Are you focused on the right things in your life?

You have to look at what I think are two distinct snapshots of your life to answer this question. 

You have to weigh the big picture versus the little picture to get an accurate account of where you stand.

I’ll get to how I distinguish these two aspects of life, but I can say right now that it is very important to be winning in the big picture.  If you fail in the things that fall into this part of your life, then you are seriously missing the boat.

How the Big Picture Differs From the Little Picture

In life, I think you can separate things into two discrete buckets.  You’ve got the big picture and the little picture.

All too often, we get tunnel vision on the things that fall into the little picture.  This usually creates significant problems.  Often ones that we don’t notice until it is too late.  That’s why it is so important to pull-up once in awhile and evaluate how you are doing in the big picture.

So, what falls into this big picture that is so important?

Well, first let’s talk about what I think goes into the little picture that we get so obsessed with.

The little picture contains things like how much notoriety we’ve achieved in our careers, whether we drive a Lexus or not and whether our home is in the “right” neighborhood.

The little picture is mostly superficial.  It is surface-level stuff.  It seems really important at times and it can consume a large portion of your attention, but in the end, it has very little true value.  I mean if you were lying on your deathbed right now, do you think you’d give a lick about your career or what kind of car you’ve got parked in the driveway?  I doubt it.

When we are confronted with our mortality, it usually brings the big picture back into crystal-clear focus for us.  However, I think we can give ourselves a much needed reality-check without the drama of a near-death experience.

Give Yourself a Big Picture Check-up

Okay, let me help you answer the question I posed at the beginning of this article about whether or not you are focused on the right things in your life.  I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately for myself so please indulge me why I give you the big picture check-up that I’ve been using personally.

This list isn’t very long because the really important things in life are much fewer in number than all the stuff that falls into the cluttered little picture. 

Here are the crucial things that are a part of the big picture that you need to focus on:

1.  Your Health

I put health first on this short list because most everything else hinges on it.  If you aren’t doing what keeps you healthy, then not much else matters.  Once your health starts slipping, then your options in life quickly become very limited.  Who cares what else you are doing if you are going to be too sick to enjoy it?  In the big picture, you’ve got to take care of your health first.

Here are some pointed questions to help you evaluate the priority you’re giving your health:

• Do you smoke?
• Are you overweight?
• Do you exercise regularly?
• When was the last time you got a check-up?
• Do you already have health issues caused by poor choices?
• Are you sleeping eight hours a night?
• How’s your stress level?

In the big picture, taking care of yourself has to be at the top of the list.  You can push yourself for brief periods physically, but if you consistently make the wrong choices, then you are jeopardizing everything.

2.  Your Relationships

Little else matters if your key relationships in life fall apart due to bad behavior and neglect.  How would the people in your life say you are doing?  I’m talking about your spouse, your kids, your family, and your friends.  How would they answer the following:

• Are you giving them the love, affection and attention they want and deserve? 
• Do you demonstrate through your actions how important they are to you? 
• Do you treat the relationship like a rare and valuable treasure?
• Does your schedule reflect your true feelings toward them?

If not, then it is time to make some adjustments.  I want to emphasize that you can’t answer these questions yourself.  You need to know their perspective because that’s all that really matters.  You can be convinced you were doing all the right things and still find yourself standing out in the cold, alone and miserable.  How they feel about your performance is all that matters.

In the big picture, at the end of your life, how your relationships turn out is going to mean a lot more to you than how much money you made, where you lived or how many vacations you went on.  You simply cannot make up for lost time later.  You’ve got to invest now to keep this ultimately important area of your life alive and well.

3.  Your Spiritual Life

Finally, I believe the quality of your spiritual life rounds out the crucial elements of the big picture.  Each of us needs to feel our life has meaning and purpose.  You’ve got to take the time to explore spirituality for yourself to decide what you believe.  It is easy to fly through life on fast-forward never really giving this enough thought.  I think that’s a big mistake.  One that can leave you feeling empty and lost. 

Without an active spiritual life, a piece of your internal puzzle is missing.  This can leave you feeling hollow and wondering what life is all about.  Have you felt that something big is missing from your life?  If so, then you probably need to spend some time reexamining your spiritual beliefs.

A well-founded spiritual life provides you with a moral compass.  It provides a framework to guide you in making decisions on how to live and behave.  Furthermore, a strong faith can be a bedrock you can depend upon in times of trial and hardship.  In the big picture, knowing what you believe and living according to your faith is indispensible.

How are you doing in the big picture?  Are you focused on the right things?  In what area of the big picture do you need to devote more of your time and energy?  Leave a comment on this post and let me know.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

We have to develop good habits to build our faith.  My faith adds meaning, purpose and significance to my life which are all powerful components of living life to the fullest. 

So, how can we cultivate a deeper spiritual connection in a world that doesn’t seem to lend itself to such?

It has to be an intentional pursuit.  It has to be something we seek on a continual basis.  We have to develop good habits for our faith to flourish.

Why does it have to be so intentional?  Because the world seems to want to crowd out this part of our lives. 

Regular people have a lot going on and if we don’t incorporate these good habits for faith into our daily routines, then we’ll wake up one morning and realize our spiritual lives have all but disappeared.

Making Good Habits for Faith a Priority

When I think about developing good habits for faith, the story Stephen Covey tells in his “Putting First Things First” chapter of The Seven Habits for Highly Effective People comes to my mind.  I can’t remember the whole story, but I do recall the following about it:

Some people are given a jar, some sand, some gravel and some larger rocks.  They are instructed to get as much of the material into the jar as possible.  On their first attempt, they put the sand and gravel in the jar first.  But they soon find that once they do this, the jar is too full for much of the bigger rocks to fit.  It is only when they put the big rocks in first, pour in the gravel second so it can fill in the gaps between the bigger rocks and then put the sand in last to fill whatever space is left that they get the most into the jar.

 

This is the way it is with our spiritual lives.  If we try to squeeze our spirituality into whatever time is leftover after we work, take care of the kids and mow the grass, then it just doesn’t fit.  We have to make these habits our first priority.  If we want to really grow our faith, we must put this big priority on our schedule before all the other little things that fill our time so quickly and easily .

Once we’ve establish the proper priority, then we can move on to living out the habits for faith.

7 Good Habits for Faith Building

The following intentional activities will prepare the soil of our hearts and minds for our faith to grow just like a farmer prepares a field before he plants.  If we make these activities a regular part of our daily lives, then we will surely harvest a deeper, more lasting faith.

Here are the seven good habits for faith building:

1.  Solitude

We live in a noisy, hurried world.  There is always something that “needs” to be done.  However, faith usually seems to grow best in the small, quiet moments.  We need to get alone with our faith so we can get in touch with our spiritual side.  Make a habit of practicing solitude for 15 to 30 minutes a day to contemplate and pray.  If you are unaccustomed to solitude, then it will likely be hard for you at first.  However, if you stick with it, this will likely become your favorite part of the day.

2.  Meditate

Meditation is simply a time of focused thought on a deep and meaningful topic.  It is a perfect thing to do during your time of solitude.  You can begin by clearing your mind and relaxing your body.  Try to calm the noise of spurious thoughts in your head.  Spend this small fraction of your day directing your thoughts inward and towards your faith.  Listen for insights that almost always seem to arise as you make room for your faith during quiet meditation.

3.  Study

Invest a little time in your faith to learn more about it.  Read, go to a class or participate in a discussion that will help you to go a little deeper.  I’d encourage you to really investigate your faith.  Challenge your preconceived or long-standing notions.  Push the boundaries during your study time of what is commonly accepted about your faith.  This is where you’ll often find renewed belief and greater understanding.  Sink your teeth into your faith and you’ll enjoy some real nourishment.

4.  Worship

Express your devotion to your faith during a time of worship.  You may prefer to worship with a lot of other people or by yourself.  It doesn’t matter.  It is really just what suits you best.  What does matter is your ability to let go of your inhibitions and let your heart soar with adoration.  Worship is a time of expanding.  Let your heart grow so it can hold even more faith.  You can dance or stand with your head bowed.  Worship is not a specific act.  It is letting yourself go to experience the joy and love within your faith.

5.  Service

Set aside some time on a regular basis to serve someone else as an act of faith.  Do something that helps people and requires you to sacrifice some time, energy and resources.  This will stretch you.  It is where the rubber meets the road in faith.  Giving of yourself to a worthy cause will not only benefit that cause, but you will also reap a reward.  The greater your service, the more you’ll grow.  I challenge you to give it a try and see if I’m right.

6.  Gather

Make it a habit to get together with other like-minded people on a weekly basis.  You can spend this time learning, worshipping, serving or just being together.  It doesn’t matter so much what you do, it is just the act of gathering together that is helpful.  I always grow in faith when I observe others expressing their faith.  I also grow from the sense of community and unity I feel when I’m around others that have the same faith as me.  This is a great habit to cultivate.

7.  Rituals

Rituals or religious traditions often get a bad rap.  They are thought of as old-fashioned and a symbol of a puritanical authority that we often reject.  However, I think that when practiced wisely, rituals are a pathway to a greater faith.  They are rooted in a rich history and are often loaded with abundant meaning.  Explore some of the old rituals to see if one is right for you.  You might just discover a whole new habit that can take you deeper than ever before!

What good habits for faith would you add to this list?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

Photo by superbez

I’ve been writing a lot lately about money, but the accumulation of wealth can be a false yardstick for success.  As we’ve seen in our economy, money comes and goes.

True happiness or joy in life needs to be built on a more solid foundation.

How we judge success really does determine our happiness.  Picking the right things will give us a sense of contentment, joy and peace regardless of circumstances.

False measures of success will steal our happiness

Often we get distracted pursuing things that ultimately don’t matter.  Yes, it is fun to have nice things, but you can’t let yourself build a life on what is temporary.

Let me expand on this by naming a few of the false measures of success and explaining how they are shaky ground for true happiness.

1.  Job, career, business

Work consumes a good portion of our lives.  It is therefore very easy for it to become the measure of our success. 

It doesn’t matter whether you work for yourself or for someone else, your current situation is subject to change.  Look at all the layoffs and business closings that have occurred lately.

If your measure of success is based on your title, earnings or the fact that you own your own business, then you might want to reexamine your life just a bit.

I’ve learned time and again that these situations change in the blink of an eye.  No matter how secure you think your work situation is, it can disintegrate without notice.

Men especially seem predisposed to getting a lot of their self-worth from what they do for a living.  Yes, work can be satisfying and provide some significance, but we need to be sure it isn’t all we live for.

2.  Money

Money cannot buy joy and contentment.  It just opens up your options.  There are plenty of rich people that are miserable.  Happiness is a choice.

Nevertheless, many people want others to think they are rich whether they really are or not.  I guess they believe it makes them look successful.

They live over-inflated lifestyles supported by credit cards and other forms of debt.  However, contrary to popular belief (and the commercials) the truly priceless moments in life cannot be bought.

Money is fickle.  As I mentioned above, it comes and goes.  How many times has Donald Trump been broke?

Believing that you will be happy when you make or save more money is a fallacy.

3.  Possessions

We often seem to think that we will be happy when we get a bigger house, a nicer car or new furniture.

Yes, these things do sometimes make us giddy for a bit, but once the newness wears off, then we have to buy something else to renew the high.

There will always be something to buy and someone else will always have something a little better or newer or fancier than you.

Most of us eventually realize that while possessions are nice to have, they are not a source of true happiness.

Don’t measure your success by your toys!

4.  Social status

I have a harder time relating to this one.  My social needs are pretty modest, but I know there are many individuals that measure their success by their number of contacts.

Of course, there are many of life’s circumstances that effect how others feel about us.  Public opinion can turn on a dime.

Relationships can change based on marital status, job changes, financial means or a myriad of other factors.  Popularity in the eyes of our acquaintances and colleagues can fade quickly.

A better way to judge success and be happy

There is a better way to be happy rather than relying on temporary, external measures of success.

Here are my suggestions:

1.  Choose happiness and success

First and foremost, I believe that if you want to be happy and successful, then you have decide to be.  You have to make it happen for yourself.

Happiness in life really is a choice.  It is all in the way we arrange our thoughts.

What lens are you going to use to see your life through?  You get to pick.

Make the best of what is offered to you.  Choose to see things in a positive light.  Choose to have a good attitude and better things will come your way.

Your life is usually going to measure up to your expectations.  Expect less and you’ll get less. 

Demand more from life by positively applying the talents and resources you have and you’ll find yourself getting ahead.

2.  Focus on the love you give and receive

True success is really about the relationships we build and nurture along the way.  Love is what makes life meaningful.

Most often when you read a story about someone with a terminal disease, where to they turn their focus during the last days of their lives?

Let me give you a hint, they generally don’t start working more hours or buy more possessions.

Dying people want to spend quality time with their loved ones.  Why wait until your days are numbered to do this?

Start loving more deeply today!  Measure your success by the love you give and receive.

3.  Give and help those that you can

One of the reasons that I want to be more financially successful is so I can give more.  I believe you have to be generous to truly prosper.

The more you give, the more you get in return.  Life is just richer and more fulfilling when you donate your time, expertise and money to help others.

Have you ever considered judging your success by how much you are willing to give?

I’m not talking about just charitable giving either.  Give your all at work.  Don’t be greedy.  Do a pro bono job once in awhile when someone really needs it.

Giving of yourself is a great way to open up a whole new avenue to happiness in your life.  You will likely find a deep fountain of fulfillment that you never knew existed!

4.  Tap into your spiritual side

I believe there is more to us than just flesh and bone.  Get in touch with your spiritual side.

If you have never explored this aspect of life, then now is a great time to do it.  Go find out what you believe.

You have a lot more to offer than what you might imagine.  Discovering and deepening your spiritual connection is essential to being truly successful in life.

There will always be a hole in your heart until you resolve this for yourself.  This is where the marrow of life truly exists.

Turn success and happiness into contentment and joy

Ultimately, when you pursue the right things in life, your feelings of success and happiness will turn into true contentment and joy.

You will be satisfied.  You will cease always longing for things that are temporary and inferior.  You will be wise enough to avoid common pitfalls that steal our joy.

I’m certainly not there yet myself, but I long for the days.

Where are you at on this journey?

Photo by dreamymo