Comments on: I Feel Trapped In My Life http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/ Good Habits for a Great Life! Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:30:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Bubs http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-15983 Bubs Mon, 16 Jan 2012 02:59:38 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-15983 @Aura: Aura i just read your post to Jeff and i realised...YOU ARE ME! I am in the exact same situtation! I too have controlling, traditional, old school Asian parents. All i want to do is get out of the house and see the world, but i can't. In their eyes I need to study, get a good job, get married etc. We are only young Aura, it may not seem like it now, but there will come a point in our lives when our parents will finally see us as adults and we can do what we please. It just takes a bit longer in Asian culture before we are allowed to do our own thing. They mean well Aura, even if at times we dont see it. Also, after not seeing my asian friends for so long, I no longer fit into their clique, but by having strict parents and an Asian background i cant ever fully fit into the British community either! Sometimes i feel very frustrated by that, but other times i content myself by thinking that i'm lucky to be part of two cultures instead of just one. Saying that, i do still feel trapped and depressed quite often, but i think Jeff's brilliant advice will help and i hope this post helps you to realise that you are not alone xXx @Aura: Aura i just read your post to Jeff and i realised…YOU ARE ME! I am in the exact same situtation! I too have controlling, traditional, old school Asian parents. All i want to do is get out of the house and see the world, but i can’t. In their eyes I need to study, get a good job, get married etc. We are only young Aura, it may not seem like it now, but there will come a point in our lives when our parents will finally see us as adults and we can do what we please. It just takes a bit longer in Asian culture before we are allowed to do our own thing. They mean well Aura, even if at times we dont see it.
Also, after not seeing my asian friends for so long, I no longer fit into their clique, but by having strict parents and an Asian background i cant ever fully fit into the British community either! Sometimes i feel very frustrated by that, but other times i content myself by thinking that i’m lucky to be part of two cultures instead of just one.
Saying that, i do still feel trapped and depressed quite often, but i think Jeff’s brilliant advice will help and i hope this post helps you to realise that you are not alone xXx

]]> By: Eric http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-13186 Eric Fri, 18 Nov 2011 19:09:26 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-13186 Hey Jeff, Thanks for the ideas. I am trying them out today to see if they help with my trapped feelings. I have a questions about #1 - what guidelines do you have for this exercise? Or in other words, how do you discern when an idea is escapism vs. a realistic, goal-oriented view? For instance, I think it would be unhealthy to say "I won $50 Million in the lottery!" Hey Jeff,

Thanks for the ideas. I am trying them out today to see if they help with my trapped feelings. I have a questions about #1 – what guidelines do you have for this exercise? Or in other words, how do you discern when an idea is escapism vs. a realistic, goal-oriented view? For instance, I think it would be unhealthy to say “I won $50 Million in the lottery!”

]]> By: Anna http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-13093 Anna Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:17:41 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-13093 I feel trapped. I fell in love with a man that has 2 teenagers!! The older male teenager constantly gets in trouble and has really put a burden on our relationship and our quality of life. We are afraid to leave our bedroom door open or leave knifes in the kitchen. We are always getting calls from the school with behavior issues. I have never lived that this before. Sometimes I just want to walk away but I don't want to leave a great companion. I feel trapped in a situation I didn't ever imagine would happen to me. My children are grown and never took me through this. Need help.... need some inspiration. Thank you I feel trapped. I fell in love with a man that has 2 teenagers!! The older male teenager constantly gets in trouble and has really put a burden on our relationship and our quality of life. We are afraid to leave our bedroom door open or leave knifes in the kitchen. We are always getting calls from the school with behavior issues. I have never lived that this before. Sometimes I just want to walk away but I don’t want to leave a great companion. I feel trapped in a situation I didn’t ever imagine would happen to me. My children are grown and never took me through this. Need help…. need some inspiration.

Thank you

]]> By: Amy http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-13092 Amy Sat, 29 Oct 2011 19:59:43 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-13092 I'm a sophomore girl in high school and for the past 6 months or so I've felt stuck and unhappy with my life. My big sister and I have always been each other's best friends, so when she started off for her first year of college, I became more lonely and antisocial. I have a lot of extra time. I'd love to find fun, creative, or even volunteer opportunities to become involved in, but so far I haven't been able to find groups to my liking. Often I suffer bouts of depression. My days feel empty and meaningless but for a few moments at a time. I get jealous of others. I find myself not eating healthy or sleeping well, and I become exhausted. When I go through low times, I withdraw from people and feel uncomfortable talking my situation. Since the start of my depression, I unintentionally lash out at my mom and it's hurt our relationship. I make plans to improve my life and attitude but they never seem to stick. I need encouragement and help. I’m a sophomore girl in high school and for the past 6 months or so I’ve felt stuck and unhappy with my life.

My big sister and I have always been each other’s best friends, so when she started off for her first year of college, I became more lonely and antisocial.

I have a lot of extra time. I’d love to find fun, creative, or even volunteer opportunities to become involved in, but so far I haven’t been able to find groups to my liking.

Often I suffer bouts of depression. My days feel empty and meaningless but for a few moments at a time. I get jealous of others. I find myself not eating healthy or sleeping well, and I become exhausted. When I go through low times, I withdraw from people and feel uncomfortable talking my situation. Since the start of my depression, I unintentionally lash out at my mom and it’s hurt our relationship. I make plans to improve my life and attitude but they never seem to stick. I need encouragement and help.

]]> By: Pete M http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-13062 Pete M Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:59:58 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-13062 Im in a long term relationship with my girlfriend. We have a 2 year old kid. We're in huge amount of credit card debt. I love her but I'm no longer in love with her. I recently had a one night stand and I feel ashamed but it's made me think about getting out of this situation and starting a fresh with someone new. Not the girl I had the fling with but someone else. I'd like more kids but my girlfriend can't have any more because of medical reasons. We both work hard in demanding full time jobs. We have a house that needs a lot of renovation work. We dont have money to flip it over. We can't sell it, we'd be in negative equity. We can't rent it as its in a poor state. I don't know what to do. I feel so trapped. There is no end in sight. I have thoughts about running away and leaving the country. I don't feel suicidal as I know I could never do that to my daughter. I don't go out and socialise anymore. I have no money. I don't do anything apart from worry about money, eat, sleep and watch TV. I'm 40 next year and I feel my life is over. I think my relationship is cursed. Getting out of this situation is the only thing I can hold on to but how? Should I tell her how I feel. Should I tell her about the affair? It will destroy her. I care about her but i can't see myself being with her for the rest of my days. Please help. Im in a long term relationship with my girlfriend. We have a 2 year old kid. We’re in huge amount of credit card debt. I love her but I’m no longer in love with her. I recently had a one night stand and I feel ashamed but it’s made me think about getting out of this situation and starting a fresh with someone new. Not the girl I had the fling with but someone else. I’d like more kids but my girlfriend can’t have any more because of medical reasons.
We both work hard in demanding full time jobs. We have a house that needs a lot of renovation work. We dont have money to flip it over. We can’t sell it, we’d be in negative equity. We can’t rent it as its in a poor state. I don’t know what to do. I feel so trapped. There is no end in sight. I have thoughts about running away and leaving the country. I don’t feel suicidal as I know I could never do that to my daughter. I don’t go out and socialise anymore. I have no money. I don’t do anything apart from worry about money, eat, sleep and watch TV. I’m 40 next year and I feel my life is over. I think my relationship is cursed. Getting out of this situation is the only thing I can hold on to but how?
Should I tell her how I feel. Should I tell her about the affair? It will destroy her. I care about her but i can’t see myself being with her for the rest of my days. Please help.

]]> By: Aura http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-12619 Aura Sun, 14 Aug 2011 05:50:39 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-12619 Hi Jeff, My age is 19 Hi Jeff,

My age is 19

]]> By: Aura http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-12616 Aura Sat, 13 Aug 2011 07:41:22 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-12616 Hi Jeff, My age is 19. Hi Jeff,

My age is 19.

]]> By: Jeff http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-12594 Jeff Mon, 08 Aug 2011 13:10:13 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-12594 Aura, hello! It is nice to meet you. Your situation is somewhat difficult for me to address because I don't know your age. I think my advice would be quite different depending on how old you are. If you could tell me your age, then that would help. Aura, hello! It is nice to meet you. Your situation is somewhat difficult for me to address because I don’t know your age. I think my advice would be quite different depending on how old you are. If you could tell me your age, then that would help.

]]> By: Aura http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-12592 Aura Mon, 08 Aug 2011 04:25:51 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-12592 Hi Jeff, I happened to chance upon your blog by accident but I'm glad that I had. I feel so trapped by the situation I am in. Its hard to explain through words mostly because you also need to know the cultural background that I am coming from. My parents are from Southeast Asia and because of this fact are very traditional. Which wouldn't be too bad but the problem is that I just don't agree with their crazy traditional values, which are sexist sometimes. Because of this there is a lot of tension in the house and I literally cannot do anything without asking my parents for permission. The only time they even allow me some space is when its something school oriented, if its anything else they get really pissed and just start taking about how traditionally this is right and how I'm just such a bad person that I want to go out and enjoy myself. And in my culture your parents do have a lot of control, for lack of a better term, in your life. It wouldn't be so bad but its just people who have parents from the same background are way more lenient than mine. Which brings me to my second reason for my depression. I have no friends within my Southeast Asian community. I am literally a stranger to them all. They know who I am virtue of the fact that we grew up together but thats where it stops. My family lost its touch the community when their own intermediate family migrated here. And I just see all their posts on Facebook and how their lives are moving forward and how their having fun and I get depressed and upset because I can't relate to these people anymore because of this I feel trapped. Anyways I just needed to filter some of this information out and this seemed like a nice place to do it because you give really good advice Jeff. I hope you can shine some perspective into my life even though my post might be hard to understand and relate to. Hi Jeff,

I happened to chance upon your blog by accident but I’m glad that I had. I feel so trapped by the situation I am in. Its hard to explain through words mostly because you also need to know the cultural background that I am coming from. My parents are from Southeast Asia and because of this fact are very traditional. Which wouldn’t be too bad but the problem is that I just don’t agree with their crazy traditional values, which are sexist sometimes.

Because of this there is a lot of tension in the house and I literally cannot do anything without asking my parents for permission. The only time they even allow me some space is when its something school oriented, if its anything else they get really pissed and just start taking about how traditionally this is right and how I’m just such a bad person that I want to go out and enjoy myself. And in my culture your parents do have a lot of control, for lack of a better term, in your life. It wouldn’t be so bad but its just people who have parents from the same background are way more lenient than mine.

Which brings me to my second reason for my depression. I have no friends within my Southeast Asian community. I am literally a stranger to them all. They know who I am virtue of the fact that we grew up together but thats where it stops. My family lost its touch the community when their own intermediate family migrated here. And I just see all their posts on Facebook and how their lives are moving forward and how their having fun and I get depressed and upset because I can’t relate to these people anymore because of this I feel trapped.

Anyways I just needed to filter some of this information out and this seemed like a nice place to do it because you give really good advice Jeff. I hope you can shine some perspective into my life even though my post might be hard to understand and relate to.

]]> By: Sumy http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/comment-page-1/#comment-12450 Sumy Sun, 10 Jul 2011 21:18:14 +0000 http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/trapped-in-my-life/#comment-12450 Hi Jeff, I am a mother and have two gorgeous kids a daugter, 7 and a son 4, my partner is also a loving, caring husband and loves me crazy, weve been married 10 years now. The problem lies in a big mistake i feel we have made in buying a property here in England Birmingham for £190,000 which was bought in september 2007 before the recession and house prices dropped. The house is on rent as we can not afford to live in it just yet, we borrowed 50% of it from relatives and friends to who we are now clearing our debt, the rent pays the mortgage of the remaining 50%. the problem all lies with myslef feeling hugely trapped because i live with my husbands parents who we live with for free. All sounds hunky dory but i feel trapped because of the decision we made of buying the property and trying to pay off relative and friends before moving in. It is difficult living under someone elses roof and under their rules and especialy when you have a father inlaw who critisices you for any little mistake we make even if it means we accidently left the hallway light on we get a big lecture and a good telling off, including cant wait till you move into your own place. The worst is when my kids are involved I feel intervened, my mother inlaw intervenes with my children alot and spoils them rotten, when i try to dicipline them she intervenes and says to them dont listen to your mother we going to hit her, she also feed them sugary foods which i totaly disagree with and when i say no to her she gets offended. I feel i have no control over my babies and feel like a bad mother, because i am always shouting at them due to my inner frustration, i tend to take it out on the poor souls. My children are challenging kids, my son is over hyper and tends to throw a tantrum over simple reasons and because i feel like i am always shouting at them i feel they are more badly behaved. My husband is hardly home he works all day and comes in the evening at 8pm just when the kids are ready for bed, so i am the one dealing with them all the tima apart from weekends, yet most weekends my husband has things to do or places to go so again he is not home. My mother inlaw has daughters who come and stay pretty much every weekend and my childrens routine is all messed up when they come. I feel like i have made the biggest mistake by buying a house which we will not be moving into for another 3 years.We can't even sell it at the minute as we will loose out alot of money and not get back what we paid for it as house prices have come down. I am now 30 and i feel like i am still treated like a kid by his parents. I am a perfectionist and love being neat and tidy whereas my mother inlaw is the total opposite and i have to live in an unorganised atmosphere apart from my teritories which is my bedroom and the kids room (which i decorated to my likings and organised how i like it) I work full time an hardly see them all day and when i do i am over tired to deal with them and not put in my 100%. I try weekend but others take over. What do i do?????? i feel trapped and ruled by others, i can not live my own life to how i would like it to be, others intervene too much and if I was to tell my mother inlaw how i feel about her i will be regarded as a nasty daughter inlaw and unappreciative because i live under thier roof for free. Just yesterday i was preparing luch for my kids and making healthy chicken wraps,my son couldnt wait as he was hungry and was screaming the house down, so my mother inlaw decided she should make hima jam sandwich, for the first time i put my foot down and told her no, she hasnt talked to me since. i am in a big mess and dint know what to do.What would you advice me on this sitiuation. Thanx Sumy xxx Hi Jeff,
I am a mother and have two gorgeous kids a daugter, 7 and a son 4, my partner is also a loving, caring husband and loves me crazy, weve been married 10 years now.
The problem lies in a big mistake i feel we have made in buying a property here in England Birmingham for £190,000 which was bought in september 2007 before the recession and house prices dropped.
The house is on rent as we can not afford to live in it just yet, we borrowed 50% of it from relatives and friends to who we are now clearing our debt, the rent pays the mortgage of the remaining 50%.
the problem all lies with myslef feeling hugely trapped because i live with my husbands parents who we live with for free. All sounds hunky dory but i feel trapped because of the decision we made of buying the property and trying to pay off relative and friends before moving in.
It is difficult living under someone elses roof and under their rules and especialy when you have a father inlaw who critisices you for any little mistake we make even if it means we accidently left the hallway light on we get a big lecture and a good telling off, including cant wait till you move into your own place.
The worst is when my kids are involved
I feel intervened, my mother inlaw intervenes with my children alot and spoils them rotten, when i try to dicipline them she intervenes and says to them dont listen to your mother we going to hit her, she also feed them sugary foods which i totaly disagree with and when i say no to her she gets offended.
I feel i have no control over my babies and feel like a bad mother, because i am always shouting at them due to my inner frustration, i tend to take it out on the poor souls.
My children are challenging kids, my son is over hyper and tends to throw a tantrum over simple reasons and because i feel like i am always shouting at them i feel they are more badly behaved.
My husband is hardly home he works all day and comes in the evening at 8pm just when the kids are ready for bed, so i am the one dealing with them all the tima apart from weekends, yet most weekends my husband has things to do or places to go so again he is not home.
My mother inlaw has daughters who come and stay pretty much every weekend and my childrens routine is all messed up when they come.
I feel like i have made the biggest mistake by buying a house which we will not be moving into for another 3 years.We can’t even sell it at the minute as we will loose out alot of money and not get back what we paid for it as house prices have come down.
I am now 30 and i feel like i am still treated like a kid by his parents.
I am a perfectionist and love being neat and tidy whereas my mother inlaw is the total opposite and i have to live in an unorganised atmosphere apart from my teritories which is my bedroom and the kids room (which i decorated to my likings and organised how i like it)

I work full time an hardly see them all day and when i do i am over tired to deal with them and not put in my 100%. I try weekend but others take over.

What do i do?????? i feel trapped and ruled by others, i can not live my own life to how i would like it to be, others intervene too much and if I was to tell my mother inlaw how i feel about her i will be regarded as a nasty daughter inlaw and unappreciative because i live under thier roof for free.
Just yesterday i was preparing luch for my kids and making healthy chicken wraps,my son couldnt wait as he was hungry and was screaming the house down, so my mother inlaw decided she should make hima jam sandwich, for the first time i put my foot down and told her no, she hasnt talked to me since.
i am in a big mess and dint know what to do.What would you advice me on this sitiuation.
Thanx Sumy xxx

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