Increasing your persuasiveness by even a small amount can have a big impact on your life.  After all, the margin between winning and losing is usually just the difference in doing a few small things a little better than your competition.

What would your life be like if you were just 20% more persuasive?

The results could be impressive.

Therefore, it is important that we investigate ways to increase our persuasiveness.  The good news is that there are some simple, scientifically proven methods you can use to be more convincing.

Tips for Being More Persuasive

Researchers in Yes! – 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive have found that what often seem like small, subtle changes in language, for example, can have a big difference in our ability to coax others into action.

I have hand-selected my five favorite persuasion strategies suggested in the book to offer here:

1.   Use the Bandwagon Effect

It is a scientifically proven fact that we tend to follow the crowd in our behavior.  We like to know that others have gone before us and when they have, we are more likely to do the same.  This is why salesmen love to use testimonials and why “word-of-mouth” is so effective.  You can significantly increase your persuasiveness by leveraging this powerful strategy.  The closer the relationship between the bandwagon and the one you are trying to convince, the better.

2.  Limit the Choices and Keep It Simple

Smart persuaders know that you can’t overwhelm people or they’ll walk away.  You are much more likely to get what you want when you keep it simple.  People get frustrated if they can’t easily understand the options and most of them will just disengage rather than trying to figure it out.  This strategy is even beneficial for parents.  It is great to offer your kids choices, but limit what you offer and make sure you make the options easy to understand.  This will increase the likelihood of them choosing one of the options you present with minimal resistance.

3.  Sandwich the Preferred Choice

People are more likely to select the middle-of-the-road choice.  Therefore, if you want to get your spouse to pick your preferred vacation package, sandwich it between a low-end and a high-end choice.  Discuss the more expensive option first and then talk about your preferred option.  This strategy works because people tend to select the middle-of-the-road alternative and it gives a sense that you are willing to compromise.  This is why businesses almost always offer a top-of-the-line model even though they don’t sell many of them.  They know it will increase the sales of their middle products.

4.  Leverage Reciprocity

People feel a social obligation to repay others for favors, gifts and praise.  This is one of the reasons that businesses offer free samples. So, if you want to persuade someone to work an upcoming holiday for you, take them a big plate of their favorite cookies now.  However, don’t let too much time pass before you ask your coworker to reciprocate.  Researchers have found that the perceived value of a gift or favor diminishes over time.  You’ll have a greater chance of success if you leverage the desire to reciprocate soon after you deliver the cookies.

5.  Because…

When asking people to do something for you, always provide them with a good rationale for why they should comply.  Social scientists have found that “because” is the single most powerful word when it comes to persuasion.  Ask what you want and then follow your request with “…because I really need your help” or “…because I’m your favorite relative”.  The stronger your rationale, the better your chances of getting what you want.  It doesn’t need to be detailed.  It just needs to make sense.

You Really Can Increase Your Persuasiveness

There is a lot of science behind the so-called art of persuasion.  These tips are simple, yet very effective.  I like them because anyone can use them to increase their persuasiveness. It just takes a little forethought and practice, but again think of the results you might achieve if you were just 20% more effective at convincing others to see things your way.  It could drastically change your life!

Photo by World Economic Forum

Sometimes we make things too hard!  We fail to use simple strategies to make our lives more enjoyable to live.

I’d like to offer you three quick tips that will immediately make your life better.  I’m going to keep this short and simple to practice what I’m preaching!

Use these tips to instantly make your life better

These strategies are sure to simplify things for you.  The easier things are, the better they are and the more likely they are to work!

Here are my three quick tips to make your life better:

1.  Eliminate all but what is absolutely necessary

Cut out the crap, streamline and pare down!  A few years ago when we were on our march to become debt-free, which is a great way to make your life better by the way, my wife and I sold off a bunch of stuff we no longer needed or enjoyed.  It was an incredible relief! 

Getting rid of some things reduced our clutter and freed up our time because we no longer had to maintain these items.  It was wonderful!  What can you cut from your life?  Check out 8 Things to Cut out of Your Life Immediately for some specific ideas on what to eliminate to make your life better.

2.  Get yourself organized so you can stop wasting valuable time

Have you ever noticed how much time we waste because we are so disorganized?  This is time that could be spent in much more enjoyable ways like lying on the beach!  In most cases, I think we could get twice as much done in half the time if we just got our act together. 

I’m certainly guilty here.  I usually know what to do, but I fail to take the time on the front end to get organized.  This is a mistake!  If you are in the same boat, then I’d suggest checking out these 7 Productivity Tips to Get More Done.  I’m not a personal productivity pusher.  Often I think productivity tips just get you nowhere faster, but I found the tips offered in this article to be refreshingly useful for making my life better!

3.  Stop procrastinating on the hard things that will make a difference

We often put off the very things that will make the most positive difference in our lives.  Things like starting a budget, addressing our marital issues and tackling that big project at work.  Our procrastination is costing us dearly in terms of a better life.  The only way to improve our lives is to face these things head on!

I know this is easier said than done.  I’m as conscience-stricken as anyone when I think about those things that I put off.  However, there are some ways to make difficult tasks easier.  These suggestions are sure to give you the confidence you need to get off high-center to make your life better!

Make your life better today by using these three tips

I am convinced that if we can cut out all but the essential, organize ourselves and stop procrastinating that we can instantly see improvement in our life.  We’ll have more time to sink our toes in the sand, smile and relax.

Take a stab at it!  Commit yourself to trying these three steps over the next week and see if it doesn’t make you feel a whole lot better about yourself and your life.

Photo by curly_exp( l)osure

I know that changing my behavior is not easy.  Of course, Socrates tells us, “The unexamined life is not worth living.“ 

In other words, one of the greatest thinkers that ever lived believes that the pursuit of personal growth is a mandatory activity in life.

If change is so important, then we better figure out how to make it happen.

5 tips to help you grow and change painlessly

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
~ Maria Robinson

Successful personal growth and change is paramount to living life to the fullest.  Let’s face it, we all make mistakes, fall into traps and collect our share of bad habits.  There is no better time than right now to start making changes to achieve a better result in our daily life.

Of course, real change is often hard to accomplish.  That’s why I’ve scoured the blogosphere and collected some fantastic tips to make change painless.  These tips come from some of the best minds on personal growth so you know they’ll work!

Here are five quick tips for creating painless personal growth:

1.  Master your inner enemy

Jonathan at Advanced Life Skills recently wrote a great piece about our biggest obstacle to personal growth.  In it, Jonathan explains that we all have some very strong emotional resistance to change.  This resistance is a like a rubber band that constantly pulls us back to our established behavior. 

Understanding how we are preprogrammed to resist change gives us an advantage.  The better you know your enemy, the easier it is to defeat.  Knowing the details of how you inner resistance works will help you develop a successful strategy to beat it!

2.   Beat your paralysis and fear

Often we avoid even trying to change because we fear failure.  This leaves us paralyzed and stagnated.  Talk to anyone that has tried to quit smoking or lose weight and you’ll find people that are afraid to even try due to past failures.

Luciano at Litemind tells us we need to view things from a different perspective to overcome our fear of failure.  For example, he suggests viewing our attempts as stepping stones toward an ultimate victory.  After all, every time we fail we are learning from our mistakes and growing in our ability to succeed.  Those that persevere against all odds are usually the ones that win!

3.  Learn to avoid the trigger

Bad habits have triggers.  Some of the triggers that stimulate our bad behavior are tied to our environment.  Kendall at Revive Your Life points out that old habits die hard when we fail to recognize the triggers.  He quotes a recent study from Duke University that concluded that the environment plays an unequivocal role in changing a habit or instilling a new one.

In order to grow personally, you need to identify the stimulus that leads you to behave badly and then eliminate that from your life.  It could be as simple as staying away from certain people or keeping out of fast food restaurants.  Once you start avoiding the trigger, then your battle will become a whole lot easier!

4.  Keep it simple stupid (KISS)

Henrik at The Positivity Blog tells us that personal development information can screw with our head.  Many of us tend to overcomplicate matters making them harder than they need to be to solve.  We research and study the problem to death maybe as a way to stall and hang on just a little longer to our bad habits.

The old KISS principle is a great one to apply to personal growth.  A basic plan, even one that has flaws, that we act upon gets us much closer to our goal than simply studying the problem endlessly.  Keep it simple and you’ll make headway in no time!

5.  Break it down

Finally, I like the suggestion that Cath offers in her article on the art of changing easily and gracefully posted at Dumb Little Man.  She tells us to break our desired change down into small, achievable steps.  Incremental changes or baby steps are much easier to swallow than the whole enchilada.

Big changes attempted all at once cause us to be overwhelmed and stressed.  They also are much more likely to be strongly resisted by our inner enemy.  By breaking things down, you can lower your stress and the amount of resistance you will have to overcome!

Make personal growth easy and painless with these great tips!

These tips for personal growth are incredible!  They will help you skyrocket your way to success in no time.  They are sure to take the pain out of change and let you accomplish all your goals with ease!

What strategies do you use to grow and change painlessly?

Photo by gerlos

I want to be able to get my relationships back on track when I do something that hurts a loved one’s feelings.  I have studied how to say I’m sorry a bit in order to get it right so, I thought I’d share a few thoughts about making an effective apology.

A simple, but effective apology

I believe a short and simple apology is often the most effective.  In fact, when we ramble on, we take the risk of offending the person further.  We could easily say something that additionally complicates the situation.  Here’s my recommendation:

<Person’s name>, I’m sorry that I <state very specifically what you are apologizing for>.  Will you forgive me? <stop talking>

Let me break down the parts of this apology a little to explain why it is effective.

1. Leading off with the person’s name -  This gets their attention.  Nothing attracts someone’s attention like hearing their name.  It also lets them know that this apology is specifically and especially for them.
2. I’m sorry that I – This is a short phrase that packs a lot of wallop.  Every word has a purpose.  Right after getting the person’s attention, you say I’m sorry to let them know from the beginning that you are apologizing.  This will help them feel safe enough to listen.  The next two words, that I, communicates that you are taking responsibility for your actions.  Very important!
3. State very specifically what you are sorry for – This is the meat, but it does not need to be lengthy.  In fact, I would encourage brevity.  If you want your apology to be accepted, then you must come 100% clean.  Do not beat around the bush or try to dodge any blame.  State as clearly as you can the exact and specific thing you said or did that upset the person.
4. Will you forgive me? – Ask for what you want.  In the case of an apology, we want forgiveness.  In most cases, if we admit our crime and seem genuinely sorry, then most reasonable people are going to forgive us at this point.  By asking, we simply help them get there.
5. Stop talking – This is very important.  There is really nothing more that needs to be said in an apology.  However, it seems that shutting up is one of the hardest things for us to do.  So let me emphasize that continuing to talk is like walking blindfolded along the edge of a treacherous cliff!  Don’t do it!

A few other pointers for making an effective apology

Here are a few other things that I would suggest when saying sorry:

1. Be sincere – Do not start an apology until you really mean it.  The person will detect your insincerity if you don’t come to them with a humble attitude.
2. Look them in the eye – Let them search your eyes and know that you are being genuine.  Look them straight in the eye as you say the suggested apology above.
3. Apologize in private – Pull the person aside and render your apology in private.  This reduces the pressure and distractions.  If a public apology is needed, then you can do this later.
4. Apologize in person – Go to the person to apologize whenever possible.  Don’t ask them to come to you.  Don’t apologize over the phone or via e-mail unless a face-to-face meeting is impossible.
5. Watch your body language – A lot of communication is non-verbal.  Be careful what you say with your body.  If you are truly sorry, then this will likely take care of itself.
6. Don’t delay – Apologize sooner rather than later!  If emotions are high, then wait until things have cooled off, but don’t wait too long.  You don’t want ill feelings to fester.

An effective apology will preserve a relationship

I am so thankful for apologies!  They have helped me to save many relationships over the years.  I have received a lot of forgiveness by simply offering an effective apology.  If you are reading this, then it is likely that you feel like you need to apologize to someone.  What are you waiting for?  Use these suggestions and you will be making up before you know it!

What tips would you suggest for making an effective apology?

Photo by Half Chinese

I honestly don’t know how people accomplished anything before Google. We have all developed skills at specifying good keyword combinations to locate the information we need quickly and painlessly, but if you are like me, you occasionally have a hard time getting the results you want. Well, never fear because Lifehacker.com has posted some great techniques that will help you find exactly what you need in their article
Top 10 Obscure Google Search Tricks.