Why Is My Life So Hard?

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Does your life seem more difficult than it needs to be?

It sucks when life is hard.  It is so depressing and tiring.

You feel completely stuck and it is extremely difficult to figure out why.  You want to move on to better things, but somehow you keep bumping up against an invisible obstacle that holds you right where you are.  It can be frustrating and downright maddening.

Reasons Your Life Is Hard

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”

~ Lou Holtz

I understand just how upsetting it can be when you feel life is being hard on you.  That’s why I want to help you figure out what’s going on.  However, I need to tell you that it is going to take a little patience and open-mindedness on your part to solve this mystery.

You might read some things below that you don’t like at first.  In fact, if you start reading something that really bothers you, that’s probably what you need to hear the most.  So, please don’t just click away without reading through and giving these points your full consideration even if they make you mad or upset you in the beginning.  Deal?  Okay, let’s move on.

Here are three reasons that your life may seem hard:

1.  Arrogance

No one likes to be told they are arrogant.  So, right from the start, I’m testing your willingness to really take an honest look at yourself and your attitudes.  Are you being stubborn?  Sometimes we simply persist on a particular path when life is telling us to go another way.  Trying to swim against the current is difficult and it will make your life rocky.  You may be too stubborn to admit a) you’ve been wrong, b) you need to change and c) this is the source of your trouble.  This is arrogance, plain and simple.

I see this a lot around health issues.  You may have a bad habit that is playing havoc with your health, but you don’t want to give it up.  This makes your life hard, but you arrogantly persist.  Eventually, this will get the better of you.  One way or the other, if you ignore the warnings, you will pay and pay and pay.  Often difficulties are simply life’s way of telling you that you need to change.  Your life would be so much easier and enjoyable if you’d just listen to what it is trying to tell you.  Humble yourself and listen.  Then be willing to make some adjustments.  You’ll be happy you did.

2.  Inexperience

Life can sometimes seem much harder than it has to be simply due to inexperience.  You may be facing things you haven’t had to deal with before and that you lack preparation to handle.  This can certainly make life seem laborious and painful.  When you lack experience with a particular matter, you also lack the skill, judgment and understanding that make things a whole lot easier to handle.  This is no fault of yours, but the quicker you realize and admit that your inexperience is an issue, the faster you can fix it.

If you think your difficulties are due to inexperience, then there are a few ways that you can overcome this and make things easier on yourself.  Here are some ways I’ve dealt with difficulties due to inexperience in my own life:

Just because you lack experience doesn’t mean that you have to wallow in it.  Take the bull by the horns and get some help to ease the trouble you are facing.  Things will smooth out once you do.

3.  Pure Circumstances

I’ve lived long enough to know that occasionally, you just hit a rough patch in life that is purely circumstantial.  In other words, it is out of your control.  You didn’t do anything to deserve what you are getting.  God isn’t mad at you.  You aren’t being punished.  You are just going through a tough time and sometimes when it rains, it pours.  It is Murphy’s Law, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”  I’ve certainly had a few of these periods in my own life.  They are tough, but you can live through it. 

When circumstances aren’t going your way, you just have to do your best and keep yourself from slipping off the edge.  Remember the old adage, “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.”  Unfortunately, these spells can last awhile sometimes.  You just have to control what you can and deal with the rest.  I wished there was some better advice I had to offer, but once in awhile life gives you an endurance test.  Your job is to weather the storm even if it is long and difficult.  The one encouraging thing I can tell you is that it will eventually end.  The sun will rise again.  Trust me, better days are ahead for you if you just keep plugging along doing the best you can.

What Is Making Your Life Hard?

Okay, so did any of this help?  Have you decided what is making your life hard?  Is it arrogance, inexperience or just plain old circumstances?  Figuring this out is the crucial first step toward making things better.  Usually, just thinking about it in these ways helps.  You are going to get through this and when you do, the happiness you experience will be that much sweeter.

Tell me about your difficulties in the comments section.  Often, writing out your troubles will help you organize your thoughts about them.  Plus, you might help someone else along the way.

Photo: Copyright PhotoXpress.com

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17 thoughts on “Why Is My Life So Hard?

  1. Nice post. I think perceptive is another reason people think life is hard. I can recall when I was struggling to achieve certain things in life I always used to think it was sooo hard. I also used to wonder why it seemed so easy for everyone else.

    Well, when I started talking to many people who were achieving the things I wanted to, they would tell me about their struggles. Funny thing is, their struggles were just like mine or even harder. The difference was they never dwell on them.

    I love this quote, it really helps gain perspective
    When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard;” I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?” – Sydney J. Harris

    Great post! Thanks for letting me vent on your blog :)

    • Ralph, life does seem harder when we dwell on the so-called bad things that happen to us. It is easy to get in a “woe is me” state of mind which certainly does nothing helpful for us. I agree with you that it is always best to try to keep things in perspective and focus on the positive. However, I know that some people face things that make this incredibly difficult. I think we have to be very careful not to be too judgmental because we don’t always know what the person next to us is having to deal with in their life. I appreciate the comment!

    • Agree, Ralph! I had a friend who would get into a car accident every year. But then he realized that he was doing it to himself – that his interior self was actually influencing the world around him. It wasn’t until he stepped back and looked at it from a different perspective that he suddenly realized what was happening.

      I wrote more about it here (Jeff, hope you don’t mind the link): http://dorianinnes.com/post/33169374615/your-life-is-a-living-hell-how-to-fix-it
      Dorian´s last [type] ..Your Life Is a Living Hell. How To Fix It.

  2. Hello,

    i enjoyed reading the blog. I feel like I am hitting my head against a brick wall. I feel I am struggling because I am the wrong job or wrong relationship. But I dont know what is the alternatives.

    Lyndie

  3. I Googled why is life so hard and came up to this page. Almost exited but after the second paragraph, I had to continue. After reading it, I find it real helpful, and understand that I quite possibly might be in the arrogance stage. My difficulties are not something I’m willing to share but their is one thing I might need some help with, that I currently find difficult. It is, deciding on what I should do in life. I’m 19, and obviously plan on going to school, I must. But, it is figuring out what to take that is really difficult to decide on. One drawback is that I feel my hobby is trying to do the last thing I should think about going into and it is acting as a fog that’s blinding me from seeing the right path b/c the actual career that it leads to I most obviously will not enjoy, not to talk about how extremely difficult it is(computer engineering – boring). A pass time I don’t even enjoy doing much b/c it bumps me into the inexperienced stage, which completely complicates things to much. I know though that I like to create things and that doing something in animation or game developing would be fun. I feel that I am no longer an artist and can’t do those stuff no more, but the funny thing is, I don’t know what I can do when careers demand one to be extremely gifted. Suggestions?

  4. The thing that ffusturates me so much is that whenever I ask for help, I’m never getting it.

    Everytime I ask for help, either I’m being ignored or people change the subject. I always help without complaining, and am willing to help anyone, I am a nice person and would do anything for my family or friends, but not getting any help from anyone is really making my life difficult.

    I don’t want to make it sound like I’ve never been helped, I have, but for a long while everytime I ask for help on something either it be small or big, it seems that I am not getting any of the help i need. I’m being clear, I am saying “I need help…” but no one wants too. I really dont understand.

    For example, I really need my license for my job and just so it would make my life easier (in a way) I’ve gone for it twice and failed. I’m told by everyone that I drive with that I’m an amazing driver, but when I’m being judged, I cant do it. I’ve always been this way. And because I dont have my license I’ve become fursturated and annoyed alot. Mostly with myself.

    I’ve gone to my parents for help and they always change the subject and ignore me, which annoys me and angers me. I’ve gone to a school to take classes, but the judging scares me so much I fail. I’ve stopped asking my parents for help, but my life has become more difficult now that I’m out of school and have a job that demands wide hours. I wanna go get my license but everytime I go ask help I’m becoming very emotional because I dont want to ask anymore and be turned down or ignored.

    So I work long hours because then I dont have to think about it, but when I’m not working thats all I think about. Not being helped. I realize that I need to suck it up and do it myself but I have my whole life and it would be nice if I could get some help.

    Sorry if I sounded like a whinny baby, but I needed something to rant on or too. But if you do have something that could help me hat would be great.

  5. A year ago I had it all together. Self-employed, single homeowner of a 4 bedroom house on 2 acres of land in the woods, beside a small stream that I could kayak and canoe seven days a week. Then a flood came. I had flood insurance, while my neighbors did not. The flood ravaged all of our homes, but I was safe because I had flood insurance. I did everything right. A year later, all of my neighbors are living in their restored homes. I am not. I was forced by the local township to elevate my home eight feet into the air. At my cost. None of my neighbors were forced to elevate their homes. A year later, and I’m living in a tiny one bedroom apartment, alone. Lost my business, all of my worldly possessions, and my home. I see no reason to carry on. Fighting a never-ending losing battle with FEMA and the township. I can not win. How could this have happened? Nobody can tell me what I did wrong, but I see no reason to get out of bed. Sleep all day. You tell me to weather the storm? Keep hope alive? Why. I had it all together and lost it all, and to this day nobody can tell me what I did wrong. Life Sucks. That’s it. It just Sucks.

    • Hello Todd-
      I understand what you’re going through-don’t feel alone out there. I hope you are managing your pain and struggles. Maintaining a positive attitude is probably the most important thing you can do right now-as hard as it is. You didn’t do anything wrong. Life just deals us a pot of shit sometimes. Its a test to see how much we appreciate our blessings. There are reasons we cant explain why tragedy affects so many people.

      Not so long ago I too lived a fairly modest successful life. I was earning btw 75-100k a year for over a 15 yr period with a major company. I was doing what I had always wished for, and loved my work. I never had much of a personal life to speak of-even though I come from a fairly large family. Terrible luck with relationships, although seemingly successful.

      I didn’t exactly appreciate the comfortable life I was given, so I blew my earnings on such insignificant things. I wasted thousands dollars on drugs and alcohol. Yet I still did not gain any true happiness from my addictions. I damaged my health, but I am physically recovered, I now live with the guilt of commiting so many errors with relationships and financial management.

      I was heart broken by someone who left me, and felt lonely that I never had a happy relationship ever in my life, so I used drugs as a replacement or substitute for a relationship with someone i could never have.

      The recession hit-I made things worse by indulging excessively into drugs and living paycheck to paycheck. I drained my IRA and Savings completely. My position was eliminated and I found myself immediately unemployed with out any savings to speak of due to my irresponsible behavior.
      Also during this time I lost my younger brother due to suicide, and my father became ill shortly thereafter and after multiple operations and treatments he passed away too.

      I lost my income, my condo, my attractive but -addict girlfriend, multiple friends. I was hospitalized for severe pancreatitus that has change my health outlook for good and ended alcohol consumption entirely.

      I have very few friends now, little social life and spend most of my time alone. I have began to rebuild my business-that has still not yet produced enough income for me to live on my own. Its been a long uphill battle to return to a semblance of the independence I used to have.

      There are many times I have considered ending my life-but all that would do is torture my mother more than she already has been. She’s the only one that truly loves me and seems pathetic I could not affect anyone else but her. I treated great people and beautiful girls poorly. I deserve this but not to this length. That would not be fair to her since she has been totally supportive of my recovery physically and financially. She has no idea how much in debt I am in and what I did to ruin myself.

      So I am left with no other choice but trying to improve my life by returning to college at age 45-to perhaps gain new skills that could broaden my employability and value to the work force.

      I have faith in God that I will meet someone new, find good employment once again-and regain some of the former stability I used to always have. It’s been over four years now-and I just can’t believe how much my life still sucks.

      But you must continue on and try to do your best. This is only temporary and your life will improve and things will get better no doubt. One day you will look back laugh and wonder why what you were so worried about. Remember: Tragedy + Time = Humor. You cannot know what true happiness is until you have experience grief and suffering. I am sure you will get what you want and regain god’s favor once again. Be patient, my friend, and shrug it off. I know how much it hurts.

      God Bless-
      Jeff

  6. what made my life sucks is because im too weak–physically, emotionally and mentally. I cant do what the others can easily do, I always pull back whenever I tried to move on and make my life. I have a lot of fears in me, and that fears turn into anger–to people, to myself, to the world.

  7. Im reading this as i wait for the clock to strike 12 when im off from this self made prison ive trapped myself in. Im 29, dancing at night and working as a home care worker during the day. Im exhausted. Not living the life i day dreamed about when i was younger. Come from a terrible upbringing and its totally started effecting me as i get old enough to understnd how screwed up i really am. I just feel i was doomed from the start. I never had a chance. Ill soon be 30 and alone. No kids. No husband. Just rocky relationships along the way. A damn mess. Pray for me. There are days i beg the universe to just not wake me up.

  8. I can tell you from experience that death sucks far worse than the worst day of life. When you gasp for that last breath but you can’t breath, your vision narrows to emptiness, you struggle to stay alert, your mind races, your life flashing before your eyes. The things you should have done, the things you should have said! The adrenaline filled fear grips these fading thought of your family, friends and the final panicked thought before darkness, does God know my name? I lived by the grace of God and some really good medics. I was given a second chance. The death experience changed my life! I get depressed just like everybody, but I know the fear of death and what it feels like to die. Death SUCKS far worse than the shittiest day being alive – please trust me on this one.

  9. Hi,

    I have always worked for enjoyment and not for the pay packet. My jobs have always been low paid jobs. I don’t drink, smoke or take drugs. I always have cheap accommodation. I don’t spend extravagance. But I can’t seem to get ahead. I am in the pattern of having enough to pay bills and then the next month I can’t pay rent or fuel. I literally run out of money.

    I want to improve my life. But at the moment I don’t have any money for fuel or rent. I can’t afford to buy milk for my coffee.

    I keep trying to be independent and positive thinking.

    But I do despair.

    Thank you for listening. I feel a little bit better

    Lyndie

  10. i’m facing so much troubles in my life i don’t know sometimes due to inexpereince and sometime’s it’s circumstantial. i don’t know how could i get of all my trouble. i try to solve the one and mess up with other after comleting my studies i never find a day when all my worries over day by day it’s improving and time is going by i couldn’t sort out anything

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  12. three of them, but mostly because of arrogance. i don’t know, they’re all related btw.well,when you are inexperience plus in hard times, everything goes wrong. then, people blame you and look down on you which causes us to try to be strong (causes arrogance). so, how?

  13. Hi, life is so hard for me at the moment, after graduated from uni, I was expecting that my life is gonna get less worries soon, but guess what, it is so tough to find a permanent job, my boss is very strict and it makes me scared. I keeps telling myself that everything is gonna get better. Thank for the post. I really enjoy reading it.

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