Teaching our kids the right habits to enjoy life, be creative, prosper financially and to generally be successful is a challenge all parents face.

Good habits do not begin automatically.  Our kids learn a good portion of their behavior from us, their parents.  We are their role models. 

We have the incredible responsibility to teach our kids the behaviors and habits necessary for a great life.  It is no small chore, but one that is of the utmost importance.

What habits are you teaching your kids?

“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.”
~ Charles C. Noble

A habit is an automatic pattern of behavior repeated regularly.  Basically, the way we act is a sum of our habits.

Our children model the behavior they see in us.  Actions speak louder than words.

Regardless of how much you lecture, admonish and teach otherwise, your kids are most likely to wind up acting a good deal like you do.

To me, this is a fact that is reassuring on one hand and frightening on another.

I love knowing that teaching my kids good habits is relatively easy.  I just have to model the right behaviors for them.  Over the long-haul, they will pick them up and adopt these positive actions as their own.

However, it is quite disturbing to think that I can just as easily pass along my bad habits.

This forces me to seriously examine my own life and to ask myself, “What do I want to be teaching my kids?”  Am I passing along the right habits to them?

I realize that the first step in teaching my kids good habits is to clean up my own act!

The top ten habits kids need for a great life

I have created a list of the good habits that I want to model for my children so they will follow my lead and learn what they need for a great life.

1.  Be health-conscious and eat right

I want to teach my kids to think about how they treat their bodies.  Failing to protect your health can severely limit your options in life.  I confess I have work to do in this area.  In particular, I need to model healthier eating habits.  I do exercise regularly so, I know my kids see that, but I could certainly be a better example with my diet.

2.  Get plenty of rest

Getting eight hours of sleep a night is very important to our physical and emotional health.  Of course, many of us deprive ourselves of the proper rest.  Making sleep a priority is often a challenge.  My wife and I try to go to bed about the same time every night.  We also have a regular bedtime for our kids.  Hopefully, they will carry this habit over into adulthood.

3.  Become a good reader

There are so many benefits to being a good reader.  Children that read well do better in school.  I want my kids to be lifelong learners.  Books, blogs and other written materials are excellent sources of new learning.  Good readers enjoy reading and therefore do it more often.  I read to my kids regularly and I believe this will help them learn to love reading too.

4.  Be truthful

We are either in the habit of telling the truth or we’re not.  I’ll admit that being honest isn’t always easy, but I definitely think our kids follow our lead in this area.  They watch us and they are very perceptive.  I believe setting the right example here is crucially important.  For my kids benefit, I want to tell the truth even when it isn’t easy.

5.  Work hard

Hard work is something that many these days seem to avoid like a disease.  However, nothing meaningful is ever accomplished without great effort.  The habit of doing a job well is passed down from parent to child through the expectations we set.  It is sometimes easier to do the work, like cleaning up a roomful of toys, for my kids.  But, when I do this I miss the opportunity to teach them the value and satisfaction of a job well done.

6.  Be financially wise

We’ve been following Dave Ramsey’s teaching for the last few years and I’m amazed at how much my daughters have picked up.  Schools rarely, if ever, teach children sound personal finance principles so, it is imperative that we as parents do this.  As I said before, actions speak a lot louder than words.  Our kids need to see us doing the right things financially so they can follow in our footsteps.

7.  Have fun and be silly

A big part of living life to the fullest is about having fun along the way.  I’m a pretty serious person by nature so, I have to remind myself to stop and be silly once in awhile.  I want my girls to learn to laugh and fully engage in adventurous, entertaining and fun activities.  Get your kids in the habit of having fun and they’ll practice it all their lives!

8.  Try new things

It is easy to get stuck in a rut.  Good habits are one thing, but inflexibility is another.  The world is ever-changing.  You have to adapt and try new things to remain vibrant and alive.  Teaching our children that it is okay to try new things and even to fail once in awhile is a grand lesson.

9.  Exercise your creativity

Kids are naturally creative.  As we grow older, we often lose touch with our creativity.  This is sad.  Demonstrating to our kids that we have a wide-range of interests and helping them to learn to express their creativity in increasingly more mature ways is important.  This blog is one way that I exercise my creativity and I hope my kids develop a similar habit.

10.  Be a leader

The world needs leaders.  Taking the lead is a habit that some people never seem to develop.  Maybe it is because they never saw anyone around them assuming a leadership role as they grew up.  I want to be sure that my kids have leaders they admire and model in their lives.

These habits will prepare your kids for a great life

If I can teach my kids these ten habits, then I believe they will be well on their way to a great life.  I have a lot of work to do in my own life to become the role model I want to be, but I’m not giving up.  The effort is worth the reward!

What habits do you want to teach your kids?

Photo by tiffanywashko

As parents it’s our responsibility to teach, guide and encourage our kids. If we do our job right they go on to become responsible contributing members of society.

No pressure…right?

Teaching practical life skills and philosophies are important parts of developing our children into well rounded and happy adults. The time we have with our kids is precious and relatively short.

With that in mind, I would like to share with you a list of 40 things that I will teach my kids before they leave home. Some are serious while some are lighthearted, since I think an important part of forming a meaningful relationship with our kids is to have a little fun along the way.

Practical life skills

I will teach my kids:

…that doing a proper grocery shop, including meal planning, shopping with a list and comparing prices, can save them a considerable amount of time and money.

…there is more to cooking and baking than simply opening a can or reheating a meal.

…that it’s important to sort your laundry not only by color, but  by fabric type and care instructions.

…that no matter what the fashion is at the time, when it comes to an interview, work or special occasions — grab an iron. Walking around all wrinkled and creased sends a message of laziness.

…how to grow and care for a plant. This is a relatively easy and inexpensive way to instill responsibility. I’d start with an easy to care for houseplant like an umbrella tree or amaryllis or a potted tomato plant out on the deck.

…how to change a car tire so that when they get a flat they are less likely to be stranded on the side of the road not knowing what to do.

…to drive responsibly and to be acutely aware of the consequences of drinking and driving, even if they are the passenger.

…that they can save money on books if they frequent the library.

…how to do standard maintenance on their cars like change the oil and various filters as well as top up fluids and replace light bulbs.

…how to read a bus schedule so if they aren’t in a position to afford a car they can still get around with public transportation.

…that they can have a lot more fun if they build things from scratch. I’m thinking birdhouses, step stools, go-karts, kites and paper planes.

…how to tie a variety of knots so whether they are tying up a boat or pulling a car out of a ditch or snowbank they are better armed.

…how to barbecue a perfect meal paying particular attention to pre-grill prep and special recipes.

…the importance of reading food labels. Not only to become aware of individual ingredients but to also know the quantities of sugar, additives and types of fats they contain.

…how to hem pants, sew on buttons and mend socks.

…how to type properly with both hands on the keyboard. In a society where computers are used for nearly everything, learning how to type properly will increase their efficiency and productivity.

…the concept of compound interest. Who doesn’t want to make interest on interest?

…how to create an effective budget that allows them to live within their means and continually increase their net worth.

…how to read a map and use a compass.

…how to build a quinzee and survive a night in the cold. (A quinzee is basically a hollowed out mound of snow and are actually quite warm to sleep in! This was one of my favorite experiences as a kid.)

…how to swim and tread water, these skills could potentially save their life.

Philosophical life lessons

I will teach my kids:

…that they can be happy if they choose to be happy.

…that a smile is the simplest thing you can do to truly brighten the day of someone else.

…about compassion and how they can go beyond empathy by truly understanding and feeling other people’s pain and suffering. Once they have this understanding and a genuine desire to relieve other’s pain it will make them better people.

…that there is no such thing as being too polite. You can never say please, thank-you or excuse me too often.

…how listening without judgement, criticism or offering solutions to problems, is a guaranteed way to show someone you care.

…that respect goes beyond being kind to their elders – it also includes property, people in general, animals and even themselves.

…to focus on enjoying what they already have instead of wasting time focusing on what they don’t have.

…that NOBODY knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING.

…that it’s okay to be wrong as that’s how we learn.

…to pursue things that are right for them as opposed to blindly following what society says they should do. The road less traveled usually brings the greatest rewards.

…that nobody will care as much about their money as they will, so they should choose their investments and financial advisers wisely.

…that people usually do the best they can with the information and knowledge they have at the time.

…that if something looks too good to be true it likely is.

…that the more they become attached to a thought or idea in the future, the greater their disappointment (suffering) will be when it doesn’t play out as planned.

…that friends may come and go but family will always be by their side. Always.

…that they will get more than they ever could have imagined simply by being kind and generous to those less fortunate.

…that life is short and that they should make the most of each and everyday. They should do things that make them smile, that make them feel alive and energized. Live.

…to remember that life is more about enjoying the journey than simply reaching the destination.

There are so many things I want to teach my kids and this list grows with each passing day. I want the best for my kids, as any parent does. I occasionally need to remind myself that they are their own little people on their own journeys in life.

How I see my role as a parent — I’m here to guide them, teach them and make sure they are well equipped with the skills, knowledge and common sense to survive and thrive on their own once they leave home. Time will tell if I’ve done my job well.

What do you plan on teaching your kids? What is the best life lesson you’ve been taught?

If you enjoyed this post then check out Serene Journey for more simple tips to enjoy life.

Photo courtesy of: horizontal.integration

In order for our kids to grow up and live happy, productive lives they need guidance.  They need our direction so they can adopt the proper family values as their compass.

Embedding the right attitudes and values in our children early will keep them from running amuck like some of our bankers have done lately.

Five family values that our children and bankers need

I could have just as easily titled this post, “How To Avoid a Future Financial Crisis“.  It seems the parents of some of our bankers forgot to teach their children some very basic family values.

Gordon Brown, the English Prime Minister, spoke this week about our bankers’ bad behavior and the need for a return to family values.  Amen.

I know that not all bankers are bad.  In fact, I’m sure it was a minority that led the financial industry astray.  However, it still can’t hurt to emphasize to all bankers what we expect from them in the future in the same way we need to teach these values to all our kids.

Let’s imagine for a moment that our children are going to grow up to be leaders in the financial and banking industry. 

Here are  the family values I suggest they need to adhere to:

1.  Work hard and do your best.

I think it is important that we teach our kids the proper work ethic.  They need to understand that what is right is putting in an honest days work for an honest dollar.

Whatever their profession, our children need to know they should earn their living by providing a valuable product or service to others.  It is not right to cheat, scam, trick, con, deceive, swindle, steal or otherwise bamboozle people out of their money!

2.  Tell the truth and be honest.

Don’t we all want our children to be honest with us?  Honesty is the bedrock for proper relationships.

On the other hand, lying just creates a mess.  One that usually unravels into a crisis.  We all know that bad things happen in life.  We all make mistakes.  The sooner the truth is out in the open, the quicker we can deal with it and mitigate the damage. 

Honesty truly is the best policy.  Let me emphasize this.  Honesty truly is the best policy.

3.  Don’t hurt yourself or others.

Doing things that will cause harm to yourself or other people is senseless.  We have to instill a sense of empathy and compassion in our children for all people.

We teach our kids not to hit, bite or throw things at each other when they are little.  As they get older, we guide them not to take unnecessary risks in other areas.  We teach them to abstain from risky sexual behavior, to avoid driving drunk and to be wise with their money.

Hopefully, if we’ve done our jobs, our kids will grow up respecting themselves and others enough not to do stupid things that could cause substantial pain like many are feeling today.

4.  Don’t take what isn’t yours.

This one seems so obvious, yet it clearly needs to be restated.  Let me try to make the basic laws of ownership as plain as possible:

• If you didn’t have it first or it wasn’t given to you, then it is not yours! 
• If it isn’t yours, then you need to leave it alone. 
• If you borrow it, you need permission and then you need to treat it with an extra level of care beyond even what you would do if it was yours.

Bankers are you listening?  Parents, I beg you for the sake of everyone, please teach this to your children.  It could really help avoid a lot of trouble down the road.

5.  Treat everyone like you want to be treated.

Ah, the golden rule is truly supreme.  I guess it is sort of an umbrella policy that covers everything.  It is so simple, yet so powerful.  I love it!

What if Bernie Madoff had lived by this one straightforward, uncomplicated, elementary rule of life?  Hundreds, if not thousands, of people might still have money to retire.

This isn’t rocket science or a complex ponzi scheme.  It is Life 101.  Who forgot to teach it to these people when they were kids?  Let’s not let it happen again!

These family values could save our children from the next crisis

There.  This stuff is pretty easy, isn’t it?  Let’s get back to the basics people! 

Do we really need to know chemistry, economics or genetic engineering if no one taught us these values first?  I don’t think so.  It sends shivers down my spine.

Let’s all make a commitment today to emphasize these family values in our homes.  Let’s drive them into our children’s minds and hearts to the point that they will never forget them.  Let’s all work together to avoid another crisis, be it global or just within our families.

I hope you agree!  Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below.  Think of it as signing a petition or firing a shot to be heard around the world!  Thanks!

Photo by theritters

Yesterday, I wrote about how our daughters are under attack in our toxic culture.  I expounded on all the messages they hear that are leading them astray.

Today, I want to offer what we as fathers must be teaching our daughters if we want them to grow up to be happy, independent and productive.

Teach daughters these 25 things and they will love you for it!

These are the things I want to teach my two daughters.  I am convinced these are the things necessary to counteract all the other crap they hear elsewhere.

1.  Family is forever

I want her to know that I will always love her mother.  Her family will always be here as a complete unit for her to depend upon.  I will model the loving marriage I want her to have.

2.  She is beautiful just the way she is

I will tell her this regularly to affirm her belief in it.  I will let her know that her natural beauty is all the attractiveness she will ever need and that I love her just the way she is.

3.  She is enough and capable of anything

I will reassure her regularly that she has all the intelligence, confidence and capability she needs to conquer anything she wants to do in life.  She is more than enough!

4.  How to say “no” and mean it

Over the years, her girlfriends and boyfriends are going to ask her to do things that aren’t good for her.  I will teach her it is okay to say “no” and stick to it.  Practice makes perfect!

5.  What I believe is right and wrong

Where else are our daughters going to get moral clarity?  We must teach them what we believe is ethical and right so they have a measure to live by.

6.  Humility

Yes, I want my daughter to be confident and independent, but I also want her to respect others and to treat everyone with dignity.  I want her to give due regard to those in authority such as teachers, public servants and her parents!

7.  How to eat to remain healthy

I want my daughter to have a healthy view of food.  I don’t want her to overindulge, but I also don’t want her to be obsessed with dieting.  Modeling a healthy diet and lifestyle are vital.

8.  Men should treat her with gentleness and respect

She will learn this by observing the way I treat her and her mother.  I will teach her that she should refuse to accept anything less.

9.  Modesty

It is much more attractive to create a modest and authentic look.  Young women that wear clothes that are revealing are crying out for attention.  I will teach my daughter that there are boundaries to what is acceptable.

10.  Relationships and family matter most in life

I will teach her that most of her joy and fulfillment in life will come from the relationships she builds.  It is of the utmost importance that she chooses and acts wisely.

11.  Not to drink too much and to stay away from drugs

Alcohol consumption in excess is dangerous and impairs judgement.  Alcohol before she is an adult is especially harmful.  Educating her on the perils and providing firm supervision is paramount.

12.  Her father will always defend her

She needs to know that if someone wrongs her, that I will defend her.  I will be her champion and hero.  She will never need to look elsewhere to find protection.

13.  How to manage her money

I will teach her that debt is dangerous and that thrift and frugality are wise.  I will show her how to budget her money and ways to save.  I will involve her so she can learn from an early age.

14.  The value of honesty and integrity

I want my daughter to understand that you are only as good as your reputation.  If you lie or cheat, word will spread and you will be discredited.  It is always better to tell the truth.

15.  Patience

Wait.  Wait to have sex.  Wait until you find the right man.  Wait so you can finish college.  Wait so you can travel.  Be patient.  There is no need to rush into things.

16.  Keep things simple

You will never regret keeping your life simple.  Complexity is burdensome.  It is tiring.  The simpler the solution, the more eloquent it is.  Keep your life simple!

17.  Put God first

God is your compass.  He will show you the way.  I will live so she knows what God means to me and that I have a relationship with Him.  He will never fail her.

18.  How to pray

Lift up all your concerns and thanksgiving to God!  It will help you to always remain humble and grateful.  You are blessed!

19.  We have more than enough

Be content.  Don’t fall victim to hyper-consumerism.  It will put you in a hole that you won’t like.  Recognize when you have enough.  Give generously.

20.  Appreciate nature

A good deal of the wonder and beauty in life is found in nature.  Spend time outdoors.  Take care of the environment.  Take time to appreciate all nature has to offer.

21.  Be persistent

Perseverance is one of the key characteristics of the successful.  Don’t give up too easily.  Stick with things until you conquer them.  Try and try again.

22.  Be practical and pragmatic

Stay grounded.  Look for solutions that work.  Solve problems for people and they will appreciate you.  Keep your head about you.  Be logical.

23.  She alone has authority over her body and life

Don’t let people push you around.  It is okay to be nice, but you also have to know when to put your foot down.  Draw the line when it is necessary.

24.  Ask yourself, “So, what can I do about it?”

This goes along with being practical.  Follow the wisdom in the Serenity Prayer.  It will decrease the stress in your life and increase your effectiveness.

25.  Your father will always, always, always love you!

I want her to know above all else that my love is unconditional.  I may not always like her behavior, but I will always love her.  She needs to understand this separation.

This is a big job, but I’m up for it because my daughters matter

I’m not  going to kid you.  Raising a daughter in today’s culture is a big job.  The stakes are high.  The opposition is fierce.

However, I will not give in.  I am drawing a line in the sand today.  I will be a father to my daughters.  I will fight for them.  I will live as an example.  This world and our society will not claim them as victims.

Time is wasting.  I’d better get busy!

What did I leave out?  What else do we need to be teaching our daughters?

Photo by DAHstra