewhere.  I have to admit that my first thought is sometimes a negative one.  I think it will be too much walking or too much time in the car or that I’d rather just stay home and relax.

If I let these thoughts run wild, then they can blossom into full-blown dread.  Fortunately, I am learning to squelch these thoughts quickly.

How to overcome dread and embrace the adventure in life

Dread can arise in our work or personal life.  It will derail you from living life to the fullest.  It is truly a cancer that kills your adventure and enjoyment. 

Here’s how I have started combating it:

1.  Consciously examine your thoughts and attitudes

I have really become aware lately of the little ways that I start developing a negative attitude toward something.  I’ve been listening closely to my speech and my thoughts and I’m amazed at how often subtle forms of negativity have crept into my life.  This conscious awareness is the starting point for defeating dread.  Recognizing what you are up against is often the first step in beating it.

2.  Halt the negative thinking as soon as you recognize it

Whenever you realize that you are starting down a path toward dread, then stop immediately.  Squelch the negative thoughts!  Shake them off!  Sometimes I actually physically shake my head (when I’m alone) to get the negative thoughts out of my mind.  Another technique I use to overcome negative thinking is distraction.  I divert my mind by reading a positive book or engaging in an absorbing hobby.  The point is that you have to immediately stop yourself from continuing down the path to dread.

3.  Replace negative thoughts with positive ones

I make a list of the positive benefits I’ll gain from what I’m beginning to dread.  You can do this in your mind, orally with another person or on paper.  For me, it depends on the situation.  If I’m alone, then I often just do this mentally.  If I’m with someone else like my wife, then I’ll start discussing with her the good things that could result from the activity.  If it is something that will occur further out in the future, then I often write down my positive thoughts so I can refer back to them often.  Emphasizing positive outcomes in your mind is a powerful antidote.

4.  Accept and be open to new experiences

We often control all the adventure right out of our lives.  We over plan and over analyze to the point that we drain the fun out of most things.  As I start thinking more positively about a situation, I automatically relax and feel more open to the new experience it brings.  This openness leaves room for adventure.  It makes serendipity or unexpected fortunate discoveries possible!  It is truly the path to a full and fun life!

A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.
~ John A. Shedd

These simple steps are all it takes to welcome adventure!

These are truly basic, simple steps that anyone can take.  Some might write them off as being too simplistic, but I’ve been using them myself and I can tell you that they work.  A positive, expectant attitude is such a better way to live!  It opens doors for new adventures and experiences.  It frees you from fear and worry.  And it will take you places that you would have never gone otherwise!

Have you let dread get the better of you?  How will you combat it?

Photo by pjf@cpan