If you are like me, you do.  The problem is that I often find myself caught in a quagmire of inaction.

Doing nothing will get us nothing.  Life is not going to hand us more success on a silver platter.  We must demand it and wrestle it from life.

This is a simple fact we often choose to ignore.

Do you agree with this?  If so, are you doing anything about it?  Are you really taking daily steps to get what you want or are you simply hoping what you desire is going to magically appear?

The Cinderella syndrome in my life

I have two little girls so, I get the privilege of reading them princess stories.  The time together is magical, but I’m not sure things happen in real life like they do in the stories.

Right now, my youngest is infatuated with Cinderella so, I’ve read it several times lately.

I remember hearing this story when I was a kid myself.  I recently wondered if I suffer from what I’m calling the Cinderella syndrome in my life.

Cinderella’s life was less than she imagined it could be.

However, she just kept working for her stepmother and stepsisters and dreaming of a better life.  Cinderella worked hard, but in a direction that really offered no opportunity for change or improvement.

I’m sure you know the story and that eventually Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother magically helped her get to the royal ball.

In Cinderella’s most desperate hour, her Fairy Godmother saved the day and paved the way for Cinderella to meet and marry the prince.  She then lived happily ever after!

As I read this, it struck me.  Am I waiting on my Fairy Godmother to swoop in and create a magical carriage to carry me to the life I desire?

I often wish for one or more of the following:

• A big break that will be my fast track to success
• A mentor or coach that will take me under his wing and lead me to the mother lode
• One clever or genius idea that will immediately sweep me on to success

This kind of wishful thinking is called the Cinderella syndrome.  It is a dream built on false hopes.

How to overcome dependency on your Fairy Godmother

Let me be blunt.  Your Fairy Godmother does not exist!  She is not coming to wave her wand to magically transform you into the success you want to be.

I’m sorry!  I know that was painful to hear.  It hurt me when I realized it too.

I don’t want to crush your dreams.  In fact, I’d like to replace your Fairy Godmother with someone that can make a difference in your life.  YOU!

That’s right.  YOU have all that is necessary to make all your desires into reality and YOU are a much better person to trust with all your hopes and dreams anyway.

Kick the notion of the Fairy Godmother to the curb and get started making your life into what YOU want it to be.  Trust me, YOU can do it!

A three step plan to kick the Fairy Godmother habit

You’ve heard of 12 step programs, right?  Well, fortunately you can kick the habit of depending on your Fairy Godmother in only three tiny little steps! 

Here’s what you need to do:

1.  Create a strong vision for the future you truly desire

This is the hardest part for some people.  However, you have to decide what you really want before you can go for it.

Throw off all barriers in your thinking and imagine what your life would look like if money were no object and if it were impossible to fail.

You may scoff saying, “Jeff that is totally unrealistic!”  Well, you might not get all the way to your ideal, but at least with a destination in mind you can make some progress.

I encourage you to read What is The Good Life Anyway?  In this article, Jonathan encourages us to consider 7 important elements when creating our vision.  His advice will help you in creating a well-rounded vision.

You may also want to read Ten Things That Won’t Matter in Ten Years’ Time – And Ten Things That Will.  This short little article will help you stay focused on things that create significance in life. 

One caution I’ll offer about creating your vision.  Be sure it is your vision and not just echoes of other people’s expectations.  We will often “inherit” our dreams from parents, grandparents and even spouses.  Our vision needs to be uniquely our own.

2.  Start taking baby steps to build courage

Once you know the life you’d like to lead, then you can start making it happen.  I like starting out with a less intimidating approach.

Baby steps are an easy way to start to make your dreams a reality.  Look for ways that you can make incremental changes or adjustments in your present situation to move a little closer to your ideal life.

In The 5 Percent Trick: Finding Passion and Purpose in Life, Albert suggests a technique that I really like.  He recommends that every day you ask yourself, “If I were to move 5% closer to my vision today, I would (fill in the blank).  Then do it!

Taking baby steps like this is powerful.  If you could continue improving in various areas just 5% every day imagine where you’d be in a month or a year!

Another similar technique can be found in How to Change Your Life in 30 Seconds or Less.  Maybe you don’t think you have the time to remodel your life.  Well, in this article, Carole shows how in just 30 seconds a day you can make tremendous strides in the right direction!

Remember the story about the tortoise and the hare?  Slow and steady wins the race!

3.  Take a big leap into the deep end

After you’ve been practicing baby steps for awhile, most people build up the courage and decide to take the big plunge!

The big plunge for you could mean quitting your day job and pursuing your business full-time or it could mean writing that novel you’ve always wanted to write.

Whatever it is, eventually you have to put your whole self into it if you ever want to see it really take off.

Scott Young tells us Don’t Swim in the Shallow Waters!  He believes that the challenge of total immersion, even if you get in a little over your head, is the only way to go.

This is really the final exam in overcoming your dependency on your Fairy Godmother.  When you make this leap, you are letting go of wishful thinking forever and truly making it happen!

Goodbye Fairy Godmother and hello wonderful life

I have certainly found myself on more than one occasion trying to wish my way to a better life.  Of course, wishing alone never did anything for me.  My Fairy Godmother never showed up.

However, the three steps above have never failed me.  They always produce results.  You may not get everything you want immediately, but you will certainly get closer by creating a clear vision and taking positive action.  A wonderful life is just around the corner.  Can you see it?

Do you ever find yourself relying on your Fairy Godmother and wishful thinking?  What have you done about it?

Photo by Raymond Brown