The approach you choose is very important.  There are a couple of ways that seem right at first, but they lead to dead-ends.

This is where Super-Charged Living stands out.  It creates a great life that has staying power.  It leads to a lasting joy and significance that is satisfying.

For me, Super-Charged Living is a journey.  It is an adventure.  One where I’m constantly fine-tuning my course to ensure I’m getting the absolute most from life.

The other day I heard some terms mentioned and contrasted that helped me clarify my mental picture of Super-Charged Living even further.

Let’s Look at Being Selfish, Selfless and Self-Invested

As you might have guessed, the three terms discussed were selfish, selfless and self-invested.  They were being talked about in a totally different context than living life to the fullest, but it struck me that they have a lot of importance here as well.

Selfish and selfless characterize a couple of common approaches to living a full life.  However, I would argue that these are not sustainable paths and in the end leave people wondering where they went wrong.  Let me unpack the two a little so you can see what I mean.

The Selfish Approach to Living Life to the Fullest

The image that comes to my mind when I think about the selfish approach to living life to the fullest is the jet set lifestyle.  This is the “its all about me” approach.  People living this way journey through life seeking pleasure.  They have a great time partying and living it up.

They spontaneously chase after whatever makes them feel good.  They believe the best life is living in the here and now.  They ask, “Why put off until tomorrow what you can enjoy today?”  They live for the moment with very little concern or worry for the future.

At first, this can seem like an appealing way to live.  It is carefree, adventurous and fun.  It is an escape from the day-to-day hassles we all deal with.  However, it also has its costs.  Throwing responsibility and the ties that bind to the wind may seem freeing at first, but it can backfire.

The disadvantages of the selfish approach:

• Self-centeredness ruins relationships which often leads to loneliness and regret later in life
• Takes lots of money to sustain which generally leads to piles of debt and financial issues
• Fast living takes its toll on the body which leaves one with chronic health issues
• Left with nothing to show for years of living and end up realizing it was chasing after the wind

Generally, these people blame others for bad outcomes in their life.  When people try to speak correction or guidance into their lives, they dismiss the wise as sticks in the mud.

All in all, a selfish approach to living life to the fullest may seem fun for awhile, but it will likely lead to a life of loneliness, regret and boring “glory day” stories.

The Selfless Approach to Living Life to the Fullest

At the other end of the spectrum is the selfless approach.  This avenue is probably less common, but still pursued by some.  In it, people put everyone else’s needs above theirs.  They are the consummate servants.

The selfless ones are generally pursuing significance.  They feel the best way to have a life of meaning and purpose is to do all that you can for others.  They throw themselves into the cause of their choice with passion.  You really want these people on your side because they are absolutely tireless.

You often find these people hanging around churches, charities and other humanitarian efforts.  They give until it hurts literally.  They can never say no and over time this begins to take its toll.

The disadvantages of the selfless approach:

• Selflessness leads to burnout and disillusionment
• Often ruins relationships because the individual is never available or invested
• Gives away all their money helping their cause and usually winds up broke and in debt
• Winds up with health issues because they never take time to care for themselves

Ultimately, these people often wind up blaming the organizations they serve for using them up and burning them out.  They leave with a bad taste in their mouths running away to sulk and put salve on their wounds.

Did you notice that both the selfish and selfless approaches to living life to the fullest have basically the same disadvantages? 

They are different paths to the same empty, lonely, powerless and joyless place.

The Self-Invested Approach to Living Life to the Fullest

This leads us to the self-invested approach to living life to the fullest.  This is where Super-Charged Living excels because it employs a long-term perspective.  I am convinced it is the best approach for regular people with real lives.

Investing is the act of committing something (time, money, energy, effort) toward an objective with the expectation of a profit or worthwhile result.  Self-investing then is putting in adequate time and effort to better one’s self to the point where you can expect a better life as a result.

The self-invested person realizes that all facets of life are interconnected.  You can’t live life to the fullest while failing at relationships or finances or finding purpose or healthy living.  If you do, then you are living below what is possible.

You learn to say no to some things in order to say yes to even better things.  In other words, the self-invested person sets boundaries.  For example, they know that relationships are important and that you can’t really give to others effectively when your cup is empty.

The ADVANTAGES of self-invested living are:

• It is sustainable over an entire lifetime
• It nurtures and encourages deep, meaningful relationships
• It builds a person up instead of tearing them down
• It is fun, rewarding and exciting without being irresponsible

Super-Charged Living is self-invested living.  It is taking care of yourself and what you have so you can maximize your effectiveness for others.  It is the best life possible!

Choose to Be Self-Invested for a Great Life

There are truly big differences between being selfish, selfless and self-invested.  Which will you choose?  If you are interested in living life to the absolute fullest, then please stick around and learn more about Super-Charged Living. 

How have your experienced selfish, selfless and self-invested living?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

Photo by Mr.Thomas

Yes, I may get what I want in the short-term, but in the long run, I make a big withdrawal from the emotional bank account of my loved ones.  I really want to stop being selfish!

Ways to become more generous and stop being selfish

I have been blessed with health and abundance in my life.  However, the unflattering thing is, I usually want to keep it all for myself.  This is really the definition of selfishness.  What can I do about my tendency to put my desires first?

1.  Give sacrificially to stop being selfish

Overcoming selfishness is mostly about changing a habit.  When we push our comfort zone, it makes us squirm.  This is how we know that we are venturing outside our normal habit and starting to make progress.  Therefore, if we want to stop being selfish, we must give sacrificially.

What does it mean to give sacrificially?  It means to give until it hurts or at least until it feels like we are giving too much.  If the amount of time or money that we are giving doesn’t feel uncomfortable, then it isn’t enough.  Give an amount that makes you give up something that you really want.

This will be difficult at first, but it will get easier as you stretch your muscles of generosity and giving.

2.  Perform simple acts of kindness

A simple act of kindness might be paying for the next person’s coffee in line behind us.  It might be doing the dishes while your wife is busy with something else.  It could be shoveling a neighbor’s walk.  Acts of kindness are intentional efforts we make to brighten someone else’s day.

Again, we are pushing ourselves to form a new habit.  This is likely to feel awkward at first.  I’d probably feel a little embarrassed and worried about how the other person might receive my act of kindness.  However, from what little experience I have in this area, I have found that most people are initially shocked, but quickly become very thankful.

Simple acts of kindness break the routine of selfishness.  They get us started thinking about the needs of others.

3.  Forgive someone without being asked

Giving forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do.  That’s why it is a great way to practice in our effort to beat selfishness.  Again, we are trying to stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zone.  Don’t wait for an apology to offer your forgiveness!  Do it before you are even asked.  This will take you to new heights of selflessness!

Unforgiveness hardens in our hearts to become bitterness and resentment.  It is explosive fuel for selfishness.  It will blind us to the needs of others and consume our lives.  It is imperative that we let go of any perceived wrongs and release the other person if we ever want to be well again.

Offering forgiveness is the ultimate act of generosity and giving!

4.  Honor your vows

A vow is a solemn promise or personal commitment.  When we hear the word, we most often think of the vows we made at the marriage altar.  Of course, there are other vows we have made that might not be as explicit, but are just as meaningful.  A couple of examples include our commitment to raising our children and our promise to give an honest days work to our employer.

It is difficult to fulfill the intent of our vows if we are consumed with selfishness.  Honoring our commitments takes personal sacrifice.  It means from time-to-time we have to put aside our desires for the best interest of our relationship. 

Doing this consistently is the hallmark of a good husband, father and employee!

5.  Make “it” happen for someone else!

Selfish tendencies keep us focused on our own ambition.  Of course, those around us also have goals and dreams.  Find out what others want and help them get it.  The further out of your way that you have to go to help, the better.

Often we can make a BIG difference in the lives of others without even trying too hard.  All we need to do is train ourselves to become more aware.  The irony is that the more you help others the faster you will get what you want.  Of course, don’t let this be your motive or it will ruin everything.

Make “it” happen for someone else to break your selfish tunnel vision.

It only takes practice to break the habit of selfishness

“Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.” ~Mother Teresa

Unless you are Mother Teresa, it is likely that you are like me and can use some practice to stop being selfish.  I am really going to work on this.  Hopefully, if I focus on the things above I’ll see a noticeable improvement.   Loving people in an unselfish way is the beginning of living life to the fullest!

Do you ever struggle with selfishness?  How do you overcome it?

Photo by inhisgrace