Do you want to make better decisions?

Life is full of decisions.  There are the easy ones like what to have for a snack and then there are the harder ones like where to live and who to marry.

The choices you make determine the results you get.  Therefore, improving your decision-making ability even just a tad can really have a profound impact on the quality of your life.

How to Choose the Best Option

Decisions are all about options.  You have more than one way to go and therefore you have to decide which option is best.  A wrong choice can be disastrous and sometimes irreversible.  However, windows of opportunity often close fast.  Therefore, you need to be able to weigh key decisions carefully, but quickly.

Here are six questions you need to ask yourself to help evaluate your options:

1.  Does This Option Reflect My Values?

Regardless of how attractive an option may appear, if it goes against what you believe is right, then you need to cross it off your list.  Don’t get wooed into doing something you’ll regret tomorrow.  Compromising on what is ethical, legal or just plain right is a bad idea and one that could cost you in a serious way.  You should always start by evaluating each option against your values.  This can save you a lot of grief and help you to choose wisely.

2.  What Is the Worst-Case Scenario for This Option?

Knowing the worst that can result from choosing a particular option will help you to quickly assess the level of risk involved.  An option that has too big of a downside should probably be eliminated.  Also, knowing the worst-case up front can help you prepare so you can mitigate the damage should things take a turn in this direction later.

3.  What Are the Long- and Short-Term Advantages?

You need to look at the positive outcomes of choosing an option both in the short- and long-term.  Some choices may have a slight downside in the short-term.  This is nothing to worry about as long as it has a much greater potential over the long haul.  In fact, this may be the option you want to choose.  Don’t let yourself take the easy route.  Being too short-sighted will likely cost you down the road.  Success comes to those that are willing to put in the hard work now for a larger return later.

4.  Does This Option Exactly Meet My Goals?

Which option comes the nearest to meeting your overall goals?  The closer the match, the better.  This is just one factor in decision-making, but it is an important one.  You never want to lose sight of what is most important to you.  Make sure that you’ve clarified this in your own mind before you make any significant decision.  What is it that you want most?  Make sure the option you choose takes you in that direction.

5.  What Are the Trade-Offs of Choosing This Option?

Usually, when you choose one option over another, there are trade-offs.  In other words, you give up one thing to get another.  What would this option cost you?  It may cost you time, money or another opportunity.  You want to think this through carefully because sometimes making one choice will completely close the door on another.  Getting all the trade-offs you can out on the table will help you to weigh your options and decide wisely.

6.  Has This Option Been Tried Before?

Looking at past results is often a good indicator of what might happen in the future.  You need to research to find out what outcomes this option has produced for you and/or for others in the past.  Don’t jump to any conclusions here.  Be sure you get the best, most concrete information available from really reliable sources.  If you or someone else has tried this option before and failed with it, what makes you think you can do better with it now?  Asking this question can really help you sort out the best option.

Better Decisions Will Improve Your Life

If you answer the questions above accurately, then you will be able to weigh your options more effectively.  This will lead to better decisions.  Better decisions will undoubtedly improve your life.  However, remember no one is perfect.  It is impossible to predict the future accurately 100% of the time.  Therefore, don’t be too hard on yourself if once in awhile you make a mistake.  The key is to learn from it and to do better next time.

How do you make important decisions?  What do you think are the most important factors to consider?  Leave a comment and let me know.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

Are you getting what you want out of life?

If you aren’t, then it is time to try something new.  You need a new attitude, a new strategy or a new goal.

Life is full of amazing opportunities, but you’ll never know if you don’t reach out and proactively pursue more of what you truly want.

Life just doesn’t give up all its treasures without a fight.  What is it worth to you?  Are you willing to roll up your sleeves and demand more?

If you are, then you’ve come to the right place because today I’m going to share with you three very easy, yet extremely powerful ways that you can get more out of life starting right now.

3 Ways You Can Get More of What You Want

What do you want more of in your life?  Is it one or more of the things on the following list?

• Money
• Leisure Time
• Career Success
• Intimacy
• Control
• Happiness
• Opportunity
• Adventure
• Passion

These are all possible.  You just need to clearly understand a few basic principles and you’ll be able to bring a lot more of all of the above into your life.  It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?  Well, it’s not.

Anyone can do this, they just don’t.  It’s like Woody Allen said, “80% of success is just showing up.”  Eighty percent of the people out there simple fail to understand, accept and DO the basic things that lead to more success.

If you are ready for more, then let’s get to the things you need to do.

Here are three powerful ways you can get more out of life:

1.  Ask for What You Want

This seems too obvious, right?  Well, how often do you plainly and succinctly ask for exactly what you want?  Probably not often enough.  J. Money over at Budgets Are Sexy recently had an experience that really reinforced the simple, but powerful idea that sometimes you just have to ask.  He has a pay-it-forward project where each month he chooses a family to help.  In May, he identified a family that needed a car.  He asked for it and he got it.  You should read the story to get a full appreciation for just how powerful asking can be. 

You can use this in your life and, trust me, you’ll also be amazed at just how effective it is.  You won’t get everything you ask for, but you’ll get a lot more than you would have otherwise.

2.  Just Do It

Okay, so I’m stealing this one from Nike, but the results you can achieve from just acting without hesitancy can be truly astounding.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that far too often, you fail to believe enough in yourself to act on your ideas.  You are afraid that you won’t measure up so you just don’t try.  As Barrie puts it so eloquently in Don’t Underestimate Yourself, “When you are standing naked in The Land of No Excuses, it can be intimidating. Invisible eyes are on you saying, ‘Ok, now you actually have to do something.’ But it can be exhilarating too.” 

Stop being afraid, push your excuses aside for a moment and feel the exhilaration that comes from trying.  When you just do it, you increase your chance of success 100%.

3.  Focus

I can’t emphasize this one enough.  One of the biggest enemies to success is a lack of focus.  As Aileen acknowledges in Finding Focus in this Age of Distraction, “Dur­ing the times I’ve suc­ceeded I had a laser focus, and the times I’ve failed, I had allowed dis­trac­tions to interfere.”  There are a lot of things competing for your attention today.  It is ironic to say this, but if you want more, you need to focus on less.  You need to zero in on your top priorities and commit all your time, attention and resources on these one or two things until you achieve all of what you want.

You’ve got to be absolutely brutal about eliminating the things from your life that distract you from your focus.  If you do this, you will definitely experience more of the success you desire.

How do you get more out of life?  Please share your thoughts in the comments so we can all benefit.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

When you work for yourself, as a business owner, entrepreneur, or freelancer, you are often consumed with earning a living because you have a mortgage to pay and mouths to feed – the pay check doesn’t automatically come in every two weeks – so it is easy to lose sight of some of things that really matter.

The things which make you a better YOU. You have to create ways to stand out from the crowd.

Here are three tips to ensure that you experience a more successful and complete life:

1.  Family Comes First

A solid support network is critical to success, and where better to get this support than from your family. When starting or building a business, it’s often tough, but your family has to come first. Yes, there are times when you have to forego long periods of time with your family to work on a deal, or whatever, but if that’s not your normal behavior your family will understand. To ensure that kind of support and understanding, and not be perceived as emotionally distant, here are a few simple things to do.

• Find ways to involve your family in your business. It could be as simple as having your children do some photocopying for you.
• Eat one meal every day with your family.
• Once a week have a date night with your spouse.
• Keep one calendar for both work and life and have it accessible to your family, and try to involve them in the scheduling process.
• Take a day to explore your city with the family to see it through the eyes of a tourist, just as a fun thing to do.

When your work and life are integrated, you can focus on your work when you need to because your life is more harmonious. A family that does things together stays together.

2.  Take an Adventure in Learning

The world is moving too quickly for you not to keep up. If you have fallen behind, you have to get up-to-speed, as well as do what it takes to stay on top of things.

With online and mobile technologies, it’s much easier these days to keep up with the constant learning that’s required for success. And to be better, you have to carve out your niche, and offer a unique service, which is much easier if your learning is diverse. Many times the issues that you are grappling with in your business, has already been solved in other industries.

Here are some easy ways to take an adventure in learning:

• Once or twice a week, read some articles at MagPortal.com, How Stuff Works and AskNature.org. You will be astonished by what you learn, and there may be times when you can involve your family in the process. Imagine how good you will feel and how smart you will appear to your children, when they ask a question and you introduce them to How Stuff Works and AskNature.org, and the family embarks on a learning journey together.

• Once a week listen to a presentation at TED.com, the place where you are introduced to great ideas.

• Subscribe and listen to podcasts at iTunes that are related to what you do.

• Subscribe to executive book summaries to keep on top of new thinking. Soundview Executive Book Summaries and getAbstract are two options among many.

• Get a couple of courses that you and your family can learn and enjoy together from The Great Courses.

• YouTube University gives you access to free courses from some of the top universities in the US.

• Access and read books that are in the public domain at Project Gutenberg and Archive.org.

• The Great Books Foundation (http://www.greatbooks.org/), The School of Thinking, and The Center for the Study of Great Ideas are great places to hang out.

These learning options may be very different from what you expect, but to be unique, you have to distinguish yourself from the rest, and these are ways in which you can do so. You do not have to try everything at once, find one or two that resonates with you that you will stick to. The idea is to expand your knowledge base, and the best way is to just get started.

Now you may be wondering where you will find the time to consume all this new information, in an already over-scheduled day. Use the times you spend waiting at the check-out, at the doctor’s office, at the airport, and during commute.

And learn how to speed read, which is now easier than ever with RSVPs (Rapid Visual Serial Presentation), which are file extensions you add to your browser toolbars. You simply highlight the text you want to read and click the RSVP icon, or you copy and paste the text into the reader, and the text flashes across the screen and you read the words. Many of the RSVPs allow you to customize how many words you’d like to flash at once, and the speed per minute you’d like them to flash. This is an innovation that makes a huge difference for people who are dyslexic because the words flash in the correct order. Two good options are Reasy and Spreeder.

3.  Keep Opportunities Rolling In

When the economy contracts, why do some businesses thrive while others languish? Why is it that some of the most successful businesses today were started during a recession?

They capitalized on opportunities!

One of the best ways to get opportunities flowing in your direction is to build and nurture your relationships.

• Where do your clients and customers hang out? Go there and be of service.
• What kinds of things are you interested in? Find people with similar likes and spend time with them.

The more you show up, and are actively involved, the more you create the space for opportunities to constantly present themselves, because you are top-of-mind to many individuals. A strong network is one of the keys to success.

Life doesn’t guarantee you instant and constant success, but by following these three tips, and going down the path less traveled, you will increase your chances for success.

Avil Beckford is the published author of Tales of People Who Get It and its companion workbook Journey to Getting It. She is also Chief Invisible Mentor and blogs at The Invisible Mentor.

Photo by african_fi

This is a guest post by Lucinda Bassett, author of The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future

Some of my most potent opportunities have come from situations where I was challenged enough to have to do something. I was forced to face my fears and to change, which opened a door to an opportunity I’d never dreamed possible. My fear catapulted me to a whole new level of life experience as it urged me to open the door, look outside the box, and come up with some alternatives that were new and exciting.

3 Actions to Help Control Your Fear in the Face of Change

Glen Hiemstra, our expert futurist, designates three actions that will help you control your fear in the face of challenge and change:

1.  Get Current With the Latest Technology

If you’re not skilled technologically, it’s time to learn some cool networking techniques that will help you connect to other people and the world at large. Then you won’t have the sense that the world is leaving you behind.

2.  Improve Your Personal Communication Skills

Nothing will get you further in life than being able to communicate clearly and directly. Then you can ask for what you want with no confusion.

3.  Complexify Yourself

This made-up word means that you need to discover your array of choices. Glen suggests you find a book on science fiction or management theory and read it. Or find a book on the history of the Great Depression and see how your ancestors coped during difficult times. Whatever attracts you, learn more and become a far more interested and interesting person.

Conquer Fear to Increase Your Sense of Importance

People often say, "You know, I’d really like to do something important. I’d like to be part of something that matters."

If you fear the future, you will ruin your chances of making a difference because you will react to life with paranoia instead of hope. Like a tortoise hiding in its shell, people become so overwhelmed by fear, they are paralyzed, unable to move in any direction. There is a proven neurological response to fear that causes people to shut down at the precise moment when they need to make an important decision. Once the response kicks in, they either can’t make any decision whatsoever, or they make the wrong one based on fearful projections about the future.

The challenge is to stay outside the boundary, Glen tells us, and find some alternatives to unfreeze yourself. You might engage in physical exercise like a hike or a bike ride to try to break up some of the stress. The point is that doing the three actions listed above can open you to change and the possibilities that come with it.

Most successful people do this on a steady basis. Glen regularly tells his groups, "The next twenty years are all about a mission. We’ve become more sustainable on a planetary basis, developing personal economies . . . that are maybe a little bit more modest but mostly just more sustainable, greener, and so forth."

At some time or another, we all must change the way we think, act, respond, and, most of all, the way we view the world and  other people in it. It’s time to stop the thought patterns that keep you stuck, like "I know it won’t work." If that’s your belief, then it won’t. No excuses or reasons for not doing something, no matter how intricately thought out and expressed, can help you get what you want. Embracing challenge and change and turning them into opportunity is the solution.

The above is an excerpt from the book The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future by Lucinda Bassett. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.

Copyright © 2010 Lucinda Bassett, author of The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future.

Author Bio
Lucinda Bassett, author of The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future and President of the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety. is a nationally acclaimed motivational speaker and best-selling author. Her life-changing techniques have been shared with a variety of major corporations such as AT&T and McDonalds, and professional associations such as LPGA and the AIDS Foundation, as well as many educational institutions. She has appeared on hundreds of national radio and television programs including Oprah, The View, Live with Regis and Kelly, and Robert Schuller’s Hour of Power. Bassett and her emotional wellness solutions have been featured in a variety of high-profile publications including Health, Family Circle, Cosmopolitan, and even the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Photo by Zephyrance

Do you want to be luckier?

You can literally change your luck and experience a better life.  Scientists have found that luck is largely a result of behavior.

You can put away all the old superstitions about four-leaf clovers and other lucky charms.  These do nothing to help you.

What you need to do is embrace the behaviors that open the door to good luck.  If you do the things lucky people do, then you can start counting yourself as one of the lucky ones.

The Role Luck Plays in Our Lives

If you’ve ever read about the lives of highly successful people, they almost always attribute some of their good fortune to luck.  They feel a certain amount of serendipity helped them along their way.

Take for example, Sir Alexander Fleming’s discovery of penicillin.  Back in the early 1900s, Fleming was researching how to develop better antibiotics.  He had been looking at bacteria in flat petri dishes under a microscope to gain a better understanding of them.  He inadvertently left the lid off one dish and some mold fell into the dish.

By chance, the mold contained a substance that killed the bacteria in the dish.  When he noticed this, he worked hard to identify exactly what it was in the mold that did the job.  What he discovered was penicillin and it all happened because some mold luckily fell into the right petri dish.

Does good fortune like this happen to you?  Are you usually lucky or unlucky?

According to Dr. Richard Wiseman in The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles, it is possible to improve your luck and therefore live a better life.  He believes there are some simple things all of us can do to significantly increase the amount of luck we experience.

Four Simple Things You Can Do to Change Your Luck

I don’t believe in hocus pocus and neither does Dr. Wiseman.  He has found that lucky people exhibit certain attitudes and behaviors that lead to their good fortune.  If we do the right things, then we can increase the amount of luck in our lives.

Here are four things that you can do to change your luck for the better:

1.  Build and Maintain a “Network of Luck”

Dr. Wiseman maintains that the more people you meet, the greater your chance of encountering a positive opportunity.  It only stands to reason that you have to get out there and talk to people if you want to run into new and exciting breaks.  The more you do this, the greater the probability that you will meet someone that can help you along your path to success.

Lucky people are more likely to strike up a conversation with a total stranger in a coffee shop or at the train station.  This behavior of connecting with a wide-range of people often puts them in the right place at the right time.  If you want to experience more luck, then get out there and socialize with new people.  These are the folks that are going to help you find your undiscovered “chance” opportunities.

2.  Listen to Your Inner Voice

Most lucky people follow their intuition which more often than not guides them to exciting, fortuitous happenings.  On the other hand, unlucky people tend to ignore their gut feelings which generally leads to disaster.  It is better to trust your inner voice.  Most people have a very strong ability to accurately judge people and situations.  Lucky people are more in tune with this guiding light and benefit from its promptings.

To improve your ability to hear your inner voice, you should take time to think in quiet solitude.  Keep a notebook with you and write down the thoughts that occur to you about important situations in your life.  Reflect on these thoughts and follow their guidance.  You will find that this will help you to take advantage of opportunities that arise and avoid situations that can turn against you.

3.  Expect Good Things to Happen

Good things happen to those who expect it.  Lucky people are more optimistic about the future and their chances of succeeding.  In other words, just believing you are lucky will improve your luck.  You need to reaffirm in your mind that you are lucky.  One way to do this is to think back on your life and recall times when good fortune came your way.  Record these positive events and reflect on them regularly.  It will help you to be more confident and positive which naturally attracts good things to you.

You can also spend time daydreaming about lucky breaks you desire.  You want to condition your mind to believe that luck is on your side.  This will give you the confidence needed to act upon favorable circumstances when they arise.  This is a hallmark behavior of lucky people.

4.  Transform Bad Luck Into Good

Lucky people do not get discouraged when a little bad luck comes their way.  They tend to believe that, in the long run, things will turn out in their favor.  This ability to shrug off negative circumstances leaves lucky people open for their next big break.  Unlucky people tend to dwell on their bad luck believing this is just more evidence of how things never work out for them.

In order to improve your luck, it is important that you learn to look on the bright side of the events in your life.  One way lucky people do this is by practicing gratitude.  They look at how fortunate they’ve been in their life and convince themselves they are lucky things aren’t worse.  They have a way of finding the silver lining in every circumstance.  You may have a little bad luck going on, but there are always people worse off than you.  Believing and thinking this way makes you one of the lucky ones.

Change Your Attitude to Change Your Luck

As you can see, a lot of changing your luck is about changing your attitude.  How you view and process the events of your life has a lot to do with how lucky you are.  You need a positive, optimistic attitude that invites good fortune your way.  This will ensure you experience a better life.  A sourpuss is rarely going to attract the people and circumstances into their lives that lead to lucky breaks.  With just a little adjustment in how you view your life, you can make a big improvement in your luck.

Photo by kaibara87

Many people hate their jobs or are seriously bored with what they do at work on a daily basis.  This is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

As I mentioned in my last article a Lack of Engagement at Work Is Bad for You.  It carries many different risks that can really mess up your life.

Gallup says that two-thirds of American workers are “not engaged” or “disengaged”.  If you fall into this majority, then you should take action to correct the situation so you can live a more satisfying life.

See Being Disengaged as an Opportunity

It is easy to blame your employer, partners or even external factors such as the economy for your situation, but this important matter is one that you need to become responsible for and address.  Based on the negative impacts I detailed in my last post, you simply can’t continue ignoring the problem.  It is time to take the bull by the horns and make things better.

If you feel disengaged, then I’d suggest that you view this as an opportunity.

You might ask, “How is being disengaged at work an opportunity?”  Well, you are basically already at the bottom in terms of job satisfaction.  Therefore, you have nowhere to go but up.  This means that you have the opportunity to make changes with very little additional risk.  If you try something and it doesn’t work it isn’t really going to make you less happy, now is it?

Look at it this way, you are already risking your livelihood by being disengaged.  What more damage can you do?  Any change will likely be positive because it will give you a sense of control and enthusiasm that will almost surely turn things around.

Furthermore, you have the justification to change.  Having good justification is an opportunity.

Sometimes spouses, friends, partners and family members will resist change especially when it messes with their source of income.  But how can they argue when you let them read all the negative effects disengagement is having on your health, relationships and overall well-being?  It will certainly reduce their resistance if you present it correctly.

Here is this opportunity staring you right in the face.  What will you do with it?  Life is sending you a message.  It is time to respond.

What You Can Do About Your Disengagement at Work

Okay, you know the negative impact and you know that this is an opportunity to make some changes.  Now what do you do?  Well, I’m going to lean heavily on the advice offered by Douglas LaBier in Three Sources of Boredom in Today’s Workplace — And What Helps.  Here’s some of what Douglas suggests:

1.  Identify the Kind of Work that Engages You

Think about a past work experience where you felt very engaged.  What kind of work did it entail?  What were the challenges?  Did you work with a team or alone?  What specific things about that work did you find most satisfying?  Now think about your current situation.  What is lacking?  Is it your boss?  Is it your coworkers?  Is it the environment or the type of work?  Figuring out what makes you tick at work is the first step toward fixing the problem.

2.  Scope Out Opportunities

Once you have identified the kind of work that engages you, then look for opportunities at your present employer that are more stimulating for you.  Often, it is possible to carve out new responsibilities for yourself with a little initiative and extra effort.  Mold your job like Play Doh.  Craft it into something that you find more engaging.

3.  Talk It Out

Meet with your boss and explain that you are interested in getting involved in the type of work you identified above.  I wouldn’t tell them that you “feel bored” or “disengaged”.  I’d suggest putting it in more positive terms.  For example, say something like, “I’d like some new challenges.” or “I’m interested in growing in a new direction where I can make a greater contribution.”  Most bosses will appreciate this kind of interest.  If your boss isn’t open to the idea, then talk to someone in HR or another leader that you trust.

4.  Think Outside the Box

If you just can’t figure out a way to make your existing situation work, then look for another opportunity that is more engaging.  You might be able to find something in another department or you might have to move to a completely new employer.  Be patient and look for something that really excites you.  Of course, work is not the only place that you can apply your skills.  You can also consider things outside of work altogether such as volunteer opportunities, starting a micro-business or beginning a hobby.

Make Changes to Become More Engaged at Work

You simply cannot remain disengaged at work and expect to live a great life.  You’ve got to deal with this problem before it causes issues with your health, relationships and finances.  Apply the suggestions above and you’ll find yourself in a much better situation at work in no time.

 Photo by CarbonNYC

We can learn to completely avoid failure.  It sounds crazy, but it is true.

Why is this important?  Because you can’t live a safe life and experience all it has to offer.  It isn’t possible.  Period.  End of story.  So, what is holding us back?  Failure.  We are afraid we might fail so we live safe, boring lives.

In order to live life to the fullest, you’ve got to stick your neck out.  You’ve got to take some risks.  You’ve got to make yourself and those around you think you are crazy once in awhile.  You’ve got to push your own personal boundaries.  You’ve got to get away from what is normal for you.

Get the picture?

Normal and safe are places where failure seldom happens, but also where personal growth and a full life are as rare as a unicorn’s horn.  If you want to live a great life, then you’ve got to learn to eliminate failure as a possibility.

The Problem With Failure and When It Occurs

So, what’s the problem with failure?  Why are we so afraid of it?  Well, it is generally thought of as the opposite of success.  It is the circumstance where our efforts end producing less than what we expected in terms of results.

I’ve spent a good deal of my life fighting failure.  I hate to fail.  I’ve gone to some extreme lengths to keep myself clear of anything that even looks like it might fail.  This keeps me from trying new things which holds me back from the best life I can be living.

However, I think I’ve had the wrong idea about failure for a long time and I’d suggest that maybe you have too.  We shouldn’t be so afraid of failure because we can virtually eliminate it from our lives with the right understanding of it.

To begin to understand it, let’s examine when it occurs.  What constitutes a failure?  Please look at my original definition again.  I said, “It is the circumstance where our efforts end producing less than we expected in terms of results.”

All to often, we get to a low point and quit.  That low point only truly becomes a failure if it is the final stop in our journey.  If we quit, then we fail. 

Understanding Low Point Versus Failure

If we try something, get to a low point and then give up how is that going to lead to a better life?  It won’t, it can’t and it never will.  Your low point immediately becomes failure in the moment that you quit. 

We’ve got to press on to succeed.  We’ve got to start recognizing the difference between a low point and failure in order to eliminate failure from our lives and our minds.

We’ve become so afraid of failure that when we get to a low point, the hint that failure is a possibility, we simply give up because we don’t want to risk throwing anymore of our time, energy or resources into something that might fail.  Of course, by quitting we immediately seal the deal without giving ourselves another chance.

Again, what we usually accept as failure is really just a low point that we need to learn to move past.

These low points are just places we pass through on our way to where we want to go.  Some last longer than others and some are more stubborn than others, but we can get through them if we keep going.

We can’t let our fear of failure keep us from trying new things.  Instead, we have to learn to eliminate failure as a possibility because it severely limits our personal growth.

An Example of How This Inhibits Personal Growth

Another problem with failure is that we usually take it one step further to the extreme detriment of our personal growth.  When we quit, we decide then and there that we aren’t good at whatever we feebly tried and immediately dismiss it entirely for any further consideration in our lives.

Let me give you an example of how this usually goes.  Let’s say, I think I’d like to learn to draw.  I buy a book, read a little and then sit down to draw my first picture.  It looks like crap because unless I’m just unusually gifted, I can’t learn to draw in just one sitting. 

A friend or family member sees my crappy drawing and laughs.  Based on this one drawing, I give up, embarrassed at myself for trying something so ridiculous and decide right then and there that I can’t draw.  I then go forward in my life believing I can’t draw and never trying it again because I’ve already failed at it before.  After all, why would I risk embarrassing myself again?

Does this sound familiar?  What things have you decided based on a very limited amount of experience that you aren’t good at and that you should never try again?  This is yet another reason we need to eliminate failure as a possibility in our lives.

Three Ways to Eliminate Failure and Grow

Okay, so how do we start to eliminate failure from our lives?  I have three suggestions that I’d like to offer you that will get you heading down the right path.

Here are three ways to eliminate failure and open up to a whole new level of personal growth:

1.  Give Yourself Permission to be Crappy

Growing means trying something new.  Most of us are bad at things when we are beginners.  However, we won’t give ourselves permission to be crappy at first so we can learn to be good later.  Learning is a process.  One that involves making mistakes and learning from those mistakes to get better.  Our egos are often so fragile that we can’t bear to be bad at something long enough to learn enough to succeed at it.  Don’t quit and accept failure.  Instead, give yourself permission to be crappy!

Back to my drawing example for a moment, I should expect my first drawings to be crappy, but I should know that by continuing to draw and seeking instruction that I can get better.  Quitting is the only sure path to failure.  If we refuse to quit, then we eliminate failure from our lives.  We can’t let our initial crappiness deter us from continuing toward later success.

As adults, we are particularly bad at letting ourselves be crappy.  It doesn’t matter if it is drawing, bowling, dating, gardening, investing, blogging or running a business.  We have to allow ourselves time to move through the crappy stage in order to learn enough to succeed.

2.  Recognize Low Points as Learning Opportunities

When you reach a low point, the place where you think you’re never going to get it and that you’ve made too many mistakes to recover, stop and re-evaluate your approach.  You may need to come at your goal from a whole new angle or you may need to seek to fulfill your goal in a different way.

Let’s say you want to publish a book.  You’ve written a book and you have submitted it to numerous publishers with no success.  You want to quit because you are discouraged, but instead what if you sought input and rewrote the book to make it more marketable?  Or what if you self-published the book and sold it on your own blog site?  With a little success, you might be able to sell that book to a publisher or write another that a publisher would accept.  Learn from your low points and try a new approach to find success and eliminate failure.

3.  Revisit What You Think You’re No Good At

I’d encourage you to make a list of the things that you think you’re no good at.  The things where you’ve failed in the past.  I’d suggest to you that at one time you had a desire to try these things and there’s a good chance you’d still like to do them.  You just don’t think you can.  Why not challenge that assumption?

You can resurrect a past failure and eliminate it from your life by making it a success now.  Give yourself another chance armed with the understanding that you need to allow yourself time to be crappy and that low points are learning opportunities.  I think you might find you really can do a lot more than you think.

Isn’t the thought that you can fix an old failure exciting?  After all, if you can do these things, then what else can you do?  You can do anything because failure is no longer a possibility for you!

Eliminate Failure for a Truly Fantastic Life

Failure only happens when you quit.  You may experience several low points along the path to success, but as long as you don’t give up, then you can still pull out a win.  It might not look exactly like you envisioned in the beginning, but that’s okay.  Life requires flexibility.  Wrap your mind around the ideas I’ve presented here and you will eliminate failure as a possibility and live a truly fantastic life!

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Fairy tales are just that fairy tales!  They are fictional stories with “fairy tale endings” and “fairy tale romances”. 

I hate to burst your bubble, but these are extremely rare in real life.  Even when they do seem to be coming true, the fairy tale often dissolves right before our very eyes.

When it comes to trying to live life to its fullest, I think waiting or hoping for our lives to play out like fairy tales is a dangerous trap.  One that can cost us dearly!

The danger in waiting for a fairy tale life

You can waste your life waiting for a fairy tale.  Life does not have to be perfect to be very enjoyable.  Living life to the fullest is not about living life perfectly.  It is about making the most out of every day living.

When you keep waiting for the ideal fairy tale situation to arrive, you let a lot of great things pass you by in the process.  The one thing we can’t make more of is time.  Once time has slipped away it is gone and it cannot be recovered.

You have to go out and make the best of every circumstance in your life by investing yourself fully in it.  This is a much better approach than waiting and waiting for the ideal situation that is likely never to arrive.

Three ways we waste our lives waiting for a fairy tale

There are a number of circumstances where we might waste our lives waiting for the ideal situation.  Here are a few common ones:

1.  Waiting for the fairy tale spouse

This can happen in one of two ways.  First, if we aren’t already married, we may be waiting for the perfect Prince Charming or the matchless Miss Right.  Second, if we are married, we may be waiting and hoping our existing spouse will magically mutate into the fairy tale spouse we always dreamed we’d have.

Both of these are dangerous.  People are not perfect therefore it is impossible to find or change someone into the perfect spouse.  Waiting for one to appear  is a complete waste.  Marrying carefully is important, but your spouse does not have to be perfect to love you and be loved by you.

Sharing the ups and downs of life with a spouse is how you build something truly valuable and worth having.  Accepting them with all their strengths and weaknesses is what true love is all about.  Stop waiting and start living!

2.  Waiting for the fairy tale job

People often fail to fully apply themselves to their current position because they don’t like some little thing about the company or their boss or the specific position.  They think if this or that were different they would more fully commit themselves.

This holding back keeps them from achieving all that is possible.  It is a waste!  Again, perfect situations are rare.  However, superstars often work themselves into better situations.  Those that hold back get labeled as mediocre and listless.

The best way to improve your situation on the job is to shine in the position you have right now.  Get noticed!  Stand out from the crowd!  Do more than what is expected and you might get more than you expect in return!

3.  Waiting for the fairy tale opportunity

What is it that you’ve always wanted to do?  Maybe you wanted to start a business or go on your dream vacation or move to the other side of the world.  Whatever “it” is, why are you waiting?!?  It is highly unlikely that things will ever be perfectly right!

We often waste our lives waiting for the ideal opportunity to do the big things in our lives.  However, most of the time, the fairy tale moment we keep waiting for never arrives.  That’s because we live in the real world that is imperfect and continually changing.

Yes, timing is a factor in success, but more importantly success requires us to take action!  Nothing ever happens without someone accepting the risk, stepping out and making their dream come true.  Stop waiting for the fairy tale opportunity to do what you’ve always wanted to do!

Don’t wait for the fairy tale!  Make the best of the life you have!

Instead of continuing to wait for the fairy tale, I say go for it!  Yes, it will likely be messy.  Yes, problems will arise.  Yes, things could get a little scary.  However, the potential payoff is huge!  Once you start really living, all kinds of great things can happen to you.  So, I say dig in, take a chance and you might really live happily ever after!

Photo by PrincessAshley

Living life to the fullest requires one to take risks.  I believe you have to have an entrepreneurial spirit in order to seize every good opportunity that comes your way.

However, you also have to be very discerning because not every door that opens is one that you want to walk through.  This is how people lose their shirts!

When your ship pulls up at your door, will you recognize it and get onboard fearlessly?  This is smart living at its best!

What is an entrepreneurial spirit?

An entrepreneur is a person that:

• Sees opportunity where no one else can
• Takes risks where no one else will
• Experiences success where no one else does

Entrepreneurship is generally associated with business.  An entrepreneurial spirit is an attitude that takes these same abilities and applies them more broadly in life.

It is about seeing the possibility for something great when everyone else is blinded by fear.

Having your eyes open in this way and creatively seeking new possibilities is an absolutely awesome way to live!

My smart living confession: I don’t like to take risks!

I have to admit that this is one of the rules that I still struggle with sometimes.  I’m pretty conservative by nature and I have to really push myself to take big risks.

Despite this, I have ventured into starting my own business and have made several major life changes over the last couple of decades.

I am especially hesitant if the risk involves money or relationships.  I don’t like to lose money and I can be fairly introverted around people I don’t know.

I realize my risk avoidance sometimes impedes my own smart living, but it is hard to overcome.  I really have to force myself to step out of my comfort zone in these two areas.

Regarding money, I come up with business ideas, but then become hesitant to pursue them because of the initial investment that’s involved.  I know that startups are risky and the thought of several thousand dollars evaporating before my eyes is quite honestly paralyzing at times.  I hate to have to admit this, but it is true.

When it comes to socializing, networking and relationship building, I can be pretty timid in this area as well.  I know that good opportunities often come as a result of who you know, but I hate to ask people for things.  I don’t know if it is fear of rejection, lack of social confidence or something else, but it haunts me.

Of course, acknowledging my hesitancy in these areas helps because I know I have to take specific steps to pursue good opportunities when they arise.  I’ve found the best way to overcome my limitations in this area is to just power my way through it.

I take risks in these areas despite my fear because I know it is a part of smart living!

How I evaluate risks to pursue good opportunities

Given my reluctance to take risks in certain areas, I have to have a good system for evaluating risks so I can decide when to really push myself.

Recognizing a good opportunity from a bad one is paramount to living life to the fullest.

Having a decision-making system for evaluating risk is priceless.  It takes a lot of the emotion out of the process which helps me to control my fear.

Here are the steps that I go through to identify good opportunities:

1.  I ask myself some tough questions about the opportunity

I have found these 10 questions to be very effective in helping me to sort out good opportunities from passing fads.  They have saved me from going down what would have surely turned out to be some tragic mistakes.

2.  I employ time-tested strategies for making the right decision

I use six strategies to help me make the right decision.  This technique has proven effective in my personal and professional life.  Using these same strategies for decision-making keeps things consistent and on an even keel.

3.  I get the opinion of others that I trust

I always run ideas past my wife and others whose opinion I value and trust before I pursue a risky venture.  I also ask myself what people like Dave Ramsey would do.  This helps me collect valuable insights that I might have otherwise missed.

Once I’ve completed these three simple steps.  I usually have a very clear picture of whether an opportunity is a good one or not.  The trick then is to go with what I know is right!

Assignment: Develop an entrepreneurial spirit

Here is your homework to start putting this rule for smart living to work!  These steps will help you to start exploring good opportunities as they arise.

1. Pinpoint your reluctance – As I mentioned earlier, it is important to recognize what causes you to hesitate when good opportunities arise so you can devise strategies to overcome it.  We can master our fear if we are aware of how it limits us.  Read these articles to help become honest with yourself about your hesitancy.

   Cure Your Fear To Get The Most Out of Life!
   Five Great Ways to Conquer Your Fears
   Inferiority Complex- Toss Out Feelings of Insignificance

2. Teach yourself to accept risk – Start small, but find some things that you consider to be risky and do them.  Ask your boss for a raise or go on a spur of the moment vacation or start a blog!  Facing the unknown is the beginning of developing an entrepreneurial spirit.  Try this and you are likely to find a new sense of excitement and control in your life!
3. Embrace the entrepreneurial spirit – Find someone with an entrepreneurial spirit to look up to and follow their lead.  For me, having one or more role models is very helpful.  It emboldens me and let’s me see that risk really does pay off!

Smart living means pursuing good opportunities fearlessly!

I’m not there yet, but I know that accepting risk and pursuing good opportunities is a powerful and essential part of smart living.  It is one of the rules that I will continue to explore for myself. 

What advice can you offer to help?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

Follow this link to discover all the rules for Smart Living.

Photo by FreeWine

Striving for excellence is an essential part of smart living.  Why?  Because, in life, you reap what you sow.  It is a basic law.  You can’t plant weeds and expect corn to grow.

When we put our best foot forward in everything we do, then life rewards us accordingly.  It may not be immediate or exactly what we expected, but I am convinced that striving for excellence gets you a lot further than the alternative.

If you do what successful people do, then you will achieve success.  This is smart living.  On the other hand, if the results you are getting in your life are less than satisfactory, then you know you need to make a change.  Sow excellence and you will reap excellent results!

What does striving for excellence look like?

Excellence exceeds people’s expectations.  In a world of mediocrity, excellence makes you stand out in the crowd.  It is putting your best foot forward in all that you do.  Excellence is evident in the fruit it produces.

Look at your life.  What results are you getting?  As I stated above, you get back exactly what you put in.  Are you planting weeds or corn?

Think about the results you are producing in the following arenas of your life:

• Your marriage
• Your children
• Your career
• Your friendships
• Your physical health
• Your spiritual life

Are you getting the results you want and desire in each of these?  You might be planting corn in one place, but weeds in another.

What if I were to look at your home or your desk?  Would it be self-evident that you strive for excellence in all you do?  Is it time to clean up a few areas of your life?

Have the common excuses for not pursuing excellence become a trap for you in your life?  Don’t let them continue to rob you of the success and superior results that you desire!

Strive for excellence and the world will become your oyster!  You can begin to strive for excellence in all these areas starting today!

A pitfall to avoid on your path to excellence

I’d like to offer one word of caution before we look at some ways to get started striving for excellence.  There is a trap that you can fall into if you aren’t careful while pursuing excellence.

The trap is called perfection.

Perfectionism is an evil mutation of striving for excellence.  A perfectionist is often a control freak that clubs people over the head trying to reach some flawless ideal in details that often don’t even matter.  They are focused on the external without regard for how much they hurt others along their path to getting what they want.

In striving for excellence, there is a balance.  Yes, I want to do things the right way, but not at the expense of all the people around me including myself.  There is a point where things are “good enough” because the work required to produce better isn’t worth the toll it would take upon me and the others in my life.

If you think you might be a perfectionist or a control freak (they are usually one in the same really), then read my article about becoming a control freak to see if it fits.  If so, then stop it!

Assignment: Start striving for excellence in life today!

In each of my rules for smart living, I am outlining some assignments to help you get started.  These are practical things that you can do to help yourself start practicing what I preach!

Here are the smart living assignments for this rule:

1.  Learn more about how to strive for excellence in your life

If you’ve read this far, then you are probably the kind of person that really wants to put excellence to work in your life.  I congratulate you!  The vast majority of people have long since moved on to easier reading.

You are likely already a top achiever that wants even more out of life.  That’s great!  Let me offer you some additional material on striving for excellence that will help you reach even higher.

Here are four other articles I wrote on striving for excellence.  I think you will find them useful:

• Striving for Excellence
• Gaining Perspective Helps to Achieve Excellence in Life
• Striving for Excellence: Quotes That Will Guide and Inspire
• Striving for Excellence: Quotes You Should Live By

I really believe there is some fantastic value in reading each of these articles.  They will fire you up about seeking excellence in your life!

2.  Make a plan to start striving for excellence

Do you agree with me that striving for excellence is smart living?  If so, then why not take action to start having a more excellent life today?  Here is some guidance to help you get started!

1. Identify the opportunities to improve- Think about the people in your life (your spouse, your children, your boss, etc.) as customers.  Who do you need to start serving in a more excellent manner to improve your life and theirs?
2. Define what excellence looks like- Once you’ve listed the people in your life that you need to serve with excellence, then talk to them and find out what they want or need from you.  Build a clear picture of what it would take to exceed their expectations!
3. Start taking steps toward your vision – Make a list of the specific things you can start doing today to achieve excellence based on the input you receive from your talks.  Take action and live an excellent life!  People will notice.

Make striving for excellence in all you do a habit.  Let people know that they can count on you for a job well done and a live well-lived!

Striving for excellence will get you on the path to smart living!

Start sowing excellence and the harvest you reap will increase tenfold!  You will experience increases and windfalls in your life greater than you ever expected.  Let excellence spill over into every area of your life.  No matter how messed up or hopeless the situation may seem, striving for excellence will turn things around!

Follow this link to discover all the rules for Smart Living.

Photo by Noël Zia Lee